#FoodForThought: The Adventures of Fanny and Olive (Roux)

<editorsnote> Nerds, meet my buddy Fanny. No really - that is her actual name. She is a massive massive massive foodie, and would like to share with you all the adventures on all of the things she puts in her mouth. Wait, no - not like that ... I mean ... well, you know what I mean. Aw shucks, just hit it already Fanny ... </editorsnote>

#TalkNerdyToMeLover's Fanny Slater

when was the last time any of you watched the golden girls?  you probably have to think about it…don’t you?  well, if you’re my best friend sara—

your answer would be, “what are you talking about, i'm watching it right now.” 

well just to refresh your memory, in almost every episode there is a signature moment of recollection brought to you by the eldest character sophia.  it is always a long-winded story about her as a young woman, and each time it consistently starts out something like this: “picture this!  sicily, 1947.  a beautiful girl stands beneath a lemon tree, brushing her long golden locks…”

well, let me fill you in on my week.

picture this!  hollywood, 2011.  a young woman with dirty blonde hair and sad, droopy carolina blue eyes leans over a kitchen sink to avert scraps of chicken from getting caught in the folds of her scarf.  she reaches a greasy hand out to a clear lime-ridden bottle with a long skinny neck.  she watches half of the honey-colored liquid disappear and then pops a piece of potato in her mouth.  she swallows and then inhales heavily as she realizes that she has yet to remove her jacket or even her dark brown boots. 

well friends, i’m embarrassed to admit that this horrific visual image i’ve just painted for you illustrates the perfect picture of yours truly last night around 8:30 PM.  i knew that having a full time job would lead to long hours and less time in the kitchen, but i had no idea that i would find myself hunched over a sink shoveling store-bought roast chicken into my mouth like a homeless person who had just found the jackpot of all trashcans.  don't get me wrong, the paychecks are great--but money doesn't buy happiness.  money buys you a six pack of coronas and roasted baby potatoes from gelson's that are not meant to be eaten with your fingers.  someday when i have my own cooking show and i'm teaching the world how to caramelize red onions, all of my past bosses who ever kept me at the office past dinnertime will rue the day they made fanny slater stay late!  and i don't mean roux--the combination of equal parts flour and butter used as a thickening agent for sauces and soups.  the point of this story is not just that i've been left with no time to cook and little inspiration to create new dishes in my head.  the point is that even a foodie needs to pick up dinner once a while.  if you have the time to spend an hour and a half creating delicious masterpieces like open faced lamb burgers with homemade olive tapenade--then you absolutely should.  but if the daily grind has drained you of your creativity, then treat yourself to a hot pocket and couple of cheap beers.

i now present to you: open-faced rosemary lamb burger on toasted ciabatta with feta, homemade red onion jam, olive tapenade, and tzatziki

despite the fact that my enthusiasm for eating this week has been limited to the pint of fro-yo in my lap thanks to late nights at work and a raging sinus infection--you know that i wouldn't end my rant without leaving you a FAN--get it? that's my name--tastic recipe.  for those of you that don't follow me on twitter (SHAME ON YOU! just kidding, i literally just signed up) then you might have missed homemade lamb burger night last week.  you know...last week--before i was officially working full-time and had a pause in my day to do important things like floss my teeth and remember to wear socks.  i had been watching a lot of diners, drive-ins, and dives that week and the plethora of burgers appearing on the show began to entice the foodie part of my brain.  also known as...95% of my brain.  what's the other 5% you ask?  a complete encyclopedia of quotes and references to episodes of f.r.i.e.n.d.s.

okay, let's get down to it:

when i think of lamb, i think of succulent juicy herbaceous flavors.  in order to make that into a burger, you have to let the lamb be the star.  i used complementary flavors (they were so thoughtful!) like rosemary, garlic, and dried oregano.  i like my lamb a little on the rare side--which some people may think is crazy--so feel free to cook yours crazy to medium crazy.  in a roaring hot pan with a touch of olive oil, i seared the burger on both sides (4-5 minute per side).  once it was done and the juices were settling, i began the components for the rest of the dish.  i figured if i was going to go through the trouble of making a homemade greek burger...

i might as well go all out with the condiments.  

homemade olive tapenade: finely chop kalamata and greek-marinated green olives (you can find these at any grocery store with an olive bar) and mix with a squeeze of lemon juice, olive oil, red wine vinegar, capers, and cracked black pepper.

red onion jam: thinly slice red onions and cook SLOWLY in butter and salt.  once they start to break down (10-15 minutes) add a splash of red wine vinegar, a touch of sweetener like agave or honey, and balsamic vinegar.  reduce mixture until the consistency is similar to a thick marmalade.

homemade tzatziki: plain non-fat greek yogurt (or sour cream), cucumbers, dill, lemon juice, garlic, and salt.  **foodie note: if you shred the cucumbers, make sure to drain the water out of them by adding a little salt and letting them sit for five minutes.  nobody likes a runny tzatziki**

as you can see from the chain of events, the ciabatta was toasted, spread with olive tapenade, topped with fresh spinach, our lamb burger, and the red onion jam.  it was then finished off with some crumbled feta and tzatziki sauce.  the moral of the story is that with a little time and a little patience, a beautiful restaurant-style meal can be created in your own kitchen with some pretty basic ingredients.  however with absolutely no time and an overflowing amount of patients (when you work in a dentist's office like i do), you might want to keep a frozen pizza in your freezer and a bottle opener on hand.

#nerdsunite

**foodie note: ....MADE YA LOOK! insert shameless plug here for twitter: 

https://twitter.com/#!/fannyslater**

#FoodForThought: The Adventures of Fanny and Olive (reach out and smell the banana peels.)

<editorsnote> Nerds, meet my buddy Fanny. No really - that is her actual name. She is a massive massive massive foodie, and would like to share with you all the adventures on all of the things she puts in her mouth. Wait, no - not like that ... I mean ... well, you know what I mean. Aw shucks, just hit it already Fanny ... </editorsnote>

#TalkNerdyToMeLover's @fannyslater

let's face it.
i'm funny.

i'm the kind of person that loves cracking a bad joke to break the tension in a room.  the kind of person that will stick straws up her nose just to get a laugh out of someone who seems a little too serious.  but my brain isn't just full of cheetos and homemade tzatziki sauce.  nope.  there's a real thinker up there.

that being said, i'd like to give you some words of wisdom today that aren't exactly food-related.  okay, that's a lie.  everything always comes back around to food in my world.  i'm a strong believer in the idea of putting things out into the universe.  and i don't mean throwing a banana peel out of your window.  littering is bad and everyone knows that banana peels are only used in cartoons.  my parents always told me that if you want something to happen, you're responsible for making it possible.  you can't just sit around and expect things to fall in your lap.  i sure wish a turkey sandwich would fall in my lap right now.

wait, who's writing this thing anyway...

sorry about that.  like i was saying...i believe that if you want things to happen, you have to do your part to help bring them into your life.  case and point: about three months ago, i was without a job and very unhappy.  although i was spending every day sending out resumes and doing things to get myself out of the house, i still felt very useless.  i sat down and reflected on the things i was passionate about.  and i don't mean unattainable dreams like opening my very own starbucks inside my living room.  i thought about things that i enjoyed doing everyday and how i could turn them into potential job opportunities for myself.  i think i've made it clear that i'm obsessed with food.  i decided to do some research on local caterers.  i wasn't looking for big time companies with huge staffs.  i was searching for individuals like myself who have a passion for food and have turned that into an independent business.  i came upon a company named belly bliss and emailed the chef/owner.  i told her that i wasn't necessarily looking for a job, but just looking to be in a kitchen and get some great experience because i was interested in someday starting a similar company.  surprisingly, i was greeted back with a warm response and even some compliments on the pictures of my food.  this kind stranger also mentioned that although she didn't have any room on her staff at the present time, she would keep me in mind for the future.  yesterday, i received an email from her saying that she had a big event coming up in december that she would like my help with.  

i. was. floored.  

first of all, please browse through some of her fantastic catering pictures and tell me that you wouldn't want to dig into this divine food.  second, i realize that this is only one tiny opportunity and on the surface may not seem like a big deal--but i can't explain to you enough how exciting this is for me.  the foodie part of my brain has been going crazy recently, hence the insane amount of randomly delicious creations i've been whipping up.  the more i cook, and the more i write about cooking, the more i'm uncovering this passion that has always been inside of me.  not only do i feel like i've started to truly find my voice, but my love for cooking and creating things in the kitchen is expanding every single day.  this opportunity is hardly a "job."  it's likely not even going to lead to anything further.  but in fanny world, getting the hands-on experience of two hours of prep work with a real caterer feels like hitting the jackpot right now.  i believe that not just by putting concrete things (like an email) out into the world, but putting positive energy and hope out there as well...anything is possible.

"with the possible exception of the equator, everything begins somewhere." ~ c.s. lewis

and now that i've filled your hungry brains with deep thoughts and words of wisdom...
let's talk about eggs.  

playing along with the theme of "anything is possible," i'd like to discuss why it's important to never be afraid of trying a new dish.  i'd like to consider myself an egg aficionado.  an eggnado, if you will.  i'll scramble you a pair of eggs that defy gravity and make you a frittata that could change your political views.  however, that doesn't mean that i'm schooled in every form of egg-making.  baked eggs is something i've seen on very few menus, but have always been intrigued by.  the dish originated in france, and is called oeufs en cocotte.  oeufs obviously means "eggs" and...well...cocotte translates to "casserole" or "prostitute."  

hey, if you like your eggs with prostitutes--that is nobody else's business but your own.

i had never attempted making baked eggs at home, but since it was as straightforward as making a casserole (throwing everything in one pan and putting it in the oven), i figured i could give it a shot.  i dissected the idea of a baked egg in my head.  it seemed as simple as a sunny side egg with whatever toppings i desire.  i had read in various recipes that it was supposed to include cream, and while that confused me--i went with it anyway.

when you're experimenting in your own kitchen, the only person there to judge you is your cat.  and seeing how her last snack was a ladybug--she's not all that picky.  

i knew that more than anything, i wanted my eggs en prostitute to be full of flavor.  so i REACHED out into the universe (see how i brought you back to our original theme there?) and pulled out some onions, mushrooms, and tomatoes.  by the way, in that last sentence: universe = fridge.  i roasted tomato slices in the oven with olive oil, salt, pepper, and balsamic for some sweetness.  *foodie note: not a tomato person?  try roasting them at a high temperature in the oven.  their flavor becomes sweet, and if you can't still stand the texture--stir them into a pasta sauce or mix with cream cheese for a yummy sandwich spread so you at least take advantage of their flavor.*  i sauteed shitake mushrooms with butter, thyme, and a little white wine.  while all of this was going on, in another pan i slowly caramelized red onions in butter and a squeeze of agave (a nectar that is sweet like honey, but less sticky).  when all of my elements were complete, i buttered my ramekin and layered the dish.  after some sprinkles of muenster cheese, parmesan, and dill--it was time for the eggs.  *foodie note: always crack your eggs in a separate bowl.  you never know if one will be bad, cracked, or have a baby chicken inside.*  i added a touch of milk, wished my breakfast good luck, and slid it underneath the broiler for 5-6 minutes.  everything else in your dish is already cooked, so you just need to keep an eye on the status of your melting cheese and the consistency of your eggs.  cook to your preferred doneness, serve alongside toasted rye bread, and enjoy.

and there you have it. my first attempt at baked eggs.  all because i reached out and tried something new.  i put myself out there, and look at what i got in return.  so go.  follow your dreams.  aim for the stars.  make breakfast with a prostitute.

you know, whatever.

#nerdsunite

click here to check out more from Fanny! (heheheeheh her name is Fanny)

and follow her on twitter over yonder!

#FoodForThought: The Adventures of Fanny and Olive (The Queen of England)

<editorsnote> Nerds, meet my buddy Fanny. No really - that is her actual name. She is a massive massive massive foodie, and would like to share with you all the adventures on all of the things she puts in her mouth. Wait, no - not like that ... I mean ... well, you know what I mean. Aw shucks, just hit it already Fanny ... </editorsnote>

#TalkNerdyToMeLover's Fanny Slater

i'd like to say that olive and i are the kind of cooks who wear many hats.

olive, that's not exactly what i mea......nevermind.

what i mean by that, is that i don't always like to stick to one type of cuisine when preparing a dish.  i'm not saying that you should have crab rangoons on the side of your eggplant parmesan--i just mean that sometimes it's fun to combine two different flavor profiles of food in one meal.  in this case--we're talking mexican and greek.  or greexican, if you will.  i have a strange obsession with greek food.  where it came from, i have absolutely no idea.  it's not that my family doesn't like greek food--my parents will drive twenty five minutes out of the way for good hummus.  however, i have such an infatuation with this specific cuisine that i'm convinced i was bottle-fed tzatziki sauce as a child.  today's lesson is not just about mingling two different styles of food.  i'd also like to talk to you a little bit about flavor.

seriously. can we please...PLEASE stop the hate crimes against quesadillas?

can we please stop slapping american cheese between a folded tortilla, sticking it in the microwave, and trying to pass it off as a quesadilla?  seriously.  get that sh*t out of here.  to me, a quesadilla is simply different flavorful ingredients (along with cheese) stuffed between a flour tortilla, which is crisped on both sides, melted in the middle, cut into triangles, and dipped into some sort of sauce.  the same way that you can turn anything into a sandwich--this rule applies for quesadillas as well.  one of the things i love about getting quesadillas at a good quality mexican restaurant is that they know how to add depth and flavor.  the more i watch behind-the-scenes cooking at mexican restaurants on my favorite food network show "diners, drive ins, and dives" the more i learn how to mirror these same flavors at home.  if you want to re-create those big, bold, spicy dishes in your own kitchen--you need to follow this very important rule:  you don't produce mexican food by squeezing a lime over something or sprinkling it with chili powder.  

you also don't become the queen of england by wearing a funny hat and sipping tea.

see what i'm saying?

you need to let all of your ingredients simmer together in a pool of mexican flavors.  imagine, if you will, a spicy, tomato-ey hot tub that turns your food from average to OLE! in no time.  for last night's quesadilla, i wanted everything to be entirely from scratch.  i started out by roasting a big juicy piece of chicken breast on the bone with olive oil, lemon, oregano, paprika, pepper, and smoky hawaiian sea salt.  while that was cooking, i began preparing my mexican hot tub. caramelized red onions, cremini mushrooms, charred yellow pepper, and garlic simmered together in a little marsala wine for some extra sweetness.  once the chicken was cooked and rested (you NEVER want to use sleepy chicken), i shredded it by hand and added it to the party on the stove.  at this point, all we had was chicken and veggies.

then, olive and i pulled out our maracas and took a turn for the southwest.

into the pan went: diced tomatoes, two kinds of hot sauce, chili powder, red pepper flakes, lime juice, lime zest, and a mexican fajita seasoning salt (cumin, cayenne pepper, paprika, garlic powder, sugar, etc).  as all of those ingredients simmered and bubbled down, the spicy ingredients clung onto the chicken and vegetables.  the aromas of chilies and tomatoes filled the air, and i swear a mariachi band nearby began to weep.  next i moved onto the cheese.  a lot of people just throw mozzarella in a quesadilla and call it a day.  well, i believe that the best rule of thumb is "use what you have on hand" so if that happens to be mozzarella, then go for it.  i just happened to have cheddar, muenster, parmesan, and a creamy sun-dried tomato mozzarella spread in my fridge.  i blame my mom for this--as her idea of a fun day is bringing home eleven different assorted cheeses from whole foods.  once everything was tucked away inside the whole wheat tortilla, i dropped it in a hot pan with oil, flipping it once to create a golden brown crust on both sides.  

now back to all that crazy talk about giving this meal a little greek-pick-me-up.  100% of the time, you see plain sour cream served with a quesadilla.  well, i happen to love tzatziki sauce--which is generally made with thick greek yogurt, but can also be created from scratch by using sour cream.  if you like strawberry jelly on your toast, then why would you buy orange marmalade? 

catch my drift?

no?

that's okay, it didn't really make sense.

what i'm saying is--why use a simple, boring old sour cream to dress up my quesadilla when my heart longs for garlicky, lemony tzatziki sauce?  i think that with the spicy, acidic homemade pico de gallo (see recipe below) you need something light and citrus-flavored to cut through it.  

*foodie note: homemade pico de gallo takes less than ten minutes to make. try it. i dare you.*  the ingredients are as follows: fresh diced tomatoes (i like roma tomatoes or tomatoes on the vine), diced jalapeno, diced red onion, lime juice, salt, pepper, chili powder, cilantro (i generally don't have cilantro in my fridge, but this recipe is JUST as good without it).  if you have a fajita seasoning packet--i got mine at the farmer's market for $1--sprinkle some of that in there as well.  you really just need a pinch of all the seasonings, but do it to your own taste preference.  homemade tzatziki sauce: plain greek yogurt OR sour cream (i like the non-fat because i eat this stuff by the spoonful), lemon juice, lemon zest, fresh dill, fresh minced garlic, diced cucumbers, salt. 

mix, serve alongside your fancy new quesadilla, take a bow.

OLE!  i mean...OPA!  i mean...whatever, just eat your quesadilla.

#nerdsunite

click here to check out more from Fanny! (heheheeheh her name is Fanny)

and follow her on twitter over yonder!



#FoodForThought: The Adventures of Fanny and Olive (Thriller)

<editorsnote> Nerds, meet my buddy Fanny. No really - that is her actual name. She is a massive massive massive foodie, and would like to share with you all the adventures on all of the things she puts in her mouth. Wait, no - not like that ... I mean ... well, you know what I mean. Aw shucks, just hit it already Fanny ... </editorsnote>

#TalkNerdyToMeLover's Fanny Slater

there is nothing more exciting in the cooking world than stumbling onto something unexpected. sometimes in the regular world, this is not always the case. the unexpected discovery of gum on the bottom of your flip flop is not always a welcome surprise. although i'm a big fan of traditional flavors, sometimes it can be fun to change it up once in a while. i once had this dish at a los angeles restaurant that completely blew my mind. i've lived in california for about 425 days now, so you can imagine how many meals i've consumed on the west coast. this one, however, stood out from all the others. a guy who knew that eating was my passion thought it would be impressive to take me out on a date to a restaurant owned by a food network star. this restaurant is called "street" and the owner and chef is the delightfully quirky TV personality susan feniger. the idea behind street is that every dish is based on street foods that chef feniger has experienced all over the world. it is also served tapas style--which is spanish for small appetizers to share. my date had eaten here once before and he wouldn't stop raving about their signature dish: "kaya toast." before our asses hit the chairs, he had put in an order for one. ten minutes later when this beautiful plate was slid under my nose--i immediately regretting going to a restaurant where i was expected to share.

on the menu, kaya toast is described as toasted bread spread thick with coconut jam; served with a soft fried egg drizzled in dark soy and white pepper." it may sound like the strangest list of ingredients, and it may look like a grilled cheese paired with an egg--but it was one of the most interesting and unique flavor combinations i've ever experienced in my life. what appeared to be a grilled cheese tasted more like crusty white bread with a soft, creamy and sweet spread in the middle. this coconut essence is your sweet factor. using the corner of your toasty bread, you break the egg yolk and drag your sandwich through the dark soy sauce river. as the yolk spills onto the soy, the velvety richness combines with the salty soy sauce. this is your salty factor. when you first see the dish, your brain says, "what in the hell do i do with all of this?" but when you combine all of those flavors together in one single bite, your entire mouth immediately explodes with flavors. sometimes boring or bland dishes can be described as one-note. this is the opposite of one-note. in fact, it's a freakin' orchestra. not only are the flavors complex and interesting as they blend together harmoniously in your mouth, but they are constantly changing and growing in depth as you continue to chew. like i said--i love a simple, traditional dish. but when you're looking for something different, something surprising, something that stimulates every taste bud sensor on your palate--ones that you didn't even know you had--unexpected flavors are the way to go.

as for the date, let's just say the only thing that came home with me was another order of the kaya toast.

speaking of the unexpected, i happen to live with a food critic who surprises me every so often with her taste buds. olive loves the standard cat favorites--chicken, turkey, fish--but every now and then i catch her attempting to chow down on something completely out of the ordinary.

Fanny's cat Olivea few days ago, i set down my plate of roasted vegetables to walk into the other room. i came back in minutes later to find that olive had eaten every parsnip off of my plate. last night, as my eyes were glued the country music awards premiering live on TV, i left my totino's pizza unguarded for about thirty to seconds only to look down and see olive licking tomato sauce and pepperoni off of her paw.

the point is--in the foodie world, sometimes unexpected things can make for the best stories. that being said, don't think i'm going to let you leave today without a recipe that falls into that very category. because i've already rambled on for quite some time, i'll just keep this part short by starting off with one simple word:  bruschetta. bruschetta is traditionally tomatoes, basil, olive oil, and garlic on a crusty piece of toasted bread. i will offer you this piece of advice: next time you make a meal for someone and include brushchetta on your menu--go outside of the box a little bit. bruschetta just means some form of toppings on top of some form of a crostini. the crostini, or toasted baguette, or crispy cracker is simply just a vehicle for your toppings. the toppings are the star. ladies--when you're driving down the street and see a good looking guy in a nice car--how often do you shout, "nice ride! what year?" never, because the car isn't what you're interested in. you instead pull out something much smoother like, "what kind of conditioner do you use?"

...i completely forgot what we were talking about.

oh right, bruschetta. my recipe for you today is an interesting twist on a classic that will absolutely knock your socks off. the bottom for the bruschetta can be any form of crostini. i found a dark honey oat french loaf in the bakery section of a grocery store and thought that the brown color would be a nice contrast to the bright shades on top. after toasting your crostini pieces (sliced into circles and drizzled with a little olive oil or butter), spread on a layer of room temperature goat cheese. then top with fresh sliced strawberries, basil, cracked black pepper, candied walnuts or pecans, and a drizzle of reduced balsamic syrup.

if i had a nickel for every time i've made these and heard someone say to the person next to them, "what the hell is that?"...well, then i probably would be living a bigger apartment. but let's face it--michael jackson's "thriller" didn't become a huge success because anyone had a clue what the hell he was doing at first. like i explained to you in my last post, the whole idea behind easy, impressive, inexpensive, fun cooking is all about a unique blend of fresh ingredients. the strawberries and basil are your sweetness and make the dish bright. the sweet, syrupy flavor from the reduced balsamic and the sugary crunch from the candied nuts pair up perfectly with the goat cheese--your creamy factor. now here comes the most unexpected twist of all: the cracked black pepper...are you ready for this? is actually what brings the dish together as a whole. with sweetness, creaminess, and a lot of fresh bright flavors already present--you need some kind of spice that holds up as a contrast to everything else. it's all about balance!

now throw on some MJ and get cooking.

*foodie note: to make reduced balsamic--boil down half a cup of balsamic vinegar with a tablespoon of honey (or agave) until it's thickened up like a syrup. then pour over EVERYTHING. trust me.*

#nerdsunite

click here to check out more from Fanny! (heheheeheh her name is Fanny)