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<editorsnote> Hi, I'm Jen Friel, and we here at TNTML examine the lives of nerds outside of the basements and into the social media, and dating world.  We have over 75 peeps that write about their life in real time. (Real nerds, real time, real deal.) Sit back, relax, and enjoy some of the stories!! </editorsnote>

 

 

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Entries in nerds unite (175)

Wednesday
Nov162011

Fun with #Facebook: Nerdy thoughts on a dislike button  

<editorsnote> Nerds, meet Jordan. He's been writing for us for a while now ... actually come to think of it, he was one of the first writers on this site - so he's been here a superly duperly long time. He's got a lot of thoughts inside that big head of his, here are some of them ... HIT IT JORDAN!!! </editorsnote>

#TalkNerdyToMeLover's @saintpepsi

What I am about to speak of has been bantered about the websphere for ages. It is something every single facebook user has thought about. Just like every male in the world at some point has thought about having sex with his female friends. Why isn't there a dislike button? No doubt you have seen the pages dedicated to petitioning facebook for one. Articles listing the reasons why. Others listing reasons why not. Still the thumbs down remains absent. Even with the plethora of reasons for it, still it is assumed that anything that you can dislike becomes negative. Why would facebook assume this? Disliking things isn't always negative. In fact there are things that demand dislike. “My grandmother just died in a car wreck, I found out I have cancer, or I lost my job because of downsizing.” These are things that should be disliked. Things that you then have to comment on because you can't just hit dislike. Resulting in an awkward conversation. Generally, even if people post depressing things on facebook they aren't looking to talk about them, just to keep people informed. The forced comment starts conversations. Where as a simple dislike allows someone to let them know we are thinking of them without engaging in a sore subject. On top of that the forced conversation often leads to angry statements such as, “I don't want to talk about it!” This is fine if you let it go at that. Still people tend to get confrontational at responses like this, “We take the time to comment and you don't even want to talk about it.” Suddenly, something that was just a dark spot in someone’s life or day becomes a battle to maintain privacy.  Ending in the deletion of the thread or people yelling at someone, “Why post about it at all if they didn't want to talk about it.” Sometimes, we just like to keep people informed without having to draw it out into a giant story. That's what notes and blogs are for.

This, “only think positive” trend seems to be saturating the net. With Googles +1 and Twitter's Favorite. Luckily, YouTube sacked up and put a thumbs down on it. It's almost like content control. It allows people to understand just what if something they did really is horribly offensive, or just plain sucks and should be taken down or left up as a testament to douchebaggery. Sometimes, we do or say things that need others to verify that they aren't good. As a people we tend to rationalize anything we do. It's how we get through the day. If we can convince ourselves that whatever we do is funny, essential, or good for us we can do that thing. Even if that thing is good, bad, or self destructive. Still that outside perspective can be a powerful motivator for change. It can open your eyes to your own faults. Or it can quickly open your eyes to overzealous creepy people, or jealous people. Let's say you are interested in a girl or guy and after you friend them they go through your photo's and dislike any picture you have with another girl or guy. Instantly, you are clued into their jealous streak and can avoid the relationship that would no doubt end shortly after this person punches a close friend of yours in the face for hugging you. Sure you can get the same feeling from them liking every single photo of you or liking everything you post or write, but with a dislike button it narrows that margin of error. Making it all the more creeptastic if they take the time to write something on each picture and status update. With a dislike button next to their comments you would be allowed to subtly let them know that they are creeping you the fuck out without having to unfriend them or block them right off the bat. Instead things tend to go way to far, way too fast. Your Mom can't just let you know she thinks your pictures are a little immature with a dislike, she has to comment on them. We lose the power of subtly.  Sure you can always simply like something to let people know you saw it, but you don't always like everything you hit that button on. I know plenty of people who simply write out dislike. Still at that point the other person knows you took the time to write. If you take that time you may have well have written a comment. It's a no win situation. In the end generally we just don't bother.

If you want to test this theory simply post something really happy one day. Chances are you will get a lot of “likes” and a few comments. The next day post something horrible or depressing. You will get 1 or 2 “likes” from people you will automatically think are dicks. You know that's true. Hell if people post awful things that happen to them and anyone “likes” it even if it's not my status I think they are dicks.  On top of that a whole shit ton of comments and questions on why you feel this way or asking what's wrong. All of which could have been avoided by a “dislike” button. Simple as that facebook. If youtube can add a “thumbs down,” you can surely add a “dislike” button. After that we'll talk about the “meh” button. Which shall be the new hot topic on the interwebs soon enough. Allowing people to voice their utter un-amusement and disdain for status updates and posts of irrelevance without having to commit to “liking” it or “disliking” it.  

Friday
Nov112011

They're Talking Nerdy Baby: #NerdsUnite

Wow. Wow. Wow.


I have a message for you all regarding #Video: A Nerd's Guide to Being Unapologetically Awesome:

 

Your comments, tweets, emails, and smoke signals are making. my. life.

Thanks guys so so SOOOOO much for the love!

And yah! the tone and verbiage definitely isn't for everyone - but those that get it, really fucking get it, and those are the only people I am interested in talking to!! =) I say dude, gnarly, rad - and am a nerdy hippie at my core; I can't not be this way!!

(Being commercially vanilla in the online world = death, btw. Isolate people, drop F-bombs, it gets people fired up. I speak a very specific message to a very specific group, and it's fucking RAD, MAN!!!)

Whoop whoop!

If you're interested in hearing more about the new media production company - you can email:

JenFriel at talknerdytomelover dot com.

I still live off of sponsorships, so if you are interested in working together - you can email:

Sponsors at talknerdytomelover dot com

We just got office space starting next week, so shits getting real - but in the meantime we're still working a solid hustle. I'm fascinated by the merging of social media and television and what this means for storytelling. And as far as TNTML as a whole is concerned you can think of us as Cosmo for nerds. We discuss nerds, sex, and tech! =) YAY LIFE!!!

This site is my passion, this site is my soul - and it means the WORLD to me that you all are here.

If you ever have something to say though - please reach out!

@JenFriel

Facebook.com/JenFriel

Keep on keepin on nerds!!!

#nerdsunite

click here to watch the video for yourself

Wednesday
Nov022011

#NerdsUnite: Meghan's Metamorphosis 

<editorsnote> Nerds, meet my buddy Meghan. She came on board months ago to write for us, and then very unexpectedly had her life change. No like for reals - her first email to me was how she was in this relationship ... and how awesome it was ... like literally a week later, they broke up. She hasn't been able to write for months and is now dipping her toes back in the water. I only have one more thing left to say ... HIT IT MEGHAN!!</editorsnote>

#TalkNerdyToMeLover's Meghan Brown

Trying to change is hard. 

This whole "Metamorphosis" idea came from a sense of deep dissatisfaction with my life as it stood. I didn't want to be the heartbreak girl, the writer who wasn't writing, the disorganized slob buried in dirty laundry who borrowed stuff and never gave it back. I wanted to be me, but better. 

And it turns out that being better? Is hard. 

Lately it feels like there are too many balls in the air. I can exercise or I can go to the store or I can work on my play. I can make a good, healthy dinner or I can send out submission packets or I can organize my closet. I've spent the last month trying to hit zero so that I can focus on moving forward... but sometimes even that seems out of reach. 

Yesterday I tackled my "Nervous List", the list of tasks that I've been avoiding because they involve some element of anxiety (...usually simply because I've gone too long without doing them). I sent some overdue emails, got my car smogged, oil changed, and washed, spent a million dollars at Target buying things that I needed weeks ago. I caught up on all of my work stuff, made a concrete writing plan, went item by item through my bank balance. Then I came home and cleaned every square inch of my house. Floors, bathrooms, fridge, you name it. I washed every last dish in the sink. Spotless. 

For the first time since everything changed, I felt really, really ready. 

Which, of course, is when fate decided to throw a curveball. 

Last night something happened that could have derailed me. Last night I had an opportunity to move backwards to something safer. Something familiar. Something that I've missed more that I knew I was capable of missing anything. Something that might have soothed the wounded part at the expense of the focused one.

And I didn't take it. 

I chose the new me. The me that's struggling. The me that's striving. I chose to stay committed to the person that hasn't quite formed yet. The one who's coming. I chose to have faith that I wouldn't be where I was if it wasn't the absolute right thing. I chose to trust myself.

Which was the moment that I knew. We've been changing all this time. There's been a metamorphosis after all. 

xo

-Meghan

#nerdsunite

click here to follow Meghan on twitter

and check out her tumblr over yonder!

Wednesday
Oct262011

#NerdsUnite: New Biz Idea ...

Someone please take this and do something with it... FOR REAL!! I need this in my life ...

 

There's some market research for ya!

And what's the obsession with bacon as someone asked ... I don't know. It's just delicious and very literally bacon, and bacon only, flips this switch in my brain like an orgasm. It's so delicious, and explosive ... and and and it's BACON!!!

But for the business model, the immediate nature of the bacon delivery is important. It's a craving, so it MUST be appeased in under an hour. Maybe have the delivery dudes and chicas be on motorcycles to get there faster. But it MUST MUST MUST be delivered in under an hour.

Oh, and have a really rad website where you can order directly ... and please please please hire someone that can develop a good UI. A good, clean user interface turns me on almost as much as bacon.

ALLLLMOOOOOSSSSTTTTTT

(EVERY NIGHT I STILL CURSE THE UI ON NETFLIX!!! WHOOOOOO THE HELL CAME UP WITH THE ENDLESS SCROLL OPTION FOR THEIR WEB PAGE!! FIRE THEM! FIRE THEM! FIRE THEM!!!

Okay, I'm going to stop screaming now)

#kthxbye

Wednesday
Oct262011

They're Talking Nerdy Baby: #NerdsUnite

I used to get a lot of emails and face to face IRL hang outs when people would be like viscerally angry with me.

I. CANT. STOP. READING. YOUR. SITE, but I have NOOO idea why - they would say. It's just so addicting!!

I don't know why people find this site interesting, haha it's self indulgent. I write about my life, and brought along my friends to then write about THEIR lives ... and we're like totally just talking about ourselves and apparently people find that interesting. IMHO I think it's just the honesty. No matter what at the end of the day, myself and all of the contributors are ALARMINGLY honest individuals. For me it's spiritual, for others it's educational ... I get it ... but it just makes me laugh.

I wrote that to this duderino the other day and then he replied back with this ...

 

AHHH well thank you duderino! I very much went through a shift in consciousness in the last 2 years of launching this brand. I've done things that were smart, other things that were dumb, but at the end of the day I kept going, and I keep learning every day- so of course this is raw!! The empowerment comes from the fact that I KNOOOOWWWWWW social media works, because it kept me very literally alive for a year. Morning, noon, and night - I never went hungry, never went without a place to stay, 365 days almost down to the minute! It was crazy, but totally worked and COMPLETELY surprised me. Everything about my journey was accidental - I didn't even mean for it to go for an entire year. I was crazy enough to be prepared to die for what I was doing, it just so happened to be the good kinda crazy that actually worked.

Of COURRRRSSEEE I am insecure. I was born a nerd. Dudes, even when it came to us doing our first few events, and what now became an event company that I am launching with Jenn Hoffman, I wanted to jump out of my skin. I don't throw parties or events!!! I still to this day won't plan a birthday party out of fear that no one will show up!! Even now!! It's redic, and laughable - I get it, but it comes with self worth. I OOOWNNNNN my shit in the digital world, and know I can get to people, and have them listen - but the rest is still a growing process. I still suck at dating, and still get SUPER shy and weird around boys I like. My reputation may precede me online, but IRL I'm still the girl with the hoodie and headphones on, but am ruled by FIERCE curiosity that makes me always down for an adventure in a moment's notice and now have built a network that keep those plentiful.

Thank you very much for the kind words, thank you very much for reading - but yah! I'm just as scared, and out there as the rest of the world ... the only difference is is that I document my fears for the entire interwebz.

If you guys ever have anything you want to say, or want to email me, write for us - anything. I'm ALWAYS game to hear from you.

Email: JenFriel at TalkNerdyToMeLover dot com

Twitter: @JenFriel

Facebook: Facebook.com/jenfriel

Hang out with me IRL by checkin out my checkins: Foursquare.com/jenfriel

Now excuse me for a moment, but the living room is calling, and it has requested a one person dance party to Good Vibrations.

 

Which, btw, for those of you working at home need to do like NOW!! For reals, grab a pair of headphones, grab your ipod - download this song (or pull it up on spotify) and dance like no one is watching (because unless you have some Rear Window shit going on, no one is watching!!) Enjoy life! Feels really good doesn't it?

#nerdsunite