#NerdsUnite: I met my husband on @PlentyOfFish (Yep, I'm tipsy)

<editorsnote> Nerds, meet my buddy Jessica. She and I met through this loverly site, and by her reaching out to me asking if she could write for us. Really rad chickie, she provided a lot of insight into my childhood for me (something you don't get every day from someone!!) - andddddd she has quite the life story. Like did you know she moved cross country for love? ORRRR that she found out her ex cheated on her by reading it on Facebook? ANNNNDDDD she even married a guy she met off of Plenty of Fish! Yep, true story! This is life as told through her eyes, and through the keyword of the nerd. HIT IT JESSICA!!! </editorsnote>

#TalkNerdyToMeLover's @ItsJessWeaver

Ok. Just a warning. I may or may not be sucking down a homemade daiquiri right now as I type this. Wait, I totally am. It’s peach and I made it with triple sec because I didn’t have any rum. I don’t know much about drinks, but it tastes fine to me. Very sweet. Who cares?

I had the kind of day where I decided I was going to have a drink when I came home, and literally mixed it before I ate dinner. In the door; alcohol is top priority. Granted, I worked 11 and a half hours today, and just got home. It isn’t like it’s 4:30; I have nothing to be ashamed of.  I am also not a big drinker. If I was, I suppose I would have actually had rum in the house, instead of triple sec and brandy, which are two ingredients for a drink I wanted to mix once, and now I can’t even remember what it was. These bottles just sit on the top of my fridge, mocking my diet ginger ale.

So, yeah, I am stressed out. This time of year at work is rough. Typical. Nothing bad happened. You know what is really driving me insane? This thing with buying a house. We found a decent one, it’s a foreclosure, it’s going along ok…the contract is signed, and then I start looking for homeowner’s insurance, which you have to have to buy a house with a loan. So, it turns out owning a house is FREAKING EXPENSIVE. The mortgage is the just the beginning; then you have to pay for trash pick up and water and save money in case the water heater explodes. You have to get flood insurance and insect treatment and a termite bond. I am sitting here on Sunday just adding it up and suddenly, I just start melting. I mean, it just hits me like a ton of bricks. DOUBT.

Oh my god, what were you thinking???? YOU ARE NOT READY FOR THIS. You made the wrong choice; you can’t afford this, you are an idiot.

Intellectually, I know it’s the right choice. I know, even though it is scary, we have this moment right now, and we have to seize it. But in my gut, in the scared little animal part of my brain, I am definitely having second thoughts. I eat, but I am forcing it down. The stress has stolen my appetite. I am so focused on getting through this nightmare of red tape and requirements that my ADD brain just can’t handle other things, so I’ve stopped checking twitter and am barely participating in facebook. I haven’t been on google plus to build my profile pretty much at all, and I’ve stopped writing on my blog. It is just too much. The thought of handling this house thing AND paying attention to that other stuff just fills me with dread. If I just get through the next 20 days, I will be ok. I can do this.

Part of it is being afraid to commit, being afraid of debt, being afraid of owning so much. What am I supposed to think of all this? My parents almost lost their house in California this year. They just declared bankruptcy. How am I supposed to feel about establishing a place, a family…some kind of permanent stake somewhere? All this time I’ve sort of avoided taking the leap, hiding behind being young and broke and adventurous…and then I meet this man, and of all things, we get married, and then I get some itch to buy a house and then suddenly it’s all just happening. I’m participating in this system, this economy of expectations and risk, and I am putting down roots.

I am so sure, for once, that this is what I want. And doing it scares the hell out of me. Like, for the first time, I’m really sticking my neck out and committing to something I want—this whole life I’ve built bit by bit over the last year—and I’m saying it’s ok that I don’t know what’s going to happen. Forever, for as long as I can remember, deep down in my 5-year-old memories, I’ve had this sense of dread. If I want something, if I show something is important to me, someone takes it away. It gets ruined. The other shoe drops. So I have this pattern of dropping first—Yeah? So what if that might not work out? I didn’t care anyway. Didn’t matter. I dropped that passion before it walked out on me or no-showed at some crucial moment, or “just didn’t work out.”

I guess what I’m trying to say is, and this might be the alcohol talking, is that I am not walking away from this. I want something real and lasting and solid. I want to count on someone to be there. I want to have a home.  I realize the risk, and it scares the hell out of me, but I am also just really, really…at the end of the day…I’m hopeful. I’m freaked out, but I’m optimistic. I’m anxious, but I also feel calm, because I finally decided to take the leap and settle down. It’s a paradox, that this fear could be healthy…but I have to say, I really think it is.

Oops. Glass is empty. Not good. Off to the kitchen….later, people!

#thatisall

Want more from Jessica? Click here to follow her on twitter!

and check out her blog over yonder!

#NerdsUnite: I met my husband on @PlentyOfFish (Things Tim says)

<editorsnote> Nerds, meet my buddy Jessica. She and I met through this loverly site, and by her reaching out to me asking if she could write for us. Really rad chickie, she provided a lot of insight into my childhood for me (something you don't get every day from someone!!) - andddddd she has quite the life story. Like did you know she moved cross country for love? ORRRR that she found out her ex cheated on her by reading it on Facebook? ANNNNDDDD she even married a guy she met off of Plenty of Fish! Yep, true story! This is life as told through her eyes, and through the keyword of the nerd. HIT IT JESSICA!!! </editorsnote>

#TalkNerdyToMeLover's @ItsJessWeaver

The other night I was sitting at the kitchen table eating dinner with Tim, and for the love of all that is holy, I cannot believe I can’t remember what tangent we were on that got us to this place in the conversation, but we were talking about nutrition.

Oh yes. We were talking about eating home-made food and how I’ve banned Hamburger Helper from the kitchen. We don’t eat it anymore. I used to eat it growing up, then I didn’t, and when I met Tim I started eating it again because he so often cooked for me and he ate it a lot. So anyway. I am trying hard to eat real food, not a bunch of overly processed crap that brings up a mild recollection of what food should have been, if only we cared enough to eat it fresh. So we had cooked together—lasagna from scratch. It was delicious. And even though it had all kinds of cheese in it, which might technically make it not the best choice health-wise, my comment was that at least it was real food, not wood. A lot of processed food, especially diet food, has cellulose in it, which is actually wood pulp. It is filler, it is non-nutritive, non-caloric, and no, it is not food. Technically it isn’t toxic to people, so the FDA says it’s ok to add to stuff we eat, even though it isn’t actually food. The official story is that cellulose, or wood in your food, is a plant fiber and can help reduce caloric content in food. I’m a little creeped out by it anyway.

The conversation goes like this:

Me: “At least there’s no wood in this, even though it might make me fat.”

Him: “I’ve got some wood that will make you fat.” Snigger. (Ooh, a dick joke. I laugh. I love dick jokes.)

Sometimes I wish I could post everything he says on Facebook. Like that website “things my boyfriend says.com”. But I have grandmothers and cousins on there, and I can’t be bothered to edit the audience of my posts that much. So I didn’t post it, but I wanted to. That happens to me all the time. Something happens to me, or someone says something, and I immediately think “I should post that on Facebook.” I feel like there should be a part of me that thinks that is a really stupid idea, and I am vaguely alarmed that this part of me isn’t there.

Tonight, before I started writing, I was hanging out on the guest bed in the office where Tim runs his gaming empire. Right now, he is playing Star Wars: The Old Republic, and he has taken a position on the dark side of the force, which I think is interesting. He always plays good guys, and I think he is getting off on being bad, for once. I say, for once, but really—this guy did more bad things as a kid than I ever imagined doing. He got it out of his system early, though, and pretty much ever since I met him he’s been a complete angel. He keeps telling me he’s really an asshole, but I don’t believe it.  So I’m hanging out, writing a post for my blog, and when I finish he comes over and cuddles with me on the bed. Whenever that happens I strategically position my neck under his hands, like so, and he is supposed to catch the hint. He’s sometimes talented at catching the hint, but if not, like tonight, I might have to say something.

The conversation goes like this:

Me: “Mmm…my neck still hurts. It got worse at work.”

Him: “Oh, it did?”

Me: “Yep. So…do you think you could find it in your heart to rub my neck a little bit?”

Him: “Yeah…I might be able to do that.”

Me: “Oh yeah?”

Him: “Yeah, I might be able to find it in my heart.”

Silence. Neither of us say anything for a moment, and then he says, suddenly,

Him: “OK. I found it.”

Me: “What?”

Him: “I found it.”

Beat.

Him:  “In my heart. It was in there.”

And then I got a neck rub. And I thought to myself “ He’s so cute. I should post this on facebook.”

I didn’t. I totally showed self-control, by not posting it on facebook, and posting it in this article instead.

Apparently,  my default is set to “share.” I didn’t use to be this way.

I blame you, Facebook.

#thatisall

Want more from Jessica? Click here to follow her on twitter!

and check out her blog over yonder!

#NerdsUnite: Inside the marketing mind of @MyMelodie (There are Plenty of Fish at Comic Con)

<editorsnote> Nerds, meet my buddy Melodie. I met her when she invited me to come and crash on her couch for the night in the San Dizzle and she is for reals one of the nicest chicas ever. She's a fellow marketer and wanted to use this space to share her thoughts on life, love, and all things nerd. Hit it Melodie! </editorsnote>

#TalkNerdyToMeLover's @MyMelodie

Any reader of this site knows that nerds dominate the online dating scene. I mean our very own @JenFriel has gone on over 109 okcupid dates in 9 months and even survived getting suspended from OKCupid! Our beautiful @itsmejoolie had a big dating adventure prompted by OKCupid and, we got @casetines , A Dude in the OKC Corral and not to mention the lovely @itsjessweaver met her husband on Plenty of Fish.

Online dating uses math and other nerdy algorithms to match people up, in addition it gives you a chance to screen people based on your criteria and find out how tech and online savvy someone is even before you meet them. Sounds pretty rad to me! Oh and I recently learned Online Dating Is Now Officially A More Popular Way To Meet People Than Bars And Clubs! How does this relate to me you say? Well I’ve got an EPIC online dating story for you. Even more epic than when I found out I was targeted on a craigslist missed connection.

A couple years ago I set up a profile on Plenty of Fish. Not taking it too seriously I didn’t really log on much or go on many dates through that site. I sent a few emails back and forth with one particular dude after he sent me a fairly generic note: “Hi, would you be interested in talking and perhaps sharing date night this Friday. I'm new to this and quite interested in having fun with the new venture! Take care” (Note: Plenty of Fish deletes old messages and I no longer have an account so I can’t actually log on to screen shot messages. The messages also don’t show up in email notifications so you have to actually log in to retrieve them. However, I did copy and paste this text and found it in my email inbox). I don’t normally respond to generic messages but I recall being intrigued by this dude’s profile so I messaged him back asking him more about what he did for a living. He explained to me how he was starting his own business and then proceeded to ask me out again for that Friday night (Our messages were exchanged on a Monday). I intended to reply back but since I wasn’t taking the site too seriously it wasn’t a priority and completely slipped my mind to log back on to set up a date for Friday. At this point I had giving him zero personal information so he had no way of emailing or calling me outside of Plenty of Fish.

Fast Forward to Friday of that same week and Comic Con is in town! Comic Con comes to San Diego every summer. Pretty much the largest nerd/geek fest ever! I’m talking over 130,000 nerds and geeks all in one place! My friend had a 4 day pass and couldn’t make it that Friday so she let me borrow her pass. I took the trolley down to Comic Con and spent about 2 hours walking around the expo hall in what can be described as Halloween on crack. Nerdy costumes galore!

The Gaslamp (Downtown San Diego) is booming during Comic- Con. As soon as I stepped out of the convention center, I see a fairly long line at the Ben and Jerry’s Ice Cream Truck. The line keeps growing.

Dude behind me in line: What’s going on here?
Me: I think they’re giving out free ice cream

We ask the person in front of us and it’s confirmed. Free ice cream! Who could resist that deal? The dude behind me in line strikes up a conversation with me.

Dude: Were you just at Comic-Con?
Me: Yep. My friend let me borrow her pass for the day so I went to check it out for a couple hours. What about you?
Dude: Yep. I was just there too. Same situation, my friend had a 4 day pass but had to work today so she let me borrow her pass. Me: Cool what did you think? Dude: It was crazy I’ve never seen anything like it.
Me: Yeah I’ve been the last few years just for sightseeing. I always love seeing the costumes.
Dude: (Changes subject from Comic Con) So are you from San Diego?
Me: Yeah, I grew up here and have spent most of my life in San Diego. How about you?
Dude: My parents live here and I just got back from traveling and teaching English in Thailand for a year.
Me: That sounds like a cool experience! What do you plan to do next?
Dude: I’m starting my own business in the restaurant industry. We partner with restaurants and offer a wine club people can join so they can avoid corkage fees at restaurants when bringing their own wine.
Me: That company sounds really familiar, I think I’ve met someone from your company before.
Dude: Oh really? I have one other partner but we really haven’t launched yet.
Me: Hm…I swear I’ve talked to someone recently who works for a company that does exactly what you’re describing. Are you in the Chamber of Commerce? Or any other networking groups?
Dude: Nope
Me: Weird, I know I’ve met someone from your company before.

Finally we make it to the front of the line for ice cream! We continue standing on the street and talking while eating our ice cream.

Dude: There is a similar company in Las Vegas that recently ran a Groupon deal. That might be where you heard of it.
Me: Yeah I am on Groupon’s mailing list, must be it So at this point we both convince ourselves that I’ve never heard of his company. Even though I still know that I have. Either that or I was going crazy!
Dude: (As we’re finishing our ice cream) So what are you doing for the rest of the evening?
Me: I was going to grab some food and check out the concert at Petco Park.
Dude: Sounds fun, I’m pretty hungry, ice cream doesn’t cut it. Want to go grab some food at Happy Hour?
Me: Sure! Let’s do it.

We started walking around to find a place for Happy Hour. We see the Palm Restaurant so decide to go there. We sit at the bar, order a couple appetizers, drinks and our random meeting at Comic-Con has basically turned into a date! There is nothing nerdier than meeting at Comic Con, right?! Our conversation continues. We discuss our hobbies, backgrounds, places we’ve traveled to. At this point I’ve probably spent over an hour with the dude I just met in line at an ice cream truck outside of Comic Con. He starts talking about his business again and his dog.

Dude: Do you have any pets?
Me: No. I love animals but don’t have time for pets right now. Do you? Dude: Yeah I have a dog. I really missed him when I was in Thailand.

All of a sudden if dawns on me as to why everything he was telling me sounds oh-so- familiar.

Me: OMG You messaged me on Plenty of Fish! That’s how I know you, that’s how I heard about your company because you described to me in an email what you did for a living and how you’re starting your own business in the restaurant industry!
Dude: Holy Shit! Are you serious?
Me: You started talking about how you missed your dog when you were in Thailand and I remember you saying that in an email to me!
Dude: Wait a minute I totally recognize you now! I remember all our emails.
Me: WHOA I even remember your last email to me was asking me out for Friday which is TODAY! Sorry I never replied, I don’t check that site regularly. But apparently I didn’t need to since we’re still out together on Friday!
Dude: No worries, I understand how it is. Look I’m even wearing the same shirt as my profile photo (Orange shirt)
Me: This is crazy! I can’t believe out of the thousands of people at Comic Con we would end up here together.
Dude: If anything, this gives us a great story to tell.
Me: I’ve had some pretty crazy things happen to me but this tops the list. We’re both still in awe that the universe brought us together in the way that it did through random occurrences that I guess aren’t at all random.

We finish out food/drinks, pay and walk over to Petco Park where there was a concert going on to catch the end of it.

The pseudo date was ending so he asks me how I got downtown.

Me: I took the trolley.
Dude: I’m happy to give you a ride back if you’d like.
Me: Sure I’m parked at the Trolley station.

He drops me off at the Trolley station and we say our goodbyes. We were both still in shock by our meeting. I mean what are the odds of meeting in the midst of 130,000?! Not only just meeting but actually talking, hitting it off, deciding to continue hanging out together that same night?! Now you’re probably wondering what happened after our epic meeting….Oh the suspense…..NOTHING! Absolutely nothing! I believe that everything happens for a reason so the reason for me meeting the dude was for the sole purpose of giving me this amazing story! And it really is true; there are Plenty of Fish at Comic Con!

#thatisall

Click here to follow Melodie on twitter or find her on facebook here and check out her blog over yonder!