#NerdsUnite: The What If? (Part 4 - Tangled)

<editorsnote> Nerds, meet my buddy Jordan. He was one of the first writers here on TNTML and he's a really rad mofo. I forget how we first started talking - but he lives allllllll the way over in Kansas and wants to talk to you about life from his side of the monitor in the keyword of nerd. I only have one more thing left to say ... HIT IT JORDAN!! </editorsnote>

#TalkNerdyToMeLover's @SaintPepsi

So Fake Paddy’s Day had become huge in Manhattan after starting about 5 years prior as a joke. Literally, it was a joke that a radio station had pulled. That joke is now a town tradition. My friend James Coggins had come to town and we had made plans to fully enjoy the day. ALL OF IT! Seriously, you start drinking at 6 in the morning. We had Pancakes and took off to a pony keg race. It’s a weird feeling to be drunk by 8 in the morning but that’s all part of the tradition. After that we tooled around the ville, “Aggieville” for you all out of towners. Then we hit up a few house parties and got some grub. Ophelia had promised she would be there by 10ish. She managed to show up around 3. This should have been another sign, but no one sees signs when they are enamored. Seriously, showing up on time or at least near time is critical especially when it’s planned so far in advance. She had apparently, gotten drunk the previous night and stayed out till 5 in the morning.  So once she arrived, we got ready and took off to the ville. She wanted to find a bar to watch a basketball game in. Keep in mind I am not a sports person. She is huge into sports, so much so she could be an announcer and knows all the players names and their stats. I have lived in a town that lives and breathes football for 12 years and have yet to go to a game or even tailgate. The ville was far gone by the time we got there. Lines out of each bar, I recommended a bar further away from the chaos so we went there. Holding hands might I add, which she instigated. A positive sign to me. I tend to read into things way too much. Still it’s the little things that lead us to understanding. After the game we went out for dinner and then a house party after that. The day had worn on us, so we cut out early from there. We went back to my house and watched Stardust and after that started Tangled. She fell asleep during that movie. So we went to bed cuddled up again.

The next day we grabbed some lunch and finished Tangled. Now if you have seen Tangled you know about the floating lantern scene. During that scene I was singing along and whispered the words into her ear. She turned to me and kissed me. That’s right she kissed me. Ok, veil is down. I wasn’t guessing anymore. The sign I was reading was I dig you a lot and this time it was ON and could be seen from afar without squinting! We took off for the concert that night and it was amazing. We were front row and I was a barrier between her and the floods of fans pressing up behind us. After the show there of course a blizzard. For some reason every time I see Flogging Molly there is a blizzard. We make it home safe and crawl into bed. Things get hot and heavy. My reservations are dismissed and I am full on into her now. She stops me just short of sex and asks if we really should do this. I was for it, but respected her wishes to take things slow. Still just out of a divorce, why rush things. The next morning I was forced to answer that question again. This time I said yes and she said no... Blue balls suck my friends. SO MUCH!! Bid her farewell and as she drove away, I danced around in my driveway. Now only a few days later I make a fatal error. Watch carefully my friends, because here I open up far too fast. Try not to make a similar mistake.  So because I had so many years of history with this one person. I hoped this letter wouldn’t be received badly. I was tired of trying to be casual about my approach and I decided to lay it all on the line. What follows is a slightly abridged versions of a letter I sent to her. Looking back I would call it an over share. However, During her time with me her Ex made it abundantly clear that he was still in the picture and more so that he wanted to stay there. So not to lose her to that man again... I wrote. As a writer I may have written way too much. It’s hard to slow down when you take off down the hill of love:

So as you drive home I am left to think. You asked me what was on my mind earlier and I couldn't formulate it into words. I couldn't do it well in the moment that is. So here it is well thought out and written down. I think about you and I and think about where things go from here. I know you still don't have all the answers. I know you fear hurting me again. Fear that I really don't know what I'd be getting into with you. As you said you are damaged goods. While I can tell you time and time again about how well I could handle that type of thing. Mostly, because all my past relationships have been pretty damaged, I know you still don't think I'm ready to deal with just the full amount of damage you have hidden in you. As we keep walking down this road; I can't help but notice you open up to me more and more each day. You  trust me with details of your life, that may not be things you want to tell me but you know I won't take them in a bad way. You know I'll just take them and accept you. Which is probably just as confusing as to why I would still be willing to risk my heart for you.

I realize your Ex thing is weird and confusing and kind of throwing your heart for a loop too. Here is a man that took everything from you and you spent years wanting to make this work, to help him see his own potential. I can understand why that goal is a hard one to give up on. You spent so much of your hope on it. You know as well as I do, that he's spiraling down a path that no one can save him from and it’s a lesson he needs to learn and sometimes that lesson is learned by having to face the consequences. I know you want to help him, to save him, to keep him from this fate. I know there will always be a part of you that will love him and want to help him. No matter what hell he has or will put you through. Still he is complicating your life over and over again. You were right when you said until he stops interfering in your life, you will never have another real  relationship. I don't know what things he has stirred in your heart when it comes to his new desire to be a better man. To both of us it does feel like a huge angle. It scares me to think it may be a chance you give him. Still I don't think you will. I do believe you are strong willed enough to tell him, “NO” this time. As you said you don't owe him anything. If you do tell him no and he still fights you for this exception, this second (or whatever number) chance then he isn't being a friend and it was an angle. It is a NO he will have to accept. I hope so anyway. Lord knows how far you have let him back into your life already. How many steps he's taken to secure a new spot in your heart, where his old spot was. Knowing he called you twice just to check in on you while you were with me was unnerving in itself. Just being honest there.

Know this, you have me NOW so before risking so much more of your life to make sure he is safe. Risking what we could be (even if that could be was always up in the air), to go back into that dangerous situation. Ophelia I will walk this path with you for now because I know you feel for me. I know there is something there and there could be so much more there. I know you think about it and wonder just what could come of it. Because I know you. You said yourself you see the potential for us. You said I represent a hope and a real meaningful relationship. I'd like to take you up on that meaningful relationship. So know whatever form of damages you have to offer me right now, I'll  take them and I'll take you. I've been a bit damaged myself from failed relationships and having been cheated on in the past. Still, I'll be a man you can brag about to your friends and family. Stories that involve achievement and your man fighting for the things you believe in and want to accomplish in your own life. Never about the let downs and disillusioned impairment of your broken romance. I'll be a stable man in your life. I will cherish you for who you are and what you achieve. I won't take you for granted.

I wasn't ever looking to fix you, but I'll take that journey with you. That journey you need to take to find the answers to the questions you have within your heart. In ten years (6 granted were less than communication) I haven't let you down. In all the time you have known me, I have never given you reason to not trust or doubt me. I have never been less than honest with you. I have no angles, I have no alternate plans. I don't just want to hook up with you and let you go afterwards. I just want you. I want you in my life and to be a part of my life. To walk forward with you, even if you are damaged goods. Still when I said I was guarded and to that I stand firm. I know I cannot win against your EX husband. If you open that door back up in your heart. I am just as doomed to failure as I could be against Johnny Depp. He was already in your heart and to that I stand little chance in competition if you let him back in. I don't want to lose you again, especially to him. I don't want this second chance of maybes and could be's to be fleeting. I would like it to work. I want us to be able to work. So far I have avoided long emails, drawings, poetry anything I felt that might be overwhelming to you. I didn't want to push you away again I hope this doesn't come off as such. This is more so just a statement. You knew this was how I felt already anyway, because you know me just as well as I know you. So far I haven't let you down yet and I don't intend to so. With that being said I'd like to say you should give me a chance to be that man. He has had too many chances already and all I'm asking for is 1. If I fuck it up, then I'll let you go, I'll just be your friend and never again pressure you to be in a relationship with me. Just that first chance to let me show you just what someone who doesn't take a girl for granted can be like. You have already seen the lengths I take for friends to make sure they feel cared for and loved especially in their darkest hours. Imagine how much more I would give for the one I loved. I'd like that person to be you. I am also still ok to take things slow I'm not looking to overcharge your heart. It's been hurt and those wounds are still healing I have no intention of pushing that heart to tearing again.

To walk with you, but walk with a purpose. To walk towards your heart. Give me that chance and I promise I will not disappoint. Give me this one chance and see if a meaningful relationship would be something you would like. Something you can take stock in and feel secure in. Knowing I won't use you, cheat on you, lie to you, or leave you alone wondering if my intentions or sentiments are angles played to gain something. Those are not questions you should ever have to ask or feel in a relationship. I won't give you reason to.

Forever doesn't start today. Right now we focus on today and tomorrow and where that path takes us. It might not be forever, but I promise you it will be an adventure and we shall sail it like pirates and have no regrets. Even if it does end we will still walk away as friends, which we have already tested. So come on this journey with me. We'll throw caution to the wind and rely on each other. Take my hand and let me show you a life lead without doubt. Doubt in yourself or in me. We may have gotten old, but honey we are young souls and I don't want to waste my youth chasing people I have little to nothing in common with hoping one similarity will be enough to secure a bound. We could be brains in a jar and still keep each other entertained :) I know you will want to process this and get back to me. So no worries about a quick response. I would like to know if you have read it. Just because... So maybe a call after. When you said you wanted to write me the rest of your layers of damages. I just wanted you to know where I was at so you could feel safe knowing your letter wouldn't chase me away or scare me into not wanting you anymore. If that was a possibility I would have been gone long ago. Yet here I am still in your arms, lost in your eyes, and keeping that glimmer of hope alive. As dumb as some of my friends say it is to do so. I still believe. I just don't want to give up on us yet. After a weekend as fun as this one how could I. Thank you for being open and honest with me. I am only seeking to do the same with you.

Yeah, that’s a lot for you guys to read, a lot for her to take in. Then again she had asked me what I was thinking and I have this horrible habit now of never lying. It took her a few weeks to respond which was torture for me. What she responded with was a warning. Not a warning to stay the fuck away. A warning of just how many layers of damage there were to her and if I wanted to take that chance to be ready for that. I said I’d chance it, I wasn’t ready for the rodeo that followed.

Next up Part 5 - The Bachelorette

#nerdsunite

click here to follow Jordan on the twittah!

#NerdsUnite: The What If? (Part 2 - Cherry Popped)

<editorsnote> Nerds, meet my buddy Jordan. He was one of the first writers here on TNTML and he's a really rad mofo. I forget how we first started talking - but he lives allllllll the way over in Kansas and wants to talk to you about life from his side of the monitor in the keyword of nerd. I only have one more thing left to say ... HIT IT JORDAN!! </editorsnote>

#TalkNerdyToMeLover's @SaintPepsi

I went through a bit of a dark time, that dark time lead me to be more creative than ever. As dark times tend to do. I discovered my style in art and have since pursued it. I discovered a world of artists willing and able to help push me to be better. Better still I discovered Journalling, thus putting me on course to becoming a writer.

Jen always said writing out everything you feel makes it easier to deal with. There is nothing but truth to that. So long as what’s inside of you, comes out in some fashion it stops eating you from the inside out. Something I never even thought I’d try, let alone become known for.  After the church, in so many words, excommunicated me for living with a girl, mind you still a virgin, just living with a girl is cause for talking. Even though another grant student got knocked up, moved back home and now works in my church. Makes perfect sense.

I went on a bit of a bender ate way too much, started smoking, and drinking more, gained a fair amount of weight. So around 25 I found Ophelia again and invited her to a play my brother was in. She agreed and came up. I have never been horribly tactful so when she found out the rest of my family was there, well... she was a little stunned. She got over that to my knowledge fast and we enjoyed my brother’s play. As she was heading out I stopped her and told her how I had felt about her oh so long ago. I asked on a whim and a prayer if there was any chance of trying, “we” out. She told me she only recently got engaged. That was the end of that I suppose.  Still I pushed on never really finding another girl, till I was 26. There were some here and there, but never one I really synced with. Not till a party at a friend’s house where I met Cherry and yes that’s her real name.

She was black and I had never really thought of myself as being attracted to black girls prior to that, but Cherry was a force of nature. I’ve learned since then to never limit your attraction to anyone based on any appearance. You might just miss the best thing you could ever have in your life.

She quickly swept me away.  We also dated for about a year and things didn’t go so well there. She’s asked me not to talk about it because it was a part of her life that she wasn’t happy about. I respect her wishes and her desire to maintain that privacy. It’s quite a story and if you ever meet me feel free to ask. She taught me a lot about myself, life, love, and how to really live in the moment. She also taught me just where my boundaries are, what I can deal within a relationship, what I need in a relationship, and the type of girl I need to find to make me happy. She opened me up to a new world and for that I will always be grateful to her. She more than any other girl in my life prepared me for the girl I will one day marry. Let’s just say we parted ways, having discovered we were much better as friends than lovers. Ah yes, Lovers. There you have it folks, I lost my V card to a girl named Cherry. Oh, life will you never cease to amaze me.

We parted and it took about 3 months, but we finally found our friendship again. Something, I pushed hard for and you may remember a previous article I wrote on it #FML The End of Friendship. See I made sure we fought to stay friends and because we did she is one of my closest friends now. Still a break up is a break up and my go to depression cure seems to be food. I gained more weight after that and smoked a lot more. Started smoking weed as well but that stuff makes me lethargic and unable to create, so I have never really habitually smoked weed.

A few years after Cherry, while I was 28, I tried out OKcupid for a bit and met Simone.  Hence why I wrote this article OK cupid I concede you work. OK, that didn’t work. She was cool and all, but man, were we different. She was very jealous and I had never dealt with jealousy before. I really couldn’t handle it. In my line of work being an artist and writer I seem to work with a lot of beautiful women. Obviously, I had been writing for TNTML at this point and so much of what I went through was documented. That ended near Christmas time. While dating Simone I ate so much food, possibly a side effect of a repressed depression. I gained something like 50 lbs. I mean I blimped and at my height blimping is a bad idea. Also during that time I had started talking with Ophelia again. She had gotten a divorce. So when Simone and I were over I thought what the Hell, I’ll see if she wants to meet up and talk about times of old. A relationship was at the back of my mind, but I wasn’t going to act on it unless I felt it was a tangible reality. She invited me up for her Birthday party and subsequently New Years. I took a trip to Wichita to see an old friend, a lost love, most importantly the biggest, “what if” in my life.

Part 3 - Falling For The 4th Time (Coming soon!)

#nerdsunite

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#RealDeal: A New Lemon Rule

<editorsnote> Nerds, meet my buddy Jordan. He was one of the first writers here on TNTML and he's a really rad mofo. I forget how we first started talking - but he lives allllllll the way over in Kansas and wants to talk to you about life from his side of the monitor in the keyword of nerd. I only have one more thing left to say ... HIT IT JORDAN!! </editorsnote>

#TalkNerdyToMeLover's @SaintPepsi

I can't remember what season of, “How I Met Your Mother” it was, but Barney suggested a Lemon Rule. So I thought I might attempt to adopt this in a more practical way. You see I am not fond of rushing into relationships. If I am going to commit that kind of time with a girl, I'd like to know that the time will be well spent.

So recently I was going after a girl whom I fancied. She was from what I could gather, pretty normal. That is a break from the type of girl I seemed drawn to. I generally chase girls who are basically impossible. I don't know if I like the challenge, but I just can't help myself. So in a changeup; I went after a girl who wasn't super damaged, who was well adjusted, and seemed on a promising path in life. Things were going pretty well, but I am a slow mover. So when things started getting more serious. I told her, “You know as things progress, if you just don't feel it in your heart or head let me know.” I gave her a Lemon Rule. This caught her off guard at first. I assured her it in no way was me second guessing what I wanted. I still wanted to try a relationship with her. Still, the chances of finding someone suited for you is a hard task indeed. Especially, in this world of some billion people. Are we really so naïve to think that we will be able to find the perfect partner right out of the gates. I'm not saying it doesn't happen, just rarely. So once we find someone we connect with, but we just don't really have our hearts in it: this will save some time.

I think too often you can get caught up in the passion of the moment. Suddenly, the passionate and fun times you are having fall into the categorize section of life. What are we called, what are we doing, or where are we going? We love our titles and defining relationships seems to be the hardest parts of any onset coupling. You know if it isn't Facebook official it isn't official at all... Right? So this was our first distinction. She was about to disappear on a vacation for a few weeks and so I had intended to brooch the topic. She beat me to the punch. She told me, “You are everything I should want in a man. You are kind, compassionate, you treat me so well, and you are a blast to be around.” “Still,” she went on, “I am just not feeling it in my heart, my head says go for it. My heart says no.” Her eyes held concern as she said, “So I think I'll take you up on your Lemon Rule.” I got Lemoned! While it was a little shocking at first. I mean, I really didn't think she would use the Lemon rule and reference it. There it was. I said thank you and told her I was glad she was up front with me. In this one move we saved a friendship and stopped what could have been a long and possibly messy interaction. How many times have you just not been there in the heart or head department, but in not wanting to hurt someone drew the process out too long trying to find the right way to say NO. Sure, it's still a rejection and rejections aren't fun, but we stopped it, with a clean cut. We saved what could have been a week or even a month of awkwardness. Where one person may have been growing more attached, while the other more distant.

This is the most dangerous time of all in a relationships. As one person grows more distant, the other pushes harder to find a way to reconnect. The desire to fix whatever it was that had broken between you becomes forefront and you fight and claw your way to win back their affection. Never knowing it was nothing you did at all. The other person just wasn't feeling it. The power becomes completely one sided. The person looking for escape starts to feel horrible and guilty. Trying to find some way to kindly let you go. Still the guilt keeps them tied into the situation and they begin to feel trapped. Once you feel trapped, resentment begins to fester inside you and you stop caring so much if the other person will hurt.  You just want them to leave. So you cut ties and leave them feeling crushed, alone, and confused. They find themselves lost for confidence and second guessing any new pursuit wondering why the last one went so terribly wrong. All of which could have been avoided if you had just, “Lemoned” them when you first started feeling doubt.

Maybe this could be a real thing and not just the butt of a joke in an episode of a sitcom.  Truly, I think this benefits the guys more than the girls though. Although it really can go both ways. Girls have a tendency to use words that have strings attached to them. Saying things that inadvertently lead guys on; while thinking the whole time that they made themselves abundantly clear on not wanting to be with him. Let’s face it guys suck at taking hints. The lemon rule stops that and leaves it with an abrupt NO! Clear and concise. No more do you have that friend that you had to shoot down: lurking in the background, mean mugging any guy who gave you the eye, and drunk dialing you for a second chance. You are free and so is he. So take a lesson from the man who champions awesome. Use the Lemon Rule! Save yourself some time and heart ache. As we all know time steals everything and if you aren't on the path you need to be, wasting time on the wrong road only means it takes that much longer to backtrack and get on the right path. A path that will be LEGAN... wait for it … DARY!!

#nerdsunite

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Pansexuality: A #Nerd's Eye View

<editorsnote> This is really really really interesting to me ... so, a week and some change ago I talked to this dude on twitter who had in his bio that he was pansexual. Never having heard the term before I asked him what it was and he tweeted me back explaining it. I was shocked, I'm 27 years old and talk about sex morning noon and night - how have I not heard of this? Well ... coincidentally enough, our very own @SaintPepsi also just wrote a post on it breaking it all down for us. I only have one more thing left to say ... HIT IT JORDAN!!! </editorsnote>

#TalkNerdyToMeLover's @SaintPepsi

Two of the girls I have pursued in this life of mine, have told me that they are pan-sexual. In both cases I was a little thrown off guard. I mean I’ve heard a great many definitions of sexuality. Tran-sexual, Bi-sexual, Homosexual, and Heterosexual. All of which are pretty straight forward. Still to hear someone say pan-sexual; well that brings to light a whole new form of sexuality.

To sum it up, it was at long last finally defined to me, “As someone that sees only the person and loves them for that. Without age, beauty, sex, or anything being a limitation.” Truly, you can fall for just about anything. To say you are pan-sexual is to say that you have no idea where your desire lays but you know that when you feel it it could be for anyone.

I suppose this is good for a guy like me. I can be pretty freakish, a bit out there, outrageous, way too honest, and it certainly helps with my age. It strips a person down to just the soul and in that lays what the pan-sexual is looking for. Still I know that there are many other deciding factors to consider. Just because you say you are pan-sexual, doesn’t mean you are able to look at any person and strip them down to just the soul. Who we are and what we do is what shapes us into what we are. So what we are is what anyone falls for. Be it a prevalence of good looks, a pleasant disposition, or availability emotionally. You cannot allow yourself to just fall for someone without considering what all there is on the outside that made that soul shine to you.

So when the last girl I pursued had issue with my age, (Mind you I am 30 and she was 21) I wanted to object based on her self proclaimed pan-sexual status. Truly, a few years difference would not be such a deciding factor as to limit yourself from an entire subset of viable candidates. However, I did not argue because to argue that would be nothing less than dismantling. No matter what form of sexuality you claim; you can never know for sure when you will be swept off your feet or by whom. You can only establish a criteria for what you do find enthralling in another individual. After that you have a decent number of people you can allow to get closer to you. That does not however, rule out the rest of the people from being thrown into your line of sight; like a deer in headlights. So personally, I feel we ought to do away with all terms of sexuality. You are who you are and whom you are attracted to is your own business.

In fact! I feel that it is because we demanded to label all aspects of just how to clarify our sexuality that we have drawn attention from unwanted hateful groups. You need not scream to the world that you are gay, it doesn’t matter. In the end who you are is a part of you and people will either accept that or they won’t. You will rarely change a persons mind as far as sexuality goes. On that note; the same goes for religions, politics and sports for that matter. Had people not demanded recognition for their cluster of like minded individuals they may never have had to deal with now instituted laws against their politically assumed depraved behavior. If the church you go too doesn’t want to marry you because you are a non-contemporary couple then find a church or city hall that will. I acknowledge it isn't fair that states have laws forbidding such relations. You are seeking, nay demanding acceptance from people whose minds are made up already. To change that won't be a matter of appealing to the heart, but more so waiting for a generation of bigoted and powerful people to be replaced by more understanding and tolerant ones. It is your acceptance of the natural feelings you feel that will resonate with those that do care about you. Not the screams of ignorance from groups demanding the end of your affections.

It is not our job to convince people to accept us for who we are. Take what people hate most about you or who you are and wear it like armor and no one can use it against you. It is up to everyone else to make up their own minds in that area. So sure, I believe that people are all the forms of sexuality I listed above. What I don’t believe: is that any matter of chants, signs, parades, or petitions will ever change the minds of anyone whom is already firm in their beliefs. The roots of hatred and ignorance grow deeper than most and to uproot those in power who legislate this institutionalized hatred will most likely result in waiting for them to be moved out of office. You can't just pull up a tree and as much as we would like to think a group of people could it will still take way more effort than you might want to exert for the less than wonderful payoff.  The only true power of the people is to act in response to who you are, no matter whom you are attracted to. It is not the world you must keep happy, but yourself. How you achieve that happiness is up to you as well.

So to spin this wild tangent back around to pan-sexuality let me just say this and it’s the same thing I tell my bisexual friends. If you don’t know what or whom you are looking for don’t bother labeling yourself until you settle down and know for sure. Be that heterosexual, Bi-sexual, Homosexual, or even Pan-sexual. Until then you can rest easy knowing we are all pan-sexual. Some of us just refuse to accept that as the path we find ourselves traveling on.

#thatisall

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#Nerdy Thoughts on E Cigarettes

#TalkNerdyToMeLover's @SaintPepsi

I have been smoking for about 3 years now. I started as a way to alleviate anal fissures. I know what an embarrassing thing to post on the internet. That's besides the point. I really enjoy smoking. It is relaxing and just a great way to meet people and talk with them. Hell, I even wrote a poem about how much I love it.

That aside way back like 5 months ago... No surely not, No one was alive then!!!! @kristi_gail and I decided to stop smoking together. We were keeping each other to task on twitter, and we were both doing pretty well. I hadn't smoked in like 2 weeks. She, however, lost the battle- I don't blame her. So I was like sweet I can smoke again. I mean it's not fair for one of us to win and not the other, this isn't a race. I was all about starting again, when I asked the girl I was seeing about her feelings on smokers. She said she was against it. Nail in the proverbial coffin if you will. I stayed smokeless. We dated for around about three months and so I was smoke free that whole time.

Still, I missed that feeling, the camaraderie of smokers ... I especially missed going outside to smoke. Seemed like I was always inside sitting on my ass and never went outside anymore. Smoking is a pretty good reason to I guess. So I looked into the E-cigarette. One in particular BLU Cigs. A sleek design and a great advertising campaign totally sold me on it. They advertised on porn sites. Not to mention you could smoke them inside places that had banned smoking. Since all of Kansas had banned smoking inside, I figured what the Hell I would give it a try -you know to keep me smoke free and all.

I got a starter kit which was 60 dollars. I know that sounds extreme for smokes, but when you figure one of these cartridges was a whole pack and it came with about 20 cartridges well not a bad deal. Especially, since the brand of cigarette I smoked was American Spirit the most delicious and expensive smoke you can buy. A pack can run you about 6 bucks or more. I totaled it up and yeah it was pretty cheap.

So, I get this thing in the mail and it all runs off of USB stuff; with one wall outlet charger. Yay tech smoking! It really is the cigarette of the future. Each cartridge was flavored and there was a wide assortment you could use from vanilla, cherry, all the way to normal cigarette flavor. I went for vanilla first. It was amazing and the vapor looked like smoke. No tar and no smoke really. Its a lot more healthy from the assumption you aren't breathing in smoke or tar to you lungs. That's a plus for the medical side of these little bastards. Obviously, because this is a technology thing it weighs more than a normal smoke. It's not a bad weight but you certainly can't keep it in your mouth without locking it into place with your teeth. That's kind of annoying. Still a minor inconvenience because it really doesn't weight that much. Obviously, without the mass amount of crap you are inhaling it's just the nicotine. These are a lot better for you. So this seems like the perfect trade off for a cigarette right? Well for the most part it is, if you are looking to quit smoking. If you aren't they are actually a little frustrating. For smokers that burning feeling in your lungs is familiar. You don't feel that with a BLU. You also have no idea when to stop smoking one. With cigarettes there is a clear ending to it. Obviously, you run out of a cigarette. Each of these cartridges is a damn near a full pack of cigarettes and they last forever. It's not something you can go, “Oh done with this.” and flick it away into oblivion. Also you have to recharge it with the pack itself which is cool from a tech stand point but still not as convenient as just pulling out a new cigarette. 

In summary, I say these are amazing for people who are quitting smoking. By all means go out and get a pack and ween yourself off cigarettes. They are a perfect replacement.  So much better than that damn patch and way better than that shitty gum. If you're not trying to quit they are a much healthier version of the cigarette and hell they are even nerd sheik. So why not rock them with your glasses on and keep an extra one in your pocket protector. For now I really like knowing when my cigarette is finished and that burning feeling. I know I'm killing myself but, there's just something about a real cigarette. However, as soon as I decide to quit again these are the route I'm taking. 

#nerdsunite