#NerdsUnite: Geographically Desirable Dating Apps

#TalkNerdyToMeLover's Marcela De Vivo

Dating and finding romantic connections online is now much more accessible and private thanks to smartphones. There are now a whole host of apps that are available for that specific purpose, allowing us nearly complete privacy and jurisdiction while we’re browsing profiles and striking up conversations.

Choosing one will involve a bit of trial and error, and there are several factors to consider such as how old you are and where you’re located geographically. Certain apps are more popular for different areas and age groups, so you’ll want to do some digging around to figure what works best for you.

To help narrow it down, here are some of the more widely used and popular dating apps available.

1. Tinder

Tinder’s process on how you meet people gives it an interesting twist to other dating apps. The app will sync with your Facebook page and will show you someone nearby that you share interests with, at which point you’ll have the opportunity to anonymously like that person, or move on. If you like a person, they won’t know it, however if they happen to like you as well, then the app will notify you of a match and allow the two of you to chat..

Dare I say, “dating” has never been easier.

2. Hinge

Hinge is pretty popular in the DC area, but its quickly expanding to other areas and gaining more users. Like Tinder it syncs to your Facebook page but instead of basing your selection on your location the app allows you to browse and rate friends of your Facebook friends who you are not friends with. The idea is that you rate someone high and if they return the favor, then the app’s work is done. This app is going to be more appealing to people in their mid-20s, who are already the heavy Facebook users.

3. Blendr

Blendr has over 150 million users and has been featured as one of the Apple staff’s favorite dating apps. The app allows you to browse singles that are nearby or you can specify a search using different parameters. In app purchases are available in the form of credits, but the app itself is free and provides most of its functionality without having to buy credits. You can search for people based on mutual interest, start chatting and then let nature take its course.

4. MeetMoi

MeetMoi is similar to Hinge, but with a focus on proximity instead of Facebook friends. Similar to the more popular Tinder, the app will find people who are close to you in terms of physical distance (usually a few miles depending on where you live) and will then give you the opportunity to have the app introduce you to the person. If you both approve, the chat is free and the rest is history.

5. eHarmony

This is by far the more popular and most widely known online dating method available. Like the website, you can review one match for free, after which you’ll be asked to make an in-app purchase to continue use. Having to pay is one downside, but the age groups are highly varied and the app does a good job of matching you based on deeper character qualities.

#nerdsunite

Marcela De Vivo is a freelance writer from Los Angeles who specializes in social networking and health & wellness. Her writing covers everything from the latest social media trends to nutrition, fitness, dating, and skin care. 

#NerdsUnite: Dating + Texting =M0dern Luv

<editorsnote> Jordan is a dating coach. But not like "a" dating coach ... lemme rephrase that, he is THE dating coach. He has a show on SiriusXM called "Game On" and he's a super smarty pants when it comes to examining social dynamics. No ... like for real. </editorsnote>

#TalkNerdyToMeLover's Jordan Harbinger

There is fine thread connecting dating and texting. While text messaging is far less invasive than a phone call, sending a text that comes across the wrong way can be like leaving a creepy message on a girl’s voicemail. And going from getting her number to getting the date can be near impossible if you are sending the wrong signals through your texts.

Although we can make plans with our buddies via texts without much issue, when texting begins to cross into the boundaries of attraction and dating, there are a few limits to how far one can (or should) go.

When you get a girl’s number, you should be texting her soon afterwards to set up a date. After the date you might text her to let her know you had fun and want to see her again sometime. Sometime before your next face to face encounter, you’ll most likely send her a flirty, fun message and banter back and forth over until you set up another meeting.

The right thing to do is send a light and playful reminder every couple of days. Too often will make you seem needy, not often enough and she’ll forget the positive impression you made on her.

Sadly many guys, especially younger guys, have fallen into an addictive pattern when it comes to texting. They’ve become slaves to the thrill of texting people; they text in the morning, at work, at night, when they’re out with the guys, when they’re in bed, and when they’re in a movie.

These guys are what we call texturbators. Texturbators text constantly just for the thrill of it – for no meaningful reason except the validation they get when she texts back. Unfortunately, just because she is writing back does not mean the relationship is moving forward. Texting is a tool, albeit a powerful one, that must be used with a purpose in mind. The texturbator will remain in a texting conversation longer than they should because he has no purpose in the conversation.

Don’t be a texturbator.

When you text someone, you usually don’t get an immediate response. There is no eye contact or body language to decipher, and although this may seem annoying, it’s really a gift because it means you can take your time responding. In real life you’re only as fast as your wit. With text, you can take a while to think of the perfect response each time.

How often have you walked away from a conversation with an attractive woman only to have the perfect thing to say come to mind right afterward? Why couldn’t it have come to you when you needed it? Texting will directly help you to develop the skill of quick wit and banter necessary for flirting.

Another huge benefit of texting is that it is far less invasive than a phone call would be.  With a text you get direct access to her. All she needs to do is open her phone. This means you are far more likely to get a response than if you call because she could be in a place where she can’t talk.

Another advantage of texting is that she is much more likely to say what is on her mind because you aren’t face to face. The lack of social pressure in texting can be particularly useful when it comes to creating a sexual state with her.

Finally, text messaging allows you to work smarter, not harder. You can flirt with several girls at once from just about anywhere.

Texting is no doubt one of the most powerful and versatile tools for building and maintaining attraction with a woman. But sometimes it can lead to becoming a texturbator. Overtexting is a dangerous game. Persistent text messages communicate neediness and a scarcity mentality. Neediness is communicated through a need for her approval and response. Texting too much shows attention-seeking behavior.

“She didn’t text me back!”

“What should I do? She is ignoring me!”

You should be looking at this situation with an abundance mentality, not a scarcity mentality. Abundance says, “She didn’t text me back but it’s ok, there are plenty of other fish out there.” Scarcity says, “Oh no, I did something wrong, I better send a few more texts to make myself look cool again.”

Another thing low-value guys do is respond immediately every time. Taking some time to respond communicates that you have a life and other things going on. She is not the most important thing in your life. If you are always available and respond immediately or are continually texting her throughout your day, she will wonder why you don’t have anything else keeping you busy. I don’t mean purposely wait a few hours to text back; I mean don’t drop everything to check your phone when it vibrates.

Think about this: if you already have a life full of amazingly beautiful women, would you really care if an interaction with a new one failed? No! You have enough going on in your life that it’s okay if one interaction doesn’t work out!

You must release your attachment to the outcome. High-value men like you should be screening low-value people out, not hanging on to whatever comes your way.

These behaviors are a guaranteed way to kill attraction. Being a texturbator and being at the beck and call of your phone does not show others the value you have, nor the quality of person you are. If you want to know more about texting, head over to howtotextgirls.com and check it out. We’ve got the textbook for sale there as well, which will give you tons of help.

#nerdsunite

Jordan Harbinger is a Wall Street lawyer turned Social Dynamics expert and coach.  He is the owner and co-founder of The Art of Charm, a dating and relationships coaching company.  If you dig this and want to learn more from Jordan and The Art of Charm team, then visit http://www.theartofcharm.com.  You can also interact with Jordan on Facebook.

#NerdsUnite: Confessions of a Videogame Journalist (Crime has Never Looked So Good)

<editorsnote> Nerds, meet my buddy John. We started talking on the twitter not too long ago, and then he reached out and asked if he could write for us regarding his journey through the nerdy realm. I was all DUDDEEE!! That's so raaaddd!! And now, here we are. Like right now, in real time, this is happening. Pretty cool huh? HIT IT JOHN!!! </editorsnote> 

#TalkNerdyToMeLover's @JohnSollitto

So the new Grand Theft Auto V trailers were released. 

I immediately hijacked a computer to watch them, and I was rewarded with wonderful sights and cursing the likes of which I had missed since GTA IV and it’s expansion games. 

There seems to be such an increase in quality of graphics from Rockstar, the company that makes the GTA games, that honestly I anticipate them being the only company to create hyper-realistic games and make them good. 

This is not to say that other games with superb graphics aren’t good games. The Gears of War franchise is definitely a contender though it is not my favorite franchise. I can appreciate that it is wildly successful and pretty at times. Then there's Crysis as well.

Rockstar seems to find their way into creating quality images and visuals, while simultaneously not losing quality. Many companies tend to put so much effort in their visuals that they tend to forget the gameplay is the most important part. 

If you look at the progression of games for this company from the GTA franchise and on, you’ll see a trend of better and better quality as it ends at GTA: San Andreas, and GTA IV. Then you have the jump to Red Dead Redemption that is hailed as one of the most beautiful games ever created, though not as realistic looking as Crysis, but also one of the best western games ever made. Then the visual giant L.A. Noire which took facial software to a new level as well as textures and realism. 

While the company that handled the revolutionary facial graphics software for L.A. Noire has been shut down, we are still treated to this feast for the eyes. Remember, these are not pre-rendered images, these are actual game graphics. Take a look: 

OHMYGODIWANTTHEGAMESRIGHTNOW. 

Beauty aside, I’m getting a distinct Breaking Bad and Weeds type of vibe from all the trailers. Rockstar has been known for their topical, often poignant, story-lines that impress us time and time again. 

I wonder why they are one of the few companies that seems to understand the marriage between visuals and storytelling. 

Praise aside, the company has been known utilize the “If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it” motto when making their games. The lengthy car-drive conversations from point A to point B are one thing we could do without in a Rockstar game. Not to mention the delivery and escort missions. But aside from those, the general immersion and detail put into their games often overtake the monotony for a few moments for us to truly enjoy the game. 

Hopefully, they will have learned their lesson and taken out the things that made the franchise a little weak in the gameplay department. If they do, we may already be looking at a contender for Game of the Year. 

The combination of three stories is also unique to this game. While we saw three protagonists weave in and out in GTA IV, The Lost and the Damned, and The Ballad of Gay Tony; this seems to bring them all together in a more cohesive fashion. 

Am I looking forward to this game? Yes. Will I be super harsh on it if it isn’t good? Of course. Do I think it won’t be good? No, but I do think I will see some of the same problems that I have seen in GTA games throughout the years. Will that hurt the score? It would take it to an 8 or 9 from a 10 in my opinion, but I would still love it.

#nerdsunite

Want more from John? Click here to follow him on the twitter!

Check out his gaming site too!

Words of Wisdom with @Jesus_M_Christ

#RealDeal: Living on both ends of the spectrum (Learning To Cope)

<editorsnote> Nerds, meet my buddy Brandon. We started talking on the Facebook not too long ago, and lemme tell you, this guy can throw in quite the few kneeslappers in his emails. Yep, see Brandon is a comedian who is here today to tell you the real deal on what it's like being "on the circuit." I only have one more thing left to say ... HIT IT BRANDON!!! </editorsnote>

#TalkNerdyToMeLover's @BrandonComedy

The most common response to revealing my bipolar disorder to “the world” has been from people who don’t understand mental illness. People who haven’t encountered enough people struggling with their sense of identity, and sanity. These people say things like “just think happy thoughts” or “you should just go out more.” I wish I could take such advice (and that such advice worked on any practical level, beyond letting the speaker feel good about themselves), instead I’ve always coped in much more damaging ways.

Booze.

Drugs.

Women.

These were my best coping mechanisms. Things I could turn to, to always get me out of a negative headspace. Also, these are notoriously bad coping mechanisms. I’ve been working at finding better ways to deal with my headspace, and in hanging out and talking to a number of awesome people I think I’ve found a solution that works for me. But before I get to that, let’s go over why the 3 above solutions only made my life (and thus emotional state worse).

Booze is by far the most abundant on this list, and is sort of a gateway to the other three. As a comic booze is almost ubiquitous. It is present as a form of payment, as a confidence booster, a way to get over a bad set, and as a constant excuse for poor performance “It’s not my fault man, I just got too drunk. Usually I kill” or some variation is uttered at every show. I like drinking, it’s fun and I love the feeling of being drunk. But when I drink to avoid dealing with complex emotions, I’m really just changing out one problem for an entirely different one. To avoid becoming dependent on alcohol I’ve limited my drinking to twice a week, and I’ve tried to make it so that both of those occasions fall when I’m in the company of a friend.

I haven’t had a problem with drugs in years, but I did in the past. Drugs are a dark part of my life that I don’t really talk about, but suffice to say other than the occasional hit or two of weed I try to avoid drugs entirely. Ordinarily I wouldn’t even address the topic of drug abuse, because that part of my life is so far behind me BUT lately I’ve had some of the old cravings and I’ve been around people who I knew could get me whatever I wanted. It’s a hard road to travel, wanting something you know almost ruined your life once but I think I’ve remained strong in abstaining. I think I learned early enough that drugs would destroy me if I let them. Some people can live their lives and be functional while on drugs. I wish I could, but I think knowing that I can’t was a revelatory moment for me.

Last night (when this was written) I went to drinks with Letter Girl, and she pointed out (as The Best Friend had pointed out two days prior) that the reason I attract “crazy girls” is because I don’t ever say no. Oh I’ll imply a no, but I’m so afraid of closing any door forever, I leave hope in the hearts misguided women. I had a girl that after a mediocre blow job (during which I had my laptop on my chest and was tweeting the encounter to the universe) tell me her daughter needed a strong father figure like me in her life. Instead of just saying outright that wasn’t a role I was into (although I did kind of say that in the beginning), I kind of just toyed with her and let her think that there was a chance we’d get together. I hate being strung along and it was a moment of both weakness and douchebaggery that made me string this poor girl along. To prevent this from happening in the future I’ve begun to state my intentions more clearly, and explained to some people that we simply don’t need to be in each other’s lives. It’s hard for me to definitively kick anyone out of my life, but I am doing it more and more. While it does hurt temporarily, it feels so much better to just be honest. Honesty is awesome.

Those were my solutions, so naturally I was just in a cycle of creating more problems, but with the help of my friends (Letter Girl in particular has been indispensable as a “victim” of mental illness herself*) I’ve found a way better solution than all of the above. I fall in love with myself every day. It sounds insane, but I’m doing a number of things correctly and I’ve started celebrating those more and not focusing on the things I get wrong. I’m going to get stuff wrong, I’m going to do things badly sometimes, but I also need to recognize that I’m incredible and I’m doing a lot of things well.

*She handles it way better than I do!

#nerdsunite

click here to follow Brandon on twitter & don't miss his blog over yonder!