#NerdsUnite: Comfort zone be gone!

<editorsnote> Nerds, meet my buddy Chelsea. She's a newbie to our loverly state of California and is currently trying to find her own voice and find her own way. Gosh, aren't we all??? She's here today to talk about her journey in life, love, and all things nerd.  I only have one more thing left to say ... HIT IT CHELSEA!!</editorsnote>

#TalkNerdyToMeLover's @chelofthesea

Monday night, 9:48 pm and here I am: Pajamas on, blanket wrapped around me, staring at my bright screen, and listening to my roommates chat in the kitchen. Tonight we had plans to go see an outdoor screening of ET in Pasadena. A friend I never make enough time for and I made these plans over a month ago, only to realize an hour before show time that the website we’d been looking at was from a year ago. So, there went my plans and our group quickly dissipated. The new couple drove off; soaking in the last few hours of sun, getting to know each other in the way you only can with butterflies in your tummy. The others ran errands, met up with friends.

But what did I do you ask? I pulled out my laptop and chatted with one of my best friends who is about to embark on the greatest adventure of her life, who is growing up to be the woman she wants to be. Then my phone rang, another best friend (the sister of the adventurer) who reached a big milestone in her career tonight. At this moment, I cried and I can’t exactly explain why. My emotions have been running at an all-time high and I haven’t necessarily stopped to process them. But what I realized was – I hadn’t taken time to talk to those two people, two of my favorites on this planet, in an absurdly long amount of time.

If you asked me one year ago how I would have felt to be home alone on a Monday night, I would have been pissed. Chelsea one year ago wanted nothing more than plans, and frequent ones at that. She was so tired of sitting at home, reading, lurking, and chatting with friends back home. All she wanted was to be dating and busy and have friends and things to do. Fast forward to Chelsea today and ask her how she felt about today’s lazy, lonely Monday? Relieved.

My life is picking up. I find myself with plans more often that I find myself without. I realize that what you put into the universe eventually will make its way back around. So, by being more confident and more open about myself, I find that people want to spend time with me. Hanging out with the TNTML crew has been awesome. Seriously, such a wonderful group of people who are just accepting and always down for a good time. I’ve also been going out, finding things to do, and making it happen. No more sitting around waiting for shit to come to me.

But what’s weird is I now find that I’m not giving myself enough time to process. As an extrovert, I definitely get my energy from others. I’ve always been one to spend nearly all my free time with my best friends, with the people who know everything about me. But what I’m realizing is that after 6 months of being a forced introvert (Ugh, I’m so dramatic, I had things to do and I had friends. I just spent more time at home than I did before) I’ve learned I need more time to process my experiences -- alone.

So here I am asking myself, why? Is there a reason I continue to overbook myself, even when I know I need a few hours to write words that nobody gets to read? Is there a reason I say yes to dates I know I will go on and wish the whole time I was home cleaning my room? Well, the answer I’ve come up with is that I don’t want to say no to people for free it means they won’t ask me again. It’s not an insecurity thing, I don’t think. It’s more of the kind of thing where I am actively trying to make friendships and have made the decision to push myself out of my comfort zone – so I say yes to almost everything. I try to fill my days and nights for fear of falling in my rut again. But another reason why? Because I’m having fun. This weekend I gave up ALL of my alone time. (And if I’ve learned anything in the last year, it’s that I truly enjoy having some alone time. So to give it up to someone means quite a bit but that’s another story for another time.)

All of that being said, I don’t think I should slow down. I function best when I’m busy… At work, when I have crazy deadlines and intense to-do lists I need to blow through, my quality of work increases drastically. I’m a multi-tasker through and through. Adding events to my calendar and keeping track of my life that way brings me more joy than I should admit. What can I say? I’m a nerd. But I do think what I’ve learned from my Monday is that the best part of being so busy is that I’m never sad when I’m left alone with nothing to do. Instead I’m thankful! If you’re bored it’s because you’re choosing to let yourself be that way and there’s nothing wrong with that. Yes, I need to take some time to process and make more time for writing, as I talked about last week. But am I going to give up my 2 am’s for a few extra hours of sleep? Or risk the chance of meeting someone amazing for the chance to catch up on a TV show? Not any time soon! Life is meant for living.

#nerdsunite

click here to follow Chelsea on twitter!

#NerdsUnite: Giving In (Part 2)

<editorsnote> Nerds, meet my buddy Eric. He is a MAASSTTEERRR social dynamics expert that will be talking about his experiences in the field from both an expert, and experience perspective. He's not just saying "this is how to get the girl" he's here to share his actual life stories and lessons learned from them. I only have one more thing left to say ... HIT IT ERIC !!</editorsnote>

#TalkNerdyToMeLover's @Redolpho

When I decided that I was going to start blogging on a more vulnerable level it was on a search for meaning. I asked Jen to push me and she did. In a recent post I let go completely and revealed a deep secret that was eating me inside. I had been faking smiles and pretending to be happy. There were days when I thought I actually was, but this deep sadness loomed beneath the surface and built until I was at a point of all time low. In a TED Talk that I watched recently about suicide the closing line is “talk about it, get help, it’s a conversation worth having.” I couldn’t agree more. After letting go and talking about it my life has changed in so many significant ways already. I said that I was going to start going on adventures again and I did.

Literally the day after I wrote about how I was feeling my friend texted me. She said that she was having an insanely hard time because a recent ex was getting married that day. She needed a friend and I needed an adventure. So last minute I booked an Amtrak ticket to San Clemente where she was staying. For the first time in a long time I woke up early and excited about my day. At 6 a.m. I started working to get a head start and then I boarded a train. I was smiling the whole way to Union Station to catch the Amtrak.

One of the ways that I knew that I was already making so much progress was that my creative side was surfacing again. I was taking pictures and it was hard not to as the Surfliner cruised down the southern California coast. 

I arrived and made my way to a café to get as much work done as possible before we met. I wanted to have some beach with her, I knew she had a lot to say and so did I. As we sat I let go again. Without any shame I divulged everything that I had been experiencing while trying to hold back the tears as I relived it. Again I felt it pass behind me even further and a deeper sense of relief filled me. With the heavy conversations behind us we started to enjoy the beautiful day that was before us. 

As I sat there on the beach I was reflecting on the awesomeness that was Jen and I’s first social dynamics workshop. I thought about the heart felt thank-you’s I received from the guys and I knew that I had found something truly special. I had found that beautiful thing that I loved, that I’m great at and that helps others on a deep and profound level. I had been looking for it for so long and it was right in front of my face.

Then my phone vibrated and when I unlocked it I found the first of many texts, tweets and emails that I would receive that day. My post had gone live on TNTML and I was without words, one after another the support poured in. Some people I had met and some I hadn’t but all thanking me for sharing, telling me they were proud and telling me I had done the right thing. I tried to thank people as best I could but there are no words that would suffice. With that being said I am going to try one more time.

To everyone that wrote to me, your kind words and support have filled me with a renewed spirit, the meaning I have been searching for is in you. I know this is just the beginning of a long road but I feel a sense of strength because of you. As I embark on this next chapter of my life things will no doubt get difficult. This time I know that I’ll never have to suffer in silence again because all I have to do is ask and you’ll be there for me. I humbly thank you and although words will never be enough my actions may suffice so know that I am here for you as well.

I was thinking about all of you as I took this picture of the train tracks disappearing down the coast. It made me think of the unknown future that was ahead and the beauty of the journey. I know this is just the surface; I know there is more to gain and more to give. I’m optimistic, I’m excited, and most of all I’m thankful.

#thatisall

If you’d like to share your stories please feel free to tweet me at @redolpho or email me at eric dot rudolph dot carrillo at gmail dot com

Join Eric and Jen for their social dynamics workshop in LA on August 18th!

Click here for more info

#NerdsUnite: Play on playa! (Breaking down the world of sports so you don't have to!)

<editorsnote> Nerds, meet my buddy Derek - I met him when I was professor for a day at CSF. Really rad dude, and he wants to come on board to help explain to us nerdy folk the wild world of sports. Smart dude, and knows his shizzy shiznat. I only have one more thing left to say ... HIT IT DEREK!!! </editorsnote>

#TalkNerdyToMeLover's @DerekJ_AllDay

Hola amigos! Boy, I have been living it up in Arrowhead since the house my parents bought has gotten so close to completion. This is my second weekend in a row hanging up there, and this time I got to go with my gf and her awesome puppy named Benjamin Harold Finch Linus (If anyone gets the reference, tweet me DerekJ_AllDay). I bring this up because we got lost on our way home and our 9pm arrival turned into an 11:30 arrival really fast. My gf (I love her) and I woke up at 5:30am to go fishing and besides a nap I have been running on fumes since 7. So, this weeks post will be shorter than normal, but it is also going to give me a chance to break down a couple of sports stories that should be shared.

There was some sad baseball news that broke on Monday, 92 year old Johnny Pesky has passed away. He is primarily know for his time playing for the Red Sox and having the right field foul pole in Fenway Park named after him. Pesky's pole was legendary to me as a kid before I even knew who Johnny Pesky was. Pesky was primarily a contact hitter who had little power, only hitting 17 home runs during his career. Legend has it, that Pesky won a game in 1948 for the Red Sox by hitting a home run that barely snuck inside that short right field porch that is so legendary in baseball lore. Interestingly enough, research has shown that Pesky never won a game for the Red Sox by hitting a home run like the one described in the story. So, we sit here wondering...why would someone make that up? Or did it really happen and become lost in history over time? Nobody knows.

Like many athletes of the time, Johnny Pesky missed the 1943-1945 seasons because of his time spent fighting for the US in WWII. The selflessness of this man, and many men at that time can never be forgotten. After his career as a baseball player ended, Pesky stayed around the Sox organization as a manager from '63-'64 and then coached or helped the Sox players in any way he could until the day he died. This was a man who loved the game and respected a lot more than himself, and the two paragraphs I wrote talking about him probably isn't enough to honor him.

In Olympic news, there is no surprise here but the USA mens basketball team took home the gold medal over the weekend after beating Spain in a close game 107-100. USA has proved that they are the best once again, but there is also a lot of evidence suggesting that the rest of the world is catching up with them. Even more evidence is present suggesting that the '92 USA Dream Team would wipe the floor with the '12 USA team. Disagree? Let me know why on twitter @DerekJ_AllDay.

I am still trying to map out my fantasy football post, but I will probably do a two part post with part one of my fantasy football advice being next week. Thanks for the time guys!

#nerdsunite

Click here to follow Derek on Twitter!

#NerdsUnite: The Ramblings of a Raconteuse (Surviving the Cut)

<editorsnote> Nerds, meet my buddy Helenna. We met on twitter not too long ao, and she's totes mcgotes one rad chiquita banana with a flare for all things flair! That's right, Helenna here is what we call an artsy fartsy nerd. She's a poet, into all things dramatic arts, and she's going to come on board to write each week about her love of said drama. Well not like actual drama drama, like some cat fight shit - but you get the idea. I only have one thing left to say ... HIT IT HELENNA!!! </editorsnote>

#TalkNerdyToMeLover's @Helslevy

It’s been one hundred and four days since I began “Project Helenna” (For reference on what this project is: Part One, Part Two, Recap One “Feelin’ Sexy” and Recap Two “I Am Stoked!”), so I thought it was time for an update on how things are going.

When I started this project it was all about turning my focus from producing my own work, back to the craft of acting, and to create a “holistically healthy Helenna: mentally, physically, and spiritually, to create the best actor I can be and my best self.” 

So how am I doing so far?  Let’s go point by point:

1) Optimum Health and Fitness

While I’m not doing a totally intense workout plan like “Insanity” or something, over the past 104 days I have gone to the gym an average of five days a week doing about 30 – 60 minutes of cardio each time, or I’ll go for a 30 min run outdoors.  My strength training regimen however needs improvement.  I’ll have a week where I’ll do my full program 2 or 3 times a week, and then weeks where I won’t do any strength training at all.  Sometimes it’s because i run out of time in my day and all I can get in is cardio, and other times I’m just being lazy.  Going into day 105 I need to be a lot more diligent about this because when I do stay on the strength training program I definitely see a difference, and I need to keep motivated to stay the course on that one.

Overall though, I’m really proud of myself.  This is the first time in my life that I’ve stayed on a fitness program and really enjoyed it.  One of my favorite things to do right now while I’m on the elliptical is watch Discovery Channel’s “Surviving the Cut” on my iPhone via the Netflix app.  It’s an AMAZING show that inadvertently propels me to push myself harder than I have before. It’s a show that “takes viewers into the intense world of military elite forces training. From divers and snipers to para-rescue men and bomb specialists, the elite and how they earn a place in the coveted units are the focus in this compelling all new series.”  I’m addicted.

I know that yes, I’m just on the elliptical machine and these men are in 12 weeks or so of grueling hell pushing themselves to the absolutely limit of what the human body and mind can achieve, but I always feel like I’m right there with them.  Before I know it my hour of cardio is done and I’ve burned way more calories than usual, because when their Sergeant is yelling at them, I feel like they are yelling at me and I go faster.

One of the other things that I love about this show is the fact that in every single episode the trainees talk about the fact that it’s all in your mind.  Yes, you have to be in incredible shape to do the kinds of things that they are doing, but at a certain point it’s 99% mental.  I feel like that’s so applicable to everything in life.  Watching these men do things that no one should be able to do on no food, 3 hours of sleep, and 21 hours into a long and excruciating training day, all I can think is… if they can do this so can I.  And when I say that I don’t so much mean the workout, I mean, the mental games that you can play with yourself as a creative in Hollywood and specifically as an actor.  Any doubts or fears I have are all in my head.  If I can conquer those thoughts, I can do anything.

2) Sharpen My Craft

This is an interesting one.  I had mentioned that “I realized that I need to make a list of all of the possible types of characters I can play and start researching them now as opposed to when I get the material.  That way, as soon as I see the type of character, I can access the information I’ve banked so that I have a solid starting off point and I’m not forced to begin with the base line of research. (ie)  a cop’s mindset vs a lawyer’s etc…)”  Yah, I fail on this point.  I have yet to do this, but on the flip side I have done an awful lot of self-reflection lately and working on “me,” and that’s half of the work.

We recently had our good friends Michael and Leonardo over for dinner whom we hadn’t seen in a couple of years, and they commented afterwards that I was much more calm and grounded than I was before.  I used to have a tendency to kind of vibrate at a really high frequency and sort of bounce off the walls.  Well, let’s face it, I can still be like that, but now that energy comes from a much more grounded place.  Often in the past I would have this feeling that if I didn’t do something fast enough, or first, or perfectly that the world would explode or something.  Now that’s a hyperbole, but it’s a feeling that I had inside me.  I was a sprinter.  Now I’m learning to run the marathon.  I’ve really began to realize what it means when people say that things happen when they are supposed to, and the universe has bigger plans for us than we have for ourselves, and me pushing the outcome of something or wanting something to come faster than it’s meant to is just going to halt the entire journey.  And pursing an acting career is after all a journey.

3) Balance the Mind

I’ve already touched on this, but I will say that one of my acting coaches, Jack Plotnick, has incredible affirmations that he shares with the actors he works with in his digital book at his website.  For a while…well, the past 3 months really, I hadn’t been doing them.  I was feeling pretty bummed out this last week and Barry asked me if I’d been doing the affirmations.  I admitted that I hadn’t and started doing them again walking around the house, while at the gym, driving in my car, and low and behold I’m already feeling more positive and motivated.

Also, my career coach Barbara Deutsch has a few fantastic podcasts up that have really helped to refuel me.  Especially the one telling me to “wake up.”  I’ve certainly been shaken awake these past few days.

I also think that certain books come to you when you are ready for them.  By this I mean that I have a ton of books sitting on my shelf that I’ve been meaning to read for literally years and haven’t.  One of those books is Louise Hay’s “You Can Heal Your Life.”  Some people might call this book “woo woo,”  but I am a believer in the “woo woo” side of life.  I picked up this book and started reading it the other day and can’t put it down.  Yup, sometimes books speak to you at the exact right time.

4) For Now, Working Only As An Actor

So far so good on this one.  I have done a really good job of sticking to the fact that I’m not going to produce any more projects in 2012 because I was absolutely burnt out from constantly churning out product that my focus on acting suffered a lot.  I’m right on track with this at the moment and have a bunch of things that I’m involved with and attached to. I’m still currently looking for a great theatrical agent to work with as we head into episodic season, and I’ve got my target casting offices that I’m going to finally start work-shopping with.  I have my marketing materials all together and all systems are a “GO” for giving a good push towards my acting career goals in a major way this week.

5) Know What Works For Me

This has probably been one of the most freeing discoveries I’ve made so far.  I used to have “FOMO” aka) “Fear Of Missing Out syndrome.”  I would always wonder if I didn’t go to that event or do that class or read that thing etc.. would I miss out on vital information somehow?  Now, I’m much more relaxed and doing my best to weed out what I feel doesn’t work for me, and focus on what does.  This is something I’m constantly having to reassess, but again, it’s a marathon not a sprint, and it’s all about the journey.

#xoxo hels

tweet me at: @helslevy

browse me at: helennasantoslevy.com

email me at: contacthelenna@gmail.com

#NerdsUnite: Finding My Bliss

<editorsnote> Nerds, meet my buddy Eric. He is a MAASSTTEERRR social dynamics expert that will be talking about his experiences in the field from both an expert, and experience perspective. He's not just saying "this is how to get the girl" he's here to share his actual life stories and lessons learned from them. I only have one more thing left to say ... HIT IT ERIC !!</editorsnote>

#TalkNerdyToMeLover's @Redolpho

Saturday night was the first and ever social dynamics workshop conducted by myself and Jen Friel. It was foking amazing. The excitement and bliss that I felt watching these guys make the first moves into a whole new life was something beyond spectacular.

Our social dynamics night started with the question “Why are you here?” The answers varied but the awesome guys that came out to workshop both wanted change. They wanted to sharpen their social skills. Every time that I meet a guy who’s built the courage to make this change I am so proud already. As a guy, admitting that you want to be better socially gets a mixture of reactions and they are rarely good ones. Girls think you’re a douche and guys think you’re a pussy. This will be the subject of another blog but those two stereotypes couldn't be further from the truth. Girls will thank you and guys will follow you, this is not typical of the aforementioned personality characteristics.

After some intense prying into what made these guys special on the deepest levels we discovered some life issues that we knew would tackled through this process. I am such an advocate for this training because I know the profound ripple effect it has on someone's life. With all the deep stuff covered it was time to move on to the practical information, how to open and rapport building. We covered every nitty-gritty detail from body language, to the hello, to what was to be said. We talked about the fundamentals of rapport building, how to get people engaged with you and then we were off to the bars.

It was amazing! Group after group opened up so well. They opened advanced sets like two girls seated in a booth at the back of a slow bar. During one set one of our guys captivated a doctor so well that her gay friend said “you should have asked for her phone number” WHAT!? That’s amazing! We were literally having to pull these guys out of conversations so we could get the repetition that we wanted.

The night ended with group hugs, high fives and the guys all looked me deep in the eye and gave a deeply heartfelt thank you that resonated so deeply it makes tear up just thinking about it. I have found my calling and it is to change the lives of these awesome guys. To teach them what society and their fathers never did. I can’t wait for next week's workshop!!!

#thatisall

If you’d like to share your stories please feel free to tweet me at @redolpho or email me at eric dot rudolph dot carrillo at gmail dot com

Join Eric and Jen for their social dynamics workshop in LA on August 18th!

Click here for more info