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<editorsnote> Hi, I'm Jen Friel, and we here at TNTML examine the lives of nerds outside of the basements and into the social media, and dating world.  We have over 75 peeps that write about their life in real time. (Real nerds, real time, real deal.) Sit back, relax, and enjoy some of the stories!! </editorsnote>

 

 

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Entries in theyre talking nerdy baby (156)

Tuesday
Feb142012

They're Talking Nerdy Baby: #NerdsUnite (court update and VD love) 

Valentines day ... not venereal disease you sick ... sick ... human beings. ::evil laugh:: mwahaha takes one to know one!

I literally cannot thank you all for the tweets, comments, Facebook messages ... everything re: my court case today. I was UNBELIEVABLY shocked I was called to testify, and as anyone who has ever been in one of those situations knows - you relive every detail of everything (from the exact size of the laceration in my skull to how my body was positioned on the sidewalk when I regained consciousness) ... and I am just done right now.

 

I can't even talk about this anymore, I'm just ... fucking spent. This was hands down one of the worst days of my life. The fact that I had to actually TESTIFY today is equated to going into the dentist thinking you're just going in for a routine cleaning and then realizing you've woken up 6 days later because they had to take your wisdom teeth out and there were complications. It was fucking INSANE!!! And even my father who's a lawyer was STUNNED that they asked me to testify. Albeit he's a corporate lawyer, not a litigator - it was still freaking weird.

On the brighter side of things, however, I did end up getting a McDonalds gift card from the victims advocate ...

 

ANNNDDD I hooked up the Wii that the Modern Day Shaman loaned us. I'm seeing the bright side ... I swear ... I swear ... I just don't want to talk to anyone right now - hope you can all understand. 

AND this means the post will be written sooner, so who can really be mad at that. Either way, this was a superly duperly sweet email I got last night that I had to share because it totes made me all misty eyed ... 

I tend to have a fair amount of time on my hands <insert>standard masturbation joke</insert> on Valentine's Day; no hate for the day, though Madison Avenue does its usual holiday overkill.  So I tend to explore it in my own way.  {He totally spends it eating a barrel of conversation hearts.}  Do not!  Stop it!] {And weeping!} [::summons inner Miss Piggy::  Hiii-yaaa!  *smack*]  {Ow!  Meanie!}  [Where was I, oh yes...]

Here's the results of my stream of consciousness wanderings and ponderings aka One Man's Random Thoughts:  Valentine's day Edition:

Things I have learned from Wikipedia:

Blue roses are often portrayed in literature and art as a symbol of love and prosperity to those who seek it and in contemporary culture they have come to symbolize mystery and longing to attain the impossible with some cultures go so far as to say that the holder of a blue rose will have her wishes granted.  

Considering just about everyone you knew probably thought you were nuts when you started your website, and how you've used it to not only to make a living that suits your lifestyle, but as a way to explore yourself, improve yourself, and make yourself ready for the love to come, I can't think of a more appropriate rose for Jen Friel.  (Yes, sentences that run forever are my style.) 

Have one:) 

Light Pink Roses symbolize desire, passion, joy of life, youth, and energy.

Hoping for all these things for you hence the background color! 

The Anahata chakra , or heart chakra, is associated with love and compassion, charity to others, and forms of psychic healing.  It is also associated with the ability to make decisions outside of the realm of karma.  In Anahata, one is making decisions, 'following your heart', based upon one's higher self, and not from the unfulfilled emotions and desires of lower nature.

Doing what feels right, being generous and thankful, improving yourself, and not hating on people.  It's the Jen chakra! 

This really resonated with me after reading your Saturday post.  How the gratitude for the program for paying medical bills of crime victims flowed to cueing your act of gratitude to the Russian hairdressers to revealing you had seen your attacker to a release of emotion that eased at least some of your anger and anxiety about the court date today.  That post was a real change from the rawness in your 'voice' in your Thursday post; my heart was in my throat after reading that one.  I could feel your emotions in your words on my screen.

Yes, I said today up above.  I don't know when you'll be reading this, but I'm sending it at the beginning of Valentine's day my time (around 9 pm your time).   Over the last two years+ talknerdytomelover.com has proved the epitome of the last line of the last song on the Beatles last album:  "In the end the love you take is equal to the love you make." 


You've put a lot of love into your baby, and a lot of love in the people that write for it, read it, and support it.  You've created a whole community, full of energy, optimism, respect, and well wishes.  You are well ahead of the game in the love making {not lovemaking, well that too ;P ::ducks::} [Quiet you, be nice!] department.  And while you may not have that special romantic someone in your life this year, there will be a lot of love with you today.  With all your friends and family on the East Coast, heck a Talk Nerdy to Me, lover contributor in Japan!, and all your fans worldwide, your Valentine's Day has already started, even before I send this!

So today in that courtroom (and throughout this day as well) , if you feel the anger, the stress, the fear, the confusion threatening to boil over -- take a breath, close your eyes if need be, and know there's loads of love in that room with you.  No one wants you getting a contempt charge and going to jail.   :P {Depends on the jail bow-chicka-wow-wow} [Stop it!] As you like say when you talk about tweeting where you are and how much safer that makes you, you have an army of support; you may be physically alone, but never truly alone.

But then you already know all this.  Just my two cents. {Your no sense! ::runs::}  [Grrrr! ::chases::]

Tons of love for ya, Jen.  And that's just from me.  

SO. FREAKING. RAD!! 

THANK YOU GREG!! 

Oh, oh, oh ... and one more thing before I go back to my cave ... in a little over a week, I'll be IN NY!!!!!! I'm heading out there to meet with the dating review peeps. So excited!! They totally hearted your feedback! And I heart their product because it's culturally disruptive!! BAHHHH!! Everyone WINS!!!

Keep it up, nerderinos!! 

#somuchfreakinglove

PS. TRIVIA IS STILL ON FOR TONIGHT!!! (Goal Sports Cafe 9pm) Sincerest apologies for not updating sooner - but got the tweets, and yes yes yes ... still on, but please I can't talk about the case. Let's just work on keeping our winning streak for THE THIRD WEEK IN A ROW!!!! Last week we PWNED the competition, and we were down our team size by half ... ANNNNNDDDDD we won the drinking round for the first time. Way to be awesome, nerds!! KEEP.IT.UP!!! 


Tuesday
Feb072012

They're Talking Nerdy Baby! #NerdsUnite

Every.Freaking.Day. I wake up to the most AH-mazing emails on the planet. I literally cannot thank you all enough ... here's a cool one that came in last night ... (hehehe I said came)

 

This is like the greatest thing ever!! I've honestly been toning down my own dating on OKC as of late due to the shaman and the dating coach I've been working with. I've been doing loads of self work and operating a bit below the radar dating wise (but for good reason!!). I can't explain it all yet, but I will ... and it's cool! And I think working!!!

I can't say anymore without giving it away ... but thank you thank you thank you. AND thank you all again SO MUCH for all the flowers, tweets, emails, comments re: the attack on Sunset. I still haven't gotten to answering emails, and I very genuinely just don't think I can go there. I know ... I know ... lame, since I respond to everything else, but just need to process that still. Read everything - but can't go there yet. I still have to go and give flowers to the Russian ladies that chased the mothafucka down. I'm dragging my heels so hardcore on it. It's like if I dont actually go and do it - this didn't actually happen.

BAH! Oh the brain ... either way ...

Got something to say?

Here's my email: jenfriel at talknerdytomelover d c

Twitter: @JenFriel

Facebook: Facebook.com/jenfriel

Keep on keeping on ... and keep on talking nerdy to me!!! =)

#RAWR

Oh and PS. this is what I'm currently listening to. Talk about an AWESOME way to start off your Tuesday! Whoop whoop! #love

Thursday
Jan052012

They're Talking Nerdy Baby: #NerdsUnite

OOOHHHH how you loverly and nerdy human beings make my life. Check out an email I just got ...

 

Wow, what would I have done differently if I could have gone back? Very tough question on a couple of levels.

For one, I don't ever believe in going back. Mostly because it is impossible, but also because if I changed one part of the past, I won't be where I am in the present. I like this present ... so yah!

Two, my big "ah-ha" moments only came because of social media. I was documenting SOO much of my life and reading so many updates saying, wait - this is what I meant to say ... but that's not what I MEANT. I was INCREDIBLY passive aggressive, and a terribly negative person without ever being really conscious of it.

Status update after status update, things started to chip away.

Everyone has to hit a rock bottom when it comes to depression and anxiety. I tried killing myself not once, but twice. Second time ending up in a nut house and I sat there and realized, wow, I'm not crazy now what?

Then when the life I thought I was leading came apart with the mentalist, I wanted to die again but realizing that failing twice at something sucks - what if I just REALLY LIVED and sure it was crazy, but if I died, would it really matter?

I say that jokingly now of course - but it was very very real to me at the time. I started living the SHIT out of life like EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. was my last, because if I had actually killed myself on November 3, 2009 it wouldn't have really mattered anyway.

By having the ego removed in that regard and having just ONNNNNEEEEE focus and ONNNNEEEEE passion in my life (this website) to work with - everything fell into place.

I very honestly did not talk to my family for 6 months during that process. My grandmother was dying, and my parents thought I was out of my fucking mind for (as they saw it) turning my back on them and starting a business instead. (Moments before she finally did pass - I made a video. Again, this is weird to most people.)

By having my parents be preoccupied though (albeit under not so great circumstances. Dudes, I'm not heartless!), I was able to strictly focus on me, and only me and not the "me" that I was under the label "daughter," and "sister."

How can I be someone's daughter or sister if I don't know who I am?

I had to solve for that X.

The process wasn't easy - but I'm happy to report that things are moving back up, and my parents have said how proud they are of me and what I was able to build with this community.

What in me though was seeking that validation?

Just let it gooooooooooooo!!!!!

As much as I LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE my parents, I am not my parents, and I cannot please them. My parents are MORTIFIED at half of the shit that I post on this site, but they still love me.

Even during the time that we didn't talk - I would say to them over and over, I'm holding you in a place of unconditional love. Anything you say to me, doesn't matter.

That of course will only set people off MORE - so be careful ... but yah! You have to do you in life.

Period end of sentence.

(Think of it like the oxygen mask on a plane. When the SHIIIITTT is hitting the fan, and you're about to die - what do they tell you to do? Put YOUR oxygen mask on before helping others. Live. Your. Life. That. Way.)

I was a people pleaser and caretaker for so long, that all it did was exhaust me. I was running and running trying to put up this front, and trying to make other people happy without feeling satisfied myself - then I just snapped.

Case of snapping 1 - was the first time I tried to kill myself. Case of snapping 2 - was the time I went into the nut house.

You can't live your life that way. You can't please people and be following your passion at the same time. It's just not possible!!!!!!

You HAAAAVVEEEEE to take risks, you HHAAAAVVVEEEE to put yourself out there, but once you hit rock bottom - nothing else really matters because you were going to be dead anyway.

First step to finding what your passion is, is what feels good to you?

Tech ALLWWAYYYSSS felt amazing to me - but I also liked entertaining and telling stories. Surely, there's no way those things could all be one, right?

MWAHAHAAHAHA ohhhhhhh how the brain wants to tell us that we know everything!!

All I did was just follow my heart. It was hilarious, even now, having conversations with TNTML's advisor about 2012 - because we were both kinda like ... we're just going to keep throwing shit against the wall and see what sticks. All I do is follow my passion, and follow my heart. Oddly enough by being that candid and seemingly "selfish" - not only am I the most satisfied professionally that I have ever been ... but I'm finally at a pretty cool peace.

First step: Find what feels good inside of you - and let inspired thought guide you. You already have the answers inside of you - so be still and ask some questions.

(Here's a talk I just gave at Cal State Fullerton, btw talking about this. It's a guest lecture so it's pretty long, but just put it on in the background of whatever you're working on.)

And for SUURRRREEEE I'm always game to have new writers come on board!!! Got an idea or something you want to explore in the nerdy realm - drop me a writing sample! JenFriel at TalkNerdyToMeLover d c.

Peace love and lollipops, nerds!!

Get out of your head, and get into your heart!!!

#love

(heres the post that inspired this question)

Tuesday
Dec272011

They're Talking Nerdy Baby: #NerdsUnite

AHH!! Bahhhh!! and YAHHH!!! looky looky this email I just got on Facebook ...

Dude, of COURSE I would know someone in India - it's the computer nerd capital!!! =) Hehehe

OH! And in another weird and wild series of events ... this guy at the bar we did our DC meet up at totally friended me on Facebook (because of COURSE I have business cards on me 24/7) AND not only did he randomly just come up and put his jacket around me, BUT we have two mutual friends on Facebook.

And on TOP of that when I dropped my card down at the bar and said the name of the site the girl two bar stools down started freaking out going omg omg omg I know you!!!

::cough cough:: Maestro, please!

Oh good god MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP!!!!

::turning off::

Ah yes. Skrillex. There there ... it's all better.

#thatisall

Remember: The world is comprised of three people who keep doing costume changes.


Monday
Dec192011

They're Talking Nerdy Baby: #NerdsUnite

I cannot begin to tell you all how much I enjoy lifecasting. Not only do I get to have a platform to describe to you all how bat shit crazy my life can be at times - you all are then in turn allowed to know that you are not alone in this world.

I am so so so unbelievably humbled by the emails that I get every day, like this one ...

 

This isn't the weirdest email I have ever received. Not even CLOSE!

Here was my response back ...

This is so true. I can't begin to tell you how many people I've talked to that are "mentally ill" or are sick with some sort of crazy bat shit disease.

I too was sick growing up with every ailment you could have imagined. I had anxiety, depression, I was CONSTANTLY sick - even getting MRSA back in 2007. I had back pain, joint pain, headaches, stomach issues, allergies, you name it ... I've prolly had it.

Through finding my creative outlet, I now not only don't get sick on a physical level, I am emotionally the most stable I have ever been. Nothing bothers me!!! Happiness comes from WITHIN not from outside influences. If I examine where I was in 2010 and even most of 2011 - I had very literally NOTHING to my name, just an EXTREME amount of passion for what I was doing and the art form I was able to express myself through with this website. I was the HAPPIEST I have ever been in my ENTIRE life. It made NO sense to anyone else, but I didn't care - I was doing something. No one will ever come up to you and tell you that you are awesome; YOU have to discover YOUR inner awesome. Any outside validation will be fleeting and will cause you mentally to spin on a whole lotta different cylinders.

First step to discovering your awesome is to find your bliss. What makes you happy? For me it was social media. I had spent my entire social life growing up online, so when social media started to boom I was ALLLLLLLL over that shiznat. This is my thing, this is my awesome. What's yours? To find it you have to explore things that feel good. It's not going to come to you immediately, it's a process. Your job is to every day follow it a little more and more.

This website is my journey. I will run this site and this brand until the day I die because my awesome lives here. Which is so fucking rad because not only do I get to express myself, which is totally narcissistic and self indulgent but people actually get to take a little nugget from it and help THEMSELVES - which is even RADDER because it's totally a side effect!! hahaha didn't at ALL mean for that to happen, but what a great side effect! Sure beats the people pleasing I also did for 24 years that did a number on my self esteem.

Do you first. Let the rest fall into place. In this instance the nerderino was trying to build up her friend because she clearly didn't feel good enough within herself, she then had to create all of these stories. Of COURSE her house of cards was one day going to fall - it was all a show - it was a temporary fix but not something that will get to the root of the issue.

You. Have. To. Get. To. The. Root.

It is a process, it will take time - but welcome to life! This is what this shit is all about! Stop being the victim though and be the victor and discover your awesome - life is too freaking short not to enjoy every SECOND of it (and whatever that means to you)!!!

If you guys ever have questions or anything I can help with - always always always reach out. I apologize if I don't email you back right away, sometimes I am in meetings - but I am ALWWWWAAYYSSS here for you guys. And if for whatever odd ball reason I don't email back I either one didn't get it, or two just forgot - so resend. JenFriel at Talknerdytomelover dot com.

Unless of course you actually are REALLY crazy (which I do have a few of those) - and then I'm not emailing you back because you scare me. So quit being scary. K ... bye.

#love

Click here to read about my fake internet boyfriend

and click here to read about my nervous breakdown