#TipsForDudes: Foreplay
Monday, December 6, 2010 at 3:39PM#TalkNerdyToMeLover's @JenSquard
For most men sex is a sensory adventure - physical, visual, auditory, the whole thing. Whatever it is that turns a man on (boobs, butt, nakedness in general) will always turn them on. Something naughty whispered in their ear or sent over text = ready to go.
Women, not so much. For us sex is mental. Show me your wiener all day long, and it's just not going to prime the pump. I need some brain action first. That is what foreplay is all about for the ladies (I am speaking in general, of course). Don't grab my boobs, move south, then expect me to be ready. Instead, start earlier in the day. A couple of calls or texts to say you are thinking about your lady. A token to show you actually are thinking about her, like a drink from her favorite coffee shop. Stimulating conversation is always a good one - talk about what turns you on, a secret fantasy, something from your sexual bucket list. Compliments may get you some play with some girls, but in general "you're so sexy" doesn't mean much. And unless it is in the major heat of the moment, something like "I'm so hard" is likely to be a buzzkill. Instead try, "You make me feel so alive".
Seriously, every woman is obviously different, but it is going to start upstairs. Make my mind race and the body will follow. Having said that, I am in NO WAY excusing you from physical foreplay. Nice try, sucka. Take it slow, but don't draw things out. Some ladies like to kiss for hours. I get bored with that after about 4 minutes. And keep in mind that if play to the point of exhaustion, you will likely be finishing solo. What I'm trying to say, is foreplay is essential, but don't forget that it is leading to something. Hopefully.
Have some tips of your own? Or questions? I'm here to help! @JenSquard
Reader Comments (5)
i LOVE this!!! SO SO SO SO SOOO true!!!
i think this is also why so many women are so incapble of actually having an orgasm during intercourse. its entirely mental. you can't think - do i look fat in this position? and expect to cum.
for reals ... GREAT POST JEN!!! #nerdsunite
You are so right. It is 100% mental. Can't start, finish or be interested if we aren't comfortable and mentally stimulated. I get bored easily, too, so it has to be ongoing. Could never have sex with a dult.
its about comfort and connection. you have to be so into the dude, and feel 1000% comfortable in yourself and allowing this experience to happen.
no wonder why so many women cant orgasm from sex. we're so hard on ourselves. LET IT GO!!!
you mean booze and a nice car doesn't do it? sigh... #backtothedrawingboard :)
Baaah! Malcom - it'll get you pretty far, I'm not gonna lie. You can get it once that way. But when you find one so amazing that you need it ALL THE TIME...not so much.