#WTF: A stranger just texted me a pic of his ween.

#TalkNerdyToMeLover’s @JenSquard

I know I’m not lifecasting anymore, and I know this is an off the wall post, but this made me laugh so hard that I squirted a little pee, so I thought I would share.

It started with this:

 Not long after I posted that I got a text from a number I didn’t know.  Here is our dialogue:

What kind of naughty mommy happenings?

Who is this?  Your name isn’t showing up, just your number.

Thaddeus.  Saw ur post on fb. Ur pics are amazing. Tried lookin at ur domain but it won’t open.

Oh, thanks. Naughty mommy happenings would just be my honest opinion about being a mommy and the crazy things my kids do, stuff like that.  I haven’t bought a domain yet though, still deciding on a name.  You can go to www.talknerdytomelover.com and search #NaughtyMommy Happenings, there are a bunch of mine there.

Ohhh.  Gotcha.  Well that’s not naughty silly.  Just do mommyhappenings.  Or are u the naughty mommy?! Ha

Nah, that’s boring.  It would be my take on it, I’m not a traditional mom, I say and do naughty things, and take a diff approach. Yeah I’m the naughty mommy.

What naughty things?  I couldn’t forsee that judging a book by its cover.  Non traditional is good though.

Things like how my kids drive me crazy, how being a mom isn’t all roses, just raw honesty that other moms don’t share.

That’s not naughty lol. But yeah parenting is not what the books say it is.

Then he sent me a picture of his weiner!  Aaaah, come on, what the fuck, man?!?  I suppose that I could have seen that coming, but those texts were pretty nice...and I also know that if you have your phone number on Facebook that weirdos are bound to call you, I just forgot that it was on there.  Dang. 

So here’s the brilliant part: 

Not at all how most hubbys would react.  Most guys would get mad, threaten the dude, ask for his number...mine asks me to take a second look and evaluate it!  Love that man! 

So I responded with: 

Like I said on FB, I DON’T want it to be confused with porn.  Thanks for the laugh, though.

Now ur a naughty mommy. :)

You’re right, man, that was the first weiner I have ever seen.  I am now officially naughty. 

Dudes - to say it again - women are NOT, I repeat NOT turned on by the site of a penis.  Like ever.  Unless it sprouts limbs and starts cleaning the house. 

Aaaah, a day in my life...never as boring as I hope for.  Oh, and just for future reference - the word naughty can mean things other than sex.

#justsayin

My farewell to #lifecasting

#TalkNerdyToMeLover's @JenSquard

After questioning whether TNTML was the right fit a little while ago, @JenFriel told me I should take a break - just get my thoughts back in order, get out of my head, and unleash my feelings on my own blog.  So I did that - I wrote about why I thought lifecasting here was a strange fit here.  I took some time not only away from lifecasting and posting, but from social media in general.  I still updated a little bit, and kept up with things, but I spent far less time on the interwebs, and social media in general, than I normally do.  I took this last weekend off completely - headed into the mountains away from technology, and did a hard reset of my brain.  I came back today prepared to pick up where I left off, and found this:

That is where my link used to be.  I’ve been replaced.  I’m fine with that, I really am.  This is Jen’s site and brand, and she can definitely do what she wants with it.  But I guess I just thought that I deserved an email...or a text....or something.  I haven’t talked to Jen since I wrote about feeling funky, and while she wants to make sure that I know this isn’t a punishment for saying how I feel, I sure feel like it is.  Actually, it feels like I’m in middle school again, and my best friend found a cooler girl to be friends with, so she just completely stopped talking to me.  Now I’m just waiting for the rumors that I pee the bed.  I am now very much aware that “let loose on your own Tumblr, I can’t be offended”  and “take a break and come back refreshed” means something different than I thought.

I love lifecasting, but TNTML has changed a TON, especially in the last several months.  I’m not comfortable here anymore, and I know it’s because I’m not 100% proud of the site.  I understand that that doesn’t really concern me, and that I am a good fit because I am so different...but putting the most intimate details of your life into the world is hard enough.  You also have to understand that I jumped into this with no lifecasting or blogging experience - and that is crazy.  It’s a hard skill to learn on the fly, and I firmly believe that you can’t ask someone to do something differently if you are unwilling to give them any feedback or guidance.  

So I guess this is goodbye.  I have some ideas jumbling in my head for a blog of my own, so watch for that.  I’ll probably keep contributing here, just a lot less frequently, and a lot less personally.  I would like to thank you all for the support, and for allowing me the platform - this has been a great chapter of my life, and I have really enjoyed my time here.  I’m still a nerd, I’m still a mom, and I’m still awesome.  

As always, I’m a big fan of communication:

Twitter: @JenSquard
Facebook: facebook.com/jenswedhinphotography
Email: mangotreelover@hotmail.com
My photoblog: blog.jenswedhinphotography.com

#EpicVideo: How to write a love song

#TalkNerdyToMeLover's @JenSquard

The Axis of Awesome: How to Write a Love Song - watch more funny videos

These guys are called the Axis of Awesome - well played, gentleman.  Bip on over to FunnyOrDie.com for more Axis of Awesome's awesomeness. 

#Project365 | My week in review

#TalkNerdyToMeLover's @JenSquard

Here is a little bit of what I've been up to this week:

Want to see more?  Check out my photoblog: blog.jenswedhinphotography.com

#NaughtyMommy Happenings - how to properly watch Dora the Explorer

#TalkNerdyToMeLover's @JenSquard

I have three little ones running around this house, so we watch a lot of Nick Jr.  Dora, Diego, Max & Ruby, Bubble Guppies....there are tons of them that aren't nearly as good as I remember cartoons being.  Maybe it's because they are shows for preschoolers, but man, they are dull. 

To make it easier on myself I like to answer their questions in my head with grownup answers.  I also create elaborate backstories for all of the characters that fits with the storyline.  In my mind, they spice berries are a code name for ecstacy, and it was stolen by the mermaids that are running a multi-layer prostitution ring that has actually hired the sidekick to do the cleanup work....basically I just lay an episode of Law & Order over the entire thing.  It's good stuff, and really makes these ridiculous shows bearable - you should try it! 

The only show I don't have to do that to is Spongebob - that show is so completely off the wall and hilarious that it entertains me on it's own.  Well done Spongebob, well done.

Click here to get more naughty mommy happenings on Twitter.