#NerdsUnite: My name is Alicia and I'm doing 50 dates in 50 states (South Dakota)

<editorsnote> Nerds, meet my buddy Alicia. She's about to embark on a 50 dates in 50 states dating documentary. She's here today to talk about her views on life, love, and all things through her nerdy little eyes. I only have one more thing left to say ... HIT IT ALICIA!! </editorsnote>

#TalkNerdyToMeLover's Alicia Ostarello

I’ve said it before and I’ll keep on saying it until y’all believe me: dinosaurs make great first date fodder! In South Dakota, I went on my second first date that had a dino-centric theme. Perhaps what I’m learning already is that dinosaurs are sexy anywhere in the country (or at least in the west).

A mild moment of anxiety whiplashed through my head as I drove toward the Dinosaur Walk, an 80 year old park made up of “life-size” dinos, in Rapid City. I wrenched open the visor mirror while driving across four lanes of traffic to double check that my makeup didn’t look like I’d been beaten by a bear recently. All the while, Megan was gripping her “Holy smokes” handle above her head for dear life and holding a camera up, asking me to describe how I felt and why. Instead of answering, I looked out the window at the swing set we were driving by, wondering why I was about to go on a date with a near-stranger instead of swishing my legs back and forth for a few moments of airborne freedom.

Mouth: dry. Palms: sweaty. Sweater: oh yeah, sweaty too. Hair: kind of frizzing out. Rest of myself: really in need of being under control. Great.

My best recipe for wiping out wildly out of control nerves is to start talking like I’ve just been handed a vocabulary about anything that comes to mind. After saying hello and shaking hands to my date, Ben, we took a flight of stairs to the first dinosaur, where I made out the tail of the creature to be a Jurassic hammock.

Jokes came out of my mouth about picking dinosaur noses and soon I was looking for “bats in the cave” on T. Rex, Brontosaurus, and some dino that looked like Boba Fett. Ben, also likely rather nervous, made a “look at the size of his wenis” joke and managed to scare two children regarding how tasty they looked to the fearfully great beast. We eventually moseyed downtown to pick the noses of the presidents (all are represented in statue form on the street corners), compare shoe sizes and grab a beer.

Ben, already very sweet, endeared me to him twice over: first when he responded to a text from his mom, who had checked in to make sure he hadn’t been smuggled away by pirates. Second, by pretending not to notice that our waitress was hot beyond all reason in a Britney Spears “Baby, One More Time” inspired outfit, complete with ripped abs and a jangly navel piercing.

By this point, my nervousness had worn off and I was instead simply enjoying myself. Flirting a little, but letting the conversation tangent forward and backward, diagonal and cockeyed. Existential chit-chat, nerdy jokes about numbers and literature, discussing mortality, waxing poetic about life, comparing the brain to the most complex of electrical systems, shamefully telling stories of mean things we’ve said to others and how it made us feel.

We walked to his car — evidence of his anxiousness about our date was evident in the fact that he’d left his windows down and doors unlocked. South Dakota’s adorableness was noted in the fact that no one had broken into his automobile. Hugs were exchanged, doors were shut, He lit a cigarette; , Megan and I put NPR on.

Oddly, this was the first date that has felt like a real date. A bit unsteady to begin, followed by finding conversational footing, then off and running with rapport, and an uncertain goodbye. Everyone else, I have either known too much or too little about, so our dates have felt blind or a bit more second date-ish.

Reminder to self: nerves are a good thing. Right up there with dinosaurs.

#nerdsunite

Alicia Ostarello has combined her talents in talking to strangers with degrees in English and Sociology and is currently taking a road trip across the country with one goal in mind: to go on a first date in every single state. Follow her trip and the documentary film being produced about it, 50/50: A Dating Documentary on Facebook at facebook.com/5050ADatingDocumentary.

#NerdsUnite: My name is Alicia and I'm doing 50 dates in 50 states (Start With Dinosaurs: Montana)

<editorsnote> Nerds, meet my buddy Alicia. She's about to embark on a 50 dates in 50 states dating documentary. She's here today to talk about her views on life, love, and all things through her nerdy little eyes. I only have one more thing left to say ... HIT IT ALICIA!! </editorsnote>

#TalkNerdyToMeLover's Alicia Ostarello

The closest I’ve ever been to a blind date is watching “Blind Date” while delaying homework as an adolescent. So when my newlywed friends Sacha and Matt offered up not only their couches but to set me up with a photographer friend of theirs, I figured there was no place like Bozeman, Montana to experiment with the elusive blind date.  

I was sitting on the grass in front of Museum of the Rockies, a large cast of a full T. Rex hovering above me, when Ben walked up. He was a bit of a ginger, and I was immediately happy to see his arms drizzled with freckles. I over-eagerly complimented them as we shook hands, and I was surprised to watch him be a bit taken aback. Of course, then, thirty seconds into this meeting I had to explain I’ve always wanted a freckle-sprinkle of my own, but alas, only if you squint your eyes and wish as hard as I do would you be able to see the faintest of freckling on the bridge of my nose.

From there, we made awkward small talk (I am fairly certain about 60 seconds after the freckles comment I made a joke about fingering bones, of which I am not proud) and then went into the museum basement to watch the paleontologists at work.

If there’s one thing that breaks the ice better than a heated sledgehammer, it’s dinosaurs. Our tongues loosened as we gawked at Triceratops, spun ideas about why the beasts’ spikes widened and dulled, and discussed what it was like to be a kid and immersed in the Triassic, Jurassic and Cretaceous periods. Add in the fact that I almost broke a dino-bone when a chunk of dirt chipped off what we were touching, and Ben and I didn’t lack for conversation.

Ben wasn’t at all what he appeared to be — which, in a plaid shirt, jeans and an easy smile, was a ski-rabbit waiting for the winter. Instead, he was an accomplished photographer and writer who had spent time studying abroad. He had a truly open mind after coming to terms with his family’s religious nature in order to be his own person and make his own choices. What began as jaunty small talk fell into questions, answers and discussion.

Matt and Sacha met us at a local pizzeria for drink after we’d spent a few hours together — and funnily enough, despite our friends sitting next to us and chattering about art, writing and the innumerable quirks of Bozeman, Ben and I kept having side conversations where we were literally leaning around the side of the table to make sure we could hear each other. This all might have ended with a kiss. Or not.

My takeaway from this (besides Ben’s number): if you’re ever on a blind date and don’t know what to say, start with dinosaurs.

#nerdsunite

Alicia Ostarello has combined her talents in talking to strangers with degrees in English and Sociology and is currently taking a road trip across the country with one goal in mind: to go on a first date in every single state. Follow her trip and the documentary film being produced about it, 50/50: A Dating Documentary on Facebook at facebook.com/5050ADatingDocumentary.

#NerdsUnite: The Relationship (The One That Wasn't- Part 3)

<editorsnote> Nerds, meet my buddy Jordan. He was one of the first writers here on TNTML and he's a really rad mofo. I forget how we first started talking - but he lives allllllll the way over in Kansas and wants to talk to you about life from his side of the monitor in the keyword of nerd. I only have one more thing left to say ... HIT IT JORDAN!! </editorsnote>

#TalkNerdyToMeLover's @SaintPepsi

It was a few more days before she actually talked to me again and was excited to see me.  She's always excited to see me. I hoped it was because she had figured out just what to do with whatever we had become.

Much to my surprise it was to tell me, that over the weekend she had found, “The ONE!” The perfect guy for her and that must have been why her heart wouldn't let her fall for me. I was really stunned at this point. I just gritted my teeth and tried to smile for her new found happiness, screaming on the inside. She saw it written all over my face. Told me it was probably a bad time to have told me that. Ya think? I told her it wasn't, in a bit of a bitter tone, that in doing so it sealed the deal on my heart ache. Which it did, it cauterized it with fire. Because of that I was able to instantly cut her heart strings from mine. She explained that it was because he was so much like her. That with me I had this barrier of happiness flowing around me. That is stopped any bad from entering into me.

I had never really thought about it that way. She contended that because of that barrier, I had never really had to give up the girls I had dated. That I bounced back so fast, I never allowed myself to truly feel pain. So since each of those girls still had active parts of my heart, I couldn't have ever really given her my whole heart. I told her I had given her my whole heart, I had given her my all. She said she needed it all, not just what was left. In that moment my barrier shattered. The barrier I just found out was there, came crashing down and the heartache of 12 years came streaming into me all at once. I felt sick. Really sick. I ran into my room and put on, “As the world falls down” by Girl in a Coma. Yeah I felt like a teenage girl. Just lying there in my bed trying to breathe, trying not to cry. She came in and jumped on me and the bed and told me I wasn't allowed to feel pain. I was cursed with happiness and that’s not such a bad curse. She brought me back up. She helped me piece together my barrier then and it’s still not as powerful as it once was. She held me that night as the darkest parts of my past fought to get inside me. Truly, one of my darkest days.

She promised I would always have her love, even if that didn't mean having her heart. She wasn't going anywhere. I knew better though. The whole dynamic was about to change. She had found someone else to be with. She was moving on and to her it wasn't drastic. She didn't have to change anything really when it came to us, because she had only ever seen me as a friend. I guess... I still felt she had seen me as more, but that’s beside the point now.  For me it was a fight with reality. I had to change my stars. I had to readjust the whole of the way I saw her. I had to stop loving and longing for her. It was a very hard week.
 
We had been scheduled to go see a Dropkick Murphey’s show after my birthday that following weekend. A birthday she gracefully dipped out on. Probably for the best in that regard I’m pretty sure most of my friends were out for her blood at this point. They can be very protective. One even had a gun... not even kidding. Of course that girl always carries a gun. The concert grew near and she was still very hard to get a hold of. Still, when I did talk to her she was confident she was going. Not until the day of the show did I see her again and she gave me the same big hug as always. In that instant she felt that everything had changed. She questioned me, called me a liar when I said I was fine, and tried to read my silence. We had a third wheel with us though and I didn't want to talk about it in front of him. I could barely look at her the whole way there.

When we got there, I stole some time with her and told her how everything had changed. How I couldn't be with her the way I had been. She understood, but I told her it would take some time. I knew this was the beginning of the end for what we had created. I knew she would always be there for me if I needed her. Just not the way I had hoped. Luckily, spending 3 hours in a punk rock mosh pit slamming into each other took away the bitter taste I had in my mouth for her sudden absence in my life. We both got out a lot of our frustrations that night. It was an amazing show, we came home and crashed out again in my bed. Still I was done mentally; I hadn't tears to spare for her anymore, nor sentiment to give her from my heart. Those paths had all been taken and I wasn't falling again. Who knows what the future holds for us both? I know we love each other, of that she has told me many times. It’s not quite the type of love I was looking for. I want it all. I want the girl to be mine fully. I still need to seek the one for me. I’m sure she’s out there. I have just grown so tired of the games I have to play to get there. Seems everyone is looking to build a relationship with a stranger, to find someone to love that they have never met. What I want to do is build a foundation with someone. So that when we do get into the relationship part, what we build is a solid on a foundation centered on trust. We had that, she was missing the spark though. That’s why the fall hurt so much. I had that spark for her. We had spent so long on our foundation that it was sad not to be able to build on that, to craft a future together. What we build there will be a structure of friendship. Not a house for love. So I guess I’m back to looking for a new girl to let me craft a foundation with.

You see I like to court a girl. I like the old fashioned approach to love where you get to know a person and then decide if you want to spend the rest of your life with them. That’s the building blocks of a solid relationship, one that will stand the test of time, where you truly do become the best of friends, and life just comes together perfectly through trial and error. I haven’t found it yet and I don’t know if I’ll survive the next fall if it turns out not to be the one. This one was too close for comfort. Still I will persevere. I will fight because deep down I am and always will be a hopeless romantic. I may always go after the impossible, but that’s because I dream big. I know what I can get and I shoot for the moon. The stars will keep me company and the night sky will be the highway to our lives. The love I find will be that of legend and tales will be told for ages to come.

Let me tell you this dear readers, when love finally works out for me that girl will be my Goddess. I will worship the ground she walks on.  She will be my everything and my heart will forever be hers. Until that time I will continue to wander delighting in any adventure along the way. Adding story after story to my chest of memories. Until I find the girl who looks at me with wide eyes, eager to hear another story, to be part of them, to be my eternal fire. Lord willing this will happen soon. I don’t do well alone. I feel I was made for companionship. So here's to my future companion. May the wind blow you ever closer to me with each passing day, may the gods you worship grant you the sight to see me, and may your troubles be not so great as to obscure our coupling.

#nerdsunite

click here to follow Jordan on the twittah!

#NerdsUnite: The Relationship (The One That Wasn't- Part 2)

<editorsnote> Nerds, meet my buddy Jordan. He was one of the first writers here on TNTML and he's a really rad mofo. I forget how we first started talking - but he lives allllllll the way over in Kansas and wants to talk to you about life from his side of the monitor in the keyword of nerd. I only have one more thing left to say ... HIT IT JORDAN!! </editorsnote>

#TalkNerdyToMeLover's @SaintPepsi

Here we go Part 2 of yet another crazy whirlwind romantic journey. When last we left our story the girl was flying back to Kansas.

Upon arrival I got a monster hug. We were so happy to see each other. After weeks apart it felt like the world stopped with her there in my arms. I still had no idea where I was with this girl though. I couldn't truly read anything she told me. She had told me no before, but how do you read a no that refuses to let go of you? We drove 2 hours back to my place and I handed her the letters. I told her she wasn't allowed to read them until she had readjusted to our town. She was cool with that, even as curious as she is. In a day she had decided that she was readjusted enough to read them, after having seen a few of her friends here in town. Those letters went over like a lead brick at the start; she saw where they were going.

 I’m sure she thought she had told me, “No.” already. She told me again that it just couldn't happen. That no matter what she did, she couldn't feel us in her heart. That 9 out of 10 things felt so right about us that I truly was one of the most amazing guys she had ever met. Just something inside her said not to let herself go for me. She was waiting for the feeling and she just didn't see it coming. She had told me before that in the past she always knew right off the bat that she was into someone. The first fall would tell her everything, and the times she pushed past and let herself go to someone without that fall had been disastrous. Sound a little like Laura? Yeah, it did to me too. Red flag 2.

 I should have listened.  In the middle of all that, her estranged husband IMed her. So she hopped on Skype with him and had her final words of goodbye. In that, she asked about me and why she couldn't get on board with me, because I felt too much like him. Wondering if I too, would turn out to be an ass. He told her she couldn't judge others by his actions, his horrible rationalizations. She told me this all after the conversation. Like I said we didn't hide anything from each other. That was one chapter closed. I asked myself why, if she didn't want to be with me, ask him about me? I asked her then if I was her Ex. She said, "No, I wasn't." She kept the letters and cuddled up again with me that night. In fact she didn't leave my house for 5 days straight. I told her she was dangerous, because this was all feeling so real and yet wasn't. It was tearing me apart. Also I suck at saying no to people. So when she asked if she should leave, I couldn't say she should. Even if it would have been better for my soul. I hate sleeping alone if I can avoid it, and even if what we had wasn't real. It was one of the best relationships I had ever been in. Sad to say that I guess. Then again it felt real to me, even those around us had told us that we looked and acted like a couple. Not just any couple, but that sickeningly sweet couple that just freaks you out by how close they are.

That week my twin brothers came to town and helped her and I with our Halloween costumes. Costumes mind you which were Shredder and Michelangelo from the Ninja Turtles. If you will, a couples costume. She of course didn't see it that way. How could I not though? 

The next few weeks we worked on those costumes until they were all put together. I hadn't brought the topic of us up again. I wasn't going to. I didn't want to scare her away again, especially after the over share of the last 5 letters. You think I would have learned my lesson. A week before Halloween she had a final date thing planned with the guy she was hung up on from before. I told her I felt ill at ease about the whole situation, not being in a REAL relationship though I couldn't really object to it. I’ll admit I was jealous though, she was moving Heaven and Earth for this guy and he was absent. I was moving Heaven and Earth for her and at least I got to hold her at night.

The night before, she had me come over to help her find the perfect outfit. An outfit that she had actually left at my house on accident. I didn't know that until later, but she tore her room apart looking for a top she had discarded in my room. I told her she was dumb for going out of her way for this guy. A guy she wasn't staying with every night. When I, the guy she was staying with every night was right there for her. She said she had to sign off with a, “HA! This is what you are missing out on.” I had written her one final letter. In that letter I too gave her a, “HA! This is what you are missing out on.” Remember, I have a tendency to not say what I mean, so my letters clarify in absolute detail what I am trying to convey. Saves me from having to go back and run through my mind looking for the right thing to say

So, that conversation lead into me talking about my letter and I gave it to her. I didn't want to, because it was in so many words my goodbye. After she read it, she told me again she still couldn't feel it and she had tried so hard to feel it. I told her I had to act, because it still felt very real to me especially with the couples costumes. She then clarified what I assumed, that she didn't think it was a couples costume. Of course...

That night we finally broke through to the core problem dealing with her first love and a loss of hope. I realized there was nothing I could have ever done to break that wall. That she had to find the love for herself, before she could ever love anyone else. Seems my type just might be very damaged girls. I didn't lose hope, but I was done trying to win her affection. As I left I held her, I told her I loved her. She told me she loved me too. The date the next day didn't go well and she started to close that chapter on him. That’s 3 Ex’s she closed chapters on. I didn't read into it though. I was done reading into things. My heart couldn't take it anymore. Still our bond only strengthened. She came over and we watched a movie after the date day and cuddled up. I told her no one would understand what we were at this point, honestly I didn't even know. That even though we weren't together; that when her heart let her love again if she found me to be the one she had to tell me. She promised she would and gave me a very enthusiastic hug. We were diving deeper and deeper into each other still. There was no past that frightened us from the other. Nothing we did or said seemed to drive a wedge between us.  

That weekend we both got sick and I took care of her. She and I took work off and just lazed about the house. Luckily, we got well enough to enjoy Halloween. Which unfortunately was on a Wednesday. Still, we hit the Ville like champs decked out in our amazing costumes. Toured the Ville getting drunker by the hour. That night we went back to my home far gone on beer and found ourselves at the will of our baser instincts. We had spent the better part of four months in each other’s arms and with the inhibitions gone, so were our clothes. Sex seemed like a natural progression. We didn't really sleep that night and enjoyed each other far into the early morning. I honestly can’t ever recall having that much sex in one sitting. We would stop long enough to drink some water, giggle at ourselves, and grab a smoke. Now I can blame drunkenness on our initial sexual encounter, but the next day when we were sober and kept going well that sent my head spinning again. I told her, “I think she liked me.” She told me, “Nope, nothing had changed.” This was a slight I wasn't prepared for, although I should have been.

She left and we had tentative plans to hang with my mom the next day, and my brothers later that day. She canceled on both. I called to see what was up. That lead into a 2 hour discussion about how now that we had tried EVERYTHING and her heart still wasn't on board. That there was nothing left to do but be friends.

I was dismantled, perplexed, and broken. My brothers were my saving grace that night. From a girl that had broken my heart 3 times in four months. I think that might be a record. Fool me once shame on you... We prepped our outfits for a Steampunk convention we were going to in Wichita the next day. It was a very hard night. Still I tossed the tears and heartache aside and headed to Wichita for the convention. Wichita the home of Laura. I had some questions for her on the whole scenario. She held a very unique perspective on it. The convention was a blast and I got to see Laura again. We talked about all our current relationship craziness; I thanked her for not having sex with me. I know that’s weird, but she was right when she told me it would have meant too much for me and tied me closer to her in a way she couldn't reciprocate. I was glad now, frustrated then. I saw the wisdom in it clearly. Hopefully, not a mistake I will make again in the future. Let’s face it though, I probably will.

Well I'll stop here for now. One part left to go. The final No that gives me the resolution to move on. I think you'll be surprised by this ending. It certainly surprised me. 

#nerdsunite

click here to follow Jordan on the twittah!

#NerdsUnite: The Relationship (The One That Wasn't)

<editorsnote> Nerds, meet my buddy Jordan. He was one of the first writers here on TNTML and he's a really rad mofo. I forget how we first started talking - but he lives allllllll the way over in Kansas and wants to talk to you about life from his side of the monitor in the keyword of nerd. I only have one more thing left to say ... HIT IT JORDAN!! </editorsnote>

#TalkNerdyToMeLover's @SaintPepsi

I've avoided this post for a few weeks now. Maybe the wound is still fresh, although mentally I have stitched myself back together. Found my resolution. That’s the important part I think. So time to roll the story of the last 4 months. See with every new girl I fall for, I feel like I get closer and closer to the girl I am ultimately looking for. That being said, the closer I get, the harder the fall each time. As any of you who have been keeping up with my love life via this site have seen... I’ve gone through some crazy emotional roller coaster rides. I don’t just stick my feet in when it comes to love. I like to dive in and see where the current takes me. So here we go, a story that leads to yet another very close friend for life I’m sure.

I was biking home from work a while back, when a black SUV came up the road and Bullhorned me. If you don’t know what that is, let me illuminate it for you. It’s when a bunch of douchebags get their giggles off by driving around trying to scare the shit out of bikers. Anyway, I got home and threw an angry Facebook rant down about it.

What I got was a response from a girl I rarely talked to. We had hung out socially a few times at the bars, but never for long extended times. That back and forth lead to IMing and we talked for a good 2 hours. At which time she said, “Why haven’t we hung out?” I responded, “We should!” So we went to IHOP at 2 in the morning. There we dove into each other’s lives and I ended up telling her about a series of paintings I have done using my hair. I told her I had gotten the idea from the shower and throwing my hair on the wall after shampooing. Sounds way weirder than it is. She said she did that too. She told me she wanted to paint. So we left there and went back to my place to paint. Around 5 in the morning she took off. I was a little stunned. Not many people I have ever met are so free form to just jump into my life like that. Especially, the not sleeping part of my life. Trust me I make awkward first impressions at my best and it takes a while to warm up to who I am. Once you do, of course you’ll love me for life, just saying. Still I was more than a little interested in this girl. I kept my guard up because like I said before I tend to jump into things head first. I’m trying to be less susceptible to heart-ache. Didn't really hear from her for a few days until I got a Facebook message that she really wanted to hang out again. So we did.

I will say this in my interactions with girls; I want every new experience to be memorable. A new adventure if you will, every time we hang out. This time we went to one of the high points around our town and just talked for hours. We kept doing this up all night together thing over and over again. Naturally, I told her I liked her on the roof of my house under a starlit sky. She responded in kind. She really liked me too. Sounds good so far... then came the, “but.” Red flag number one. She had been talking to a guy and felt it would be wrong to end things there before seeing where they went. Told me it was something she had a lot of faith in, and that it held great potential. I couldn't fault her for that, because I had done the same thing with Laura. You remember my 8 part series on the greatest, “what if” of my life. I told her that was cool, I wouldn't pressure her anymore about it. That night she crashed at my place. No sex mind you, just cuddled up together. Thus started the great undoing of me.

Over the course of the next month we spent every spare moment we could together. We even started planning things way in the future, which went against one of my rules. You know the rules we set up to govern our actions in love. Well I side stepped this rule, which was never plan anything greater than half the time you have been dating them. I told myself, “Well we aren't technically dating.” I did however, take her out all the time, I never called them dates. To me though it felt like and were dates. Both socially and just the two of us. Still she was spending almost every night at my house, in my bed with me. It was starting to feel like a relationship, who am I kidding it was a relationship. I even gave her dresser drawers so she wouldn't have to keep driving to her house before work. I also in her own words gave her the perfect day. Where we went on a hike, saw a swarm of monarch butterflies, walked with deer, and talked about what we were going to name our future children. We had danced in the rain together. We had missed so many amazing first kiss moments. I brought that up once during a long conversation we had. She said she had been counting them. Top that with the fact that we haven’t lied to each other since we met. Complete and total honesty between the two of us. So after a few months of that; she was planning on heading back to her home town. Half a country away. I told her again, “Look this really does feels like a relationship.” I highlighted all the aspects of it that were. She responded by saying, “We haven’t kissed or had sex.” Side note she had kissed me once while drunk. I told her that’s not how I define a relationship. That’s just the perks of monogamy. In fact we had discussed our sexuality at length, which also didn't help the desire for her. We synced up in so many ways it was uncanny. Of course there were aspects of us that didn't. I like that though. It keeps you on your toes. Makes the relationship more interesting.  Still she was held up on a guy. She had told me who it was and made me promise never to divulge that information. I will take any secret someone tells me to the grave if need be. So long as I know it’s a secret. So I wrote her a letter. Remember a letter is what got me in trouble with Laura. When I fall in love and there are questions rolling in my head, I can’t get them out till I write them down. So I did just that.

The week before she left we took a trip to KC to see Nightwish. The trip seemed to be filled with failure. The bands lead singer got hospitalized, we had to sleep on the floor of my friend’s house, and she got dumped into meeting my brother without a lot of prep. Still I gave her the letter after a late night walk. She liked it. Really liked it. Then came the, “but.” She wasn't ready for me or anyone and was still hung up on the other guy. She also told me I had lied to her. Siting her Ex-husband was a storyteller as well, and it left a bitter taste in her mouth. I was stunned. I don’t lie! I don’t lie to anyone. Let alone the ones I love. She contended that it was because I exaggerate when I tell stories. That is true I thought, instilling doubt in myself. So from that day forth I decided to extract my exaggeration with girls I wanted to get to know. When it comes to talking to someone that you want to know you, why tell-tale tells. They may fall in love with the stories of you, only to find the man less than fantastic. Now my stories are generally amazing without the over the top aspects. I am and forever will be a storyteller though. Exaggeration is part of that. So I decided to cut it from the courting process alone. So when we got back and she prepared to leave, I told myself I was just going to let her go and not focus on her. The 2 weeks of her absence would do my heart good I thought. I could get away from the screaming of my mind and let myself cool down. I wasn't going to text or call without her initiating contact.

She called me almost every day she was there. We spoke at length and long into the night about all of her past and the friends she had there. She had given me every part of her back story I could fathom, swapping stories back and forth. In the course of this I really started to question everything. My mind spun like a top. Why is she calling me, asking me to just get up and move there with her, telling me more than anyone else she missed me? Especially, after telling me, “no” because I felt too much like her Ex Husband. She was still missing me. Those two weeks I wrote her I believe 5 letters, each with my own answers to questions she had about my character. Each a semblance of the love I had for her. In one, to prove to her that my stories weren't all bad: I even took a dream she had for herself and brought it to life. I wrote her dream as a reality.  She loved that one a lot. When the time came for her to leave, she wasn't ready to. However, she knew she only wanted to see one person. She only wanted one person to greet her at the airport and that was me.

There you have it my friends Part 1 of yet another tail spin romantic endeavor. Keep your eyes peeled for part 2 as the whole thing seems to unravel in front of me. One day i may find a girl that isn't emotionally unavailable. I guess today is not yet that day.

#nerdsunite

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