Facebook Status O'El Dia

 

One of my married friends sent me this and a few videos...took me a second before I realized this is his Married Guy porn collection. Poor married guys...

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Facebook Status O'El Dia

 

I understand that scissors can beat paper, and I get how rock can beat scissors, but there's no way paper can beat rock. paper is supposed to magically wrap around rock leaving it immobile? why can't paper do this to scissors? screw scissors. why can't paper do this to people? why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class?

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Facebook Status O'El Dia

I found out the hard way but apparently Vagisil is awesome at making your teeth pearly white. 

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Facebook Status O'El Dia

to err is human, to arr is pirate.

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Facebook Status O'El Dia

If tomato is a fruit, does that make ketchup a smoothie??

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