#NerdsUnite: Comfort zone be gone!

<editorsnote> Nerds, meet my buddy Chelsea. She's a newbie to our loverly state of California and is currently trying to find her own voice and find her own way. Gosh, aren't we all??? She's here today to talk about her journey in life, love, and all things nerd.  I only have one more thing left to say ... HIT IT CHELSEA!!</editorsnote>

#TalkNerdyToMeLover's @chelofthesea

My whole life I’ve been an extrovert, someone who gets energized by spending time with others. I grew up in a family who spends most of their time hanging out together in common spaces. Even when I was going through my way too emo phase, I didn’t lock myself up in my room. When I needed to listen to Dashboard and comb my bangs in front of my left eye, I would sit in the living room while my mom, dad, and brother bantered behind me. Of course I rolled my eyes and fought back constantly but regardless, I thrive on the energy of other human beings.

That being said, spending time alone has never been one of my strengths. I remember when I was younger, my mom wanted to show me how mature she felt I was by letting me stay home alone while she ran errands. Little did she know, I freaked out. Remember how I said I was hyper-paranoid last week? Well, that’s not a new thing. But after I checked all the closets and triple checked that the doors were locked, I realized I didn’t even know what I was supposed to do with myself. I think I ended up sitting near the front window waiting for my mom to come home. I might have even called her cell phone to talk because I was bored. 

Growing up in the burbs means everyone you know is pretty near-by. Because of that, I’ve always been able to fill my nights and weekends with other people. Moving to LA served as a reality check, after some of my good friends out here moved away for new, wonderful adventures (selfish!). I found myself with entire Saturday’s free of plans and nobody around to make them with. This isn’t to say I’m not part of a great community out here, surrounded by rad individuals. But guess what? Sometimes they have their own plans that don’t include me! Shocking, I know.

Because I’d never been in this situation before I found myself spending my days in bed, wasting nearly all of my time. As Monday mornings rolled around, I wasn’t nearly as refreshed as one would think but more exhausted from doing nothing. Weird how that works, huh? When we’re expected to run around non-stop, we want time to relax. When we’re free to be lazy, we’re hoping for a full day of plans.

Anyway, this past January I think I finally realized I needed to take ownership of my time! Before that, the only thing I'd been doing on my own was going on dates. And while that is obviously fun in its own way, and nobody hates a free beer or meeting someone new, I realized until you’re totally cool with yourself and happy having fun alone (insert masturbation joke here), you can’t be happy with someone else. But I digress…

As most things in my life, this is still a work in progress and there are still some weekends I don’t get out of bed, sucked in by Netflix or the latest book I’m reading. But the difference is that when this happens now, it is because I made a choice to not get out of my pajamas for 36 hours and eat cereal in my bed. That makes it okay, right? 

So what do I do with my weekends, you ask? The Torrance Farmer’s Market occupies many of my Saturday mornings. C’mon… Who doesn’t love watermelon lemonade, fresh produce, and precious children running around?  I’ve made a habit of spending a couple hours at the beach most weekends, alternating between people watching and journaling. Sometimes journaling about my people watching. Thrift stores make my heart happy and there’s no need for another person to watch me try on red sequins dresses and cardigans last worn by 90-year-old women... And these baby steps have led to me getting much ballsier about going out alone. Recently I even went to a restaurant completely by myself! It might seem silly but just getting in the habit of being proactive about my time rather than bitching about nobody being around, I’ve been able to learn so much about myself. How great is that?!

To be totally honest, always having your “people” around is awesome. Who wouldn't want to be surrounded by people who get your jokes, know your story, and are always down to go out with you? But there is something to be said about challenging yourself to be alone sometimes. My most recent goals are: 1) To find a coffee shop or bar, where I can be a “regular.” 2) To go to events, hang-outs, etc. where I can meet super cool, like-minded people to kick it with. We’ll see how it goes and of course, I’ll keep you all updated. Hopefully some of you even end up being those people! 

#nerdsunite

click here to follow Chelsea on twitter!

#TakingNotes: What Turns You On?

<editorsnote> Nerds, meet my buddy Laurel. She's hands down one of the most candid and matter of fact people that I have ever digitally met. For reals, this chick is not only a hustler, but hella smart and digs breaking things down for peeps to help them understand ... I heart her long time. I only have one more thing left to say ... HIT IT Laurel!! </editorsnote>

#TalkNerdyToMeLover's @QuickieChick

“Do you prefer me in the thong, g-string, boy shorts, or bikini panties?”…

Maybe I’m not normal, but I was definitely thinking about sex when I was in elementary school. I remember reading a book on puberty and sex when I was in the 5^th grade that I totally devoured. During breaks I would hide under a table in the back of class absolutely inhaling the information.

My First Porn

When I was 10 my friend’s babysitter accidentally took us to a porn at the movie theater. Of course I did the natural little girl thing of closing my eyes, even hiding my face with my fingers. But you better believed I peeked! I wasn’t horrified. I was intrigued! The movie took place in a whore house. The girls were in their early 20s, the guys were significantly older and Asian. I remember this one guy telling the girl to wash him off with a cloth when they were done. He just lay there on the bed as she got up, put on a cute simple pair of black silk Brazilian cut bikini panties, turned on the hot water in the sink, then came back to him to delicately clean him. It was a strikingly touching and sexy moment. I, clearly, have never forgotten.

My Dad’s Playboy

What is “sexy” is highly debatable and totally dependent on the individual’s preferences, often based on personal experiences and even fantasies that became branded into our brains from the time we were 10 years old and happened to peak at the big (though real- back then) boobs in our dad’s Playboy magazines hidden under the bed. And I’m not just talking about dudes, those images also helped create the definition and ideal of sexy in chick’s heads too. That whore movie from when I was 10 years old has for sure had an indelible impact on me. And, yes, I snooped in my dad’s Playboys and totally found the magazines sexy. And that’s not because I’m into chicks, it’s because I had never seen a naked woman’s body placed in a sexualized position before. It was hot! It was even a turn on.

And so my quest for what is sexy began. But not just trying to figure out what I find sexy. I wanted to know what guys find sexy. What’s interesting- they all like different things!

Bra, Panty, Lingerie Fashion Show!

I have an extensive collection of lingerie. Everything from boy shorts to crotch-less panties, teddies to …. well, you can imagine for yourself. When I have been seeing a guy for a significant period of time, I start to wonder what styles, outfits, specific bra and panty sets he prefers, is “eh” about, and totally dislikes. SO… I do a fashion show. This is not a sexy show, it isn’t a strip tease, it isn’t foreplay. I try on an outfit and ask “do you like this or no?” “What do you like/don’t like about it?” The items that he doesn’t like go into a special drawer- the “in case we break up and someone else may like them” drawer. This way I always know that what I have on, he likes, so I am not getting all gussied up and feeling sexy in some uber-uncomfortable getup that he finds totally un-sexy.

What I find most sexy on myself: black silk Brazilian cut bikini panties and no bra.

Taking notes… because if you don’t ask, how else are you going to know for sure?

P.S…. I’m actually wearing those black bikini panties in an image in my new book “QuickieChick’s Cheat Sheet to Life, Love, Food, Fitness, Fashion and Finance on a Less than Fabulous Budget” (St. Martin’s). It's filled with lots of tips- lived, learned, and noted...... 

#nerdsunite

click here to follow Laurel on twitter and don't forget to check out her site over yonder!!

Oh and oh oh oh! She also has a book coming out on May 22nd! Here's more info!

#NerdsUnite: Hey @VirginAmerica- Can you help these two nerds unite?

To whom it may concern at Virgin America,

Hi, I'm @JenFriel and I have two AMAZINGLY AWESOME friends by the name of @zrdavis and @ashleycrowl.

Here they are ...

Ashley is a KICK ASS rugby player that lives in DC and Zach works for a super popular tech blog and lives in San Fran. I travel a lot, so I've had the wonderful opportunity of meeting these two MULTIPLE times and hanging out - but I really really really think these two could be a good match in the love department. Dudes, I did 103 dates in 9 months, and I study social dynamics ... I will say with an EXTREME amount of confidence that I think this is going to work out. The only problem is, like most people right now - they're strapped for cash and can't afford to go visit one another.

So, I was thinking if we could possibly get a sponsored round trip ticket from you guys (and of course we'd blog and tweet about the entire weekend) we can get them to LA (where I live) and they can come kick it for a weekend and get to know one another. TNTML has a super popular base in LA so we'll even throw them a little shindig out here for finally connecting, and we can all see what happens.

You guys are the coolest airline out there, and I KNNNOOOWWW these two are perfect for each other, we just have to get them in the same room.

Want to know a super sweet back story about these two as well? Zach just hiked the Appalachian trail last year and Ashley actually baked him cookies and mailed them to him on the trail. True story. These two are a match made in nerdy heaven, and the sparks that happen in 140 characters is REDIC!!!

 Bottom line what we need: 1 round trip ticket from DC to LA.

(If you're feeling uber generous one from SF to LA would be appreciated too, however, I will personally pay out of pocket for Zach to get down here if necessary. A greyhound bus is only like $60. Sorry it's not as cool as Virgin Zach - but I'm doing the best that I can.)

Please help unite these two nerds, Virgin!!

Thank you SO FREAKING MUCH for your time. It's greatly appreciated.

<3

@JenFriel

And if everyone reading this post can please tweet this to Virgin:

"#NerdsUnite: Hey @VirginAmerica - Can you help these two nerds unite? http://bit.ly/Mh3zfM"

Fingers crossed, nerds!!

#nerdsunite

#NerdsUnite: The journey is the destination

<editorsnote> Nerds, meet my buddy Ali. She and I bonded on Facebook a few years back over our love of everything Pete Cashmore. ::SIGH:: so dreamy. She is here today to talk to you all about her new adventure which included quitting her job and hitting the road. Pretty rad right?  I only have one more thing left to say ... HIT IT ALI!!! </editorsnote>

We’re in Spain!  The border change was a bit of an anti-climax.  I didn’t know what to expect but had the passports ready just in case and well…there wasn’t even a sign!  I literally looked at the Sat Nav and saw that ‘Rue’ had become ‘Calle’ and so we must be in Spain.  The weather here is so much better, the sun is almost always shining and we’re spending our days by the sea.  We’ve seen some spectacular sunsets and fallen asleep to the sounds of the ocean.  It really has given us those special moments we were looking for.

It’s not all been plain sailing though.  Today as we went to leave Bilbao, one of our favourite cities, the van wouldn’t start.  If we managed to get it to judder into life it would cut out the instant the foot left the accelerator.  We tried and we tried but no joy so we gave in and called the breakdown company.  Rain started to pour from the sky as we watched the van get towed away and I just felt heart broken.  What if this was the end?  What if the van couldn’t be fixed?  It’s old, maybe we pushed it too far.  I couldn’t help but cry.

We trekked into town with the belongings we could carry and settled down on a park bench.  The amazing thing about living in a campervan is that your home is wherever you want it to be from one day to the next.  The awful thing is that when it’s towed away you’re homeless. 

We sat in the park for hours on a rainy humid day, feeling miserable and terrified that this may signal the end of our amazing adventure.  After what seemed like an eternity the breakdown cover company confirmed it was just a broken seal in the fuel pipe and the van should be in full working order by tomorrow.  In the mean time we were to be put up in a fancy 4 star hotel.  So I sit here on a real bed, using the free wifi after a glorious shower wearing a crisp white towel with the world’s biggest grin on my face.  When life throws you lemons, grab some tequila and have yourself a party!

#thatisall

click here to follow Ali on twitter!

#NerdsUnite: Around the world with @HeatherReusz

<editorsnote> Nerds, meet my buddy Heather. She's a nerd who is currently living in Japan by way of Chicago. Yep, talk about a culture shock. She's here today to talk about her life, love (which she is currently balancing long distance) and all things nerd. I only have one more thing left to say ... HIT IT HEATHER!!!</editorsnote>

#TalkNerdyToMeLover's @HeatherReusz

I’ve had a crazy couple of weeks! This past week and a half has been Golden Week which is basically Japanese spring break. I knew that this was my last break before leaving Japan so I wanted to fit in as much sight-seeing and random adventures as possible. I knew exactly where I wanted to go too, Kyoto. As the old capital of Japan, there a ton of shrines and important historical sites in the area as well as some super cool nearby cities like Nara, home to the biggest Buddha statue in Japan, Osaka, with super amazing terrible for you food, and Hiroshima, which was a historical must-see for me. I won’t tell you all of the details but suffice to say it was an amazing trip that I thoroughly enjoyed.

I will share with you my favorite day of the trip though. It all started with a sudden change of plans. I was going to spend the day seeing the Golden Pavilion and Kiyomizu temple. However, that morning was cloudy. I wanted to be able to see the Golden Pavilion in sunlight to get the full effect so I hopped on a different train last minute to a temple called Fushimi Inari. Some of you other hardcore Japan nerds may know this temple as the one with thousands of tori gates in a row. It’s featured in plenty of animes where the main character runs through the winding tunnels of crimson gates. It was definitely on the top of my list of places to see in Kyoto. Once I got there, I started reading the guide book and stopped dead in my tracks. The gates all lead up to the top of a mountain. Cool. Except that I was nowhere near dressed or prepared to handle a two and a half mile hike up a mountain. I’ve gotten really into Japanese fashion. Anyplace where it is socially acceptable and encouraged for you to wear a black mini skirt with knee high socks, heels, and an oversized shirt is totally awesome in my opinion. So there I was staring at the gates up the mountain with my heels on and no water. I decided it was just time to put my big girl pants on, suck it up, and do it. I didn’t come across the country to NOT do this hike.

It was well worth it. There are no words that can describe how beautiful and peaceful it was on the path. When the sunlight hit the tori gates in just the right way, they shimmered. I swear I can understand why some people say it’s a path that can lead to inner enlightenment and peace.That’s not to say it was easy though! It was very hot. I huffed and puffed my way up taking frequent breaks. My legs ached for days but it was all worth it.

After my exhausting hike, it was only about 1 o’clock so I couldn’t very well call it a day. I took the train back, napping the whole way, to get to one of Kyoto’s most famous temples: Kiyomizu. It’s mainly notable for the fact that the whole thing was built off the side of a cliff using no nails in the construction. It also has a famous spring that people from all over Japan flock to drink from. Taking a drink for this spring supposedly grants you a wish if you wish and pray hard enough while drinking.

I was totally surprised by the size of the main temple off of the cliff. It was almost unbelievable that this thing was standing and stable let alone that no nails or anything like that was used in the construction.

There was a long line to get to the spring but I waited patiently to get my wish granted. The water from the spring is pumped into three overhead rivers. It comes down almost like a waterfall next to a platform. When it’s your turn to drink, you have to take this metal cup attached to a long bamboo pole to catch the water and then drink what you got out of your hands. I was surprised by how strong the water flow was. I almost lost my grip on the cup. Then there was the difficulty of trying to fish it back onto the platform without hitting anyone else. I got about three handfuls of water in my cup. Hopefully my wish will come true after all that.

After my fun afternoon at Kiyomizu, I headed towards a nearby shopping district: Gion. Gion is most famous for how well preserved it is. The shops and restaurants are very reminiscent of Kyoto in its heyday as the capital. The reason I was really interested in going though was because that’s one of the only places in modern Japan where you can catch a rare glimpse of geisha. I’ve been fascinated by the geisha culture and profession for many years now. Before you even ask the question, geisha are not prostitutes. That’s a myth that was really reinforced in post war Japan when prostitutes would dress in gaudy kimonos and paint their faces white to attract foreigners who came looking for “geisha”. A true geisha is a living piece of art. Literally, that’s what geisha translates to. They are trained in all traditional arts from dance to tea ceremony to conversation. They are the perfect hostess. It takes a lot to become a true geisha. It is a very respected and revered profession.

In the modern world though, it is slowly becoming less prominent. I knew the odds were against me to have a geisha spotting but I patiently strolled to streets seeing if I could catch a glimpse of one heading to an engagement. Lucky as I was, not only did I see one but two. They were hurrying along the street to get to their destination. A couple of people approached and asked for pictures but they continued on ignoring them. I thought I would give it a shot as well. I approached and tried my best in my stumbling and broken Japanese to ask them for a photo while bowing just to show how passionate about this I was. They got a kick out of it and said sure. So to these two lovely ladies: Thank you for making my life!!!

#nerdsunite

click here to follow Heather on Twitter!