Fun with #OkCupid: A dude in the OKC corral (the dating slump)

<editorsnote> Nerds, meet my buddy Kenny. We e-met through OKC and although we've never gone out on a date, he was inspired by my documentation of my online search for love, that he wanted to come on board and provide male insight into OKC. So here you go ... and now we're here ... HIT IT KENNY!!</editorsnote>

#TalkNerdyToMeLover's @casetines

I’m all out of love, I’m so lost without you, I’m sitting at home, alone on a Friday.

Oh, hi.  I didn’t see you there.  Come on in and have a seat, I’ve made Bagel Bites.  I’m so glad you made it.  Look how far we’ve come, my baby.  No, WAIT, COME BACK!  Sorry, I won’t do that again.  I swear…  by the moons and the stars in the sky.

Seriously, L-O-L-J-K, K?  I want to have a chat.  Please stick around for awhile.

The reason that I invited you over here was because I’m in a slump.  Yeah, that’s right.  A dating slump.  I don’t know what to do but maybe we could talk it out.  How’d I get into this slump?  Well, ever since January when I had a trio of dates that went varying levels of nowhere, I can’t buy a good date.  And trust me, I’ve tried.  The escort service was like “No. Stop calling.  We no want your business.” 

The last girl I went out with invited me over to her place and then rejected me when I tried to make a move.  I’m still trying to remove the dagger from my heart on that one, but it’s stuck in there like the sword in the stone.  The girl before that was great up until the moment she told me that she didn’t see a romantic relationship in our future.  Oh, the girl before that?  She was awesome!  I wonder what ever happened to her, since she stopped returning my texts.

What’s a guy to do?  Get back on the horse?  Oh yeah, that wasn’t a problem.  I did get right back on the horse.  It’s not like K-Steins was about to give up, ya dig?  I kept moving, kept shaking, kept the booty quaking.  At least I tried and I tried to try.  What happened?  Not a single response.

It’s like the K-Man was throwing bait in the water over and over again and kept catching tuna cans.  I cannot eat a tuna can, I am not a goat.  Maybe I should convert to Goattism. 

However, as a current non-Goat, a man must figure out what to do when his dating life has hit the skids.  He must realize that not only does one ride the horse (or the goat, or a goat riding a horse flying on the wings of an eagle) but that man cannot ride horse if man does not mount horse.  I’ve been flailing and jumping trying to get on the horse as if I am Peter Dinklage, but I can’t give up just because I failed.  Eventually I’ll get onto the horse and mount the horse.  The horse may not ride, but with enough trying I will have success.

It’s like anything else in life; hard work breeds success.  Nothing comes for free.

It’s like Martha Washington once said: “Gotta get that.  Gotta get that.  Gotta get that BOOM BOOM BOOM!”

Been awhile since you’ve had a good date?  Don’t worry, they will come.  It’s like they say, you miss 100% of the shots you don’t take…

Wait, that doesn’t really make any sense.  How can you miss something you don’t take?  Doesn’t seem fair.  How about this: You will never have sex again if you never have sex again.  You miss 100% of the girls or guys you don’t date.  You can’t find love if you’re lookin’ for a porcupine sitting on a tuffet.  (That last one is something I just imagined Paula Deen saying.)

Don’t fret pets and I won’t fret either.  Slumps happen but you have to break out of a slump, it won’t happen on it’s own.  You’re a baby raptor, trying to break out of it’s little baby shell so get out there and attack some people.  Wait, that doesn’t sound right.  I mean in the metaphorical sense of a raptor attacking it’s prey, but like, instead of that I mean knocking boots and stuff.

Does that make more sense?

Thanks for listening.  Thanks for sharing.  I don’t know what I’d do without you.  Seriously.  How do I live without you?  I want to know.  How do I breathe without you?  By sucking in and out air?  Not good enough.  Must suck love. 

Wait….

#thatisall

Want some more from Kenny? Follow him on twitter over yonder!

and don't forget to check out his blog!! <----- good shit!

#GeekSpeak: @Maj_g's love that seems not to be (mass effect)

<editorsnote> Nerds, meet my buddy LaShaun. We play trivia together every Tuesday, and HOLY HELL this dude is good!! For reals, he knows a lot of random things, and is genuinely also a rad human being. I only have one more thing left to say ... HIT IT LASHAUN!!! </editorsnote>

#TalkNerdyToMeLover's @Maj_G

One of the most anticipated games of the year is set to be released today and despite my love for the series, I won’t be able to join in the festivities. I have both PS3 and Xbox 360 as well as the previous installments, and I could find some way to afford to preorder it despite my low income, so why won’t I be getting it? Because the Xbox 360 I have has been showing an error code 74 since March of 2010. For those who don’t know what that is, it is one of those infamous Red Rings of Death which plagued the original Xbox 360s. And mine happened just 3 months outside of the [extended] warranty, so Microsoft refused to extend any courtesies towards fixing it. What this means is that for a common problem that happens to Xboxes, I’m going to have to shell out $90. However, I am poor and have never made more than minimum wage, which means it will most likely take some time before I am able to get that done.

Luckily, most of the games I play are cross-platform, so if I really wanted to finish a title, I was able to simply get that title on PS3. I was able to do that for Dynasty Warriors: Gundam 2, Wet, and Midnight Club: Los Angeles. And yes, I realize that not too long ago, the Mass Effect series joined those titles which bridged across platforms. However, there is one extremely important difference which makes the Mass Effect series different from continuing titles like Elder Scrolls, Fallout, Grand Theft Auto, or even The Legend of Zelda. That difference is a feature which has been a staple of EA Sports’s football titles since the late 90s, but hasn’t really been seen elsewhere – the ability to transfer a custom character from one game to another. However, Mass Effect‘s version is a bit more advanced. See, in the original Mass Effect, Commander Shepard makes 3 major decisions which can change the course of the entire series including how s/he is treated and who interacts with him/her for the entire series. Not only that, but there are a number of smaller decisions made  during side quests which are continually referenced later in the series (for example, one particular hero-worshipper meets up with my Commander Shepard in ME2 and recounts how I punched him in the previous title. Punching him was a momentary Renegade option my character had taken despite him being a Paragon).

So why am I griping about this instead of being in line for the midnight release? Because when BioWare made the Mass Effectseries available for the PS3,  they only made 2/3 of it available. To make PS3 owners feel like they aren’t missing out, there was an interactive comic which was made as DLC and allows the player to make some of the decisions which should have been made to properly enjoy ME2. However, as someone who had a chance to play 1 & a bit of 2 on the 360, I feel robbed of an incredible opportunity to replay a series that I love. Especially since I do happen to know exactly the experience I’m missing out on. I want to re-experience that  hopeless firefight and get to the end only to realize I must sacrifice a crew member. I want to prove to the other races that humans are worthy of joining their ranks after experiencing the doubts of [Shepard's] ability. Not letting me undergo the journey firsthand just feels like it cheapens the experience. And in this case, I can’t allow myself to settle.

#thatisall

Agree or disagree with LaShaun? Tweet him!

#NerdsUnite: Makeup free monday (11 #nerds in their full morning glory!)

What I look like at the actual time of this post. Thankfully you can't smell me cause that shit be RANK!! Time to shower Jen Jen.I find the notion of honesty and transparency to be a fascinating thing. I literally spent 20 minutes on the phone with my corporate lawyer father a few weeks back asking for the legal definition of the word truth. (Think about that one.) All that I have learned on this little journey of mine is that EVERYTHING in life is perception. People are just being, and we all just ... are. Like energy will attract, and if you ever want to know more about yourself - take a look at your friends.

That being said, every time I've ever thought I was being "truthful" in hindsight I could see there were details being left out. It's not intentional, sometimes it's artistic that certain stories won't make sense with literally EVERY DETAIL EVER ... but what I choose to pull from each story says more about me than the story itself. It is my personal goal for 2012 to be a better storyteller and operate from more of a neutral state - always. That being said, I challenged the writers on this site to post a COMPLETELY makeup free/ unwashed face picture of themselves to encourage the entire community to be more transparent. 

I was excited that they were excited and all pretty gung-ho to do it ... ladies and germie men, I present to you some of the writers of @TNTML in all their glory ...

<tangent> I post pics of myself all the time without makeup so I one upped it by posting what I look like when I dye my hair. </tangent>

What did all of this teach me about the writers on this site and transparency?

In their most transparent state they are all alarmingly attractive people. Ahhhh fuck.

#thatisall

UPDATE: and here is Ms. @JennHoffman first thang in ze morning ...

b.e.a.-utiful. Rock on nerderinos!!!!!

#NerdsUnite: I just graduated college!! But um, now what? (Agoraphobia and me)

<editorsnote> Nerds, meet my buddy Megan. She recently just graduated from SDSU and is now entering the world with a fresh pair of eyes in a stinky economy. In these series of posts she will discuss her thoughts and discoveries as she ventures out into the real world. Hit it Meg!!! </editorsnote>

#TalkNerdyToMeLover's @MegCorbs

Here is the 2nd installment of what I loving call: Anxiety is an asshole that I kicked to the curb. First installment can be found here, 2nd here. I'm hoping that by sharing my story I can somehow help anyone dealing with anxiety and show you know that if I can beat it so can you!

******

When I left off in my story I had just had my massive panic attack. The first of many.

In the following years things started to get progressively worse. I was anxious 100% of the time and I couldn't stop worrying if my life depended on it. The occasional panic attacks became daily panic attacks which then led to agoraphobia.

Agoraphobia is "an anxiety disorder defined as a morbid fear of having a panic attack or panic-like symptoms in a situation where it is perceived to be difficult (or embarrassing) to escape" Thanks for that definition wikipedia!

I became a pro at feeling when my panic level was rising and escape to the nearest bathroom where I could sweat it out (literally) in peace but this didn't stop the anxiety of having one in class, on campus, at the grocery store, etc.

If I needed to go somewhere (and I would usually wait until the last possible second) I would try to drag someone with me and if I couldn't do that, then I would trace the steps of what I was going to do over and over in my head so as not to make a mistake and embarrass myself thus leading to panic attacks. To this day I still have the habit of doing this while waiting in line somewhere to order something. For example, I will say 'grande caramel macchiato' over and over and over in my head while waiting in line at Starbucks.

Looking back I should have known my repeat process was flawed. I am the CLUMSIEST person on the planet. So repeating my drink order over and over and over wasn't going to stop me from dropping my change while handing it to the barista.

All of this led to me turning into a MEGA-BITCH. When you are completely on edge (both physically and mentally) 24/7, anyone adding anything to that will set you off. I would CONSTANTLY snap on my friends. I was always irritated so it didn't take much.

Treating my friends like shit was the final straw. These people where the ones there for me (and still are) and I would turn bitch in a matter of seconds on them. Girls the best example I have of this that REALLY bad day of PMS where everything and everyone annoys you so you flip out easily. Yup that was this girl!

I knew that I needed help. If anything, just to leave my apartment without freaking out would be such a relief.

Next up: Convincing those who tell me "you just need to learn how to cope."

#nerdsunite

Click here to follow Megan on twitter and check out her blog here

Want to take it out of 140 characters? Email: Mcorbett10@gmail.com

#NerdsUnite: Losing your life support- the tale of a habitual phone loser & hoarder

<editorsnote> Nerds, meet my buddy Jennifer. She's a muse for hire and social media writer and consultant that is passionate about comic books and video games. Um, hello? Nerd-goddess? Is that you? This chick is the shizzy shiznat, and she has a lot of adventures. So, like, go follow 'em! </editorsnote>

#TalkNerdyToMeLover's @scandalous

Remember back in the day when Zach from Saved by the Bell pulled out that huge brick and started talking on his cell phone and everyone just swooned?  (I mean where did he manage to put that thing anyway? Wink wink nudge nudge)

Nowadays a phone isn't just a luxury or a toy carried by fancy cats with big hair.  It's more uncommon for someone to NOT have a phone than to have one.  So uncommon that I can probably count the amount of friends (including myself) who have phone numbers memorized.  This is not good.  It's really not good. 

Enter the habitual phone loser and hoarder.  Yep that's me.  I don't know what it is about my phone, and one year it even was my purse too  An embarrassing fact to admit: on average, my phone has either been lost or stolen once or twice a year.  It's... not a pretty tale for my pocketbook.

Last weekend was yet another adventure in that realm.  Joy.

My son and I decided to go to a thrift store and were playing around.  My oldest son lives with my dad in the suburbs.  He has the opportunity to go to better schools there as I am currently living and working downtown.

Going to a thrift store with me is a guaranteed adventure in sillytown.  Add little mini me to the mix and you can kind of get the idea.

We were looking for things that his little sister and brother would enjoy.  They live with their dad which is another story. We saw a rejected toy from Playfish with a strangely placed plastic hole in it.  I have no idea what it was for but my son had an idea as he started to pull the plush back over it.

"What are you doing?"

"Mom he needs to hide his pee pee."

I took my cell phone out and started filming him.  I put it back into my pocket and we continued to walk around.

Afterwards we saw a plastic slide.

"Ethan go slide down the slide!"

"No Mom."

"Ethan it's a SLIDE.  You're a kid.  Now go over there and have fun."

He remained put and crossed his arms.

"Fine. I'm going to do it then." I said as I gave him my cell phone.

Ethan watched me as I walked over to the slide.

"Man I really hope my big butt can fit on here."

Two other kids were watching us at this point.  They were laughing.

My son had my phone and insisted that he film it too.  I looked at the Nintendo 64 controller in his hand and had an idea.

"Ethan either you get on that slide and start acting like a kid already or I'm not going to get you that controller."

Begrudgingly he got up on the slide.

"Start having fun already!"

He laughed.  My hero and I have such a great time together.  So much of a good time that things got carried away.  Like... literally... because that's one of the last things that I remember.  Because as I was going to look at something I must have put my cell phone down.  And the next minute, it was gone.  Really gone.  Like, looked all over and still couldn't find it gone.

I had a spare cell phone at home.  And, I'm not going to even lie, there were some pictures on it that I probably wouldn't have been too keep with everyone seeing but that really didn't bother me.  What bothered me the most were the Christmas pictures I'd taken of Ethan that I hadn't posted or sent to family... and these 2 videos.

So now what?  Now I get to deal with the joy of yet another cell phone disappearing.  Of having to learn a whole other format of OS.  Of having to change a myriad of passwords.  Of losing an abundance of text messages from relationships past.  Of losing... memories.  All because I.. couldn't remember how it happened in the first place.

How many people here can actually say they remember five friend's phone numbers without looking at their cell phones?  How long could you last without having your cell phone?  How would YOU react if you lost your smartphone and all of the content you've done over the past 6 months?

I encourage you to share more in my adventures living and loving downtown paired with technology, art, dating, and more of this Little Girl in a Big City on my blog. Or if you want even more, you can find more about me on my.. about me page (imagine that).  But don't expect me to have your number memorized anytime soon.

#thatisall

Click here to follow Ms. Scandalous on twitter, and follow her blog over yonder!