#TrueStory: My Conversation With A Spider

<editorsnote> Nerds, meet my buddy Jen. She's a wife, mother, photographer, spunky, brutally honest, and like everyone else, still trying to figure out what all of those labels mean.  I only have one more thing left to say ... HIT IT JEN!!! !!</editorsnote>

#TalkNerdyToMeLover's Jen Swedhin

After getting out of the shower this morning, I saw a small-ish creepy brown spider trying to get out of the sink. Instinct kicked in and I turned on the water and started rinsing him down. He fought it hard, and my empathy kicked in. “You’re right, that was rude, I’m sorry.” I literally said that out loud as I turned off the water.

As a side note, those of you that know me know that I don’t kill spiders. I don’t kill bugs in general, except mosquitoes and flies. I relocate. I’m not scared of bugs or creepy crawlies. Usually.

I watched him struggle against the wet porcelain for a few seconds. I decided to throw him a lifeline. Without thinking I grabbed a Q tip and stuck it in front of him to help transport him to somewhere dry. He immediately darted up towards my hand at the speed of light, so fast that I did a spider spaz and threw the entire rig on the floor.

Staring down in pity at his crumpled and twitching body, I felt an inkling of guilt. “Listen man, I want to help you out.” Yeah, I was talking to a tiny spider, and not feeling weird about it at all. “Here’s what I need from you. You eat these flies. All of them. In return I’ll let you live. One more thing, I don’t want you scaring the poops out of me when I come in here in the morning. Actually, I don’t want you scaring the poops out of me anytime of day.”

He seemed to take the deal, so I went on with my moisturizing routine. Which really just means lotion, it just sounds nicer. I turned around and there he was, heading towards me, dragging a leg that must have been broken during the spider spaz toss. He stopped in the exact place I stand to dry my hair. He worked on fixing his leg. For what seemed like hours. He fixed it. And fixed it. And eventually I got tired of waiting. I even asked him to move, reminding him of our deal, and that I had hair to dry and lashes to curl. And still he stayed.

Again, without thinking, I grabbed a Q tip to give him a little prod. The speedy bastard ran up the Q tip and gave me a full sized heart attack. Again. Then he jumped straight up at my face, getting a solid foot of air. Twice. He pushed through the pain of the broken leg and ran in big circles all over the bathroom floor at speeds I wasn’t aware were allowed in a tiny bathroom dwelling spider. While I sat cowering in the corner being pissed that a spider actually scared me, he ran and hid under a pair of underwear. I pulled myself together and finished the morning routine.

Spider, you are on probation. Scare the poops out of me again and I will be terminating our arrangement. I mean, really, I was quite clear on my expectations. Turning into a speedy jumping spider was totally unnecessary.

#thathappened

#NerdsUnite: An ode to my 28th year

<editorsnote> Nerds, meet my buddy Jen. She's a wife, mother, photographer, spunky, brutally honest, and like everyone else, still trying to figure out what all of those labels mean.  I only have one more thing left to say ... HIT IT JEN!!! !!</editorsnote>

#TalkNerdyToMeLover's Jen Swedhin

As I stare down the barrel of my 29th birthday, my personal growth over the last year is coming into focus. And for the first time in maybe my entire adult life, I’m happy with me.

28 started the way any good birthday should - in a drunken haze with my best friends. But this one was different. I was circling the drain on several friendships - longterm, beautiful, happy friendships that I valued. But still, they were failing.

It wasn’t until my birthday that I understood why - the value wasn’t mutually exclusive. I cared about these relationships far more than they did. I didn’t realize it until one of my closest friends, someone I have loved since sophomore year of high school, didn’t come to my party. My trite, silly, full of liquor and shenanigans and stupidness party. She wanted to bring her boyfriend. I said no. “I would love to come, but together.” Hard limit for me: don’t bring your boyfriend on a girls night out.

Thank you. Thank you for showing me that our time together isn’t an important part of your life. Thank you for making the decision to walk away an easy one. And thank you for not showing up and bringing your soon-to-be ex.

28 has also showed me that I am a generous to a fault, and I am finally okay with that. I am a giver - of my time, my talents, my love, my everything. I over-give, and it gets me into trouble, but instead of hating that about myself, and wishing I could say no easier, I am embracing it. The key here is learning balance. I will give, but I can also now receive. And I expect it.

No more giver/taker relationships. No more being there anytime someone needs me only to be left alone when my turn to need comes up. While I’m still the most flexible person in all of my relationships, I am also good at saying, “No, that doesn’t work for me. This is what I am willing to give, what I need in return, take it or leave it.” And I’m finally okay with letting people make that choice.

I can’t change anyone else, I can’t make decisions for them. All I can do is communicate openly, manage expectations, and adjust the way their choices affect me.

Progress, and that feels good. Do I still take someone’s inability to give back to me personally? Oh yeah. Big time. But hey, there’s still 29.

#nerdsunite

#Project365 | My week in review

#TalkNerdyToMeLover's @JenSquard

Here is a little bit of what I've been up to this week:

Want to see more?  Check out my photoblog: blog.jenswedhinphotography.com

#ProjectThreeSixFive: A week in review

#TalkNerdyToMeLover's @JenSquard

Here are a couple pictures from my 365 Project from this week:

Wanna see more?  I don't blame you!  Check out the photoblog: blog.jenswedhinphotography.com

#ProjectThreeSixFive: Day 32

#TalkNerdyToMeLover's @JenSquard

 Laundry = lamesauce.  With five of us living here we have shit tons of laundry, it is totally out of control.  I prefer to wash a ton and then fold it all at once, so our couches are constantly covered in clean clothes.  We hate it, but the cats think it makes an excellent perch.