If you are constantly seeing "do the creep" posts and comments, or hearing people mentioning "the creep" but have no idea what they are talking about....well here you go. The Creep:
@JenSquard | tagged digital short, do the creep, jen squard, jen swedhin, saturday night live, snl, the creep, the loney island | 
The show was GREAT. So soooo good, he totally delivered and lived up to expectations. He is a dirty man! And I loved every single second of his nastiness. My favorite thing about Norm is he is massively scattered - he starts a joke, wanders off to a different story, goes back to it, and then remembers what he was talking about ten minutes later, but it’s all seamless. Not even kidding, I just wanted to pinch his face right off the entire time. He's just like the crotchety nasty old man that says wild things and endlessly talks about cheese sandwiches and cocks, but you can't stop listening. And we got a treat - he went waaayyyyy over schedule, it was amazing. His opening act was pretty frickin funny, too.
My favorite bit by Norm was this super long joke about masterbating on women’s feet and that weird fetish. There was a lot of masterbation talk, but the foot thing just killed me. I totally dated a guy that had a foot thing. Yikes.
But yeah, Norm still has it. He is funny as hell and had my hubby giggling like a school girl the entire night. I mostly skipped giggling and went straight to crying. Good good stuff. And now I feel like I'm one step closer to My Adam. *sigh*
Aaaah, Brian. This guy is something special, I’m not even joking. Things have been a little funky at our house the last couple of weeks. Everything is totally fine, we just haven’t gotten tons of chances to connect. I have been putting every spare moment into rebuilding my site and changing content and fixing links and so on, and he has been spending all of his spare moments fixing the things I break on the site, and going through the backend and figuring out why things are being so insanely uncooperative.
On top of that I had to cut him off from the sexing. I hate hate hate to have to do that, but that is THE ONLY thing that will motivate him. Seriously, that is it. We have been in the process of remodeling our garage into a master bedroom for almost a year now. It was supposed to be livable by the time Cadence was born...but now she is 7 months and it isn’t even wired. The only time he works on it is when his brother or parents come over and help, and they live way far away, so it’s only happened a few times. So he has hit a dry patch until our next inspection. Sucky, but he is working on it for the first time ever.
But he has been sooooo great these last couple of weeks. Totally supportive of me in everything I try to do. He built my wedding expo wall, and got my subdomain pointing in the right direction, even when GoDaddy said it couldn’t be done. And and and and he bought us tickets to see Norm MacDonald tonight! YESSSSSSS! He’s been staying up late every single night working on stuff, and coming home from work early when I need him to.
And this is what I found when I went to bed last night:
So Brian, your dry spell is over. For a minute. Then it’s right back to it, mister. But live it up, man, this is your time to shine!
Is there anything more amazing than this Brazillian taxi cab driver beat boxing while singing exactly like MJ? The answer is no, there is nothing more amazing than this. Love it sooooo so much!
I was thinking about some of the weird stuff that makes me, well, me, and thought I would share it with you. Here are some little known facts about me:
I like wet sandwiches and dry pasta.
I can small pheromones. No joke, if you are horny, I can smell it.
Caffeine makes me sleepy.
I played the violin for 7 years, but couldn’t play 5 notes today.
I can drink 5 long island iced teas without puking.
Everyone called me Jennifer until college.
I hate milk but love cheese.
TNTML is the only time I have ever written anything for anyone outside of school.
I know how to knit but don’t have time to do it.
I am an excellent cook, but prefer to bake.
I’m allergic to citrus fruits, tape, coffee, grass, and my dogs.
My sense of humor is verrrrrry dry with a few dashes of sarcastic.
I could live on potatoes for every meal, but hate sweet potatoes.
My memory is terrible, and I am missing most of my memories from high school.
I’m artistic but can’t draw. Like at all.
I’m self conscious of my smile.
I never wear underwear.
I eat when I’m bored.
I have worked in a sex shop, a pole dancing studio, as a custom perfume designer, at a secretarial office, in a hardware store, as a maintenance girl at an RV park, as a telemarketer, as a custom invitation designer, and at a tanning salon.
I earned a degree in Biology and love dissecting animals.
I discovered a 100-year-old artifact during an expedition in our town.
I very strongly dislike old people.
I lost my license when I was 16.
Follow me on Twitter and tell me about what make you, you! @JenSquard
