#Randombling: Saintpepsi

#TalkNerdyToMeLover's  @saintpepsi 

Randombling: A 5 minute long unedited random stream of consciousness produced by a nerd for nerds.

#nowplaying: Set me free - Wicked Wisdom

Twas not but a few months ago that my brother hit me up with a query that i found most intriguing.  He asked me this.  When you wipe your ass do you wipe it sitting down or standing up?  Well I said to him of course I wipe it standing up.  How would you wipe it sitting down.  He went on to explain that apparently after someone caught him wiping his ass standing up they mocked him for his inability to wipe sitting down.  Apparently this is how most people wipe there asses.  You lean forward and stick your hand behind you and into the toilet.  O.o Oh hell no!  I'm sorry, but i just shit in that toilet.  No way will I ever stick my hand into a basin of water with turds floating in it. Course I'm a pretty curious guy and usually open to trying new things. Even though I still just don't feel I could get my butt super clean by wiping like that.  Either way I wan't to know how all this went down and tried it later. To my surprise your hand actually gets no where near the water.  Just in case though, I made extra super sure I didn't hit a bobbing turd and  went ahead and flushed to toilet. Tried it later the other way and nothing could obstruct my hand from the aforementioned wiping.  So I guess you can wipe your ass however you want to.  It's not like somewhere back in the history of shit people pass on someone said, "Hey! wipe your ass while your sitting down." No way did that happen.  We never used to wipe our asses sitting down it was standing up.  It wasn't until toliets came around.  So this is a relatively new thing as far as sense the dawn of human kind.  So that means some random person started making fun of someone else for standing up to wipe and it spread like wild fire that was unspoken because lets face it. Boy code dictates we not speak in the bathroom. I digress.  You should wipe your ass however you like. the important thing is that it's clean and you don't get shit on your hand. 

 To all you out there that read this randombling I ask you this.  How do you wipe your ass?  Also do you fold or scrunch up toilet paper to wipe. 

Tell Jordan how much you LOOVEEDD his article on twitter here.

lol Infection

#TalkNerdyToMeLover's @SaintPepsi

I was talking with a prospective new writer for the site tonight when I noticed; I tend to add the acronym of lol after every sentence, sometimes at the beginning and if I really did laugh out loud twice. I have LOL, I know! The Doctor said it's incurable. Like smoking, ridiculously hard to kick this habit. I feel like this is a typing virus that has some how taken my IMing by storm. Do any of use really lol when we write lol. Now we have other terms to show just how funny things are like ROFL or LMAO. Both of these equally not done in truth. When I watch a video that makes me laugh a lot I don't usually roll on the floor laughing.

Now as a person that prides himself on always telling the truth I have found this little acronym has me lieing more than those little acknowledgments of reading at the end of legal gibber jabber you have to click to accept new software. Yeah no one reads those yet we always click and go. Some of those probably have clauses that have allowed corporations to buy our souls. Seriously, if I was Satan I would put a clause in the Apple Updates for IPOD's that specifically asked if I could own your soul. I could get the souls of billions of humans in one click. I digress.

These acronyms we us in Texting, IMing, or any internet, writing have turned us all into type zombies. Just think of the space we could save on twitter if we just stopped using them. You could probably get in a whole word more. More importantly, it would make room for punctuation something that Twitter has destroyed. So next time you are LOLing stop and think did I really LOL or should I have saved that for a really funny moment. You are wasting the good LOL's for times that don't really deserve them.  

Tell Jordan how much you LOOVEEDD his article on twitter here.