<editorsnote> Nerds, meet my buddy Megan. She recently just graduated from SDSU and is now entering the world with a fresh pair of eyes in a stinky economy. In these series of posts she will discuss her thoughts and discoveries as she ventures out into the real world. Hit it Meg!!! </editorsnote>
#TalkNerdyToMeLover's @MegCorbs
Here is the 5th installment of what I loving call: Anxiety is an asshole that I kicked to the curb. First installment can be found here, 2nd here 3rd here and 4th here. I'm hoping that by sharing my story I can somehow help anyone dealing with anxiety and show you that if I can beat it so can you!
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My last post left off with me convincing my mom I needed help.
After I talked to my mom, I scheduled an appointment with Dr. R, who came highly recommended by a friend. To say I was nervous the days leading up the the appointment was an understatement. But the second I met her I felt this odd calm. She was so incredibly sweet and soft-spoken.
We had an hour and a half session and in that time she just let me talk about my past and present issues with anxiety and depression. I ended up balling like a baby because most of the stuff I was telling her, I hadn't talked to anyone about…EVER. Then she explained that I'm not a freak and why I was feeling the way I was.
In most cases depression and anxiety go hand in hand and while I was able to kick the depression, the anxiety chose to stick around, which is usually what happens. Due to my CONSTANT anxiety I was diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety Disorder which is an anxiety disorder that is characterized by excessive, uncontrollable and often irrational worry about everyday things that is disproportionate to the actual source of worry. This excessive worry often interferes with daily functioning, as individuals suffering GAD typically anticipate disaster, and are overly concerned about everyday matters such as health issues, money, death, family problems, friend problems, relationship problems or work difficulties (thanks for that definition Wikipedia).
Remember how I mentioned all the horrible physical issues I was having too because of the anxiety? Here is a list that Wikipedia gives: Individuals often exhibit a variety of physical symptoms, including fatigue, fidgeting, headaches,nausea, numbness in hands and feet, muscle tension, muscle aches, difficulty swallowing, bouts of difficulty breathing, difficulty concentrating,trembling, twitching, irritability, agitation, sweating, restlessness, insomnia, hot flashes, and rashes and inability to fully control the anxiety.
Fun, huh?
As far as the panic attacks go, she explained that it is basically your body unnecessarily triggering your Fight or Flight reflex.
By the end of the appointment she had tentatively diagnosed me with G.A.D., panic disorder and underlying depression and prescribed me a low dose of an SSRI (Selective Serotonin Re-Uptake Inhibitors) with instructions to come back often in the next couple of months to regulate the drug and get the dosage just right.
While I am no doctor, here is what Dr. R was able to explain to me and I'll try my best to explain to you. Basically people with anxiety are known to get sudden surges of serotonin (a neurotransmitter) and SSRI's help to level it out and have a constant flow. The reason they also work with depression is it ups the serotonin that is most likely lacking.
The SSRI she prescribed is called Zoloft, which I have to take daily. While it is an anti-depressant it targets the same area of the brain as depression, anxiety and PTSD. With my history of depression she felt like it would be best to go this route, instead of just a straight up anxiety medicine, as a preventative measure.
She was awesome when she prescribed it to me and explained EVERYTHING in detail. Not in a way too dumbed down that it offends me way but in a I'm sorry you're going through this and I'll show how this will help way. Of all the SSRI's it's best to start with Zoloft. I was INCREDIBLY lucky to have the first prescription work without any bad side effects. Usually it takes a little playing around to find the right pill and dose (the dosage did take a few months though). The reason most doctors start with Zoloft is because it is in the middle of the scale. She explained it like there is the chamomile tea of SSRI's all the way to the Red Bull's and Zoloft is in the middle.
I also got a prescription for Lorazepam (it's similar to Xanax) but I didn't like it. Dr. R wanted me to take it to stop the panic attacks that would still happen until the Zoloft got completely into my system (takes up to a month). These medicines are just a short-term fix, so be careful if you are prescribed them because they can be habit forming. The Lorazepam just made me fall asleep so while it was nice to have while I was still getting panic attacks I didn't like the way it made me feel and I haven't taken it in years.
A lot of people look down on using medicine for mental health. While I agree that it isn't a quick fix, it is nothing to be simply dismissed. In addition to my medicine, I've had to do a LOT of soul searching and finding an outlet when I'm anxious (reading and writing). But for me, medicine saved my life. I don't care how over-the-top it sounds, the daily panic attacks were taking a HUGE toll on my body.
One of my biggest pet peeves is when people think medicine for anxiety, depression, etc is a joke, or doesn't work or there is a better way. If you don't/didn't need it, than that's fantastic! But when you say harsh words about something that could potentially help someone, you don't know the long term ramifications you can have on people that it CAN help. I personally would have been AT LEAST ONE YEAR ahead of where I am now.
Remember it is YOUR mental health. No one is in your head but you! Don't let anyone push you INTO OR AWAY from something that affects only you. I'm not writing this to be pro-medicine but anti-anxiety. Medicine and even writing these series of posts as helped me, but what is going to help you?
The medicine hasn't changed who I am. It has just made me a happier and healthier person. It took away the bitchiness and agoraphobia and let me LIVE LIFE again. One day I do hope to get off of the medicine, but until then I'm just so incredibly grateful to have a handle of my life, not something I could have said a few years ago.
Next Up: Me Now.
Click here to follow Megan on twitter and check out her blog here
Want to take it out of 140 characters? Email: Mcorbett10@gmail.com
The thing I love most is how Bri’s voice COMPLIMENTS the music, not overtakes it. Don’t get me wrong, this girl has a set of pipes on her but she doesn’t feel the need to show them off unnecessarily. She lets herself become almost secondary to the array of instruments which honestly just shows off her talent more.
TNTML | tagged 
