#Fact: Losing Your Virginity CAN Be An Amazing Experience

<editors note> Nerds, meet Brian Freedman!! He is 24, and has spent over four years answering men and women's relationship questions through various sites. He also loves some comedy, so he combined the two into a web series called Spitfire where he answers relationship topics, with humor ⎯ new videos every 1st & 15th.  Go watch.  youtube.com/ImBrianFreedman. If you don't like 'em, he'll bake you pie.  Mmmm... piiiiiiieeee. K. That is all.  </editors note>

#TalkNerdyToMeLover's Brian Freedman

It's true a lot of people's first time's are quite possibility their worst. Let's see if we can change that.

Generally people talk about the emotional mindset going into bed their first time, but the physical aspect also plays a major role into a woman's expectations (she is being repeatedly shanked by a penis, after all).  It would be easy to tell these women to have the lowest expectations they can think of and expect no fun or pleasure for their first experience with good ole twig n berries, and then they wouldn't be disappointed because they will believe it will be bad in the first place.  But since that's a dumb and partially cruel answer, the first thing an absentee woman can do to prepare herself is masturbate (This is where the physical comes into play of her view of how sex should feel).

A woman can't go into sex without even knowing what it's like when something's inside her, let alone never experiencing an orgasm. Practice makes perfect. Although self-gratification isn't the same as sex, it allows a woman to explore her body and find out what feels good to her and what are the right, "OH YEAH!" spots to hit. If she physically doesn't know what she wants because she has not figured out what feels good for her, then the guy will fail miserably at fulfilling such erroneous erogenous zones. When she knows she loves having her breasts cupped while playing with her vulva, she can then communicate that to her partner and he will drive her wild.

After she knows what she wants, I urge women to practice asking for what they want. They should have this talk with their boyfriends or soon-to-be-husbands several times prior to their first time - practicing being comfortable with open, honest communication about asking for pleasure in the bedroom. If a woman knows what feels good but is too embarrassed or ashamed of asking, then her first and every time after will be an unpleasant one.

Stay in the moment. Be present. It's important for a woman to be with her partner mentality and emotionally, as well as physically. It's very easy for women to be thinking about dishes, what they have to do the next day, how are they going to pay off the credit card debt, ect. while having sex, and that can bring up a lot of anxiety and lower their performance and happiness. It's especially difficult for women who will be having sex for the first time with their man because they will be compelled to have thoughts of, "Am I doing this right?" and "Is he happy?"  The best thing for her to do is not stay in her own head, and communicate those very concerns to him, so he can give her reassurance or directions, thus making the experience not only wonderful and amazing, but memorable for years to come.

#nerdsunite

Check out more from Brian over yonder ...
YouTube: youtube.com/ImBrianFreedman
Facebook: facebook.com/pages/Brian-Freedman/119790301389812

#Question: What is the difference between being in “love” and being “comfortable”?

<editors note> Nerds, meet Brian Freedman!! He is 24, and has spent over four years answering men and women's relationship questions through various sites. He also loves some comedy, so he combined the two into a web series called Spitfire where he answers relationship topics, with humor ⎯ new videos every 1st & 15th.  Go watch.  youtube.com/ImBrianFreedman. If you don't like 'em, he'll bake you pie.  Mmmm... piiiiiiieeee. K. That is all.  </editors note>

#TalkNerdyToMeLover's Brian Freedman

“I’m 25 & been with a girl over a year and throughout half our relationship all we do is argue, which is bringing me down.  She also has a kid which I can't get used to.  I find it hard to leave her mostly based on looks because Im afraid I won't find someone as pretty, even though I said that about my ex and found prettier.
Am I settling?
Am I not leaving cuz I'm scared to be alone?
So am I comfortable or am I in love?" {Jim S}


"Am I settling?"
Yes.  Your main motivation for the relationship is her looks & your insecurity to find another woman just as bonerrific.  You want to base a partnership with someone who is attractive, and a really cool person who's your friend.  If you weren't dating her, would you consider her a great friend that you can call on to hang out or depend on?
 
Settling is giving up on any reasonable standard of happiness, which you are currently doing.
 
“Am I not leaving cuz I'm scared to be alone?”
Obviously.  I'm 24, single & never been in a relationship and couldn't be happier.  If you want to wake up with a smile everyday, it has to be a choice.  It sounds like being alone for awhile is the best way to help figure out what truly matters to you in a relationship, a life partnership & life in general.
 
“So am I comfortable or am I in love?”
Neither.  You're complacent.  And your complacency is routed in fear, not love or joy.
 
I wish the best for you, in that you will take the time to really consider, "What makes me happy?" and for a time, begin removing aspects of your life that don't fulfill that purpose.  You may be better off to take a couple months to be alone, and spend your time with people and activities that bring about your soul’s identity.

#nerdsunite

Check out more from Brian over yonder ...

YouTube: youtube.com/ImBrianFreedman

Facebook: facebook.com/pages/Brian-Freedman/119790301389812

They're Talking Nerdy Baby: #NerdsUnite

Wow. Wow. Wow. The comments, tweets, and emails today about my date last night have been making my LIFE!!! Thank you guys so so so so much for the support. (If you haven't read the latest, this dude made me fucking cry, man. I never cry ... ever. He kicked me while I was down TWICE IRL, and then once on skype.) It's funny, I'm currently helping out Marni at @WingGirlMethod with her social media, and we just had our weekly call - she goes, does that dude have aspergers?? I started laughing so hard. hahaha, no, he's a rad dude - but we were clearly sending 100 mixed messages to each other, and then we were both radically honest which was just a recipe for disaster.

Horrible.

Horrible.

Horrible. Date.

Worst ever, want nothing to do with the dude.

But yeah, read the story here - and here's a bitchin email I got in response from it that I wanted to share ...

Couple of things.

I won't post about a dude that I like until I feel him out a bit. I would never ever ever post on a dude that I like, or post on things that happened until things were out of "stage 1." I can't do it - it gives an unfair advantage to the dude by being able to hear my inner most thoughts, and takes away the thrill of the hunt.

It. Does. Not. Work. I learned that on my 103 dates, of the 4, there were 2 that I liked a lot, and posted about ... and then they got weird. So lesson learned.

I share my life with the world. Is it weird? Prolly, but for me it's 1 part spiritual, 1 part work, and all parts awesome. I came to life in ways I didn't know were possible when I started this site. I've always had bat shit experiences, and really really really weird encounters - now it's fodder for the site. Ah-mazing! So yeah, that's me, Jen, and my constant. I'm a people magnet, weird shit will ALLLWWAYYYSSSS happen.

Does it effect the pool from dudes that want to date me? 100%

Abso-freaking-lutely it does.

But if something this awesome made me come to life, I don't want a partner in my life in any capacity that isn't interested in being included. I do understand that when I do get in a relationship I will switch into more of a producer mode instead of content creator, but I will cross that bridge when I come to it.

It's absolutely INCREDIBLE though that I can be so down, and instead of wallowing in it, I release it in a post (which is cathartic in and of itself) then I read all the tweets, and emails ... and holy fuckerdy, you all make my life. The support that I have in this community is INCREDIBLE, and to say I am grateful for every second of it is an understatement - I fucking live for it.

So yeah, yesterday sucked. But today is a new day. I am considering moving on from OKC, and exploring other options. We shall see. I'm never ever ever going to give up on finding love. I can't! It's tattooed on my friggen wrist.

I made a lifetime commitment to it.

I love what I do for work, so that part of my life has a big fat checkmark next to it. The rest, I'll figure out. You can't force it, but I know ... I KNOW in my heart, I'll never give up ... I just also won't stop documenting the ride! =) =) =)

Here I go again ...

xoxoxo thanks for reaching out, man. Really appreciate it.

#nerdsunite

#NerdsUnite: 5 must haves for any nerdy adventures

I love love love me some adventures. Seriously, I live my life off of them. Big huge deal for me - they make me feel alive, and at peace all at the same time. It's nutty I say ... NUUUUTTTT-TY.

Here are my top 5 must haves for any nerdy adventure you may be thinking about having ... HIT IT!!

1. Sleeping mask.

I wake up in a LOT of weird places. (hahaha no sexual undertone to this either. I post when I get some in the puna-nananana) But seriously, so many times I've been staying with a new friend somewhere - and I've arrived late at night to only be woken up by the GNARLIEST light as their room is ENTIRELY white, and apparently facing east.

Sleep to me is everything. I take it very. very. very. seriously.

Also too, the second I put the mask over my eyes, my brain recognizes yep, it's sleep time - and I'm out like a light within 5 minutes. Which is great since I've had to sleep in so many places that my brain didn't register that "shut off" mode automatically - I had to train it.

You can keep it in your purse/ messenger bag/ or backpack - they're obviously super small. It's cool too if you're ever having to sleep in your car, make sure you keep an extra one in the glove compartment just incase. Saved me a NUMBER of times!!!

2. Hoodie

I. spend. my. life. in. hoodies.

Seriously!!! I literally LOVE having something cover my noggin (hence why I also love spirithoods so so much). Me thinks it's because I dig protecting the brain, but who knows.

Hoodies allow me to slip into another world, while providing extreme comfort while there. They're super soft, keep you super warm, and are absolutely 100% a REQUIREMENT for a nerdy adventure as they also keep you safe.

I haven't had a car in almost 8 months, so I have to walk everywhere. Have you guys seen the streets in LA? And late night public transportation? Not so nice!

What I do is I pull my hair back in a pony tail, like so ...

And then put the hoodie up over my hair to make me look more ambiguous.

A female's hair attracts a LOT of attention (as weird and archaic as that sounds). By pulling your hair back you look a bit more ambiguous which makes you less of a target. See, if someone's gonna rough you up, they want an easy target. Thieves, attackers - whatevs want the lowest hanging fruit, it's NOT personal. If they see my hair they will notice that I am female, and then quickly realize I am alone, BAM - I become a low hanging fruit. No bueno.

And put your hair in a ponytail too - I've noticed buns still stick out too much. Just keep it as easy and under the radar as possible.

3. Sunglasses

I'm a huuuggeeee fan of sunglasses. The bigger, and crazier looking the better.

Ah yes, but there is a method to this madness.

Like I said, I wear hoodies a lot, and have to take public transportation sometimes super late at night. Being a perpetual loaner, I am 99% of the time alone. What I do is not only put my hair up in the pony tail and the hood up, but I'll also throw on a pair of sunglasses for all late night bus ventures.

For reals, who is going to mess with the crazy looking chick in the back rocking a hoodie with the hood up in summer, AND wearing ridiculous looking sunglasses. Remember, if someone is going to attack you they want an easy target. It's nothing personal.

Also too, I'm a very expressive person. My eyes are SUPPPERRRR light, and show fear like a mofo. You can't show fear when you're living this kinda lifestyle. People pick up on it, and again - you become a target.

*knock on wood* I've been kept safe. No one messes with you when you look like you're insane.

WHO WEARS SUNGLASSES AT 2AM?!?!?! Who I ask you!! Who!! Someone who is bat shit crazy, and won't be messed with - THAT'S WHO!!

4. Headphones

OMMMGGGG headphones make my life. Like for really reals reals. These are from V-moda, and pretty rad - but any noise cancelling, or noise isolating headphones will totes save your life. I get to zone out into my own little world, and it's my safety. Whenever I feel awkward, or just want to escape - serenity is just a song away, just put 'em in and start jamming out. Love love love 'em! Cannot LIVE without headphones!!!!

5. Chargers

I always. always. always. have a ton of chargers on me. You cannot have an adventure if you run out of battery on your phone, or ipods. Absolutely MANNNDDAATTOOORRRYYY for you to stay up on your charging.

Couple things, don't ever. ever. ever. go to a Verizon store to buy your chargers. I can't speak for all phone manufactures, but corporate Verizon stores GOUGE you with their prices. The average wholesale price for a charger is LITERALLY a dollar or two - corporate stores can charge up to $45. Go online, buy after market - just don't ever ... and I mean evvveerrrrrr buy from corporate.

It's redic! But if you're ever in a jam, you can also call them out on it. I did that once at the Sunset and Vine store in Hollywood, and the guy gave me the $45 charger for $15. I was still GREATLY overpaying, but I told him I knew how much those went for, and their pricing was ABSURD!!!!!!

Meh, it's worked. hahaha!!

But for reals, nerdy nerd nerds ... go have fun, man. Go do some cool shit with your life. It's here, waitin for ya! Just make sure if you do though, you're prepared. Keep on keepin on!! =)

#nerdsunite

#NerdsUnite: Brotha, can you spare a RT?

<editorsnote> DUDDESSSS!!! Julie Wilson just brought this to my attention, and it's a super rad cause that I'd love to show some nerdy lovin to. If you guys could please share and RT this it would totes make my life. For reals ... us nerdy folk have gotz to stick together!!! UGHHHHHHH such a great causeeeeeeeeee!!! 

<3 Jen

HIT IT ELIZABETH!!! </editorsnote>

I have been working on a documentary alongside my mother for two years now. It brings awareness to the Bureau of Land Management rounding up the Wild Mustangs for slaughter. They are near extinction at this point and it is unacceptable and incredibly heartbreaking.  

Time is running out.  

We are trying to raise enough funds for distribution. Every dollar counts. We have 19 days left and we are half way to our $10,000 goal.  Please consider donating to this cause.   

Much appreciated! 

-Elizabeth Law Slagsvol

America’s wild horses are being managed to extinction by the Bureau of Land Management.

Wild Horses & Renegades exposes abusive taxpayer-funded roundups of the few remaining iconic American wild horses, which are then starved, abused, sold to Mexican slaughterhouses or, if lucky, adopted.  This film captures the pure and stunning beauty of horses in the wild and reveals the sharp contrast between their former world and what is left behind by the gross mismanagement of our fragile western public lands.

Wild Horses & Renegades is currently in the final stages of editing  The purpose of this film is to educate and enlighten a worldwide audience on how they can take positive action to help save the last of America's Wild Horses. We are launching a grassroots internet, DVD and television campaign to bring this urgent film to millions of people. Donations to the project will aid production expenses, music licensing, marketing and DVD duplication of this documentary film.

“If the public could view what’s being done to wild horses, the public would stand up and take action. This is not a film just about America’s wild horses; this is a film about what is happening to America itself!” -- Michael Blake, author of Dances with Wolves.

Help support the film Wild Horses & Renegades.

For more information on the cause: http://www.theamericanwildhorse.com/

#nerdsunite