<editorsnote>Hi, I'm Jen Friel, and we here at TNTML examine the lives of nerds outside of the basements and into the social media, and dating world. We have over 75 peeps that write about their life in real time. (Real nerds, real time, real deal.) Sit back, relax, and enjoy some of the stories!!</editorsnote>
According to recent studies, it is inadvisable to procreate with fellow Okcupid-ers. Due to the lack of background information stored on each user, one doesn't know about the genetic integrity of the person they plan to procreate with. After a few drinks, that 6 suddenly turns into an 9. One thing leads to another and 9 months later you're stuck with a genetically inferior baby. Raising this baby and unleashing him into mainstream society will alter future generations until the human race dwindles into nothingness.
If one does decide to partake in sexual intercourse with someone met on Okcupid, there are some very important things you need to remember.
1) Use protection. At the very least, you should carry a 9mm with you at all times. Okcupid doesn't discriminate against who can sign up.
2) Wear a condom. Even if you aren't engaged in sexual activities, you should still be wearing one. Put it on before the date even starts. Better to be safe than sorry.
3) Arrive early and stake out in a concealed area. Secret internet fatties are everywhere and we don't want an entire generation of fat babies. Worse comes to worse, you can always outrun a SIF.
4) Remember the children. The human race needs to survive and it is up to you Okcupid-ers to be responsible enough to not procreate.
Looky looky the message I just got when I logged in to OkCupid ...
NOOOOOOO!!!
90% capacity in one week, FTW!!!! Ah crapsicles batman ... I can't upgrade - so sorry el nerderinos I'm going to have to start deleting some old emails. =(
I can't understand why guys think I'm so forward in not wanting to send 10000000 emails back and forth. I just say, okay I'm free tonight, or tomorrow (remember, my 24 hour rule ...). And they all think I'm weird for it!
LIFE IS HAPPENING NOW! All life is is a series of NOWs. This is all we've got kids! And in the tech world, longer than 24 hours is a lifetime.
SOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! OkCupid ... you win for now ... bastard!
#NowPlaying: Social Distortion - Reach for the sky
Ladies, your knight in shining armor may be 15 disastrous dates away. BUT!!!!! Without those 15 dates you will never know he is your knight. Hear me out.
About a year ago I was in a bad spot. I was coming out of a 3 year depression from the collapse of my business, my girlfriend of 5 years moved out a few weeks before, and the market was in a place that left me with no hope. To put it plainly...SHIT SUCKED!
Along came "the self contained apparatus" as one of my best friends describes her. She was a secretary who was recently fired from my office. This girl was all kinds of wrong. It wasn't that we didn't see eye to eye, it was so much worse. This girl was a smoking hot burn out. She had a gnarly speed addiction that had made her homeless for a year at one point, she was fighting the state for custody of her kids, and her family had disowned her. This girl was literally the opposite of everything I was used too. Fortunately I was at a point in my life were I didn't give a shit and wanted anyone to love me. I know it's fucked up but it's the truth.
The "apparatus" and I spent 2 recklessly awesome weeks together. We had hours of conversation about society, social norms, politics, family, etc. The sex was top notch. I doubt I will ever come across a girl again that knows men like she did. I blew off work and spent my days doing nothing with her. This was obviously the complete opposite of what I should have been doing. She would tell me often how hot I was and how good I was in bed. My self esteem was at a all time low at this point so it was more than welcome. After 2 weeks she asked me if I could ever date her seriously. I told her it was unlikely at this point in my life and hers. A few days later she called, said she was leaving town, and wanted to pick up a few things she had left at my house. We talked one last time and she drove away.
Lesson learned: I could never date an addict. I'll add it to my list of things to avoid. I have had a series of lessons, like we all have, that I have learned from different significant others. Those lessons are the founding for my future relationships. If I don't remember those experiences I'll be doomed to repeat then my entire life. I know I need more of them before I'll be able to find what I am looking for.
Because I'm addicted to my job I'll use it as a reference. If you ask a first time buyer what they are looking for in a house they will tell you 3 rooms, a large kitchen, and a big back yard. If you ask a move up buyer they will give you and exact square footage, yard size, floor plan details, etc. If you ask an investor they will give you a set of plans they drew in their free time and tell you they want the house to look just like this. The investor has bought WAY more homes than the other 2 buyers so he know exactly what he wants. The same goes for dating.
#NowPlaying:Bouncing Souls - Lean On Sheena (playing the air drums, lol)
You need to meet a lot of people so you know exactly what you do and don't want. The idea that you'll meet "The One" from reading their okcupid.com profile is very unlikely. I have to laugh when women answer the OKC question, "How willing are you to meet up with someone from OKC in person?" and they answer with, "Some what willing or Not likely"? What the hell are you doing on this site then? GET OUT OF YOUR FUCKING HOUSE AND MEET SOMEONE!!!!!! You'll never find Mr. Right unless you meet a lot of Mr. Right Now's.
Saturday, July 31, 2010 at 11:35PMAccording to recent studies, it is inadvisable to procreate with fellow Okcupid-ers. Due to the lack of background information stored on each user, one doesn't know about the genetic integrity of the person they plan to procreate with. After a few drinks, that 6 suddenly turns into an 9. One thing leads to another and 9 months later you're stuck with a genetically inferior baby. Raising this baby and unleashing him into mainstream society will alter future generations until the human race dwindles into nothingness.
