Fun with #OkCupid: A night of firsts

AHH! Just got back from a date on OKC with a WHOLLLEEE lotta firsts.

First up, I need a song as I write this ... I'm still buggin' after not having music in my ears LITERALLY all day yesterday. A song with this post ... HMMMMM ...

HAHAHA omg, no. I can't do Hootie. Yes, it is playing on my New Radicals station currently on Pandora - but for the love of all things holy ... no.

Alrite, not mad at this ...

This date was hilarious. It was filled with so many firsts, it's blowing my mind.

First up, I check my "visitors" on OKC almost every day. Mostly because I'm interested in how editing my profile will populate in their search algorithm. Like for example, if I edit a text portion of my profile will I get more views versus adding a picture ... etc.

I RELIGIOUSLY check my visitors. RE-LIG-IOUSLY. Wait, is that even spelled right? Who cares.

Like a week ago, I noticed this duderino that checked out my profile but didn't send me a message. That honestly happens all the time that you have a RED "replies selectively" in your profile. Dudes assume your inbox is full and don't bother messaging you. I will ABSOLUTELY get 50% more emails if I am in the yellow or green.

So, I know I'm at a red. I haven't been replying back to everyone as I should because frankly, I've been genuinely looking to find someone - while at the same time also understanding that I can capitalize on the market for advertising purposes. I will hustle til the day that I die, but I also very genuinely am looking to date. I enjoy rocking my socks off both personally and professionally. Am I still talking? Shut up Jen.

SOOOOOOO!!! (My ADD is super bad today) I saw this super cute dude, with a REALLY genuine and AWESOME smile in his default viewed my profile without messaging me - so I decided to email him and say what's up! Here's the actual email ...

I pulled from his profile one detail - and related it back to myself to show interest without being generic. And I also GENUINELY enjoy making people comfortable and uncomfortable so it was a hilarious detail that I wanted to point out amused me.

He then got back to me, and included in his email his phone number.

I had checked my profile around the same time as the email came in (very honestly a coincidence) and I saw the number, and immediately called.

I'm very very very much a no BS person - I called expecting to get a voicemail and to my surprise, he answered!

Oh shit, I thought. Hi! I said!!

Wow, he goes I JUST emailed you.

I then look at the timestamp on the email, and do an air facepalm. I LITERALLY called him like 30 seconds after he emailed me.

I laughed really hard - thinking wow, never done that before. Whatever, I will own this shit.

He asks if he can call me back - I say fine. Conversation ends.

He then texts me inviting me out on Saturday, and of course as you all know - we held our epic Nerd Herd 2nd anniversary party on Saturday.

I told him I couldn't kick it solo with him, but invited him to come out!

He said no (totally understand), then we text back and forth for a bit - finally settling on tonight for the date.

We settle on 8pm, and to my surprise I get there before he does.

My eyes start to wander, and I notice this super cutie patootie sitting next to me.

I go to take a picture to tweet out about how hot he is, and while I remembered to turn the flash off, I forgot to turn the volume down.

I IMMEDIATELY place my hand over the phone, and instead of capturing a picture of the hottie, manage to capture a wonderful picture of my palm ...

Really?!! Really Jen Friel!?!?! How long have you been lifecasting?!?! Epic fail. Epic epic fail.

Fortunately, minutes later my actual date arrives.

Wow, I think - he is way hotter than his profile pic.

I don't normally date guys this attractive actually. I am looking to break a pattern, and have spent my entire early 20s dating very attractive guys - and it got me no where. They are not only dumb as fucking rocks because they have failed to cultivate any sort of personality, but they are alarmingly uninteresting to boot.

The only reason why I messaged this guy (something I rarely do on OKC to begin with) again was because of his genuine smile. That is SUCCCHHHHHH a rare thing to find online. I could tell this dude, at that present moment, wasn't mad at his life. That is a turn on!

We sit down, grab beers, and then he starts talking about his day, and inquiring about mine. By looking at the guy you could tell he had a long day, I empathized explaining I have had an equally long day. I explained that not only was I teaching yesterday but I was in the process of editing and uploading the hour long lecture and it was a bit more arduous than anticipated.

He looked at me puzzled. Wait, you were teaching yesterday? Where?

Cal State Fullerton, I said.

Why were you teaching at a college? he pressed on

Because of my website.

OMG I think, this guy has ZZZEERRROOOOOO idea what I do. This. Is. Going. To. Be. Fun.

Out of 103 dates in 9 months, and the however many I have been on in the last 7 months since stopping the experiment - I have never ever ever had guys ask me about what I do or my background. EVVEERRRYOONEEEE googles me, or reads the site, or has checked me out in social media. It's hilarious actually and prolly the only way I was able to sustain going out on that many dates for that long. I enter into conversations mid sentence which for me is AH-MAZING since I dig cutting out the BS.

He then asks me about where I'm from ... what I do ...

He is COMPLETELY puzzled by it.

Wait, you have adventures and this is a business? How?

I then explain to him that I started a new media production company and as the words continue to spew from my mouth I am, for the first time, realizing how ridiculous my life sounds. 

He was INCREDIBLY open minded with it all - but just INCREDIBLY confused how someone could sustain an existence from it.

I kept trying to explain, but realizing I was kind of digging myself in a hole. This guy has no idea what I do, but I'm genuinely intrigued by it.

His body language was very open, but he was very much thinking, who. the. fuck. is. this. girl.

It was really really really REALLY funny!

He then asked me a series of questions about what I was looking for - not in a, hey, I wanna see if we match kinda way, but with a genuine child like sense of wonder and curiosity.

Someone that challenges me, I say.

I can't find people that challenge me intellectually. And I'm WAY more street smart than book smart, but I don't find guys that I want to date very often because not a lot of dudes interest me (which was also part of the reason why I started dating using an algorithm). 

He understood, while still looking at me like I was bat shit. 

I ended the date a bit early throwing back only two beers - mostly because I could tell he was exhausted, and I still want to finish editing this video so I can upload it for tomorrow.

His job pulls him in a lot of directions so I wasn't mad at him for not googling, but it was hilarious that this guy is kind of passive about OKC so much so that he literally didn't even click the link to the site on my profile, nor did he do ANY sort of background check on me prior. 103 dates in 9 months - that was a first.

ANNDDD he was also way hotter than his profile pic. Which threw me in a good way for sure, but also surprised me because he was attractive and had a pretty rad personality. That's a lot of firsts for one first date. I operate from a very mathematical and analytical brain - being surprised every once in a while is nice.

#thatisall

Fun with #OkCupid: I'm going to start charging for this ...

The emails I get every day on OKC literally blow me the fuck away.

MEN. COULD. NOT. BE. MORE. CLUELESS. WHEN. IT. COMES. TO. ONLINE. DATING. 

For reals, it's adorable, and potentially leaves me open for market opportunities - but I have no words sometimes, like look at this dude ... 

Don't get me wrong, I get what he is saying ... but to even GET to the face to face, you have to follow a series of steps. 

Step 1. Fill out profile

Step 2. Answer personality questions for match/ friend/ enemy

Step 3. Add pictures and description

Step 4. Email women pulling one single detail from their profile asking them to elaborate. 

Step 5. Once she responds (and ONLY if she responds) ask her out for a drink/ coffee

and BOOM that is when you get your face to face, but I'm not just going to randomly look at your pic go, oohhhhhhh he's hot - sure, let's meet. It's the fucking internet, do you know how many creepers there are out there??

Google it - it's a GAJILLION ... literally. 

Next consultation I charge ... that is if I can stand having a permanent palm stuck to my face for the rest of my life. 

#whyohwhy

Fun with #OKCupid: 3 emails ... 3 different responses

First up, if you haven't read my OKC profile - you can check it out over yonder. Might make some sense to the things guys reply to, haha. But for reals, these are all actual emails I've received in the last 48 hours, and my actual responses back to them. It is through this transparent experience that I hope you all can take away some knowledge on what works and what doesn't in the hopes of making your online dating experiences that much more fanschmastically awesome. YAYYYY ONLINE DATING YAYYY!!! K ... cool ... here we go ...

... It's funny actually, this week I got pretty much the same two emails over and over. One was from dudes complimenting me on the site and my writing style (THANK YOU DUDES!!!!), and the other two were about Jello. No, like literally ...

This is a great email! He's clearly pulling the fact that I say in my profile "I spend a lot of time wondering what it is like laying in a pool of jello" - and responding in an engaging and analytical manner. Sure, there's a misspelling, but that can be overlooked.

Actual response: Hello there!

K. This is a good bad one. You first doable action in sending an email on a dating website is getting the female to respond. That's ALLLLLLL that you have to do. You don't have to plan the date, think about what our kids will be named, if I will like your mother's cooking, and mind your father's gropey hands during the holidays. Who cares?! Break it down ... get the female to respond, first and foremost. Chicks are INUNDATED with emails on dating websites. Seriously - it took me 48 hours to max out my inbox.

That being said, this email sucks. You're "intrigue" by my profile ... and you want to be friends? Dude, I'm not on OKC for friends. So you're new, congratulations! would you like an award or a breast to pin it on? That's like walking into a bar and saying, hey, it's my first time here random chick next to the jukebox. Can we totes be besties??

Actually, come to think of it, that might be pretty funny and she might befriend you - but whatever, on a dating site, that's just not going to happen. I'm not going to be your friend, and in fact I'm not going to respond to this email. Not being cold, just period end of sentence. ALLLLL this guy would have had to say to get a response from me (which I'm sure that was what he was looking for) would be to pull one detail from my profile and ask me to elaborate.

Example: You say you can't live without adventures, been on any lately?

One sentence. Bonus points for being under 140 characters - and boom, I would have responded to that.

That email? Not so much.

Actual response: none

HAHAH this is great! Again, he took this detail from my profile and provided an analytical answer to something I spend a lot of time thinking about. Kudos!

Actual response: You are now making me rethink the surface to more of a marshmallow base.

Happy online dating, nerds!!! xoxoxoxxoxox

#nerdsunite

Fun with #OkCupid: Double Epic Facepalm

OkCupid ... I really ... really ... really ... don't know some days. Like seriously, I know I am known on the interwebz as the unofficial OKC chick - but straight up, down, left, and right I wonder if some people just send me shit strictly to see it on this site. Can people really be this fucking weird?? Looky looky the email I just got ...

Okay now normally I wouldn't even bother to take offense to someone saying something like that to me. All of this made me laugh because you have to look at the whole package and understand that this is being said by a guy doing this in his default ...

And apparently even throwing up in another one of his pics ...

I will take your pity kind sir.

#fail

Live in LA and wanna date me? I'm on OKC. I only bite upon request and during a full moon ... clearly.

#NoteToNerds: @OKCupid is not Adult Friend Finder

OOOHHHH my goodness gracious. What girls are exposed to on OKC is for reals the most ah-mazing thing on the planet. Like right now for example. Here I be sitting in my kitchen, drinking coffee, and writing - and looky looky what just popped up in the chat ...

(Note: DTF is Jersey Shore-ese for down to fuck)

You're a dude, of COURSE you are always down to fuck. Even being a chick that thinks more like a dude, I have a higher sex drive than most ... but I'm still sitting here working, and writing not thinking about sex. Well, now that I'm talking about sex, yes, I am thinking about it - but I'm still not horny. Well, alrite fine, now I am thinking about the last time I had sex and am getting mildly horny ... oh fuck. Damnit, I'm still not going to bone you, damnit.

HAHA for reals though - dudes, don't message this to chickadees. We're not going to take you up on it (ESPECIALLY at this hour), and you're going to look desperate which is a big big BIG turn off.

Better approach: I'd like to take you out for drinks later. (No dinner, that way you liquor up faster which may or may not lead to your ultimate goal of getting some.) Plain, simple, and sans desperation.

#boohyah