#NerdsUnite: Tales of a Pick Up Artist (Finding your perfect 10)

<editorsnote> Nerds, meet my buddy Anwar. We met in Florida last year, and it was because of him that I got to go out on a date with Steve Ward. True story - Anwar tweeted about Steve's Ustream broadcast, and that's where I asked him out. That shit cray! He's a rad mofo, and active in the pick up artist community (PUA) and wants to share his tips and tricks with you today. I only have one more thing left to say ... HIT IT ANWAR!! </editorsnote>

#TalkNerdyToMeLover's @AJonesPUA

As a PUA, I had grown accustomed to rating women on a system from 1 to 10. 

What society describes as a perfect 10: beautiful from head to toe, completely flawless from the external point of view. Many men think this kind of woman is the key to their happiness.

In high school, I had a crush on a girl who by definition everyone thought wasn't attractive. I didn't care, my interest in her was simply because of my perception of what beauty was at the time. She had a warm presence, positive, talented, and sexy by my definition.

Here's what makes your "Perfect 10": Someone you're completely infatuated with, the person who's amazing, sexy, and overall the quality person you're looking for. Otherwise, the gap of unsatisfactory will be created between the both of you.

What marks the end of most relationships is when one person begins to demote the value of the person they're with. 

Are you with her because when you walk into the bar he/she turns heads and makes the record skip? Are you with her because your friends oust you otherwise? Let's be real, in most relationships... your friends can have a kinetic effect on your dating. Your choices, the quality, and decisions are made cause we want this person we're with to be accepted by the people we love.  My message to you, is for once not to care, choose your partner by your means of attraction and not look for the external validation of your peers!

Of course they'll give you every reason to why you shouldn't be with them. I'll only listen to those who are close to me on that issue. What matters is only what you think, how this person brings value to your life and the connection you feel towards them.

What are you out to prove?

Nothing, should be the answer.  Your perfect 10 will be someone who everyone in your life likes organically. This admiration will come natural, it will be just feeling. People will say things like, "You guys look good together" or "You two have great physical chemistry". Stop letting outside influences take toll on your perception. Get back to satisfying yourself when you date, always ask yourself? Is this person adding value to my life? Do they have the beauty inside and out that I want in a person?

Men and women alike, the key to finding your perfect 10, simply put... requires some searching. If the person you’re with now doesn't qualify. Eliminate them from contention. Simple as THAT!!! Find someone that feels good to you and only on YOUR terms!

#nerdsunite

click here to follow Anwar on twitter!

#NerdsUnite: Tales of a Pick Up Artist (Escaping Alcatraz: The Friend Zone)

<editorsnote> Nerds, meet my buddy Anwar. We met in Florida last year, and it was because of him that I got to go out on a date with Steve Ward. True story - Anwar tweeted about Steve's Ustream broadcast, and that's where I asked him out. That shit cray! He's a rad mofo, and active in the pick up artist community (PUA) and wants to share his tips and tricks with you today. I only have one more thing left to say ... HIT IT ANWAR!! </editorsnote>

#TalkNerdyToMeLover's @AJonesPUA

This is dedicated to the guys who dare to escape the perilous Alcatraz of relationships "The Friend Zone."

The reason TFZ has so much power over you because the word "friend" has such a powerful anchor in the context which it was used. When she says, "I only SEE YOU as a FRIEND." You will begin to adopt the frame she sees you as. For example, I approach a girl and say, "Saw you guys from across the bar, you looked friendly so I came to say hello." At that point the will begin to adopt more friendlier vibe. 

Haven't we all been there fellas? We'll hop, skip and leap bounds for this girl when she needs help. And for what exactly? The kiss on the cheek where the lips don't even touch? Hell NAW SON!!  Let's fix it?

I thought this post by a buddy of mine of fb a would be a killer topic. And it reads: 

Attention to all those that are "Friend Zoned": 

All is not lost. But it does call for extreme measures... Drop her. Cold turkey. Make yourself suddenly unavailable. Don't text her. Don't call her. Don't hangout in the same places as her. When she texts you (and she will) don't reply right away. Sometimes just don't reply. Don't be a dick either. Just be busy doing other things. You see this is what the dude she's hung up on is doing to her. If there was ever a possibility of being "anything" then she will come back around to you. That's your second chance to TAKE CONTROL and MOVE PAST the friend zone. Don't eff it up like the last time. And your welcome. 

Lurk your eyes over the bold letting once or twice. And if there is a female in the room, tell her to leave. This is dedicated to the guys who dare to escape the perilous  Alcatraz of relationships. Now go away!!!

These are three reasons why your in the friend zone:

1. You're too available
2. Too Needy
3. Obsessing over her

Like my friend said, extreme measure will have to be taken, but less cold turkey more of a luke warm approach. Yes, you do become less available but not calling or texting her won't make a difference. From her point of view it validates her own assumptions about men that we're "all the same, and we only want one thing."  So, let's breakdown the root of this travesty shall we...

Step One - Stop being the "nice guy"

Most guys in the friend zone are "Yes men, anything you want type men." This is the result of poor communication within the man. He doesn't take chances, he doesn't lead, and MOST of all he's not honest with himself. Women are most attracted to Confidence in a man and having low self worth is counter-intuitive.

Instead when she text you, don't be too eager to respond. Only when it warrants a response. Have an opinion and be honest. Agreeing with her isn't the way to her heart. Never put her needs ahead of your own. 

Step  two - Kick the neediness junkie out

Neediness stems from putting TOO MUCH emotion to the relationship. Coming off as desperate and showing signals too often at the start of the relationship. Too stuck on the idea of having a relationship with her. And if you think for one second that she is "Perfect", "The ONE", or "A soulmate," kill yourself.

The problem is you're not paying attention to yourself. The stems back to number one. Remember, they're 3 billion more women in the sea, this is not your last approach or last conversation with a woman. Take it slow and simmer down.

Step 3 - The difference between Friend Zone and Relationships  

One of the major pitfalls of the friend zone is that the value from one person to another is often misunderstood. While the guy may have romantic intentions, he'll wait to long and after a period of time the relationship evolves to a specific type of relationship. 

I define relationships as two be people sharing value and experiences together. A connection overtime that builds to an affinity for each other. 

If the girl has problems in her personal life and the issues become to overwhelming to endure. Cut your losses, you don't want her venting to you everyday talking you ear off. I spent the latter part of 18/23 years giving a girl my best advice, looking for the awkward "Ah ha" moment where she falls in love with me. When I began to analyze how she conducted herself in her relationships and grown. I shook myself out the daze and began pursuing women who wanted a healthy and fruitful relations. 

Step 4 - Kino Escalation (Touch Barrier)

45% of the reason why you're in the friend zone is because you didn't touch her. You may have approached and had a conversation, but you never introduced your touch to her. The more you wait, the more awkward it becomes when you  try. Attempt to throw an arm behind the back, hands, small of the back,  and shoulders. 

This is all part of seduction and building a physical connection. From the time you meet her til the end of the night, she should be getting more comfortable with the idea of your touch. Dancing, Hi - 5s,  back rubbing, playful pinching all communicate that you find her attractive. Women usually associate this with sexual confidence also. 

5. Don't waste your time

You have a life right?!? You have a job and dreams to pursue. Of course, if you follow all the steps above and she "still" feeding you TFZ bullshit. I quote my friend, "It does call for extreme measures... Drop her."

Truthfully, she may not be attract to you. But, if you anything like me the feelings still linger. I'd even get jealous and secretly encourage the breakup. Let's be real. Those emotions just don't deteriorate in a moments notice, you need time to sort the feelings out. 

You mentally and physically downgrade her. Unsubscribe to her facebook post, become less interested in her life. She'll begin to notice the withdraw and mention it. If she ask, then just tell the truth and be open about it. Create space in your heart for the girl that deserve the right to occupy. Before that, make sure those old feelings doesn't crutch the progress of you next relationship. 

Until then ladies.. Keep denying us in the clubs and men.. STOP being Pussies...

Happy Hunting, 

#nerdsunite

click here to follow Anwar on twitter!

#NerdsUnite: Tales of a Pick Up Artist (The Social Proof Complex)

<editorsnote> Nerds, meet my buddy Anwar. We met in Florida last year, and it was because of him that I got to go out on a date with Steve Ward. True story - Anwar tweeted about Steve's Ustream broadcast, and that's where I asked him out. That shit cray! He's a rad mofo, and active in the pick up artist community (PUA) and wants to share his tips and tricks with you today. I only have one more thing left to say ... HIT IT ANWAR!! </editorsnote>

#TalkNerdyToMeLover's @AJonesPUA

Last year in October I went out 6 days in a row without realizing it. At the end of the 6th day, I was accompanied home by a 5'11 blonde who seemed to have a taste for chocolate chip cookies. 

After our private party, I asked her directly "When did you know you were attracted to me?" From what I knew of her already I expected some superficial response like "Because you could douggie." But I was surprised when she said,  "I don't know, but the way you dance and how you spoke to everyone around you and kept smiling. I found that to be so attractive." 

Take note to the bold lettering in the quote. 

That's the focus of today's lesson gents. How to build Social Proof with only brand you need...YOU!!

What is Social Proof? The short term would be... "Any consecutive event that gives evidence of value." For example, the guy at the arcade who won 30 consecutive matches in Tekken. People will continue to gather around to watch him. Same goes for attraction, females will  observe you the more they perceive you to be a value source. (Preselection)

<Pause> I'm explaining from the view your out alone.</pause>

It's starts when you walk in. Do NOT and I repeat Do NOT head straight to the bar without at least talking to 3-5 people first.  Why you ask? Just think about it, perception is reality. This goes for women and guys alike, people will make assumptions of your value based on how you socialize. From the get go, you come in and start talking, dancing and shooting a few hi-5s to random people. The women will see evidence of your value by the reaction of others. 

3 things I do when I walk in: 

• Get to the club early around 10pm. It's not packed and it's prime for starting conversations with people you don't know. 
• Talk to a bouncer, beertub girl or bartender. Remember, don't talk for a long time because they are working. Keep it short 30-90 seconds. 
• Open a few strangers to get myself in the rhythm of talking to people. 

After I procure a drink. I always like to open whomever is standing next to me and start a light conversation about the night. Afterwards I'd move to a more traffic area of the club like the dancefloor, near the entrance, exit or the stairs if they have one. From there, you should be seen smiling and having fun. 

The How To...

Now, you've set up a home base. Begin to engage the people around you. Befriend everyone within 5-10ft range of where your standing. The home base's purpose is just a spot where you can come back to a re-group. It's true  purpose is to create a web of Social Proof, which means your the source of the value in that specific spot of the club.  

Spider webs are built from the center then outwards. Imagine that your at the center and  in your mind you expend your web out 5-10ft. Picture yourself making people laugh, posing for pictures, dancing and just overall.. being the source of fun in the whole venue.   Naturally, you become the observed in your way of being. 

In this process, people will notice the source of good emotions is coming from you. While men will normally come and engage you, women approach you indirectly. We call this proximity. This is when girls move closer to the PUA , usually with most interested one not facing us.

Now you've become preselected. To her, you're the shit and nothing else matters. In her mind your value just broke the roof and she wants you to be her personal pogo stick. To understand preselection is as Adam Lyons explains: 

So, think about it. The next time your at the bar sitting on the wall with your drink held high. Ask yourself, are you the observer or the observed. You can't make women attracted to you by chilling on the wall putting on your you ate ass face. 

Remember to engage and give value to people. Be the flame that lights up the room not the wind who blows it out. 

I've ran my mouth long enough today. Thank you for reading everyone, I really appreciate the opportunity to write for TNTML. I'm damn sure bringing the Funk on the next post. Until then ladies.. Keep denying us in the clubs and men.. STOP being Pussies... 

Happy Hunting

#nerdsunite

click here to follow Anwar on twitter!