<editorsnote>Hi, I'm Jen Friel, and we here at TNTML examine the lives of nerds outside of the basements and into the social media, and dating world. We have over 75 peeps that write about their life in real time. (Real nerds, real time, real deal.) Sit back, relax, and enjoy some of the stories!!</editorsnote>
<editorsnote> Nerds, meet my buddy Anwar. We met in Florida last year, and it was because of him that I got to go out on a date with Steve Ward. True story - Anwar tweeted about Steve's Ustream broadcast, and that's where I asked him out. That shit cray! He's a rad mofo, and active in the pick up artist community (PUA) and wants to share his tips and tricks with you today. I only have one more thing left to say ... HIT IT ANWAR!! </editorsnote>
#TalkNerdyToMeLover's @AJonesPUA
As a PUA, I had grown accustomed to rating women on a system from 1 to 10.
What society describes as a perfect 10: beautiful from head to toe, completely flawless from the external point of view. Many men think this kind of woman is the key to their happiness.
In high school, I had a crush on a girl who by definition everyone thought wasn't attractive. I didn't care, my interest in her was simply because of my perception of what beauty was at the time. She had a warm presence, positive, talented, and sexy by my definition.
Here's what makes your "Perfect 10": Someone you're completely infatuated with, the person who's amazing, sexy, and overall the quality person you're looking for. Otherwise, the gap of unsatisfactory will be created between the both of you.
What marks the end of most relationships is when one person begins to demote the value of the person they're with.
Are you with her because when you walk into the bar he/she turns heads and makes the record skip? Are you with her because your friends oust you otherwise? Let's be real, in most relationships... your friends can have a kinetic effect on your dating. Your choices, the quality, and decisions are made cause we want this person we're with to be accepted by the people we love. My message to you, is for once not to care, choose your partner by your means of attraction and not look for the external validation of your peers!
Of course they'll give you every reason to why you shouldn't be with them. I'll only listen to those who are close to me on that issue. What matters is only what you think, how this person brings value to your life and the connection you feel towards them.
What are you out to prove?
Nothing, should be the answer. Your perfect 10 will be someone who everyone in your life likes organically. This admiration will come natural, it will be just feeling. People will say things like, "You guys look good together" or "You two have great physical chemistry". Stop letting outside influences take toll on your perception. Get back to satisfying yourself when you date, always ask yourself? Is this person adding value to my life? Do they have the beauty inside and out that I want in a person?
Men and women alike, the key to finding your perfect 10, simply put... requires some searching. If the person you’re with now doesn't qualify. Eliminate them from contention. Simple as THAT!!! Find someone that feels good to you and only on YOUR terms!
<editorsnote> Nerds, meet my buddy Anwar. We met in Florida last year, and it was because of him that I got to go out on a date with Steve Ward. True story - Anwar tweeted about Steve's Ustream broadcast, and that's where I asked him out. That shit cray! He's a rad mofo, and active in the pick up artist community (PUA) and wants to share his tips and tricks with you today. I only have one more thing left to say ... HIT IT ANWAR!! </editorsnote>
#TalkNerdyToMeLover's @AJonesPUA
Every night I go out I see the same social patterns. A group of men walk in, go to the bar, procure a drink then find a home based to observe the crowd.
A group of women walk-in run straight to the bathroom or bar, talk to their friends and park themselves at what they make home base for the evening.
What I have discovered is that when men look at me they think "I'm weird" for going up to girls and talking to them. They think it's "weird" for me to dance with girls I barely know. THEY think it's weird to be social in general. This is why ladies see lines of men posted up on the walls of clubs and waiting for that "one" girl to pass by and grab their arm. (It doesn't work by the way, I've field tested this) In reality when you're in a social environment, it's actually weird for you NOT to be talking.
For example, you see a guy in the bar leaning against the wall NOT speaking to anyone. The public perception will be that he is lonely and doesn't have any friends. Meanwhile, Lonely Guys sees Party Guy having the time of his life dancing, drinking and kissing girls. Party Guy may be getting rejected but Lonely Guy still think he's the shit because he has the courage to actually go after what he wants.
Men have to learn that the term "Less is more" has no relevance inside a social environment. The less you do the more of a weak impression you leave on people. Girls often associate social awkwardness with having no confidence and often brand you with the title of "The Creepy Guy."
I went out alone for the first time in a long time last night. Initially, I went out to give a good happy birthday to my friend and to hangout for a while. While in my chill mode I took a stroll around the bar and I didn't open any sets, wasn't really motivated to talk to any females at this point, but I like to people watch on occasion.
Make my way downstairs to the first floor dance-floor, it's 12:14 (don't ask how I remember) and from the bottom of the stairs I got the perfect view to basically see everyone and observe for a second.
Now I want to describe this from right to left in detail you can understand. So in order from right to left this is what I see:
2 cute girls, 3 guys standing around, 4 beautiful women, 1 guy dancing around them trying to gain their attention, 3set mixed 2 girls and 1 guy, 5 guys screaming and fist pumping to make it look like they're having fun.
I see a few more guys staring at the dancers on the stage, a few more wallflowers, looking around. I start to think to myself, "Why do we waste so much time looking good when we come out to just stand around and observe others"?
We put on our best shirt, pants, and shoes. Brush our hair and teeth, put on Axe or cologne to smell good. Then go out, just to sit on the wall, grab at girls only too satisfied with telling our friends that, "I almost had her, dog!"
Askmen.com has an article that talks about Why do women go to nightclubs? When I read this I was amazed by how accurate the article actually was about descriptions of certain women who prance about in the nightclub.
According to 100 women polled, there are 3 main reasons why women attend nightclubs: 1-- To meet men - 64% 2-- To see what happens - 21% 3-- To have fun - 12 % 4-- Other (with boyfriend, on a date) - 3%
Take a minute to soak that all in guys.
...
Finished? Ok, good =) Because, this proves we have no business watching anything in the club. You have to be interacting with people to be seen in a nightclub. Women come in there knowing what type of guys they want to approach them and women are so slick, they'll even position themselves to be approached by YOU!
Are you unclear on the reasons why YOU want to go out to clubs? To be social? To have fun with your friends? To pick up girls? Own that decision before you walk out the door. Don't apologize for wanting to approach and leave your friends, this is why you came out, right?
When you go out long enough, you will start to see a pattern taking place. One of which is how people interact with each other, guys especially. Here's what I mean:
4 things guys do in the club to "TRY" get attention:
Gather in a circle and shout lewd noises to get attention.
Make an all guy dance circle and do the drunken pop n lock. (At least the black ones do)
Stay on the walls and grab women by the hands trying to get them to turn around.
Stare at women as they walk by them.
As men, we don't need to "try" at all to attract women. At the same time you must carry yourself in a manner of being carefree and friendly. Make a habit to smile while walking through the club, causally talk to guys and girls and build some social momentum before you start approaching women. Remember, 64% of females are out to meet a guy and 21% are just there to see what happens. Why not make it a good night for these women to remember and be "That Guy" that sweeps them off they're feet.
<editorsnote> Nerds, meet my buddy Anwar. We met in Florida last year, and it was because of him that I got to go out on a date with Steve Ward. True story - Anwar tweeted about Steve's Ustream broadcast, and that's where I asked him out. That shit cray! He's a rad mofo, and active in the pick up artist community (PUA) and wants to share his tips and tricks with you today. I only have one more thing left to say ... HIT IT ANWAR!! </editorsnote>
#TalkNerdyToMeLover's @AJonesPUA
Lately my confidence has been wailing since the whole St. Patrick's Day one night stand Facebook Message. As of now, I'm going out completely detaching myself from the outcome and only going with the flow. I needed a night to regain my confidence and be myself for a chance. For now, I'll be more sensitive to my observations and think more about the future consequences of the choices I make.
**Disclaimer - All names in this are fake**
I call my mentor on the way out the door. We discuss the foundations of the Mystery Method (Google M3 Model or just plan Mystery Method if youre clueless) as I'm walking into the venue and park my ass on the couch outside to finish up on the phone. Suddenly, I hear the music go off and everyone starts boo'in the DJ ... apparently a fuse busted when they tried to plug-in something but w/e.
I look to my left and I see a two set chilling. One of the girls which I recognize from The People You May Know feature on Facebook. I glance at her while sipping my drink, in return she gives me a slight smile and preen of the hair. I say in my head, "I'll get to you later" Only to run into a previous set from the night before. I'll give her the name of Cassidy. So, Cas was accompanied by a few of her friends I havent met just yet. I mingle with them a bit on the outskirts of the dance floor before my curiosity for another girl eases me off them.
Recently, I've found me a dance partner whom I have GREAT physical chemistry with. I can tell there's a mutual attraction between us, but the bad side is she is currently in year 14 of her marriage, lucky guy. I like her because she always introduces me to her beautiful friends and tells me we can't dance together on the account of her husband being present. She still manages to steal a few pinches off my ass throughout the night.
Anyway, the dance floor seemed to be calling to me for a while. A couple of songs later I bounce off the greet my hired guns (Hired Guns: Bartenders, shot girls beertub girls) as usual...Roxy is my favorite, she always greets me with a couple kisses on the cheek and asking, "Do you want your sprite now?" I decline and head back out to the dance floor. Ultimately I find this to be my routine before any serious game takes place. I'm always thankful for the relationships I develop with people, all bullshit aside from game I wouldn't be "Juice" without them. (My Nickname)
While I'm dancing 2 other girls catch my eye. One of which I met on Valentine's Day and had an awesome night of conversation and light intimacy. Lorine (Pronounced like Lauren) greeted me with a jump mount hug followed by a few small kisses. We boogie a bit before her friend decided to join. Lorine tells me she's married but its was cool to still have a little fun with her. The way her body moved to the music was a definite turn on I was almost envious of the guy she married. She removes the scrunchy from her hair and swung it in my face, bends over extending her arms to grab the top of the couch and begins to grinds her ass against Perseus. I give her a little wiggle and from there it gets interesting. She turns to me with the "fuck me" eyes letting me know to continue my advances. So, I grab one leg and grind for a bit and I whisper into her ear, "You ready to go higher up" she puts both hands on the top of the couch, I toss her up.. she wraps her legs around me and I give her the ride. While doing this I lift her higher and I get a good reaction from this. Lorine comes back only to tell me she married.. like reminding me not to do anything. I respect that, I admit the girl was kinda tipsy and we were really just enjoying each other. At the end of the interaction, I pause for a sec... and re-analyze what's going on around me.
I space out into a Sherlock Holmes moment of analysis:
3 lovely ladies observing my every move. 2 of which 15 feet away, black dresses, flirtatious body language, torso's facing me and liking the way I dance.
1 woman 40ft away with a young gentlemen seems to have a smitten look in her eyes. Welcoming eyes but playing hard to get.
In summary: Engage the 2 lovelies and lead them to the bar. Merge the set and isolate the woman outside to the balcony. GAME!!
**Space back in**
But I didn't do that.. Haha!!
Anyway, I make my way to the bar and see Cassidy looking at me again, note her husband is there also.. so I take the time to befriend him and ask about his night. So, she says "I saw you out there and I saw you doing your thing". I acted as if it was normal business and her friend next to me says, I don't think we have met.. note her bf is there also. While I'm talking to them, another girl I know runs up to me and greets me, and not to far behind is her friends.. she says,"Hey baby"I hug her and she kisses me on the neck. I run out and dance with them for a while, I eject to another girl wanting to dance also. I sit back on the wall, and I let her do the dancing. I get a bit involved when I dip her and such. She constantly repeats, "Your gonna get me in trouble". Some of her friends are here and one greets me. The moment this occurs I look around to see that most girls we're staring at me as if I'm the hottest guy in the club.
"Be the Observed NOT the observer" -- Mystery
I go back out the balcony and I look to my right and see a two set, both are pretty cute and we start talking about random shit, I shake hands and lock in. So, we are talking and things are going well, im getting some kino (touching) from both girls. 15mins in, her brother and his friend walk up and I greet them. They both introduce me and I do seem to be holding the frame quite well. But as quick as a Tyson right hook, I find myself isolated with one target and somehow seemed to lose her moments later.
I find myself dancing AGAIN with girls I know. Note, I already know this girl from Facebook but i don't say anything. At the moment, she seems pretty drunk but alert. Conversation ensues, fluff talk so to speak. Max and Leala.. I love those names.. Max veers off for a minute and I'm alone with Leala. We start to talk about the reasons we go out, she had been sitting there a while maybe 3 feet away from me and the 2set I was with.
Didnt have to DHV, I had been pre-selected automatically.
She begins to qualify herself telling me how masterful she is around a stove, I reply with value about how I come to love writing and helping other people with relationships. Max comes back furious about some guy who just called her fat and just so you guys know she's about 135lbs clearly not fat. I wonder if this was a rouse to break the tension between me and Leala but it put me in a strange position. One girl is furious about being called fat and begins to ask me if I think being "Thick" is a good thing.
I ponder for a moment and think carefully about the words I'm about to say. Max is tipsy and already angry, I didn't simply want to respond with a yes or no. Instead, I'll dissfuse her current reality completely. This is probably the most pimp response given to any girl who ask the "Am I fat?" question.
I say, "You're from Kentucky, you're a southern girl, for the most part YOU FIT YOU quite well, and don't be ashamed of it either". Leala agrees, and she asked me about her.. so I take my hands and go from her face down her sides and say, "Personally, your my type.. you're a woman, you're not thin.. I like a little meat" and I pinch her love handles. They both say, "You're Smooth!"
Leala leaves and its Max and I and her and I are getting really cool, she leans over and we make out for a moment. As Leala, struts back over with the drink I go off and chill in front of the venue, and she knows one of my buddies. He introduces me to her as Juice, and it clicks she asked me if I had a Facebook and she remembers me as "DaJuice Jones" lol.. I smile and before she leaves she hugs me and gives me a kiss on the cheek.
Remember my friends, Not about what you say vs How you say it. For those who don't understand, I leave you with this..
<editorsnote> Nerds, meet my buddy Anwar. We met in Florida last year, and it was because of him that I got to go out on a date with Steve Ward. True story - Anwar tweeted about Steve's Ustream broadcast, and that's where I asked him out. That shit cray! He's a rad mofo, and active in the pick up artist community (PUA) and wants to share his tips and tricks with you today. I only have one more thing left to say ... HIT IT ANWAR!! </editorsnote>
#TalkNerdyToMeLover's @AJonesPUA
W-O-W! Are the only letters I could think of at the moment. I may have experienced my first actually backlash from a female since I joined the community back in 07'.
St. Patrick's Day 2012 will be forever burned into my memory as one of the greatest nights of my life. This is how night of social exploits, dancing, pictures, and flirting all came to this one phrase from the beauty I SNL'ed (Single Night Lay) which has to be my first legit pull from club to seduction Location! (Her place)
"I want to fuck you!!!"
Imagine that! Now think about the surprise I felt when it actually happened. 35 minutes after walking into a bar, talking to girls and flirting. There presented me an offer I couldn't refuse, when the first "I want to fuck you!!" was said, I had to double-check to see if I heard right. After confirmation, I took her hand and simply said, "Let's go." Was she drunk? Yes, clearly so. My place was 10mins away but I chose to drive 20 minutes to take her home.
Inside the Car
Foreplay. Foreplay. Foreplay. She was unlike anything I've dealt with before. She oozed of a slutty sexual demeanor with every lick of my fingers, she close her eyes with every moan transmitting a slight vibration through my fingers. Part of me was overwhelmed by the degree of freaky I was dealing with, the other side was thinking... "I'm going to fuck the shit out of her."
We're about 2 blocks away from her apartment pulling up to stop light. She gazes at me with the doggy dinner bowl look and rushes herself down to my pants. I grab a lock of her hair, pull back from the base and from there I went full-on Clash of the Titans Zeus voice, "Not so fast my dear... sooon, you will meet Perseus." (Yep, that's what I named it) she replies, "By the Gods." - Roleplay has been activated!!!
In the apartment
After a slight delay with getting into the gate. We finally get inside the apartment. I slide my shoes off near the door upon entry. She tosses her keys to the couch and motions to me to follow her to the bedroom. I walk in and her shorts and shirt are already off, I lean on the door to observe her for a moment. She turns to me, asking "Are you going to stand there staring or come fuck me?" I look down, laugh and smile, "You already know", as we start kissing.
The more we kissed the more my inner caveman began to take control. My hand slid up her back to the base of her neck. I wrapped fistful of hair and pulled down. Her body went limp and he arms dropped to her sides. I moved to her neck bit down and start sucking, like clockwork her legs wrapped my mine and I picked her up and threw her to the bed.
Maaan, this is so embarrassing but I have to tell you guys this. As I went to unhook my belt, my Zeus voice broke his silence, "Now, by the council of the Greek Gods... (INSERT GIRLS NAME HERE) I bestow to you, PERSEUS!!" underwear off. (I did actually say that) Since I don't want to be too crude with what happened, I'll summarize them with 3 songs.
Hit it Keith!!!
Round 2 !!!!!
Round 3 !!!
Snoooozzzzzing......
I was the first to wake up in the morning. --- Rise and Shine --- I had an idea she'd wake to my "After Sex Pancakes" but upon looking into the refrigerator I saw nothing but a gallon of water and yogurt. She wakes up about 15mins later, as I was putting on my shoes. At this point everything was cool, we were laughing and doing some mild wrestling but I realized I didn't want to wear out my welcome. I tell her to send me a FR on facebook, and I punch in my number into her phone. And ask her to join me for breakfast... She declines, we kiss and I'm out the door.
The Backlash
We texted for a couple hours afterwards. Then the communication went kinda dead... days afterwards I would text her what's up with any response. So, this past Sunday evening before I was ready to send Jen my post I received this message in my fb inbox from her.
"Listen, the reason I haven't gotten back with you is because I feel like you took advantage of me the night we met. Yes, I'm sure I was making out with you and leading you on, and I may have invited you inside, but I do not remember much of the night. If you had enough sense to drive, then you should have had enough sense to recognize how fucked up I was. A decent guy would have gotten my number, and maybe tried to pursue something another day when I was sober, not had sex with me the first night we met. I cannot be mad at you... I am not naive, and I know there are guys out there who prey on drunk girls, and obviously you are one of those. I would appreciate, however, if you would stop contacting me. Each time you text, call, or message, I have to think about hooking up with a stranger who I really did not want to sleep with. Thanks.
- St.Patty's One night Stand
P.S. The main reason I am writing this is to let you know that what you (we) did was not okay. We obviously cannot reverse the past, but I hope you will learn from this and not do it again with another woman."
Jesus! I guess this was a bitter sweet ending to a good night. I realized that they're girls who like to blame the alcohol or the guy and not let themselves be accountable for their actions. Yes, I did realize she was drunk. I rolled the dice and got snake eyes, how unlucky of me.
The right decision for myself was to sleep with her. I learned a few lessons in the process. How to lead and take advantage of opportunities when presented to you. Thought the consequences could be steep, I valued the great experience. It just sucks that she viewed me that way and I even offered her breakfast a predator wouldn't do that. I'm not going to elaborate on this too long, I'll just chalk it up to the game.
If any men or women have had a similar experience feel free to voice your opinion to me and tweet me.
<editorsnote> Nerds, meet my buddy Anwar. We met in Florida last year, and it was because of him that I got to go out on a date with Steve Ward. True story - Anwar tweeted about Steve's Ustream broadcast, and that's where I asked him out. That shit cray! He's a rad mofo, and active in the pick up artist community (PUA) and wants to share his tips and tricks with you today. I only have one more thing left to say ... HIT IT ANWAR!! </editorsnote>
#TalkNerdyToMeLover's @AJonesPUA
Last year in October I went out 6 days in a row without realizing it. At the end of the 6th day, I was accompanied home by a 5'11 blonde who seemed to have a taste for chocolate chip cookies.
After our private party, I asked her directly "When did you know you were attracted to me?" From what I knew of her already I expected some superficial response like "Because you could douggie." But I was surprised when she said, "I don't know, but the way you dance and how you spoke to everyone around you and kept smiling. I found that to be so attractive."
Take note to the bold lettering in the quote.
That's the focus of today's lesson gents. How to build Social Proof with only brand you need...YOU!!
What is Social Proof? The short term would be... "Any consecutive event that gives evidence of value." For example, the guy at the arcade who won 30 consecutive matches in Tekken. People will continue to gather around to watch him. Same goes for attraction, females will observe you the more they perceive you to be a value source. (Preselection)
<Pause> I'm explaining from the view your out alone.</pause>
It's starts when you walk in. Do NOT and I repeat Do NOT head straight to the bar without at least talking to 3-5 people first. Why you ask? Just think about it, perception is reality. This goes for women and guys alike, people will make assumptions of your value based on how you socialize. From the get go, you come in and start talking, dancing and shooting a few hi-5s to random people. The women will see evidence of your value by the reaction of others.
3 things I do when I walk in:
Get to the club early around 10pm. It's not packed and it's prime for starting conversations with people you don't know.
Talk to a bouncer, beertub girl or bartender. Remember, don't talk for a long time because they are working. Keep it short 30-90 seconds.
Open a few strangers to get myself in the rhythm of talking to people.
After I procure a drink. I always like to open whomever is standing next to me and start a light conversation about the night. Afterwards I'd move to a more traffic area of the club like the dancefloor, near the entrance, exit or the stairs if they have one. From there, you should be seen smiling and having fun.
The How To...
Now, you've set up a home base. Begin to engage the people around you. Befriend everyone within 5-10ft range of where your standing. The home base's purpose is just a spot where you can come back to a re-group. It's true purpose is to create a web of Social Proof, which means your the source of the value in that specific spot of the club.
Spider webs are built from the center then outwards. Imagine that your at the center and in your mind you expend your web out 5-10ft. Picture yourself making people laugh, posing for pictures, dancing and just overall.. being the source of fun in the whole venue. Naturally, you become the observed in your way of being.
In this process, people will notice the source of good emotions is coming from you. While men will normally come and engage you, women approach you indirectly. We call this proximity. This is when girls move closer to the PUA , usually with most interested one not facing us.
Now you've become preselected. To her, you're the shit and nothing else matters. In her mind your value just broke the roof and she wants you to be her personal pogo stick. To understand preselection is as Adam Lyons explains:
So, think about it. The next time your at the bar sitting on the wall with your drink held high. Ask yourself, are you the observer or the observed. You can't make women attracted to you by chilling on the wall putting on your you ate ass face.
Remember to engage and give value to people. Be the flame that lights up the room not the wind who blows it out.
I've ran my mouth long enough today. Thank you for reading everyone, I really appreciate the opportunity to write for TNTML. I'm damn sure bringing the Funk on the next post. Until then ladies.. Keep denying us in the clubs and men.. STOP being Pussies...
Thursday, May 24, 2012 at 2:00PM
As a PUA, I had grown accustomed to rating women on a system from 1 to 10. 
