#NerdsUnite: I can haz funny (one nerds journey around the comedic circuit)

<editorsnote> Nerds, meet my buddy Brandon. We started talking on the Facebook not too long ago, and lemme tell you, this guy can throw in quite the few kneeslappers in his emails. Yep, see Brandon is a comedian who is here today to tell you the real deal on what it's like being "on the circuit." I only have one more thing left to say ... HIT IT BRANDON!!! </editorsnote>

#TalkNerdyToMeLover's @BrandonComedy

October 14th for me marks 3 years of doing stand-up comedy. And as I reflect on the first few years of my comedy career, I look back at all the advice I should have heeded, should have avoided, all of the friendships sacrificed, all of the bridges burned, and one thought permeates most of those memories: could have done that better!

I’ve done a lot of things smartly in comedy:
Constantly wrote material
Didn’t sleep with comedy club waitresses
Developed a decent web presence (Bonus points, I’m on every social media using the same username)

And lots of things could be improved:
I was way too honest/public about how shitty my time in the OKC comedy scene was
I wasn’t ever really that “nice” to most people after shows, I mostly just focused on getting paid and getting home
I don’t have enough good sets on film
I don’t have enough clean jokes

For year three, I’m working on some new things, obviously, I’m not going to go back to OKC and play nice with those guys, but going forward I won’t be so public with my distaste for bad booking policies, lame politics, and bad comics. There are bad comics in every city, and at the end of the day they know they are bad without me pointing it out.

I’m going to focus on hanging out after shows, talking to people in the crowd, getting them more involved. I’m always amazed when I see an audience member and they say it is there xx time seeing xx comic. I’m going to work harder at building those relationships, and also hanging out with my peers after shows. I have a good little group of comic friends here in KC, and hanging out after shows with these guys is sometimes more fun than being on stage.

I’m going to work at filming more sets, more video you have on the web, makes you more accountable to bookers. If someone hears you have a good 30 minutes that’s good, if someone can see it, well that’s infinitely better.

I need to write more clean jokes, I hate writing clean, it’s insanely hard for me, but to work with more regularity clean is the way to go. Dark/edgy/offensive humor is great, but most colleges (the people who book the shows, not the students) want their comedy relatively clean.

As for smaller changes, I am going to focus on developing original content in addition to live shows. Maybe a web series, I don’t know. Something people can watch, after they watch me kill on stage. I need to blog more, and finish this screenplay. I love you all.

Also, if you’re in LA hang out with Chelsea Quinn, she’s fun, and is a witness to my awesomeness (and ability to hit on women).

Also follow me on twitter: @BrandonComedy and check out my new website www.BrandonComedy.com

#nerdsunite

click here to follow Brandon on twitter & don't miss his blog over yonder!

#NerdsUnite: The Trouble with Muses

<editorsnote> Nerds, meet my buddy Jordan. He was one of the first writers here on TNTML and he's a really rad mofo. I forget how we first started talking - but he lives allllllll the way over in Kansas and wants to talk to you about life from his side of the monitor in the keyword of nerd. I only have one more thing left to say ... HIT IT JORDAN!! </editorsnote>

#TalkNerdyToMeLover's @SaintPepsi

I have been drawing and writing for a while now. The rate at which I produce is how I feel I sustain my life. If I am not creating or pushing myself to create, I feel like I’m dying. I know that sounds extreme, but it’s true. I don’t ever want to stop or let up in my pursuit to better myself as an artist or a writer. In fact when I hit an artist block I feel like I’m aging. So as long as I am creating I feel like I am immortal. So every day I draw or write. When I am at work I am thinking of ideas to create, stories to pen, poems to put to paper, and some would think that is draining. I find it exhilarating. I look for inspiration everywhere and therein lay the Muses. I am fascinated with the ability people play in granting you vision into the beauty you can offer through your own art. I have had many muses and some of them may have never even known it. Most who do, are of course excited and thankful to be the cause for creation. So naturally the girls I like or date garner that privilege more than the rest. As I grow to know who they are more and more who they are issues forth from my works of art with more and more detail. Beauty filtered through a pen and they see themselves and smile. Until there comes a new muse.

See I can’t always be responsible for where inspiration comes from. Sometimes it’s as simple as a girl or even a guy sitting across from me at a coffee shop. Other times a musician or model who just seems to spark my interest. I can’t say when or where these times will happen, however I can say it has been troublesome in past relationships. It comes with questions and explanations that are rarely accepted. If you love me why can’t I be the focus of all your artwork? Why do you need to go looking for inspiration outside of the relationship? Artists the world over have no doubt dealt with this. In fact it is a safe assumption that’s why so many artists are hopeless romantics, chasers of the impossible, or single. Finding a significant other that understands the ways of inspiration without the accompaniment of jealousy is a tough treasure hunt. I had one X that actually told me she wanted me to draw her more times than the previous girlfriend. Whom I had been with for over two years. Keep in mind inspiration from the ones you love will be prevalent in your art, but over time that just grows. It doesn’t come in an instant.

Follow that with the fear of creation. What if the way you interpret your loved ones is not to their liking. Many of my artistic friends are very cautious about drawing their friends and more so their significant others. Trust me, I have drawn pictures of people trying to capture who they are when I wasn’t inspired. They asked me to draw them and I failed horribly. It’s a weird world for creators. If you do comedy and you tell someone that’s your line of work the first words out of their mouth are, “Say something funny!” Much the same with an artist or a poet. Draw me or write a poem about me are quick responses you get from anyone that finds out what you do. I cannot tell you the amount of times I was drawing at a bar and had a girl sit down next to me and utter this exact phrase, “Oh you’re an artist, you should draw me!” Why? Have you inspired me? Maybe if you do I will draw you, but your existence at this point isn’t reason to create without merit. Of course you can’t tell someone that. So I usually do a quick sketch to placate their curiosity and that may be good or bad. In this way I relate in some small fraction to the beautiful girls that have to placate and deny suitors for simply being pretty or a girl.

Relationships are complicated enough without adding reasons for jealousy. Previous muses are generally close friends of mine. I don’t mean to brag, but I have a serious number of very beautiful female friends. That certainly doesn’t help. I am not willing to give up these friendships for a new love either. I know it may be stupid... but I hate it when people get into a relationship with a stranger and estrange all their friends because their significant other can’t trust them. What is a relationship, if not trust that someone will be faithful to you.  I digress... the point is that this is just the reality of artists. We may have many muses, many points of inspiration, many reasons to draw. You the new relationship, may not always be the center of our creativity. I can tell you for my part however, if you are the one I love. I will not give you cause to doubt my loyalty. I will never cheat, nor falter in my capacity to be a suitable suitor for you. So long as you understand the trouble that comes with muses.

#nerdsunite

click here to follow Jordan on the twittah!

#DateMySchool: Google Hangout Tonight at 6pm PST

Hi friends, 

Thanks to the awesomeness that was last week and our hush hush first ever DateMySchool Google Hangout, I'll be continuing it this week with some more realness and dating tips. 

Tune in live if you guys want to get on cam, or chat. 

AND WE ARE LIVE!! CLICK HERE TO CHAT

SO FREAKING STOKED TO TALK TO YOU GUYS AGAIN!! 

Oh look ... a cat ... 

#nerdsunite

click here to learn more about Date My School 

#NerdsUnite: Ask That Nerdy Chick (What to do when you're smothering someone?)

We interrupt this post to bring you a message from our friends over at DateMySchool.com. Date smarter, not harder. Nerd on!

It is my goal for 2012 to take a lot of my weird and wonky experiences as a lifecaster and help nerdy peeps out by providing a frank (not shirley) and honest answer to some weird and potentially random questions you may have about life. 

Here is an email I got yesterday ... 

(I preface this by saying I also loaned this duderino some books of mine - hence the box comment since he has yet to mail them back.) 

Alrite, well thanks for reaching out first and foremost, uberly appreciated - secondly this is actually slightly more complicated than you realize. 

This past weekend, I actually met this couple randomly on the street that had been married for 42 years. What is the secret to your success, I asked them?

Freedom, she quickly replied. 

I then looked to her husband and he shook his head in agreement. 

You can't think this one person in the world is going to provide you with everything that you need. They should complement you, but never complete you. 

Huh, I said to her. That's incredibly astute and I think the best answer I've ever heard. 

Relationships won't ever "solve" a problem, if anything, they only magnify them. Before you get into any sort of serious relationship you ABBBSSOOOLLLLUUUUTTTTEEELLLLLYYYY have to do some soul searching. (Hence why I gave this guy my copy of The Alchemist - MY FAVORITE BOOK EVER!!) 

Think of a relationship like a dinner. Do you understand what you are bringing to the table? Have you identified the ingredients on your bliss list? 

On mine, I need to travel, run, volunteer, dance, and have sex. (As a tier two bliss list, I also need to write, have my zen out period listening to music, and take pictures.) Those are my constants in life and genuinely what I need to do as a human being to operate at optimal level.

By understanding what is on my bliss list, I am able to maintain my happiness which in turn provides my life with great value. 

By having VALLLUUEEEE, I am able to stand on my own two feet. (Professional success also gets you there as well. If you have both too, what a nice one two punch!) 

By standing on my own two feet, I can provide everyone I am dating with the freedom they deserve. 

Obviously, this isn't always easy when it comes to matters of love since your "common sense" light switch gets shut off - but the best advice I can offer even in that case is to just let someone be. When you understand your value and when you understand what your constants are, you are less likely to be anxious in regards to other people and self sabotage. 

Nerds are SOOOOOOOO freaking neurotic and that neurosis is our biggest pitt fall since we get in our own way with the stories spoken from our anxiety. 

Now, this guy, I know is in a committed relationship with this chickadee - but for everyone else who might be experiencing this stage while they are simply dating someone, understand this ... until you are in a committed relationship you absolutely. absolutely. absolutely. have to continue dating other people.

Absolutely.

Absolutely.

Absolutely. 

Even if I'm SUPER into a guy, I will still accept dates from suitors. The only thing those scenarios have proven in my case, is that it makes the attraction for that person THAT much stronger - but it not only elevates my confidence in my decision but also allows me to stay sane. 

Live your life, man, pay attention to your bliss and always always always make sure you are harnessing your value. This will allow you to give your mate the freedom they desire which, as my new friends told me, is the key to success. 

Got a question? Drop me an email! JenFriel at TalkNerdyToMeLover dot com

ORRRRR you can message me on Facebook and if it's within 140 characters on the twitter!

Best of luck out there nerds!!

xoxo <3 @JenFriel

PS. And thanks for the sponsorship Date My School! You're not only hooking my friends up with awesome dates, but you're putting food in my belly. MMMMMMM foooooooodddddddd ... k bye. 

click the screenshot to comment on Facebook

#NerdsUnite: Big lights, big city, and a journey into confidence

<editorsnote> Nerds, meet my buddy Jordan. He's a youngin living in the great big apple in the hopes of becoming his dream, a theater director. Will he make it? Won't he? What problems and struggles will he deal with along the way. I have no idea ... so that's why he's here. I only have one more thing left to say ... HIT IT JORDAN!!! </editorsnote> 

#TalkNerdyToMeLover's Jordan Friedman

I know I said last time I’d be continuing the stuff I wrote about in the previous blog, however I’ve noticed something that’s going to help me change topic a bit. This is a little more serious of a blog than I usually write. There won’t necessarily be the Most Interesting Man In The World appearing again and I feel this is more serious than usual for me to end with Stay Nerdy My Friends.  This is my response and story to what I can gather has been a challenging time for Jen, who I consider not only my boss on this site, but someone who I respect greatly not only for letting me write on here and has treated me very well here so far. I feel a great sense of empathy towards her, and I sense this sadness within her writing sometimes (particularly lately) This is my response to this, and my response to this is to share an aspect of me that has consciously affected me for probably at least 15 of my 22 years on earth, if not something like 18. It’s also something I suspect is not going away anytime soon. So in response to Jen being dealt many lemons as of late, here is the story of what I will refer to as my constant lemon.

Since at least the time I was 7 years old, I’ve had heightened anxiety. There’s the possibility that medically this is a generalized anxiety disorder, but there’s also the idea of this merely being a small part of something bigger (that something bigger gets its own blog at some point). Point being, I get anxious often, and whenever I do, I feel it hard.  It’s almost as if the anxiety I feel can be, at its worst, paralyzing, placing me in a state of apathy with me not wanting to exert much energy towards anything. It also feels as if my brain has pressure certainly externally as well as possibly internally. Intangibly I can’t pinpoint exactly what this is in my head, but something always feels wrong in my head when it happens.  Sometimes it’s a long-term anxiety, sometimes it just rushes in as if it were a panic attack (which although it feels like it very rarely do I have the actual symptoms of one). Neither is pleasant, and it’s annoying that I feel as if as much as I’ve attempted to get this under control, it probably isn’t going to go away entirely.

I first started seriously trying to control this probably around freshman year or sophomore year of college, when I realized it was starting to affect my academic performance, and as I recall it was starting to be noticed by my boss as well (He gets another article as well at some point, because I learned more in my college years from this man and the job I had than I learned in all of my courses combined). I took serious steps towards this. I tried therapy again for a little bit, it didn’t quite work the way I wanted it to. To this day I take occasional medicinal Xanax (a lot less than I used to), and while these steps helped, I think one particular thing drove the point home for me, which was simply putting on the metaphorical helmet and getting stuff done. And when I did get stuff done and made choices that helped me get shit done.  I wish I could pinpoint a specific moment that lead me to this realization, but I know one thing. By 2009, I began to become a different person. While I wasn’t entirely there yet (I still wouldn’t say I fully am), this was the first concrete time I can remember actively trying to improve not only my anxiety, but my confidence as well. This was also the point where my anxiety attacks weren’t as paralyzing as they used to be. Granted they still sucked and do occasionally, but I think now even though I still have them, the part of me that needs to work, get shit done, or even just have a good time supersedes the actual attack itself.

Where am I at today with this? Hard to say with my professional career starting to take off. Do I get the anxiety attack occasionally? Absolutely. Do they cause me some serious shit from time to time? Hell yes. But I think where I’m at now is that originally I may have thought my anxiety may have caused me to have major setbacks in my career. Now I think of myself as a professional who happens to have heightened anxiety. It’s certainly not the worst place I could be in with this.  And why did I share all this? As I said before, having Jen be hit with a bunch of lemons during the brief period I’ve been part of TNTML so far was not a pleasant thing to see. My goal was to present a lemon that’s probably been on the vine so to speak for years, and to perhaps present the honesty in a 15 year old plus problem of mine in the attempt for her, or anyone else who could be reading this, to find one thing in in my chronic lemon that can help with their lemons, whether they can be made into lemonade or not. Jen, whatever your lemon is on your vine (and I would have to read through a lot to find out the lemon), whatever is the root of this sadness I’ve seen this month, I do hope it becomes lemonade, possibly even hard lemonade. And to all reading this, I sincerely appreciate a safe atmosphere for me to talk about my anxiety, it’s nice for me to let it out and I hope you all didn’t mind it.

Until next time,

Nerd responsibly.

-Jordan

#nerdsunite

Follw him on Twitter at @jordanbfriedman!