<editorsnote>Hi, I'm Jen Friel, and we here at TNTML examine the lives of nerds outside of the basements and into the social media, and dating world. We have over 75 peeps that write about their life in real time. (Real nerds, real time, real deal.) Sit back, relax, and enjoy some of the stories!!</editorsnote>
A few weeks back I got hit up on twitter by the founder of the South American startup AndesBeat asking if I would mind covering the SF TechCrunch Disrupt for them. See, they can't afford the expensive trip to the states to cover the event so they wanted to find someone local-ish to guest report for them and rock a t-shirt promoting their company.
Dude, corporate sponsored trip to a tech conference??? UUHHHHH yes please!
Carlos and I then connected, they paid for my bus ticket - and boom! Now I'm headed to SF this Sunday to cover the conference!!!
Of course, like a good nerd, my brain IMMEDIATELY went into strategizing the rest of my trip. The last few times I've been to SF I had a car from Ford, or was with someone - so no matter what I always had a place to stay.
Having genuinely never had to take the transit I then tweeted out if SF was a completely transit friendly city. Not only did you guys respond very favorably but a few car service companies read the tweets and offered me free car service!!
Now, thanks to LYFT and SideCar, I will be completely taken care of for the duration of my time up there while I also test out their services and provide honest feedback of the apps.
Transportation to SF: check
Transportation around SF: check
Now, I needed lodging.
Remember a few weeks ago when my buddy @brokeassstuart was in town? Well, he offered up an air mattress at his place ANNYYY time I wanted to come for a visit.
How did Stuart and I meet originally? Twitter, of course!!
We had a TON of mutual readers and you guys actually connected us. Dude, a broke ass and a corporate sponsored minimalist? TELL ME that isn't a match made in heaven.
I hit him up this morning to confirm his availability ...
For the rest.of.my.life. I am going to have to have an extra couch for peeps to crash on in all the places I live. I'm genuinely super good about it now anytime someone hits me up - but I HAVE to keep all my karma in check.
Either way, food and drink are going to be SUPER easy since at conferences there are ALWAYS a ton of mixers and hosted events. I'm already schmoozing my way on some lists ... but I'm going to hit up Trader Joes before the trip as well to get some meal bars (which run under $5).
Dudes, literally that is going to be my ONLY expense for this trip and that is a SAFETY!!!
How AWESOME is that and how NEEDED is this trip in my life?!?!!?!?!
I've had a very reflective couple of weeks, and traveling is on my bliss list so to be able to get out of town for LITERALLY next to nothing melts.my.soul.
So far here is my schedule ...
I get in at 8pm Sunday night, followed by Monday and Tuesday being at the conference all day. Wednesday morning I might hit the conference again if it is still rocking and rolling, but otherwise I am just going to spend lunch at Twitter HQ and then the entire afternoon and evening taking meetings with various start ups.
If you guys want to meet up please please please reach out!! I'm only in the bay area every few months, so I'd REALLY like to meet with you. (hit me up via twitter @jenfriel or email: jenfriel@talknerdytomelover d c)
THEENNNNNNN ... depending on how busy I am, I might stay until either Thursday or Friday.
A friend of mine is coming into town on Friday, so I might stay and see him - but fortunately when you're taking the bus the departure is always SUPER flexible.
Very very very special thank you to Emily at LYFT, Blake at SideCar, and of course, Carlos and crew at AndesBeat. If you spot me at the conference say howdy!! I'll be in the AndesBeat tee!! Wahoo!!!!
Rock on, nerderinos!! Can't WAIT to meet more of you!! xoxo
<editorsnote> Nerds, meet my buddy Derek - I met him when I was professor for a day at CSF. Really rad dude, and he wants to come on board to help explain to us nerdy folk the wild world of sports. Smart dude, and knows his shizzy shiznat. I only have one more thing left to say ... HIT IT DEREK!!! </editorsnote>
#TalkNerdyToMeLover's @DerekJ_AllDay
Hey guys! So, I won’t be able to do the rankings for part three. Honestly, I was so busy over the weekend that I just didn’t have time. Considering I already gave you guys quite a bit of help for the first 100 picks you should be fine. If you aren’t then just keep trucking! The only way to be good at fantasy “anything” is experience. So, instead of part three of my FF ranking I will just breakdown the start of the college football season over the weekend and talk to you guys longer next week.
If you have ever tried to follow NCAA football and felt confused don’t worry about it. To be honest, it is difficult for me to commit a lot of time to college football during NFL and MLB season. The increasing ambiguity of the ranking system that decides the postseason also doesn’t help with my level of interest. As the season is played out there is a computer controlled ranking system that essentially takes every variable into account and decides the top teams in the league. The championship game is decided by the simple #1 vs #2 style, but the other bowl games are decided by invitation. Owners or general managers of these bowl programs are allowed to invite the teams of their choice, and sometimes those choices are driven by the almighty dollar.
This is why many people are big supporters of a playoff system rather than the current system. The issue as always becomes the money factor. The current system provides a lot of revenue and creates a lot of jobs for many people, but what if the playoff system goes wrong somehow? There is always risk I suppose, but the logic of the playoff system is obvious.
In my household there are two teams that will constantly have our attention every time the NCAA football season kicks off. My father’s favorite team is USC, and naturally mine is UCLA. If you have followed either team over the year you know that the stories are incredibly different. USC is a perennial contender for the National Championship bowl game or one of the highly acclaimed bowl games. UCLA is a perennial contender for what my Dad and I like to call the Toilet Bowl (if they get into a bowl game at all). This is true once again this year as USC is ranked #2 behind almighty Alabama as #1. UCLA also won and it appears that we have finally found a quarterback that we can count on. We have hope in Westwood!
Considering most teams pad their schedule with an easy win in week 1 there weren’t any big upsets. There were two games of interest though. Previous #2 Alabama defeated #8 Michigan in a complete blowout. That is the reason Alabama is now ranked #1 even though USC also won. #13 Michigan St. beat #24 Boise St. in the only other game that was between two ranked teams. The season always starts slow, but big games will be coming very soon! Talk to you guys next week!
<editorsnote> Nerds, meet my buddy Jordan. He was one of the first writers here on TNTML and he's a really rad mofo. I forget how we first started talking - but he lives allllllll the way over in Kansas and wants to talk to you about life from his side of the monitor in the keyword of nerd. I only have one more thing left to say ... HIT IT JORDAN!! </editorsnote>
#TalkNerdyToMeLover's @SaintPepsi
After the Yes, I was pretty pumped for a few days, knowing Ophelia though I wasn’t going to call a lot, or text. She hated over communication, which was one of her reasons for not choosing me in the first place. The whole “Independent Woman Thing”. So a few days go by, I hazard a call. No reply. Well having gotten a yes, I kinda figured that might mean more talking. So I wait a few days more. No call. Now I have a strict rule about calling and texting. Never call more than once a day, never text more than twice without answer. If someone doesn’t respond then, they don’t want to. Simple as that, it’s the dawn of a new age. Sometimes texts don’t go through, but if you call and leave a message you know that went through. I let another few days pass and I call her again. Nothing. Seriously, miffed at this point, I then go about my business. At the bars that night with a group of friends she calls. I leap out of my chair and ran outside to answer.
She sounds slightly annoyed. I grew very perceptive of her tonation and mannerisms. She starts with, “So we need to talk...”, and every guy in the world knows that crushing line. She started talking and we talked for an hour about her and I and how she really felt about everything. She talked at length about how she just really couldn’t make herself feel the way I wanted her to feel for me. I said I understood. She went on to tell me how I’m everything she should want and yet she just doesn’t feel it. So I asked her, “You don’t think you will ever feel this way?” She replied, “No.” I told her, well that’s all I need. She immediately went into a I’m so sorry, and all that jazz. I just said, “Look that’s all I needed, that’s all I ever wanted. A clear yes or no. You always gave me, not now, I’m not ready, maybe in the future, or soon.” I wish I had used the lemon rule then. It would have saved me a year, and a whole mess of heartache. She asked if I was Ok and I replied, “I have never felt so free in all my life.” Which may have sounded a little over joyous. Dear audience for 11 years this girl had been at the back of my mind. The great, “WHAT IF?” She had been carried through every relationship I ever had, and that whole year kept me terminally in a love coma. Free was the understatement. I had finally, gotten an answer to a question that had haunted me forever. Once again it was still a NO and rejection sucks. However, I no longer had this cloud over me. This hesitant part of me telling myself there may be something better that I had missed.
Going back to the bar my friend Sully caught me and asked if everything was alright. She’s one of my closest friends and has always been there for me. I said, “Actually... Yes. It’s over.” I just breathed in and let it pass. Just like that the ball and chain of wonder was shed and I walked with a lighter step. Freedom has its costs, sometimes it’s not getting what you want. Not getting what you want isn’t fun. In the long run. If you are so focused on getting one thing you miss things that are right before your eyes. You blind yourself to the wonders that people hold around you. Your pursuit becomes your passion, and your true passions are left out to dry. I will never abandon my true passions again; I will never set myself aside for a single person forsaking all other options. I am whole again and I intend to keep it that way. This may have been a very bumpy road to travel, but I am very glad I saw it through to the end. No more what if? I never have to have that shadow over my soul again.
To the girl in this story, I don’t wish her ill will. She didn’t rob me of anything, I stole this time from myself. I only wish she had been more honest with me at the very start. We were friends and while I still think many of our best relationships are born in friendship, some just aren’t meant to be. So there you have it. My greatest heartbreak. It feels good finally getting it out of me. Maybe the next girl I’m with will enjoy my dedication to her, my art, and writing that she inspires. Maybe she’ll like to communicate and find a love for both my soul and heart. That’s the girl I’m seeking. That will be the girl I settle down for. Until then let’s get back behind this crazy adventure that has become my life.
I don't know what hormone I am secreting right now ... but GOOD GOD are men treating me so differently. These are all people I've met IRL too. So there's not a CHANCE they've read anything that I'm manifesting in my life on this website.
Hold on I'm getting ahead of myself, here's the song that goes with the post ...
I've been saying all year that I was definitely starting to look, but over the last few weeks after realizing I was slipping back into a depression leading a life that was "fun" but "meaningless" was COMPLETELY unacceptable.
I immediately changed my phone number, negating all of the booty calls and bullshit texts from guys that literally mean nothing to me. Being a female you genuinely can't help the attention you get from men, but what you can do is put up boundaries with their access to you.
Good luck getting access now, mothafuckas!!!
I've only given my actual phone number to a very select few very close friends and everyone else is getting a google voice number that I have set on my iCal to be changed every 30 days.
I.
Mean.
Business.
I'm sick of this bullshit and I'm sick of constantly isolating myself. I want to get married and I want to have kids in the next 5 years, and to get to that stage I have to let down my walls and allow someone to actually get close to me. To allow someone to get close to me, I have to lay down the scar tissue and not be so afraid of getting burned again.
All of this sounds SUPER EASY to do in theory, but in actuality the execution is really fucking hard.
Either way ... I've decided one of my first doable actions in this process would be the end of all of the casual dating that I do. It was fun at first getting to know so many people and truly understanding from a first hand experience how people operate - but after not only the 103 dates in 9 months but the fact that TO THIS DAY I still average 2 dates a week, I am somewhere around "cannot be phased" and "completely disinterested." I experienced so much life that I actually desensitized myself to it and forgot what everything meant.
I then put my foot down and said screw just grabbing a beer with dudes, I want a dinner!! I want to actually SPEND time getting to know some of these men, and who knows - maybe be proved wrong throughout the process.
With that declaration MUST have come a change in my energy because HOLY HELL have men been responding differently to me.
Then yesterday, while waiting for the bus after this casting I had to go on, this guy approached me and asked if he could buy me a muffin.
Can I have breakfast with you, he asked?
I politely turned him down, but then he asked if he could give me a ride to anywhere I wanted to go.
He seemed super sweet and harmless, but it's not my scene to accept rides from strangers (only strangers with candy) so he peaced in the middle east.
That was so peculiar I thought. I sent a declaration out to the universe about having a meal with men, and now two days in a row - men have approached literally asking me to dine with them. Stellar manifestation!!!
Interesting.
THEEENNNNN I get into the office over at io/LA and I walked over to Fresh and Easy to get a gatorade. On the way, I pass this tour bus company. Almost every day the guys will say something complimentary. Never, ever, a cat call - but yesterday, one of the guys literally grabbed me taking motioning me to take off my headphones.
You look like a manga character, he said.
Like the comic? I asked.
Yeah, he said laughing.
Aw, thank you, I replied and went about on my way.
THEN on the way BACKKKKK, he stops me again this time handing me his card ...
I'd like to take you to dinner this week, he said. Dinner AND a movie.
I stare at him kind of shocked.
Really ... again?!?!
Guys have NEVER NEVER NEVER asked me to dinner prior to this week. The common vocabulary used is "would you like to get a drink?" or "can I take you out?" which will then translate upon making plans to just mean end up meeting at a bar strictly for drinks.
The ONLY thing that has changed is FREAKING ME!!!!!! Again, these guys aren't people I'm meeting online, this is just random out and about-ness.
I then actually had my first fancy pants dinner date (scheduled weeks in advance) and I have to admit I'm kinda not mad at it.
He was older, super cute, uberly successful, already has a daughter.
I've never done online dating, he admitted over dinner at Koi.
I'm very private and secretive. You do understand the paradox then of dating someone like me? Yes, he says, I understand - but you also have to ask yourself, why did you go out on a date with me? I guess you're right, I admitted. Maybe I'm seeking a change as well.
We talked partially about my business, not honestly at my choosing but more because he was so curious about everything that I do.
You're a walking billboard? he asked but what about when you want to settle down and have kids? Would you keep publishing everything?
I'm a lioness, I then admitted. I don't even think I'd post a SINGLE Facebook picture of my child when I have them. I'm very very very protective but I guess we'll just have to cross that bridge when I come to it.
I then of course thought about it, and realized well, I'm the one putting it out there, so this is what I get. I don't want people talking about him, I thought. I'm not okay with it. </tangent>
I then explained to my date, again, that I am looking for other lifecasters to come in so I can groom them. My job right now is to bring other people on that can do what I do. I found the business and the formula, but now it's time for new leaders - I'm not special only awesome and this brand will one day be MUCH bigger than just me.
We had a lovely conversation and meal. I wasn't mad at it, but I honestly could have told you in the first 5 minutes that I would have had a second date with him.
I'm really really really good at reading people.
He's now off to Singapore for work, and I'm off to San Fran this Sunday for a corporate sponsored adventure so our schedules aren't going to match up for a bit - but either way, it was a good first start.
The entire process though is still so so hard though. I know I can't have an attachment to Antonio, and I am COMPLETELY okay with that ... but he set this bar. We connected SO much on our first date. I kept thinking with my date last night that if the tables were turned and if this guy flew me to Vegas what would I do?
I thought about it and thought about it ... and I very very very honestly don't think I would have said yes. There is this calm and centered-ness in Antonio that I have yet to experience with another man. I'm extremely dominant and with him I just shut everything off.
HAHA I'm smiling even just thinking about his expression.
Most guys want to out dominate a domme, but he's genuinely the only guy that I've ever met that could out strategise me enough to be able to actually do it. </tangent>
I'm certainly devoted to this cause and am willing to accept the fact that Antonio was a fluke and an anomaly. It's my responsibility right now to keep declaring what I want from my life and from the universe and allow it to manifest.
I don't have plans Saturday night so I'm hoping to schedule a date in enough time - but either way, my next true blue dinner date won't be until next Friday after I get back from SF.
The latest and greatest is up on Gofobo, and in it I saw the movie The Words.
Dudes, this was such a horribly bad film. Like bad. bad. bad. bad. bad. The trailer for it didn't look half bad though... check it out for yourself ...
The execution of the film and ... just everything about it was horrible. horrible. horrible.
Thursday, September 6, 2012 at 11:23AM
A few weeks back I got hit up on twitter by the founder of the South American startup AndesBeat asking if I would mind covering the SF TechCrunch Disrupt for them. See, they can't afford the expensive trip to the states to cover the event so they wanted to find someone local-ish to guest report for them and rock a t-shirt promoting their company. 
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