#NerdsUnite: Play on playa! (Breaking down the world of sports so you don't have to!)

<editorsnote> Nerds, meet my buddy Derek - I met him when I was professor for a day at CSF. Really rad dude, and he wants to come on board to help explain to us nerdy folk the wild world of sports. Smart dude, and knows his shizzy shiznat. I only have one more thing left to say ... HIT IT DEREK!!! </editorsnote>

#TalkNerdyToMeLover's @DerekJ_AllDay

Happy MLB Trade Deadline day everyone! July 31 is the annual mark for all non-waiver trades between major league baseball teams. After that day, trades may still be completed, but it is much more difficult for them to process because a player must “clear waivers” before they are traded. Clearing waivers is a rather complicated process, but in essence it gives teams the ability to strategically block a team with a better record from making a trade. This means that there is almost no way for a big name player to switch teams after today.

This part of the season is always incredibly exciting because it is the time when a team, more specifically a general manager, can make trades and attempt to strategically improve your ball club. Some teams are interested in getting younger and building for the future, while other teams are focused on getting players that can make a difference for them right now. There is a common misconception among fans that the manager is the person who makes the trades for the team, but they are wrong. It is actually the general manager who works in tandem with the owner (and his/her money) to make the trades happen.

We have seen many compelling trades from some serious contenders this season. The most shocking, but not really when you think about it, was Ichiro Suzuki being trades from the Mariners to the Yankees. He was tired of losing and anybody could understand that, but sometimes the business of baseball can be very hard on the fans. On the flip side, sometimes the business can make the game unbearably exciting when your club trades for a big name pitcher that you have always coveted on another team. This happened in the form of the biggest trade so far this season when the stacked Angels traded for Zack Greinke from the Brew Crew of Milwaukee. Greinke is a 28 year old ace who has the ability to compete for a CY Young award annually; in fact he won that award in 2009. The Angels are clearly a team that is in a “win-now” mind set, and because of that their GM Jerry Dipoto has gone out and got the best pitcher on the trade market. This sets the table for a great finish to the division race as we approach the playoffs.

Other big arms such as Cliff Lee, Matt Garza and James Shields are all rumored to be available so keep an eye out on ESPN.com or mlbtraderumors.com for the latest news. Most of these trades happen very last minute.

Here is a message for all the fantasy baseball players out there. Don't forget that the trade deadline for fantasy is on August 10. Some players that I am currently trying to trade for in my league are Uggla, Cuddyer and Longoria. I consider all of these players great value picks and you can probably find a way not to give up too much in any acquisition. Longoria is obviously a 2^nd round quality pick, but he has been hurt all season. This gives many owners a reason to trade him, because you just never know how a player is going to play off an injury. I consider this an opportunity! You will never be able to trade for Longo when he is healthy, so strike while the iron is hot. Tweet me if you make any awesome trades!

Thanks for reading again guys! Tweet me @DerekJ_AllDay. Have a good week!

#nerdsunite

Click here to follow Derek on Twitter!

#RealDeal: The Five Self-Proclaimed “Nerds” to Avoid on Dating Sites

<editorsnote> Steven Cobb is a professional web developer and an amateur dating coach who is passionate about helping men and women find their perfect match. He lives in the Bay Area with his family. Among his current projects is online publishing for DatingMoxie.com, a website that reviews and analyzes the biggest brand names out there in online dating. </editorsnote>

#TalkNerdyToMeLover's Steven Cobb

So, you finally signed up for a dating website, and you’re browsing people’s profiles. The problem is that it’s really hard to decide who, if anyone, you want to try talking to. Some people are obvious rejects: the ones who expressly state that they are looking for the opposite of what you want, the guys that put “killing puppies” under hobbies, the girls who have 3 kids but say that they’re “waiting until marriage”- these are easy to spot.

Sometimes though, it’s not that obvious. You’re a self-proclaimed nerd and you’re looking to find someone who also appreciates the nerd lifestyle. Unfortunately, this does not narrow your choices, because it seems like just about everyone and their gangster brother is describing themselves as nerds these days. But there are certain indicators that the nerd in question is someone you should avoid. Here are the terms that people use to describe themselves that imply that you may be better off just clicking the “next” button.

The “Insert Movie/ Book Title Here” Nerd

Pop culture is great. Geek Culture is better. And getting caught up in a fantasy world is a lot of fun. But you are on a dating website. If you are defining yourself by a movie about wizards or a book series about vampires, elves, dwarves, or all of the above, you are telling potential mates that they had better appreciate that book or it is over. There are a lot of “nerd” trends out there. To limit yourself to one seems pretty confining, doesn’t it? So avoid this close-minded person unless you’re just as obsessed about that one fantasy tome as they are.

The “I look kinda nerdy, but…” Nerd

Again, some of these things are perfectly acceptable for people to say in everyday conversation. But the fact that they are putting this in a public forum that they are trying to woo people with changes things. The information in this profile should be things that are either important to them or define them. This person is obviously self-conscious about their looks. They do not embrace their nerdiness and are probably not happy with their lives. The same can be said about the variation - the “Yeah, I look like a nerd, whatcha gunna do ‘bout it?” type. These people are just as self-conscious, but are more aggressive about it. You know the old saying that you have to be happy with yourself before you can be happy with somebody else? You also don’t want to date someone who is not happy with themselves, because they will never be happy with you.

The “My humor is too nerdy for you” Nerd

This person is a hipster-snob who knows all things nerd. Mere mortal nerds will never be good enough for them. They probably know canon for every superhero comic and have every elemental table joke known to man memorized. Don’t waste your time trying to please this person; they are probably compensating for something anyway.

The “I spend all my spare time organizing my Magic Card collection” Nerd

This statement is obviously not true, because this person created an online dating profile. Also, these are as bad as the first type of nerd because they limit themselves to one interest. You want someone a little more well-rounded than that, don’t you? If they need to define themselves by one thing, doesn’t that raise a flag about the other aspects of their lives (which hopefully exist).

The L33T 5p34k-3r

R34lly? You’re going to strain the eyes of potential dates by making them replace numbers with letters in their minds? Yeah, there are two main reasons this is a bad plan. 1). That’s too much effort. 2). If you’re using a so-called “elite” language, you go into the 3^rd type of nerd category. These people are trying way too hard and probably use video games to escape from their depressing lives.

These are just a few of the stereotypes people use to describe themselves that indicate they are probably not a desirable person to be in a relationship with. Are there more that you’ve stumbled across that the world should be aware of?

#nerdsunite

#NerdsUnite: Comfort zone be gone!

<editorsnote> Nerds, meet my buddy Chelsea. She's a newbie to our loverly state of California and is currently trying to find her own voice and find her own way. Gosh, aren't we all??? She's here today to talk about her journey in life, love, and all things nerd.  I only have one more thing left to say ... HIT IT CHELSEA!!</editorsnote>

#TalkNerdyToMeLover's @chelofthesea

For some reason, I've hit a wall in my writing lately. Every time I sit down to write a post or take my journal out to write or even sit down at work to draft up some template emails...nothing comes out. I don't know what is going on. Every now and then I hit these rough patches and I can't seem to get anything onto paper. And I must say, my well-being greatly declines! Writing is good for my soul. 

My journey with writing began when I was just a wee lass... The first real memory I have of even thinking about writing was after watching Harriet the Spy.  At six years old, I knew I needed a journal of my own. Throughout elementary school I had loads of diaries, in which I would only fill a couple pages of before discarding it and moving on to the next one. Finding these childhood musings are hilarious, because as ridiculous as they are, it's awesome to realize I was already using writing as an outlet before I even knew what it meant to have an outlet. I was writing about being frustrated with my younger brother, about the cute boy at school who just didn't seem to notice me, and about how much I hated having to move away from the house I was born in. Around this same time, my mom also had me start journaling every night, making a list of a few things I was thankful for. Since we didn't grow up with religion or prayer, I think this was my mom's way of reminding us to reflect and be grateful for the lives we were given. (Ah, what a wonderful woman she was. Seriously, anything good in me is thanks to having her.)

Moving onto middle school, I slipped into my emo phase and writing became even more important to me.  During this time, journaling moved from the random pink and purple diaries, adorned with Lisa Frank stickers and hand drawn hearts, littered about my room, to an online platform. I was an avid blogger before I even knew the word blogging existed. I started off writing on a wbeiste called Blurty (because Xanga was for the weird goth girls or the Asians, and I was clearly an emo kid) before moving on to Livejournal in high school. I really don't know how I would have made it through middle school without my Blurty. Not only was it somewhere I updated about my daily life: who I was hanging out with, what was going on at school, how frustrating it was to be in love with your best friend who didn't love you back, etc. It also served a place for me to process my mom's disease and what it meant to be losing your mom at such a young age. Looking back through those entries breaks my heart but also amazes because I was so aware of how I would feel. With each sentence I wrote, I knew how much it was going to hurt and I was preparing myself for it. I remember at one point my mom found my online journal and started leaving anonymous comments -- when I found out it was her I was SO PISSED and felt like my privacy had been violated. This is probably a sign of how private I would be about my writing even as I got older. This Blurty was also a platform for me to try out more creative forms of writing... There is definitely a poem or two published on there, a writing form I wouldn't revisit until college.

High school is when writing became a more consistent part of my daily life. Not only was I writing in my Livejournal on a daily basis, but I was also on the school newspaper, and acted as editor-in-chief for three years. This gave me the chance to write in a more public way than ever before. Of course, I wrote typical news articles, covering the girl's tennis team and the change in cafeteria policy, but I was also able to share my opinions. As someone who was raised to share her opinions and not just accept the status-quo it was so liberating and exciting to finally have a platform where I can explain my beliefs and people would read them! Thinking back, I'm sure nobody read my column. Keeping up with my Livejournal also provides me a way of remembering exactly what it felt like to be me at that time: dealing with the death of my mom and falling in love for the first time.

College is sort of the dark-ages when it comes to my affair with the written word. Though I started off as a Journalism major, I no longer viewed writing as something to be done for pleasure. This was ultimately the reason I dropped journalism and picked up psychology, along with realizing you don't need a journalism degree to be a writer. I never want writing to be a chore... It's far too important to my sanity to be something I don't enjoy doing in my free time as well. After realizing this and shifting my vision on my craft, I once again started to enjoy writing. I bought a journal and vowed to write in it until I filled up every page. To carry it with me no matter what. (I just pulled it out of my purse and looked back at the first entry, dated in August 2010). While it still isn't full, it's always with me and I continue to write in it on a frequent basis. But not frequent enough.

All this being said, what I’ve discovered is that even with my writing I'm falling into a comfort zone. Writing for TNTML has weirdly tricked my mind into thinking that I'm doing enough. That I'm processing enough through my weekly posts. That there is no need for more writing. But I couldn't be more wrong. Writing is about more than just having other people read it, it's the way in which I learn the most about myself. Honestly, I've had more realizations about who I am and what I want and why I do what I do while writing than I have doing anything else. Sitting at the beach, journal and chai in hand is probably when I am most at peace. But at the same time, randomly pulling out my journal at a red light to jot down a thought is equally as vital to who I am as Chelsea. The written word connects with me on this other level I can't even explain. I know I'm not an incredible writer. I wish my mastery over language was stronger. But this is all something I’m working on!

 So as I push myself out of my comfort zone in extrinsic ways, I need to focus on pushing myself intrinsically as well. Most of the ways I have challenged myself are in ways others can hold me accountable so I am a little scared to try something that others won’t know if I'm succeeding at or not. But I want to write more; I'm tired of feeling like a phony when telling people I'm a writer. So here’s the plan: I am going to try and write every single day, and writing for work does not count. Before bed, I will pull my journal out and pour out whatever comes to mind. I love the practice of stream of consciousness writing. It's not only great for your creativity but also so good to just see where your mind goes. I am also going to work on reaching out to other blogs and seeing if I can contribute anywhere else. TNTML is the perfect place to write about the journey about coming out of my comfort zone, but there are so many sides to me and I really miss sharing my opinion on social issues so I hope to find a place to share those. If not, I'll keep them on my personal blog (which I am going to start updating with all of these posts and old writing from high school/college). I also want to give myself the freedom to write more creatively, whether that means poetry or fiction, I don't really know. But it's going to happen and I can't wait. Oh, and as an aside to this I'm going to start reading more. Basically every time I go through a writing dry spell, I also pull back on how much I read.  Friends, you will all know when I'm writing more regularly because I am so much more in touch with myself and overall a better version of Chelsea.

What do you nerds to do as a way of processing and being more in touch with your true self? Tweet me! I want to hear about it. And please please please send me book suggestions.

#nerdsunite

click here to follow Chelsea on twitter!

#RealDeal: Baiting for Success (Closing A Cute Clothing Store Clerk in 2 Minutes)

<editorsnote> Nerds, meet my buddy Jordan; he's a dating coach. Wait, not like "a" dating coach ... lemme rephrase that, he is THE dating coach. He has a show on SiriusXM called "Game On" and he's a super smarty pants when it comes to examining social dynamics. No ... like for real. HIT IT JORDAN!!! </editorsnote> 

#TalkNerdyToMeLover's Jordan Harbinger

You’ve probably made this mistake 10 times this week already.

You go to pay for something you picked out in a store and the clerk is absolutely gorgeous.  While your mind races to find the “right” thing to say, you wind up missing the opportunity.

I witnessed a textbook example of a guy doing it wrong, immediately followed by a guy doing it right.  Here is how it happened:

I was waiting in line behind two guys, both about the same age and both with average looks.  The clerk ringing us up was stunning.  The first guy approached the checkout counter and placed a few items next to the register.  The clerk initiated the conversation:

Beautiful Clerk: “Hi, how are you” (relatively dead-faced, because she greets 1000 customers per day the same way)

Guy1: “Fine…how are you?” (his mind racing, probably trying to remember a good clerk routine or how to do the cube game)

BC: (still relatively expressionless) “Fine”

Silence.

BC rings up the items, places them in a bag and hands them to Guy 1.  He leaves, wondering what he could have said to get something going with her.

THEN, the second guy approached the counter.  This time, before she could even address him, HE initiated the conversation.

Guy2: (with a relaxed smile and sincerity) “Hi – How are you?”

Beautiful Clerk: “Good – how are you” (smiling and looking G2 in the eye)

G2: “Fine…(long pause) annnnd a little bit tired.”

BC: “You too huh?” (her tone is suddenly animated) “I went to this concert last night – it was awesome; they played 3 hours straight and we wound up getting home at 2AM.  THEN just 10 minutes ago my girlfriend called up to say someone just gave her a pair of tickets to tonight’s show at Red Rocks (a gorgeous local amphitheater).  We’re gonna ride our bikes there tonight.  I can’t believe it – I don’t know if I’m going to make it – my friend is nuts!”

G2: “You’re BOTH nuts!  But not for biking – I could never go out with a girl who doesn’t love biking.

BC: Laughs

G2: “Ok, enough chit chat – ring me up, Armstrong – I’ve got to go, but I’m texting you tonight to find out if you made it.  (pulls out his phone) What’s your #?”

BC: “That’s forward” (smiling, pauses, then tells him her number)

G2: “I go biking every Thursday afternoon – its great conditioning – wait for my message and maybe you can try to keep up with me sometime” (laughs, takes his bag and leaves)

What made the difference?  Guy 2 did two made two important things that led to his success:

By initiating the conversation, he interrupted a pattern of interaction that the clerk has thousands of times every day.  When he interrupted her pattern, he got her to notice him as different and not just another customer.

He BAITED the conversation.  When she asked him the very mundane “How are you?” question, he answered “fine” and added the BAIT “…annnnd tired.”

By BAIT, I mean he added something to the conversation that the clerk could, if she were interested in interacting with him,  ‘bite’ on and use it to continue the conversation.  Notice how G2’s addition of “….annnnnd tired” was not funny, brilliant, or anything too hard to come up with.  It was simply different, and honest, and something that she could have asked him about, elaborated upon (as she did), or ignored, depending upon her interest level in him.

He also made some other good moves including assuming her interest in him, behaving confidently, taking the lead in the conversation and telling her what he wanted her to do (not asking her anything like “would you like to go biking sometime?”)  Basically, he treated her like he would a friend.  But even if you’re not yet at the level of confidence to pull off the rest of his pickup, ANYONE can put some bait out there.

Next time you’re about to have one of those conversations we all have 1000 times, BAIT your answer, and watch what happens.  At worst, nothing happens.  At best, you’ll connect with someone you never thought you would, effortlessly.

#nerdsunite

If you dig this and want to learn more from Jordan and The Art of Charm team, then visit http://www.theartofcharm.com.  You can also interact with Jordan on Facebook.

Words of Wisdom with @Jesus_M_Christ