They're STILL Talking Nerdy Baby #Nerdsunite

Holy fuckerdy ... you guys are STILL commenting, emailing, and all that fun stuff about my epicly god awful date on Sunday. (Read more about that here) Seriously the worst. Like the worst ever. I fucking cried, man!!!! Who makes a girl cry on a first date?? Wrong on SO many levels!!! Here were some of my favorite responses (which btw, if yours isn't posted, dont be mad. I'm sure I responded back as I can't post everyones. And if I didn't reply back, or post your comment - bug me. @JenFriel ... I might not have seen it)

so…

tonight i read your post(s) about your awful date… *side note, while i was reading it, i totally thought to myself “does this guy have aspergers?” and then to read that someone else asked the same thing, totally made me LOL (wait, does that acronym mean laugh out loud or laughing out loud, because the latter would NOT make sense…sooooooo…).

anyway, not going to say i was compelled to comment…but…i felt like i should say something…somewhere…yet i still have no idea what…not that it matters or it should be rehearsed or…ya…blah.

one thing i know, when i opened up itunes and hit my randomize button, this song came on…and then i KNEW i should…even if it’s not directly…so here goes (i say that like i’m not already talking to you, lol <—what did we decide that meant again?)

i cried for you in my soul reading those two posts…hurt.my.heart. and i think because it just hurts to see someone who is a pillar of awesome in a vulnerable state…like seriously…wanted to punch him.

but then again, everyone is entitled to their opinion and way of being right? even if their alter-ego is douchey mcdoucherson…while reading i was thinking “i need some care bear stare (start at 3:39) action or wonder twin powers…orrrrrrrrrrr both. it could totally happen.

i guess it’s just a roll with the punches kind of date and learn from it? that sounds semi-appropriate…even though i totally wanted/want to kick this dude’s ass.

some people learn better by doing, rather than by being told…me…i learn from others…take my mom for example…she sucks at being a mom, i know for a fact, i.will.NEVER.be.like.her...i do not need repeat her mistakes to realize that…you, i see as someone who is totally “let’s see how this goes” and then figure it out after…or “just because you had a bad experience, doesn’t mean i will”…wait…i’m kind of like that too…never mind (it’s late)….but…on occasion, i’ll see how something went for someone else and decide not to repeat it because it caused them pain…that’s good enough for me. soooooooo…maybe “misery” was wrong to reference before i started this little rant…ahhh, LOL (again, meaning?)

now i’m just rambling and have no idea what i’m saying…it’s time for bed…maybe i’ll edit this in the morning, maybe i won’t…who knows…and maybe i’ll have crazy dreams of kathy bates with a sledgehammer.

happy thoughts, happy thoughts, happy thoughts…and flashlight tag

time for bed.

i’m done.

blah blah blah

#love

ps – don’t scratch out that tattoo yet, it’ll happen…don’t give up.

------ AMAZING!!! Thank you so so so much babe -----------

Click here to read the gawker article

Thanks so so so so so much guys for the comments! Really meant the world to me. Yah, dude, he's just messed. Ain't mad at it, whatever, we're all on our own path - but he shouldn't have kept asking for validation. It not only showed how unbelievably insecure he was, but it set in my mind false expectations.

I am happy to report that last night I picked myself right back up and went out on another date ...

... and how'd it go???

I'm ... not ... tellinnnggggggg. Mwahahahahaha!! I had an AH-MAZING time!!! And that's all you get for now. =) =) =)

Seriously nerderinos, thanks so so so much for the support. That experience was fucking weird - and dude, I'm saying it was weird. hahahahahaahahaahahahaahaha

#loveyousosososolongtime

They're Talking Nerdy Baby: #NerdsUnite

Wow. Wow. Wow. The comments, tweets, and emails today about my date last night have been making my LIFE!!! Thank you guys so so so so much for the support. (If you haven't read the latest, this dude made me fucking cry, man. I never cry ... ever. He kicked me while I was down TWICE IRL, and then once on skype.) It's funny, I'm currently helping out Marni at @WingGirlMethod with her social media, and we just had our weekly call - she goes, does that dude have aspergers?? I started laughing so hard. hahaha, no, he's a rad dude - but we were clearly sending 100 mixed messages to each other, and then we were both radically honest which was just a recipe for disaster.

Horrible.

Horrible.

Horrible. Date.

Worst ever, want nothing to do with the dude.

But yeah, read the story here - and here's a bitchin email I got in response from it that I wanted to share ...

Couple of things.

I won't post about a dude that I like until I feel him out a bit. I would never ever ever post on a dude that I like, or post on things that happened until things were out of "stage 1." I can't do it - it gives an unfair advantage to the dude by being able to hear my inner most thoughts, and takes away the thrill of the hunt.

It. Does. Not. Work. I learned that on my 103 dates, of the 4, there were 2 that I liked a lot, and posted about ... and then they got weird. So lesson learned.

I share my life with the world. Is it weird? Prolly, but for me it's 1 part spiritual, 1 part work, and all parts awesome. I came to life in ways I didn't know were possible when I started this site. I've always had bat shit experiences, and really really really weird encounters - now it's fodder for the site. Ah-mazing! So yeah, that's me, Jen, and my constant. I'm a people magnet, weird shit will ALLLWWAYYYSSSS happen.

Does it effect the pool from dudes that want to date me? 100%

Abso-freaking-lutely it does.

But if something this awesome made me come to life, I don't want a partner in my life in any capacity that isn't interested in being included. I do understand that when I do get in a relationship I will switch into more of a producer mode instead of content creator, but I will cross that bridge when I come to it.

It's absolutely INCREDIBLE though that I can be so down, and instead of wallowing in it, I release it in a post (which is cathartic in and of itself) then I read all the tweets, and emails ... and holy fuckerdy, you all make my life. The support that I have in this community is INCREDIBLE, and to say I am grateful for every second of it is an understatement - I fucking live for it.

So yeah, yesterday sucked. But today is a new day. I am considering moving on from OKC, and exploring other options. We shall see. I'm never ever ever going to give up on finding love. I can't! It's tattooed on my friggen wrist.

I made a lifetime commitment to it.

I love what I do for work, so that part of my life has a big fat checkmark next to it. The rest, I'll figure out. You can't force it, but I know ... I KNOW in my heart, I'll never give up ... I just also won't stop documenting the ride! =) =) =)

Here I go again ...

xoxoxo thanks for reaching out, man. Really appreciate it.

#nerdsunite

They're Talking Nerdy Baby: #NerdsUnite

HAHAHA!!! Omg omg omg omg omg omg you guys ... I just got SUCH a rad email. Looky looky:

Okey dokey. So open up your Microsoft Excel, and enter this in:

=IF(F8="","ta"&(IF(LEN(D6)=0,"lk ne"&IFERROR(VLOOKUP(H6,A18:L18,2,FALSE),"rdy t")&"o "&RIGHT(IF(COUNTBLANK(D11:H15)=25,"Dan is Awesome",""),2),"")))

::twiddles thumbs::

doop dee doo ... lah dee dah ... do it yet? (thats what she said)

OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMFG!! I know right!! hahahahahaha didn't expect that!

So sweet, thanks Dan!!

xoxo #nerdsunite

They're Talking Nerdy Baby: #NerdsUnite

AHHHHHH thank you guys for all the love regarding the series of posts on my first love. Greatly greatly greatly appreciated. I love this one from my buddy Ashley ...

It's interesting - I do consider myself an open person ... obviously I lead a transparent life, but I no longer wear my heart on my sleeve. Like at all. I did for years, which is why I have all of these CRAZY relationship/dating stories ... but I recognized that it didn't work for me. Life is reflective, until I learned to love myself, and I mean LOOOOOVVVEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE myself - I could never truly be in a healthy relationship with a guy. You have to understand your own value before you can ever try to let someone come in and purchase any of your time. I had a very confusing childhood (as evident from this post), so yeah, that made me more susceptible for seeking outside validation for my self worth - but so what! That was my constant in the past ... it's no longer my present nor my future. I'm in control of my destiny, and doing something about it.

I'm writing these posts out because 1. I very genuinely did email my first love yesterday, and even got a response back from him today. And 2. because I have changed so so so much as a person, and I hope that this evolution is a continued process. Look at how I met this guy - I commented on how hot he was at Super Cuts. HAHAHA I can't look at a dude and think he's hot anymore, commercial attraction does NOTHING for me!!! I want a guy that is LIVVINNNGGG and BRREEAATHHIIINNNGGG his passion!!!! THAT is a turn on for me! THAT revs my engine!! Not a cute butt at Super Cuts.

Romeo has been in my heart for 7 years. He was the first to get it, but he won't be the last. I post this to also not come across so cold when I quote statistics on love, and say that I approach relationships like a business transaction. I have a very. very. very. different approach to life and love through the documentation of it all by running this site. I can't help but be this way, the psychoanalysis of the entire thing was too intense.

I will one day fall in love again, and that day will be ah-mazing and celebrated. But until then, I have to focus internally on what I want from life, and what I love about myself. Until I truly ... and I mean TTRRUUULLLYYYY love and accept myself, I will continue to seek guys that provide that value for me, which as the past has dictated, will lead me to heartbreak.

OTHER. PEOPLE. CANNOT. VALIDATE. YOU.

Period end of sentence.

I am owning my life now, and I am owning my awesome. It is organic, and something that I didn't recognize inside of me for the first 24 years of my life - however, I am still a work in progress. I have no idea what I am doing, I am just documenting it all to figure out my state of consciousness and then attempting to figure out how to break that down without any emotion attached to it in the hopes of bettering myself as a person (whatever that truly means).

I only say what I do to you guys because this is something that I too am currently experiencing and HOLLLYYY CRAAPPPSICCLLESSS it is BAT SHIT!!! And the more and more you believe, and the more and more positivity you manifest, and give back, the more you get!

Unreal.

Life is, and will always be what you make of it, so why not go big or go home!!

Whoop whoop! JIGGAAAAAAAA!!!

Love you long time Ashley! Thanks for reaching out!!!

xoxoxxoxoxoxxoxoxxoxo

Speaking of validation though ... have you guys seen this vid? AMAZING!!

#nerdsunite

They're Talking Nerdy Baby: #NerdsUnite

Wow. Wow. Wow. I just got this email that sincerely spoke to my soul. No, like for really real real. So, I had an epic weekend with the International Badass - but something I didn't expect to happen, happened; he broke me down. Like down down down. Very few people have ever done that to me, and I'm sort of feeling a bit out there and blah.

Yes, it was amazing because I needed it, but hard because now I'm navigating in a state of vulnerability, something I am not familiar with. I feel like shit, man. Anyway, read this email ... I can't remember the last time I've read something so true and well written.

#speechless ... I can only say thank you.