They're Talking Nerdy Baby: #NerdsUnite

AHHHH! So much love ... so much loooovveeeeeee I can't stand it I just want to eat you all up. RAWWRR!!! Ok, simmer donna ... not to be confused with Donna Summa ...

She's so fabulous. Dude, in the smallest world ever category - I had acting classes with her daughter Brooklyn when I was in NY. (The classes were in Manhattan not Brooklyn, although that would be kinda funny. Kinda, but not really.) Really really really sweet girl, and like jaw droppingly stunning. Like so much so, she should be shot and dissected for scientific purposes. Did I just say that outloud? Shut up Jen ...

SO, even though my experiment on OKC is over, I've still kept the account up for shits and giggles. I'm not mad at it, it's just kinda useful for email now haha - either way ... I've gotten some pretty cool responses on my thesis on 103 dates in 9 months this week that I wanted to share with you all ... annnnnd SCENE!

RAAADD!!! Thanks man!!!

totes mcgotes!!!

AHHHH!!! Bless. Your. Heart! Thanks so so much duderino!

So much love, man. You guys make my life - straight up, down, left, and right!

You can read more about my thesis about going out on 103 dates in 9 months over yonder - ANNNNDD I'm conducting a new social experiment going to bars instead of doing the whole online thang. Read more about THAT here!

::nerdy happy dance::

Thanks so much guys!!

#NERDSUNITE

They're Talking Nerdy Baby: #NerdsUnite

HAHAHA omg omg omg way to make my life ... looky looky the email I just got ...

First off, what is the appeal?

I have no idea.

No, like very literally ... because if I did I would figure out the formula and market the SHIT out of it to other people. I can't stop being the marketer that I am ... it just is a part of the air that I breathe, and a part of my blood - in fact, I get it from my mama.

(She runs her own niche business based as a writer in insurance communications - basically, if you've ever read anything in a pamphlet from Mass Mutual, Capital One, Cigna ... or whatevs, there is a 99% chance my mom wrote it.)

I just utterly enjoy every. single. fucking. minute. of what I do. I don't accept payment from anyone - I've circumvented the system by saying you can't hire me, I will only tweet and post about shit that doesn't suck; it freaks people out. EVEERRRYONNNEEE wants in on social media - I've worked in sales the majority of my life, I know how to work the system ...and honestly, it still doesn't interest me, I don't do it. Dude, I slept in a car - I very literally, just don't caarreeeeee; I work for who I want to work for, for however I want to work for them.

And the best part is, the "thing" that I do - changes. Right now, I am conducting a social experiment based on the organic root of attraction, while simultaneously planning the Unapologetically Awesome Summer 2011 Tour (which is based on my organic need to travel ... dude, I'm SUPPPERRR nomadic).

So yeah, what is the appeal? I very literally have no fucking idea. But, it's working - and I'm going to own it. I appreciate the honesty, and I just put myself out there. Tonight, I was absolutely petrified of going out and meeting dudes at a bar - but I did it, and there will be a post on said experiment once I sober up.

The fact that you've checked in on us for about as long as we've been around in general means I am doing something right .... whatever that "right" is - so thank you.

I structured this website around my personality. The fact that you have ANY idea of who we are, and what I do means I have done something "right." From the DEPTHS of my soul ... I thank you, and am equally a conspiracy theorist, haha! Dude, my brother works at the Pentagon, and I STILL believe in Loose Change!!!! Own it ... and yeah! Greatly greatly greatly appreciate the read, and I am fairly convinced the majority of the population expects me to end up in a gutter somewhere. I assure you, I equally expect me to end up dead somewhere, but I very very very literally do not care (I could get hit by a bus in this very minute, and feel sad for my parentals - but happy that I finally found my purpose in life. I LOOOVVEEE social media!!!)- I know how to fire a gun, I know how to knock a dude 6'4 and shorter out, and although I have never stabbed someone, I know how to throw down. Dude, I am a scrappy, scrappy bitch ... if I'm going to die, I am going to go down with a fucking fight. 

I believe incredibly strongly in everything that I do, and wish you the same. If there is anything that I can do to help, please reach out; I perpetually operate from a place of nothing to lose.

Am I still talking? Shut up, Jen

#kthxbye

Update on Friday, May 6, 2011 at 1:32AM by Talk Nerdy To Me Lover

PS. This was shot very literally after I got the worst news of my life ... no, like literally. I can't stop what I do - all I know how to do is hit record. Even prior to the site, I have literally 10 years worth of journals - I just do what I do to get it all out of my head. 

#NerdsUnite: Ask That Nerdy Chick ...

I get asked a lot of absurdly random things by you wunnerful wunnerful people everyday - so I wanted to just start posting some of them to see if anyone else can relate, or help out with info if I can't answer ... etc.

I don't really know where I'm going with this, but I have a feeling you guys will throw some cool shit my way. HAHA!!! Here's one I just got on OkCupid ...

I actually found your OKC profile because a google search lead me to talknerdytomelover.com, so am I doing it wrong? :P

103 dates in 9 months, with only 4 that had any potential. That's fucking awesome! That's what real sociologists do: field work. You put in the time. I can't wait to read your master's thesis about the "root of attraction." I'm being 100% serious.

Are you going to follow up with those four now that the nine months are over?

I'm still reading through your tons and tons of material on your site. It's pretty incredible that the whole thing was a response to getting your heart broken. What kind of man could have that power over you? It's awesome that you were able to turn that pain into something positive.

JK Rowling's ex husband must be kicking himself.

Anyway, you seem super interesting, and I'd like to hang out, and perhaps keep in touch on twitter and facebook, but I don't think I'm interested in dating you, so I'm not really going to put the kind of stuff that I usually put in these messages. I'm just going to keep grilling you about your experiment because it fascinates me :P.

So how much traffic do you get to your site? It looks like it has its own faithful and active community. That's really good. I'm trying to figure out how you are monetizing it. I spend a lot of time thinking about shit that's boring to most people like "business models."

Is maintaining the site your full time job now? Sorry if this is already answered somewhere on your site. This is the first I'm seeing it :P. You have so much content!

You know what your site sort of reminds me of (in a very distant way)? Another strong personal brand: Gary Vaynerchuk. A lot of people think he's kind of an obnoxious jerk, but I think it's just Gary bein Gary. He has very few filters. It looks like you have zero filters :D.

You know, you've inspired me. I'm going to subscribe to your site, read through the massive archives. I'm going to start posting some blogs under my own name, build my own brand.

Oh, and since you're an expert at OKC, please feel free to give me harsh criticisms of my profile. I'm a big boy, I can take it. And I'm actually super curious about your opinion.

Keep being awesome!

K

Wow. so many questions - first off thanks so much for reaching out. really genuinely appreciate it. the fact that you found us via google means I'm doing some rad SEO ::evil laugh mwahahahaha:: Dude, Google and Squarespace do not get along. Blows major chunks - but whatever. Free hosting, I'm not mad at it.

Am I going to follow up with the 4 now that the 9 months is over? No unfortunately. They're all said and done. Honestly had I felt that any of them were going to work out then I would have stopped the experiment. There was no set time frame for this - it just became so popular organically that I just sort of kept up with it unintentionally and then one day sat through and counted and realized I was close to 100. HAHA! So so so nuts.

Thank you, yeah this site got started because of a broken heart. Crazy, but I never wanted to fully admit that to anyone. I'm not much of a chick in the chick department, I don't really do the whole oh woe is me - men blow. But this guy did. HAHA!!! I even said outright that I never wanted to post on it, and when I did - I found hundreds of people that wrote to me being able to relate, and share their stories of heartbreak. Literally blew me away. Took a lot out of me to write, and I need to recognize that I am still healing, but what a rad way to go about it. Really made my life. (Read more about the mentalist and how we got started here) What kind of man can have that power over you? I dunno! Love makes you do some crazy things, but it certainly took two to tango - so I played my part just as much as he did.

I'm super super super proud of our nerdy little community, and all of the people that read us. I used to actually send out thank you notes every night to each "liker" on Facebook. That was until Facebook limited the amount of messages you can send in a single day. When I started the site, I didn't necessarily want to just strictly focus on traffic - I was more interested in engagement, and really building a strong foundation. Anyone can get traffic with a super creative SEO, but not anyone can build a following - that takes heart and passion, which I hope shows through.

I don't monetize the site in the traditional sense with ads. I was more interested in being a brand evangelist, and going the route of finding sponsors for my social experiments and for me personally as a lifecaster. It's a new age in advertising - it's a trust economy. People are still going to buy, but they don't want to be sold to. I had to find products that I very genuinely genuinely liked, and start from there. I don't just take on sponsors to take them on ... it's super lame, dilutes the brand, and I didn't do all of this to have it one day be watered down to a piece of crapola. Not my style. The only ads on the site are from people that have sponsored me personally, or sponsored housing, food, or clothing for my journey over the last year. And yes, this is my full time job, my full time EVVERRRYYTHIIINNGGG. Wakes me up in the morning, and tucks me in at night - still can't believe it's my life, but from the depths of my soul - I am grateful.

I love Gary V! Got to meet him at Tahoe Tech this year- haha yes we have similar energy. I am very much a no bullshit, go and get 'em kinda chica. I think Gary is just following his passion, and I am doing the same. That's all that it boils down to. But thank you ... that is an incredible compliment. 

Sure I'll definitely take a look at your profile, albeit offline - haha as I am posting this response on my site. Don't want to call you out in front of the world. Not my thing. But yeah, I plan on over the next couple of weeks writing a thesis on my findings, and on online dating in general, especially since tomorrow I'll be announcing a new social experiment. Timing was perfect, and totally unintentional.

But seriously man, thanks for reading and thanks for reaching out. Really appreciate it. Just doin what I love to do, I hope you find the same as well. LMK if there's ever anything I can do to help.

Keep on keepin on!

#nerdsunite

Got something to ask?

Here's my twitter: @JenFriel

Facebook my butt: www.Facebook.com/jenfriel

Or get old school and email me: JenFriel@TalkNerdyToMeLover.com

Senders identity will be kept anonymous.

THANKS!

RT: #OpenLetter: Dear grandma and grandpa, dudes - you guys totally sucked

WOOAHH!! Thank you guys so much for the comments, tweets, and emails regarding #openletter: Dear grandma and grandpa, dudes you guys totally sucked.

Totally made my life this morning responding to 'em, so thanks a heap!!!! Dudes, both of my parents who LIVED it were captivated. Amazing. Amazing. Amazing. and the GREATEST compliment you can give a storyteller.

Wanted to just go over a couple of questions and stuff that I got that I didn't really answer in the post ... 

My grandmother is in fact still alive, but now has dementia. She and I very literally had no relationship, at all, ever. I'm not at the point of being apathetic towards her, since clearly after writing that post I recognized that I still have anger and confusion, but I am at peace in realizing that there is nothing that can be done in this life about that. I literally have to let it go - her mind is gone. So even if she were to accept the 26 year old version of me, there would be no correlation to the person that would stand before her to the 6 year old she hurt. I just have to let go let god.

She is though quite ill. Last time I heard she was in hospice. So if my father goes to her funeral, I will go to support my dad. To be honest though, he wants nothing to do with her too. Really really really sad to think that this woman gave birth to him, and there's nothing. I don't know how my dad deals with it to be honest with you. My parents and I have had our differences since starting this site ... clearly ... but I knew in my heart if I held them in a place of unconditional love, they would come around once they saw the success that I knew I could create from the happiness I was feeling. Your parents will ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS want the best for you, but show me the parents that say, hey daughter - good job on living in your car and not having money for a year. We totally think you're bitchin' hahaha, and I will show you two parents that need to lay off the crack.

But like I said, very literally my grandma and I have nothing - at all - ever. Neither here nor there. Just releasing.

Oh, and one more thing ... my dads sister is a dentist ... and I do remember at my grandfather's wake she came up to me and said that if I wanted to pursue a career in entertainment that I would need to have my teeth whitened. No dudes, like literally - this is at my GRANDFATHER'S WAKE!!!! Funny now since literally people ask me all the time about my teeth, and their whiteness. I very literally do not bleach them ... at all ... ever. I have sensitive teeth. So yeah, apparently I grew out of that dear old wicked bitch. See this is me ...

... and I am doing one thing ...

#WINNING

#NerdsUnite: They're STILL Talking Nerdy Baby

Duddessss!! I am STILL getting emails on my series of posts, This is a story about love, but its not a #love story. Amazing. Amazing. Amazing. You guys make my life. Really liked this one ... 

Case One:

I was working for a construction company back when I was 19 or 20. We had a cute little thing working the reception desk that seemed pretty sweet. She had big brown eyes, long dark hair, and quite a nice body. She and I would flirt some when I had to go to see the boss about something and soon I was volunteered to be the spokesperson for the workers. This was fine with me as I never had any trouble talking to the head guy and most of the issues that came up were minor. Besides, I had to sit in his reception area while waiting to talk to him.

One afternoon, much to my surprise, she asked me what I was doing on Friday night. She invited me to a birthday party at her place. My heart jumped and my blood raced. Instantly, I envisioned …. well that is for another site. Lets just say I was looking forward to it. Slightly nervous, I arrived at her house. It was a modest but clean neighborhood with basketball goals, speed bumps, and “Slow Children Playing” (that’s mean to the mentally challenged youngins) signs. When she answered the door there was a beautiful, yet unexpected, little girl with her features attached to her hip. A little shocked but still in good sprits I am introduced to the birthday girl…then to her brother….and her other brother. It was at this point that I realized the breath of my lack of knowledge about her. I pride myself on being at least a little sympathetic to other people. So, despite my inclination to fox frenzy, I stayed and had a pretty good time playing with the kids, eating cake, and then helping her clean up the mess made by 15 or so sugar-crazed children.

After the kids went home with their respective parents and her kids went with their grandparents, she and I were left alone. She told me that she was happy that I stayed. That most guys that came over left after finding out that she was not only a mother but a mother times three. I suggested that she should have told me about her situation before: that springing it on me like that was a little unfair. Then I asked her where the father was with the declaimer that she didn’t owe me any explanations if she didn’t want to explain. She said that I didn’t have to worry about him and to put him out of my mind. Going on from there she told me that he would not be dropping by for a long time: you see he is in prison.

Besides, she added nonchalantly, I filed for divorce today.

So ends a promising relationship……

Case Two:

A friend of mine was a bartender at a local “Gentlemen’s Club”. At this point in Lexington (Kentucky), these clubs were topless and for the most part pretty clean: well most of them were pretty clean. I started meeting him out at the club just before they closed to pick him up. He would drink a little afterward and we would get some food at Tally Ho, Perkins, or some other all night diner. Sometimes a dancer or two would join us. The food and time would allow her to sober up before taking her car home. I became friends with a lot of people in the trade.

Megan (not her real or stage name) was one of these girls. She is very pretty; with long flowing black hair, dark brown eyes, and wonderful long legs. For several weeks, she and some others would go out to eat with Michael and me. We would all sit around and talk movies, music, and generally waste time. A couple of the other dancers told me that she was asking about me around the club.

This is a good time to mention that I don’t drink alcohol. It is not because of any real ethical issue or high moral stand; I just don’t see any reason to drink. I have a great time with my friends w/out having to resort to the “better living through chemicals” mantra.

Anyway, one night she is really trashed. She cannot even stand up and spends a couple of hours in the back passed out. One of her very close friends comes over and asks if I would take her home. I clarified…to her home, not mine. I agreed and piled her into the Jeep and made sure that her seatbelt was on tight ’cause I had the top down. We made it to her place with her talking through the Yagermister shots about how much she appreciated the ride home and how great of a guy I am and how much she likes me. So, I am doing the “Snoopy Dance” in my head and lamenting that she never came on to me when she is sober. Oh, well, there would be plenty of time for that after she sleeps this off.

I barley get her in the door and she passes out. Dropping her onto her bed I kick some shoes from under the comforter the drapes to the floor. I move them with my feet and put her gently into bed. I loosen her clothes and make sure she is face down looking at the towel and the garbage can next to the bed. It wasn’t until then that I notice that the shoes I almost tripped over were wingtips. Curious, I open the closet door to find several men’s suits and ties.

A little disconcerted, I go to the bathroom to wash off my face and cool off the emotional shock. When I look up from the sink, I see through the open medicine cabinet door a small razor blade on a mirror next to a little box.

The next night, I got a call from her asking me to meet her at a restaurant as she wanted to thank me for my help. At dinner I ask her about the clothes. “Oh, those belong to my husband.” she said as if she were reporting the weather in Spokane, “the coke is mine, though”.

So ends a promising relationship……

Click here to read more from Chad

#nerdsunite