#ThingsThatMakeMe ... FEEL REJECTED
Sunday, November 21, 2010 at 4:33PM#TalkNerdyToMeLover's @JenSquard
We talked, he was nice to me, and everything seemed fine. He got to meet my daughter (she was 1), and I felt like a pretty generous person by giving him another chance. I decided at the time that if he wanted some sort of a relationship, I would be open to it.
I talked to him again a couple weeks after the funeral. He called to tell me to call my grandpa. Not for any particular reason, just to remind me to call him. Cause I'm not a grown up, and need to be reminded to be a good person, apparently. I told him that I was pregnant, again, and he said congratulations. And then I never heard from him again.
Well, not really. He sent a present for my son on my daughters birthday. 4 months after he was born. And last Christmas he sent a savings bond for both of my kids. He has yet to acknowledge that I have three kids now.
You know what? Whatever. I haven't had a good dad ever, so it's not like this is new stuff. But I have kids now, why would anyone not want to know their AWESOME grandkids? Here's what gets to me - he has a relationship with my sister. He bought her son a high chair not too long ago. He calls her up to let her know that my grandpa is going to be in town, and takes her out to lunch. And the kicker - he frickin called and invited her to Thanksgiving. Let's not forget that my sister got tired of the abuse and left his house when she was 17.
So what the fuck? What did I do to deserve that bul
lshit? It's easy to say that I don't care, but guess what? I do. He's my dad. The only one I've ever had. And for him to live in the same town as me and just not want to be around me ever? Eff off, doucher. I honestly think it's because he can't handle the fact that I am a successful, accomplished adult. Really, if he can't be telling me what to do, he just doesn't know how to have a relationship with me. It's so frustrating, and sooooo hard to stay confident when your own father choses not to love you.
I know all I can do is be a good mom to my kids. I can cherish the relationships I do have. But damn, Daddy issues fuck with the brain, and they last forevvvveeeerrrr. Forever. I'm not sure I will ever be fully healed. I forget and move on a bit, but then I hear that he invites one of his daughters to Thanksgiving. Busted wide open. Damn it.
Reader Comments (5)
Same here. Too bad I had a chance to move out but now I'm waiting for another chance that's not gonna come any time soon, I'm broke as hell. :(
Dang it! Luckily my chance came when I was in high school, I moved on in with my mom. Good luck, buddy!
You know, to many people I seem weird because I want my parents divorced (not to mention my mom wants it too) - the problem is, as always, money. I told her that we would find a way but the problem is my dad would never be up to spliting stuff so where would we go etc is kind of a big problem. It's all so complicated I'm just waiting for a chance to leave...
It sucks when you actually already leave but you gotta come back. :(
That's a bummer, Ula. There's not way to legally make him split stuff up? I don't know how the divorce system works there...lamesauce, though. I'm sure you girls will get it figured out!
There is such thing as forced divorce or sth along those lines but the split is still up for discussion between the divorcees. So even if my mom gets the divorce she still needs to talk to my dad about the stuff... and since they share the finances it will be hard to decide what's who's.
I just hope one day sb will tell me I'm adopted. o_O I'm weird enough, too smart and totally different than my family so I'm keeping my fingers crossed.
But hey, life's a bitch so better make it YOUR bitch. I'm working on that one. :)