#NerdsUnite: Inside the marketing mind of @MyMelodie (Yep, I’m a Craigslist Missed Connection)

<editorsnote> Nerds, meet my buddy Melodie. I met her when she invited me to come and crash on her couch for the night in the San Dizzle and she is for reals one of the nicest chicas ever. She's a fellow marketer and wanted to use this space to share her thoughts on life, love, and all things nerd. Hit it Melodie! </editorsnote>

#TalkNerdyToMeLover's @MyMelodie

When I think of Craigslist, I think of a place where I sell furniture and buy discounted tickets. But we all know there are so many other things you can accomplish on Craigslist. In fact, here are 10 things to do on Craigslist. Aside from that, I'd like to preface that I  attract so many unique situations into my life and Craigslist attracts so many unique situations on to their site. This connection is the only reason I can think of as to how I ended up on Craigslist's "Missed Connections" section but even more intriguing to me is that I actually found the ad about me. Although this happened years ago, it's still one of my favorite stories to tell about all my social media and internet adventures.

In 2007 I was snowboarding in Big Bear one weekend with some friends. We were on the shuttle bus taking us to the resort and conversing with other bus riders about how cold it was that weekend. We were staying in a cabin but our pipes were frozen which meant no hot showers in the freezing cold weather (remember I'm from San Diego so anything below 60 is freezing to me). At that time I was working in radio so I was also talking about my job to people on the shuttle. I love meeting new people and have no problem striking up a conversation with almost anyone. When we arrived at our destination, I said goodbye to my fellow shuttle riders and we all went our separate ways to enjoy a fun weekend snowboarding.

The following week when I was back in San Diego I was listening to the radio and they were talking about funny ads on Craigslist's "Missed Connections". I've used Craigslist for many things but I've never been on the "Missed Connections" section so I decided to check after hearing the radio bit. I log on and almost immediately an ad jumps out at me. I had to take a double look and sure enough there was an ad about me on the "Missed Connections" section. I actually freaked out a little thinking, did this really happen?! The first time I check this section of Craigslist there is an ad about me?! WOW! It just makes me wonder how many times I didn't check the site when there may have been an ad about me. Here is the actual ad:

"Ok so I thougth you were cute and I said something stupid, and I do agree with that your friend said... hell I creeped myself out too afterwards. Anyways you had a snow board, said you worked for 93.3 as a promotions person, I offered my place so you could take a shower because your place has frozen pipes. So maybe lets hang out if anything."

Now you're probably wondering if I ever contacted the guy who wrote this ad? I decided not to contact him since I didn't remember who he was. So even though I don't have a crazy follow up story about how I met a guy on Craiglist's "Missed Connections"  I still think this is a top moment in my internet adventures. Has anyone else ever used Craigslist's "Missed Connections"? I would be interested in talking to someone who actually met up with their missed connection! Well, here’s to having a blast through social media and internet adventures!

#NerdsUnite

Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/mymelodie
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MarketingMelodie
Blog: http://www.marketingmelodie.com

#EpicFind: Deep ... Deep ... Inside Craigslist

OOOHHH Craigslist. You are totes the caramel syrup in my Dunkin Donut coffee dreams. MMMMM DUNKIN DONUTS!!!!!!!!!!

Either way, just found this blessed little gem and had to share ...

It says ... AND I QUOTE:

Yoga mat for sale. Used once at lunch hour class in December 2009. Usage timeline as follows:

11:45a
Register for hot yoga class. Infinite wisdom tells me to commit to 5 class package and purchase a yoga mat. I pay $89.74. Money well spent, I smugly confirm to myself.

11:55a
Open door to yoga room. A gush of hot dry air rushes through and past me. It smells of breath, sweat and hot. Take spot on floor in back of room next to cute blonde. We will date.

11:57a
I feel the need to be as near to naked as possible. This is a problem because of the hot blonde to my left and our pending courtship. She will not be pleased to learn that I need to lose 30 pounds before I propose to her.

11:58a
The shirt and sweats have to come off. I throw caution to the wind and decide to rely on my wit and conditioning to overcome any weight issues my fiancée may take issue with. This will take a lot of wit and conditioning.

11:59a
Begin small talk with my bride to be. She pretends to ignore me but I know how she can be. I allow her to concentrate and stare straight ahead and continue to pretend that I don't exist. As we finish sharing our special moment, I am suddenly aware of a sweat moustache that has formed below my nose. This must be from the all the whispering between us.

12:00p
Instructor enters the room and ascends her special podium at the front of the room. She is a slight, agitated Chinese woman. She introduces me to the class and everyone turns around to greet me just as I decide to aggressively adjust my penis and testes packed in my Under Armor. My bride is notably unfazed.

12:02p
Since I do have experience with Hot Yoga (4 sessions just 5 short years ago) I fully consider that I may be so outstanding and skilled that my instructor may call me out and ask me to guide the class. My wife will look on with a sparkle in her eye. We will make love after class.

12:10p
It is now up to 95 degrees in the room. We have been practicing deep breathing exercises for the last 8 minutes. This would not be a problem if we were all breathing actual, you know, oxygen. Instead, we are breathing each other's body odor, expelled carbon dioxide and other unmentionables. (Don't worry, I'll mention them later.)

12:26p
It is now 100 degrees and I take notice of the humidity, which is hovering at about 90%. I feel the familiar adorning stare of my bride and decide to look back at her. She appears to be nauseated. I then realize that I forgot to brush my teeth prior to attending this class. We bond.

12:33p
It is now 110 degrees and 95% humidity. I am now balancing on one leg with the other leg crossed over the other. My arms are intertwined and I am squatting. The last time I was in this position was 44 years ago in the womb, but I'm in this for the long haul. My wife looks slightly weathered dripping sweat and her eyeliner is streaming down her face. Well, "for better or worse" is what we committed to so we press on.

12:40p
The overweight Hispanic man two spots over has sweat running down his legs. At least I think its sweat. He is holding every position and has not had a sip of water since we walked in. He is making me look bad and I hate him.

12:44p
I consider that if anyone in this room farted that we would all certainly perish.

12:52p
It is now 140 degrees and 100% humidity. I am covered from head to toe in sweat. There is not a square millimeter on my body that is not slippery and sweaty. I am so slimy that I feel like a sea lion or a maybe sea eel. Not even a bear trap could hold me. The sweat is stinging my eyeballs and I can no longer see.

12:55p
This room stinks of asparagus, cloves, tuna and tacos. There is no food in the room. I realize that this is an amalgamation of the body odors of 30 people in a 140 degree room for the last 55 minutes. Seriously, enough with the asparagus, ok?

1:01p
140 degrees and 130% humidity. Look, bitch, I need my space here so don't get all pissy with me if I accidentally sprayed you with sweat as I flipped over. Seriously, is that where this relationship is going? Get over yourself. We need counseling and she needs to be medicated. Stat!

1:09p
150 degrees and cloudy. And hot. I can no longer move my limbs on my own. I have given up on attempting any of the commands this Chinese chick is yelling out at us. I will lay sedentary until the aid unit arrives. I will buy this building and then have it destroyed.
I lose consciousness.

1:15p
I have a headache and my wife is being a selfish bitch. I can't really breathe. All I can think about is holding a cup worth of hot sand in my mouth. I cannot remember what an ice cube is and cannot remember what snow looks like. I consider that my only escape might be a crab walk across 15 bodies and then out of the room. I am paralyzed, and may never walk again so the whole crab walk thing is pretty much out.

1:17p
I cannot move at all and cannot reach my water. Is breathing voluntary or involuntary? If it's voluntary, I am screwed. I stopped participating in the class 20 minutes ago. Hey, lady! I paid for this frickin class, ok?! You work for me! Stop yelling at everyone and just tell us a story or something. It's like juice and cracker time, ok?

1:20p
It is now 165 degrees and moisture is dripping from the ceiling. The towel that I am laying on is no longer providing any wicking or drying properties. It is actually placing additional sweat on me as I touch it. My towel reeks. I cannot identify the smell but no way can it be from me. Did someone spray some stank on my towel or something?

1:30p
Torture session is over. I wish hateful things upon the instructor. She graciously allows us to stay and 'cool down' in the room. It is 175 degrees. Who cools down in 175 degrees? A Komodo Dragon? My wife has left the room. Probably to throw up.

1:34p
My opportunity to escape has arrived. I roll over to my stomach and press up to my knees. It is warmer as I rise up from ground level - probably by 15 degrees. So let's conservatively say it's 190. I muster my final energy and slowly rise. One foot in front of the other. One foot in front of the other. Towards the door. Towards the door.

1:37p
The temperature in the lobby is 72 degrees. Both nipples stiffen to diamond strength and my penis begins to retract into my abdomen from the 100 degree temp swing. I can once again breathe though so I am pleased. I spot my future ex wife in the lobby. We had such a good thing going but I know that no measure of counseling will be able to unravel the day's turmoil and mental scaring.

1:47p
Arrive at Emerald City Smoothie and proceed to order a 32 oz beverage. 402 calories, 0 fat and 14 grams of protein -- effectively negating any caloric burn or benefit from the last 90 minutes. I finish it in 3 minutes and spend the next 2 hours writing this memoir.

3:47p
Create Craigslist ad while burning final 2 grams of protein from Smoothie and before the "shakes" consume my body.

4:29p
Note to self - check car for missing wet yoga towel in am.

#epic

#EpicFind: Deep ... Deep ... Inside Craigslist

OOOHH craigslist, you are totes poached pumpernickel on my poppy seed bagel. MMMM BAGEL!!!!!!!!

Looky looky what I just found on Craigslist ...

It says ... AND I QUOTE:

Need help with a duck

---

I am looking for someone who can relocate a duck - thats the short story

I have a pool and every year a mallard and a hen show up and occupy my pool until I open it. This may sound dumb..... but I am serious. I have always had an assortment of methods to chase them away - and easily, bottle rockets etc.. radio, teenagers. Eventually they end up somewhere else - just not my pool. This year the hen showed up without the mallard. She won't leave and I'm pretty sure its the same one that has been here every year.

She won't leave, and I'm too nice to just go and be mean.

Well, I feel completely stupid, if someone knows how to extract a duck, well, I'm all ears.

Oh and YES I do get laughed at, at the office.....

Is there an online dating service for ducks?

Hey I've heard them all.

Lemme know....

Thanks for looking.. and stop laughing - I am serious :)

**************** UPDATE ******************

Thank you Craigslist people who have sent me a link to

plentyofduck

I probably misrepresented the hen as well... in heat or something..... (SORRY HEN)

Well, of course it took about 2 minutes to find a greenhead and they are a happy couple.. See Pic #2

Now.. I'm changing gears...

I'm having a fundraiser so that they can get a room... and do what they are doing now..... not in my pool...........

If you STILL want to relocate the ducks, they need a honeymoon suite..... somewhere else...

Glad someone (something) is making the best of this warm evening

THIS IS NOT A JOKE !!!!!!!!!


************* LAST UPDATE ******************

WOW ...... this went way out of hand...

NO I WILL NOT MAKE A PORN DUCK SITE!!!!!!!!!!! You Craigslist >>>&^&&^%&% ... people scare me.... read a book or something

#epic

#EpicFind: Deep ... Deep ... Inside Craigslist

OOOOHHHH Craigslist!!! Sweet sweet Craigslist!!! You are the feathers on the peacock of life. Seriously ... were you born this way? Or was this a learned thing? UGHHHH!!!! Looky looky what I just found on Craigslist ...

It says ... AND I QUOTE:

Manhood Camping

Manhood Camping Firequest. Lookin' for a 100% for real bros to share/experience manhood in all its glory. This is for real, I don't want to waste my time or yours. 100% JO and manhood, no sugar added. I AM NOT GAY. Don't even think this is a sex thing, it's all about manhood.

Looking for bros to head into the woods and bond by fire, experience life as men once lived it, JO circle, and fire/vision quests.

THIS IS NOT A SEX THING.

Gonna need some basic things/skills, I don't want to be slowed down by fools:

- must be in reasonable shape, if you get winded walking then stay home
- Ed Hardy camping gear, it's really good gear and it's awesome
- desire to be a man among men
- not afraid to wield a blade
- crystal, I'm not sharing mine
- must be able to make a fire
- gloves
- a knowledge of native vegetation (knowledge of psychotropic fungus a plus)
- knowledge of modern music
- protective/splash resistant eye wear
- 5 - 10 of those clip things that rock climbers use


We are gonna need a mobile music device, ipod or something. I'm bringing the music for the firequests and visionquests, Nickleback's The Long Road. I only have it on CD, so I'll have my discman as a last resort, an ipod would be nicer. Just sayin'.


Dont' want to see"

- bad attitudes
- gay/homoerotic behavior, this is a manhood thing. I AM NOT GAY.
- cock rings, can't keep it up w/o help, you aren't gonna make it on this quest
- firearms, there's gonna be enough guns going off and spent shells to pick up
- the nerds/dorks/lames/and anyone less than 100% into manhood.

If you are serious, then I promise you this will be the trip of your life. It will change the way you think. I'm serious, and I AM NOT GAY. To see a group of bros being men, a JO circle by a camp fire. The charge/energy in the air. Crystals get jacked, no lie. You will slip into a different frame of mind, you will feel electric.

Last outing, we had a group that was so charged we attracted bears. It was no deal, nature knew man was in the forest, the crystals gave us the confidence to own those bears. I saw it, I was there.

100% SERIOUS, NO FAKERS 

#epic

#EpicFind: Deep ... Deep ... Inside Craigslist

OOOOHHHH Craigslist. After finding me an apartment, a bed, and potentially even a mate *waves* hello missed connection 711. I was in fact the brunette batting my eyes ... I knew you were playing coy. RAWWRRRRR!!!

Looky looky what I just found ...

It says ... AND I QUOTE:

every girl that dreams of dating a bearded uptown hipster with a bike

let me just remind you that when you take away the fixed-gear bike, the messenger bag, the scarf that's worn year-round, the ironic t-shirt, the dumb shoes, the pbr, the tattoos, plugs, and the stupid beard, we all look the same.

so, are you really in love with a guy or his accessories? or is it that you're in love with the whimsical idea of an urban lumberjack type who will go on "adventures" with you, meanwhile being perfectly content with doing what every other human being our age does: drinking and fucking?

also, tell me about the last black guy you dated. what's that? you can't? cause every fucking uptown hipster is a white boy from the suburbs.

the uptown wannabes from the suburbs grow up idolizing the current inhabitants. when they're old enough, they move there, grow beards and do the stupid shit that kids do (eg. drink). what's ironic is that this new generation then grows up and becomes the new kids to be idolized by the new uptown wannabes from the suburbs. it's an endless cycle of superficiality, facades, and stupid kids seeking affirmation from their peers.

the truth is, NONE OF YOU ARE COOL!

i wish i could be there, 20 years from now, when you look back at pictures of yourselves from today. it's like explaining zubas in the 90s to someone today.

irony is not timeless.

marry a guy with a yacht.

#epic