<editorsnote> Nerds, meet my buddy Fabio. Yes. Real name. We're friends in the digispace and he owns and blogs at the fantastically awesome site LetsTalkSex.net. He's here today to share one of his latest and greatest tips on sex, and I only have one more thing left to say ... HIT IT FABIO!! </editorsnote>
#TalkNerdyToMeLover's Fabio Black
If you last longer on the toilet than in bed, you CAN do something about it and it's not shortening your poo time.
Let me introduce you to 13 unique tips to last longer.
Some of these techniques are a kind of training, some of them are last minute techniques, others are a mix. Try them all, starting from the one you like best and have fun.
1. Squeeze it up
So you're having sex, you're thrusting away and you start feeling than your warrior is on his way to "spread the word"... When you're just about there (even if it's only after 9 seconds) withdraw your sword from the cave and squeeze the bottom of the head with a couple of fingers. For better results, and to avoid screaming surprises in 9 months time, you'd better use a condom and try with masturbation first until you find the right spot.
2. Take a piss with style
On planet earth everyone pees. Since you have to do it, we' d better make peeing more interesting and useful. Here's the exercise: pee, interrupt the stream for a second, then keep peeing, then stop it again, then keep peeing... Do this a few times. Have fun, give it some rhythm. Think of your favorite song and keep the rhythm with your pee. Stopping between 3 to 10 times would be cool. If someone is next door and can hear you singing and keeping the beat with your pee, tell them you're practicing for your X-factor audition.
3. Get cheeky
Instead of making the head of your warrior too excited by moving it in and out her cave (whatever cave you happen to be analyzing) be cheeky and alternate thrusting with a circular motion, make your key explore all around the key-hole, clockwise and anticlockwise... This way all of it gets stimulated and his head can rest a bit. Side effect: the cave gets larger and larger and ready for your next dildo "play time" experiments.
4. Choose the right positions
Your partner is your ally. Take some days off work, tell your boss that you need to discover your ancestor's hidden gold, and devote yourself to full-time experimentation. Have as much sex as you can and look for the positions that make you last longer. Sometimes letting her flower climb your tree while you lay on your back and she goes for a ride, will make you last longer. But not everyone is the same, so you'd better adopt an adventurous stance and discover what works for you. Buy an Indiana Jones hat if it helps.
5. Stay in control
Watching a James Bond movie isn't enough. You need to change your mindset. Try it sometime, it's pretty cool. You usually have sex (cue soft music) because mother nature gave you this incredible urge to come in order to secure the recreation of your species and keep the flow of nature moving... You are a tool in the hands of nature (end soft music). Tell nature to f**k herself for once and take back control. Today you're gonna have sex and not come. How? Keep your level of excitement low... Withdraw your straw from the coconut if you need to, change positions and use your hand or tongue while your saber is out... Keep your excitement level "in control".
Then if you feel bad for mother nature, let your warrior sow its seed around.
6. Leave your gun in its holster. It's time to use your tongue.
Buy a fireman's outfit, get a notepad and a pen, and write down what makes your partner scream (besides turning the shower cold while she's washing herself) and when you have a list, spend time applying it during intercourse. If she needs you to create some origami, run the New York marathon, touch her nipples with 0.452g pressure in order to come, and for you taking off your underwear is enough, then at least you know what to do.
Get patient, use your hands and tongue on her body as Michelangelo would use his paintbrush on his masterpiece, and put your biscuit in the tea cup just when it's at the right "temperature". In this way, you'll Come Together just like in the Beatles's song.
7. Work Hard
Do you remember when you were a kid and trying to learn how to make your Transformer toy punch Gozilla in the face? You used to make a lot of mistakes, even silly ones, like letting Gozilla fly higher than your Transformer (shake head in disappointment). The same thing applies to boogie-woogie. When you get older you'll become more masterful with your ejaculation, and when you get even older you'll be so good that even if the hottest porn actress on earth starts licking your lollipop you won't come, it won't even "stand up" probably.
So, getting old isn't enough, you need to practice! Have as much sex as possible! The more sex the better.
8. Don't think of a naked pink elephant wearing a white bra and rubbing her ass on a streetlamp
Surprise! When thinking about stopping your ejaculation you are actually going to make it happen sooner! We'll never know why mother nature made our brains that way, but if you want to use the grey stuff in your skull to help you last longer you'd better focus on the pleasure you're feeling in-the-now everywhere else in your body and "forget" about the ejaculation (note: if you have a short memory and tend to forget too much, listen to a friend, use a condom).
9. Yeah! It didn't hurt
Finished early? Did you come as soon as you opened your bedroom door? Or didn't you even make it to the car park?
No worries! There's always round 2 (enter hot, half-naked girl with round 2 sign in her hands). Put on some Rocky Balboa music, and start again! The second time you'll last longer. Even if it's just for being able to take off her underwear, you will have improved a little and this experience will increase your personal best for next time. So remember, if you come too quickly the first time, go for the second one. Don't get depressed, chimpanzees' intercourse lasts 3 seconds, that's what our ancestors were like, we are learning new shit here.
10. Become a Prophet
Take some time for yourself and your favorite hand. Be romantic, take your hand out for dinner, buy her some cream and oil for her skin, tell her how sexy she is... and put her to work! Practice becoming aware of your level of excitement, your clairvoyant skills will improve and you'll be able to see the rise of your ejaculation - just like Nostradamus predicted the rise of Napoleon.. Basically what I mean is: this awareness will put you in control, and give you the choice of withdrawing your plug from her socket when it's time. Rest. Start again.
11. Test it on a (Minnie) Mouse
For once don't be an animal, when some nipples are in front of you, put your natural instinct back in your pocket and use your mouth - to talk. Ask her to collaborate in your laboratory research. That's the first step.
Second step: Buy some geeky glasses for you and a sexy minnie mouse dress for her, and get in a testing laboratory for a week or two of experimentation. Your goal is to discover what positions make you last a good amount of time, neither too much nor too little. For example, by sitting next to each other without touching you' ll last for days - so that's not a good one. Having her on her knees and showing you her beautifully round birthday cake while you rush to plant your candle inside it will make you come faster than Bolt in the 100 meters final.
So, take your time, and experiment with some other positions, you'll probably find that positions like side-by-side, reverse cowgirl or her on top will give you more control as your excitement will grow more slowly.
Be aware of your sensations, have fun and if your geek glasses get steamy, you know what to do...
12. Wait a minute!
This is the best technique. I know it may sound complicated and time consuming but this will really give you the control that you're looking for.
You're drilling her cave with your jackhammer and you feel like you're going to spill some oil soon... STOP, totally stop and wait 60 seconds to allow your hammer to cool down. You don't need to become weird and not blink or not move your hands and stuff like that. Don't take what I say too literally. Just stop stimulation. I know what you're thinking: Hey, and what about her? Take the opportunity to tell her how much you enjoy her flower, how sexy her boobage is and keep touching and caressing her, then after 30 seconds or 1 minute start your road works again...
13. Mind your Mind
Last tip. Go slowly. Pleasure is the goal. Try to change from a mindset of having sex because I-have-to-come-now-otherwise-my-nuts-will-explode! or, even worse, she-has-to-come-now-otherwise-she-will-be-disappointed-and-she'll-leave-me! to a mindset of I-don't-give-a-shit-about-my-ejaculation-or-her-orgasm-all-I-want-is-to-go-slowly-and-to-feel-this-pleasure-for-as-long-as-I-can.
This winning mindset will make all the difference.
Use these 13 tips to kick your sexual stamina in the ass and call me when you have the opposite problem and last so long that she can't handle it anymore... At that stage I'll probably be on a beach somewhere in the Caribbean drinking coconuts and "making friends" with the local beauties...
Fabio Black writes about sex, sex and sex. But not necessarily in that order. Read more about him here.
Question: Do you yawn every time you get an erection? So bored that you see sex like a shift without a lunch break? Would you rather study the biology of a Trochodendron Nastae than take off your clothes and have sex?
TNTML | tagged 
