#NerdsUnite: Past the point of no return (a lesson on sexual timing)

<editorsnote> Nerds, meet my buddy Fabio. Yes. Real name. We're friends in the digispace and he owns and blogs at the fantastically awesome site LetsTalkSex.net. He's here today to share one of his latest and greatest tips on sex, and I only have one more thing left to say ... HIT IT FABIO!! </editorsnote>

#TalkNerdyToMeLover's Fabio Black

First thing you need to understand is that you can get close to the point of no return or point of ejaculatory inevitability simply by thinking. As I told you in my post about perception and lasting longer, some people can actually get so excited and even come without a sexy lady touching them at all.

This is one of the greatest mistakes you can make. You come quickly but think you can afford to start taking control of your ejaculation only when you’re about to have sex.

And then if someone asks you why you come quickly you would say: “Oh, it’s because I feel very excited and as soon as she touches or licks me I feel very close to coming and then… then I try to do everything possible to stop myself… and then I come”.

You feel kind of surprised by the ejaculation, as if it betrays you, or happens without giving you any notice.

But it did not.

The ejaculation did give you notice, it always does, the problem is that you have no ears to listen.
You must start and take action way before you enter the bedroom. You must take action the moment you feel you’re getting aroused.

Letting the arousal build up in your body and remembering about it only when you’re almost penetrating her is a key strategy to failure.

That’s nonsense. Nonsense a lot of men go through.

I’m sure that if you were like I was, you start getting aroused way before she’s naked with her legs spread in your bed.

Maybe you get aroused in the street when taking her to your door, or when she texts you saying she’s coming to your place tonight.

That’s when you start getting hard and paradoxically, that’s the moment when you need to start to relax. Yes, way before sex.

Your ejaculation process starts when your erection is initiating, and you want to start taking control of this process when it’s a “little cub” and not when it becomes an overwhelming monster!

Be careful of the word “relax”. It’s a big, huge word, one of the most useless words in the human dictionary.
You need to know exactly what to relax and how to relax it. Some of the most critical muscles you need to relax are the muscles in your pelvic floor. But how can you relax these tiny muscles if you can’t even feel if your back or buttocks are relaxed?

Start practicing feeling your big muscles first. It takes patience and practice. But if you start relaxing your back or your thighs or you abdomen you’ll be on the right path.

Your mental approach is even more important at this stage though.

I can give you a lot of practical exercises you can do, and I will, but if you don’t believe in your ability to last longer they’ll hardly work for you.

This is why I feel disgusted when I read people who are supposed to be experts, saying that it’s impossible learn how to last longer in bed or that premature ejaculation is incurable. Of course, if you believe so and go to the bedroom with this mindset you won’t go very far.

I can tell you to relax the muscles at the base of your penis, or to learn how to stimulate your shaft more than your glans (penis head) but that’s not gonna work if you don’t believe and envision yourself being able to last longer first of all.

See, imagine yourself having sex with confidence and ease and learn to recognize the moment when you start getting aroused.

Do you start getting aroused when the porn movie is playing or when you think: “I’m gonna watch that porn now”?

Whenever that moment is, start recognizing it.

#thatisall

Fabio Black writes about sex, sex and sex. But not necessarily in that order. Read more about him here.

#NerdsUnite: The Diversion Tactic to Spice Up Your Sex Life

<editorsnote> Nerds, meet my buddy Fabio. Yes. Real name. We're friends in the digispace and he owns and blogs at the fantastically awesome site LetsTalkSex.net. He's here today to share one of his latest and greatest tips on sex, and I only have one more thing left to say ... HIT IT FABIO!! </editorsnote>

#TalkNerdyToMeLover's Fabio Black

Question: Do you yawn every time you get an erection? So bored that you see sex like a shift without a lunch break? Would you rather study the biology of a Trochodendron Nastae than take off your clothes and have sex?

Stop right there. Slap your face. Harder. Hardeeer! :)

Let's play with awareness.

When you do the same routine over and over again, you lose awareness. You go into autopilot mode. It's like if your mind says: "All right I am not needed here, the body is gonna do it, I can think about beer".

Have you ever driven your car to work and found out that you got to your destination without even realizing it? You don't remember the details of the trip, you don't remember what was going on around you because your mind was thinking about your colleague's mini skirt and your body was driving the car unconsciously.

Now, imagine that one day you jump in your car, you take the same street as usual, but that day someone decided to do a public protest in the streets against boring sex ;) and there is a pretty damn big road block.

You will need to take a different and unexplored route.

What would happen? I bet you'd be very careful of the streets around you, you'd be extremely aware of this brand new environment. The same thing happens with sex. If you keep following the same routine over and over, you'll lose awareness, your sensations become numb, and the sex gets boring.

Go on diversion for one day. Explore new territories (a Jack Sparrow hat will certainly help): have sex in different rooms. Be flexible and creative. Instead of using the kitchen to eat and the bedroom to have sex, reverse the roles. If you, like most men, don't care that much about the quality of your sex because you just want to dunk the biscuit, that's ok, but remember that women are more sensitive and they love these things.

Nature wants to protect you, it wants you to survive. So when you are in an unexplored situation, it makes you more alert, more sensitive, that means you'll feel new and stronger sensations.

Some of the things you can try are:

• Sex in the kitchen, on the table
• On the floor in the corridor
• Against the wall, or against the front door (the risk of being caught by the neighbors will surely make you more aware)
• In the bathroom in front of a mirror
• On the bed upside down
• In the fridge between the milk and the carrots :)
• On a chair in the lounge room and so on.

And you know what else is gonna happen? When you're having sex in new unexplored places your usual positions will feel slightly different and even if you won't notice it (especially if you're drunk) she will (even if she's drunk) and she'll love it. (Note: I highly recommend you to wear some shining armour when trying these techniques in order to protect your back from her scratches.)

So, explore new areas of your house, and have sex in as many corners as you can. Cover every square meter of your house with <del>sperm</del> love.

Getting greedy? Wanting more and more and better and better sex? Like boobs? All right! You are in the right place! Fabio Black writes about sex, boobs and sex. But without too much focus on the boobs. Click here for more information.

Have Fun!

#thatisall

Fabio Black writes about sex, sex and sex. But not necessarily in that order. Read more about him here.