#HowTo: Satisfy the self (true blue tips on how to have an orgasm from penetration)

Dear Mom and Dad, 

I feel like this one is a no brainer, but please go away. I love you SO FREAKING MUCH, but stop reading this now. You do not ever need to know that I have sex, and um ... yeah. Oh look a kitty cat ... 

Anywho, hi to everyone not in my family. 

So, I'm crazy efficient when it comes to breaking things down; it's how my brain works, I CONSISTENTLY seek to solve for y. This obviously works well in the webspace, but also doesn't hurt in the sexual department. Dudes, I can please my punanana something fierce. I'm here to tell you all today some of the kinks in the pink that have worked in the hopes of all of you loverly people getting to experience it as well. 

Bit of a backstory first (no pun intended) ... I've been having orgasms from penetration since I was 24. Remember the mentalist? He gave me my first one, followed by a handful of guys since.

So why only some guys and not others? 

I'm not entirely sure, but here is what I have learned by analyzing the process thus far:

1) Being in love matters. 

It's a scientific fact that being in love changes your brain chemistry. Your brain is releasing dopamine, adrenaline, oxytocin, and vasopressin (to name a few) - and these hormones make it fundamentally easier for your body to be capable of achieving orgasm (thank you evolution!!). Dudes, the female orgasm is a CRAZY overwhelming thing. I remember the first time I had one, I was literally scared out of my mind that OMG OMG OMG I just shared this thing that I've only ever done by myself with ANOTHER PERSON IN THIS WORLD!!! I couldn't believe I was able to have one, and then the second that I did my body was CHAARRGGEEEDDDD with so many overwhelming feelings and thoughts ... from shame, to elation, to ... I don't even know; I was just so overwhelmed with the process that I GENUINELY went into shock that I could even be capable of sharing this intimate thing with another person. I then realized through copious amounts of googling, that being in love really mattered for me to be able to experience this. I had been in love twice before the mentalist, but because my body was physically maturing, it certainly did make it also easier. 

This brings me to point number two ... 

2) You have to feel comfortable in your skin. 

That actually sounds like such a grand notion rather than something factual and tangible - so lemme break it down for you a bit more ... 

You need to stop thinking about your body and get lost in the sexual bliss. Think about it, when you masturbate you're not wondering a) am I doing this right or b) do I look fat from this angle? You're instead esconced in your own essence and embracing every move and every ounce of pleasure. Replicate that experience when it comes to sex. I know it's hard to imagine, but the more comfortable you can be in your own skin during the process, the easier this entire situation becomes. 

3) Being on top matters. 

The only time I've ever had an orgasm from being on my back was from when I was receiving oral. (And from that I've only ever had an orgasm once.) Being on top makes it easier for a female since you can control how fast or slow you are going, and also how much stimulation the clitoris actually receives in the process. My first one happened on a couch, but I've also had them on a bed. Depending on the size of the guy and your genital compatability, you can also put a pillow under the dude's butt to help with the lift and thrust, but either way, being on top will CERTAINLY make it a lot easier for you to be able to have the actual orgasm. 

4) Know your time of the month, and plan accordingly. 

The week before my period I am SUUPPPPEERRRRRR friggen horny. Like CRAZY horny - and I'm a horny human being to begin with, but you add that in ... and wooooaahhhh nelly mcdelly, I will fuck your dick right off. I can't help it, it's biological. My hormones are all over the place, I will spend an afternoon crying at a how sweet Kindergarten Cop is, and I will be COMPLETELY incapable of making a logical decision. Just, period end of sentence (no pun intended) - that's how I get. The flip side of this emotional clusterfuck however is the fact that I'm also more sexually charged, and can even achieve multiple orgasms with incredible ease. 

It freaks me out actually, I have literally spent afternoons masturbating since the orgasms wouldn't stop happening!! 

Planning your first orgasm from penetration may not be exactly an easy thing to do, but be conscious when you are having sex before your period. Understand that this is a special time for your body and being able to achieve the orgasm becomes fundamentally easier. 

Whoop Whoop!! Best of luck out there nerdy ladies!!! Happy orgasming!! 

#kthxbye

Agree? Disagree? Tweet me about this post: @JenFriel

#Question: So, exactly how many people have you slept with??

I got asked this question on twitter a few weeks back, and I thought it was so rad I wanted to take it out of 140 characters and turn it into a post.

The question was more eloquently posed - it was along the lines of, how many partners do women have on average?

I don't know the answer on that one. Upon first googling, there doesn't appear to be a national average for this sort of thing. I'm a lifecaster, so I won't speak in generalizations - only first hand, and my number is ... ::drum roll::

I have no idea.

No, but like seriously. I lost my virginity when I was 16 (read more about that here) but I waited until I was like 18 or 19 to become "sexually active."

I remember I kept a little journal with a list of the guys I slept with initially, and then I thought - but when does it end? How many is TOO many. The questions overwhelmed me, and when in doubt my 19 year old self said - I just don't want to know. Ignorance is bliss.

Seriously.

What is the right answer here? I didn't want to tell the second and third guy I slept with how inexperienced I was - yet, that inexperience is SUPER HOT to other dudes ... it's enough to make your head spin. When it comes to sex, there is no "right" or "wrong" answer because there is no set measurement of anything for anyone. Dudes, my parents met in grade school, have been together their entire lives - and were literally everything for each other. By the time I slept with two people I had doubled both of their numbers. Does that make what they're doing wrong, or me right? AbsoFREAKINGlutely not. It just "is" and we are all doing what we think is best for our own lives.

I decided the best course of action was to stop counting and focus on the guy. He's not a number, he's someone I am sharing something very private and very special with. Does that mean I won't have a one night stand? AbsoFREAKINGlutely not. HAHA!! I love love love sex, and sure, if it makes sense - I'll do it. Doesn't happen often, but sometimes lust can take over and as long as you use protection, I don't see anything wrong with it.

Personally for me though, I can get off during penetration - yet have more difficulty doing so with one night stands. There's no emotional connection, and as we all know, that's where the root of the female orgasm is based. I'm an INCREDIBLY efficient person, and if I can't weigh an orgasm out as more likely to happen than not - I won't sleep with them. Men shouldn't be the only ones to derive pleasure from a one night stand, it's just hard however with alcohol consumption and general excitement from the new partner that most guys can't last that long. Pretty true. And ladies, don't even think of going down on him beforehand unless he returns the favor. He's going to be done SO fast at that point, you've basically just given your orgasm the kiss of death. Not going to happen. ::sad face::

Stay true to you, stay true to your heart - and when it comes to sex, throw out the math. Just keep it real.

#thatisall

Fun with #Facebook Chat: Epic Facepalm

Looky looky the message I just got on Facebook ...

First off, hahahahaaha that's actually hilarious. Had no idea.

Second of all, as I stated previously today by posting this conversation from OKC - courting a chickadee with the physical doesn't work unless it's on something like Adult Friend Finder. For reals, on OKC I'm looking for a mate in various capacities, and on Facebook ... dude, I'm just being me.

Men are biologically predisposed to have the desire to spread their seed. Women on the other hand release oxytocin when they orgasm creating a bond - hence why the female orgasm to begin with is based on emotion (read the breakdown here).

It just doesn't work, man.

At all.

What so ever.

#facepalm