#NerdsUnite: The Relationship (The One That Wasn't- Part 2)

<editorsnote> Nerds, meet my buddy Jordan. He was one of the first writers here on TNTML and he's a really rad mofo. I forget how we first started talking - but he lives allllllll the way over in Kansas and wants to talk to you about life from his side of the monitor in the keyword of nerd. I only have one more thing left to say ... HIT IT JORDAN!! </editorsnote>

#TalkNerdyToMeLover's @SaintPepsi

Here we go Part 2 of yet another crazy whirlwind romantic journey. When last we left our story the girl was flying back to Kansas.

Upon arrival I got a monster hug. We were so happy to see each other. After weeks apart it felt like the world stopped with her there in my arms. I still had no idea where I was with this girl though. I couldn't truly read anything she told me. She had told me no before, but how do you read a no that refuses to let go of you? We drove 2 hours back to my place and I handed her the letters. I told her she wasn't allowed to read them until she had readjusted to our town. She was cool with that, even as curious as she is. In a day she had decided that she was readjusted enough to read them, after having seen a few of her friends here in town. Those letters went over like a lead brick at the start; she saw where they were going.

 I’m sure she thought she had told me, “No.” already. She told me again that it just couldn't happen. That no matter what she did, she couldn't feel us in her heart. That 9 out of 10 things felt so right about us that I truly was one of the most amazing guys she had ever met. Just something inside her said not to let herself go for me. She was waiting for the feeling and she just didn't see it coming. She had told me before that in the past she always knew right off the bat that she was into someone. The first fall would tell her everything, and the times she pushed past and let herself go to someone without that fall had been disastrous. Sound a little like Laura? Yeah, it did to me too. Red flag 2.

 I should have listened.  In the middle of all that, her estranged husband IMed her. So she hopped on Skype with him and had her final words of goodbye. In that, she asked about me and why she couldn't get on board with me, because I felt too much like him. Wondering if I too, would turn out to be an ass. He told her she couldn't judge others by his actions, his horrible rationalizations. She told me this all after the conversation. Like I said we didn't hide anything from each other. That was one chapter closed. I asked myself why, if she didn't want to be with me, ask him about me? I asked her then if I was her Ex. She said, "No, I wasn't." She kept the letters and cuddled up again with me that night. In fact she didn't leave my house for 5 days straight. I told her she was dangerous, because this was all feeling so real and yet wasn't. It was tearing me apart. Also I suck at saying no to people. So when she asked if she should leave, I couldn't say she should. Even if it would have been better for my soul. I hate sleeping alone if I can avoid it, and even if what we had wasn't real. It was one of the best relationships I had ever been in. Sad to say that I guess. Then again it felt real to me, even those around us had told us that we looked and acted like a couple. Not just any couple, but that sickeningly sweet couple that just freaks you out by how close they are.

That week my twin brothers came to town and helped her and I with our Halloween costumes. Costumes mind you which were Shredder and Michelangelo from the Ninja Turtles. If you will, a couples costume. She of course didn't see it that way. How could I not though? 

The next few weeks we worked on those costumes until they were all put together. I hadn't brought the topic of us up again. I wasn't going to. I didn't want to scare her away again, especially after the over share of the last 5 letters. You think I would have learned my lesson. A week before Halloween she had a final date thing planned with the guy she was hung up on from before. I told her I felt ill at ease about the whole situation, not being in a REAL relationship though I couldn't really object to it. I’ll admit I was jealous though, she was moving Heaven and Earth for this guy and he was absent. I was moving Heaven and Earth for her and at least I got to hold her at night.

The night before, she had me come over to help her find the perfect outfit. An outfit that she had actually left at my house on accident. I didn't know that until later, but she tore her room apart looking for a top she had discarded in my room. I told her she was dumb for going out of her way for this guy. A guy she wasn't staying with every night. When I, the guy she was staying with every night was right there for her. She said she had to sign off with a, “HA! This is what you are missing out on.” I had written her one final letter. In that letter I too gave her a, “HA! This is what you are missing out on.” Remember, I have a tendency to not say what I mean, so my letters clarify in absolute detail what I am trying to convey. Saves me from having to go back and run through my mind looking for the right thing to say

So, that conversation lead into me talking about my letter and I gave it to her. I didn't want to, because it was in so many words my goodbye. After she read it, she told me again she still couldn't feel it and she had tried so hard to feel it. I told her I had to act, because it still felt very real to me especially with the couples costumes. She then clarified what I assumed, that she didn't think it was a couples costume. Of course...

That night we finally broke through to the core problem dealing with her first love and a loss of hope. I realized there was nothing I could have ever done to break that wall. That she had to find the love for herself, before she could ever love anyone else. Seems my type just might be very damaged girls. I didn't lose hope, but I was done trying to win her affection. As I left I held her, I told her I loved her. She told me she loved me too. The date the next day didn't go well and she started to close that chapter on him. That’s 3 Ex’s she closed chapters on. I didn't read into it though. I was done reading into things. My heart couldn't take it anymore. Still our bond only strengthened. She came over and we watched a movie after the date day and cuddled up. I told her no one would understand what we were at this point, honestly I didn't even know. That even though we weren't together; that when her heart let her love again if she found me to be the one she had to tell me. She promised she would and gave me a very enthusiastic hug. We were diving deeper and deeper into each other still. There was no past that frightened us from the other. Nothing we did or said seemed to drive a wedge between us.  

That weekend we both got sick and I took care of her. She and I took work off and just lazed about the house. Luckily, we got well enough to enjoy Halloween. Which unfortunately was on a Wednesday. Still, we hit the Ville like champs decked out in our amazing costumes. Toured the Ville getting drunker by the hour. That night we went back to my home far gone on beer and found ourselves at the will of our baser instincts. We had spent the better part of four months in each other’s arms and with the inhibitions gone, so were our clothes. Sex seemed like a natural progression. We didn't really sleep that night and enjoyed each other far into the early morning. I honestly can’t ever recall having that much sex in one sitting. We would stop long enough to drink some water, giggle at ourselves, and grab a smoke. Now I can blame drunkenness on our initial sexual encounter, but the next day when we were sober and kept going well that sent my head spinning again. I told her, “I think she liked me.” She told me, “Nope, nothing had changed.” This was a slight I wasn't prepared for, although I should have been.

She left and we had tentative plans to hang with my mom the next day, and my brothers later that day. She canceled on both. I called to see what was up. That lead into a 2 hour discussion about how now that we had tried EVERYTHING and her heart still wasn't on board. That there was nothing left to do but be friends.

I was dismantled, perplexed, and broken. My brothers were my saving grace that night. From a girl that had broken my heart 3 times in four months. I think that might be a record. Fool me once shame on you... We prepped our outfits for a Steampunk convention we were going to in Wichita the next day. It was a very hard night. Still I tossed the tears and heartache aside and headed to Wichita for the convention. Wichita the home of Laura. I had some questions for her on the whole scenario. She held a very unique perspective on it. The convention was a blast and I got to see Laura again. We talked about all our current relationship craziness; I thanked her for not having sex with me. I know that’s weird, but she was right when she told me it would have meant too much for me and tied me closer to her in a way she couldn't reciprocate. I was glad now, frustrated then. I saw the wisdom in it clearly. Hopefully, not a mistake I will make again in the future. Let’s face it though, I probably will.

Well I'll stop here for now. One part left to go. The final No that gives me the resolution to move on. I think you'll be surprised by this ending. It certainly surprised me. 

#nerdsunite

click here to follow Jordan on the twittah!

#NerdsUnite: The Relationship (The One That Wasn't)

<editorsnote> Nerds, meet my buddy Jordan. He was one of the first writers here on TNTML and he's a really rad mofo. I forget how we first started talking - but he lives allllllll the way over in Kansas and wants to talk to you about life from his side of the monitor in the keyword of nerd. I only have one more thing left to say ... HIT IT JORDAN!! </editorsnote>

#TalkNerdyToMeLover's @SaintPepsi

I've avoided this post for a few weeks now. Maybe the wound is still fresh, although mentally I have stitched myself back together. Found my resolution. That’s the important part I think. So time to roll the story of the last 4 months. See with every new girl I fall for, I feel like I get closer and closer to the girl I am ultimately looking for. That being said, the closer I get, the harder the fall each time. As any of you who have been keeping up with my love life via this site have seen... I’ve gone through some crazy emotional roller coaster rides. I don’t just stick my feet in when it comes to love. I like to dive in and see where the current takes me. So here we go, a story that leads to yet another very close friend for life I’m sure.

I was biking home from work a while back, when a black SUV came up the road and Bullhorned me. If you don’t know what that is, let me illuminate it for you. It’s when a bunch of douchebags get their giggles off by driving around trying to scare the shit out of bikers. Anyway, I got home and threw an angry Facebook rant down about it.

What I got was a response from a girl I rarely talked to. We had hung out socially a few times at the bars, but never for long extended times. That back and forth lead to IMing and we talked for a good 2 hours. At which time she said, “Why haven’t we hung out?” I responded, “We should!” So we went to IHOP at 2 in the morning. There we dove into each other’s lives and I ended up telling her about a series of paintings I have done using my hair. I told her I had gotten the idea from the shower and throwing my hair on the wall after shampooing. Sounds way weirder than it is. She said she did that too. She told me she wanted to paint. So we left there and went back to my place to paint. Around 5 in the morning she took off. I was a little stunned. Not many people I have ever met are so free form to just jump into my life like that. Especially, the not sleeping part of my life. Trust me I make awkward first impressions at my best and it takes a while to warm up to who I am. Once you do, of course you’ll love me for life, just saying. Still I was more than a little interested in this girl. I kept my guard up because like I said before I tend to jump into things head first. I’m trying to be less susceptible to heart-ache. Didn't really hear from her for a few days until I got a Facebook message that she really wanted to hang out again. So we did.

I will say this in my interactions with girls; I want every new experience to be memorable. A new adventure if you will, every time we hang out. This time we went to one of the high points around our town and just talked for hours. We kept doing this up all night together thing over and over again. Naturally, I told her I liked her on the roof of my house under a starlit sky. She responded in kind. She really liked me too. Sounds good so far... then came the, “but.” Red flag number one. She had been talking to a guy and felt it would be wrong to end things there before seeing where they went. Told me it was something she had a lot of faith in, and that it held great potential. I couldn't fault her for that, because I had done the same thing with Laura. You remember my 8 part series on the greatest, “what if” of my life. I told her that was cool, I wouldn't pressure her anymore about it. That night she crashed at my place. No sex mind you, just cuddled up together. Thus started the great undoing of me.

Over the course of the next month we spent every spare moment we could together. We even started planning things way in the future, which went against one of my rules. You know the rules we set up to govern our actions in love. Well I side stepped this rule, which was never plan anything greater than half the time you have been dating them. I told myself, “Well we aren't technically dating.” I did however, take her out all the time, I never called them dates. To me though it felt like and were dates. Both socially and just the two of us. Still she was spending almost every night at my house, in my bed with me. It was starting to feel like a relationship, who am I kidding it was a relationship. I even gave her dresser drawers so she wouldn't have to keep driving to her house before work. I also in her own words gave her the perfect day. Where we went on a hike, saw a swarm of monarch butterflies, walked with deer, and talked about what we were going to name our future children. We had danced in the rain together. We had missed so many amazing first kiss moments. I brought that up once during a long conversation we had. She said she had been counting them. Top that with the fact that we haven’t lied to each other since we met. Complete and total honesty between the two of us. So after a few months of that; she was planning on heading back to her home town. Half a country away. I told her again, “Look this really does feels like a relationship.” I highlighted all the aspects of it that were. She responded by saying, “We haven’t kissed or had sex.” Side note she had kissed me once while drunk. I told her that’s not how I define a relationship. That’s just the perks of monogamy. In fact we had discussed our sexuality at length, which also didn't help the desire for her. We synced up in so many ways it was uncanny. Of course there were aspects of us that didn't. I like that though. It keeps you on your toes. Makes the relationship more interesting.  Still she was held up on a guy. She had told me who it was and made me promise never to divulge that information. I will take any secret someone tells me to the grave if need be. So long as I know it’s a secret. So I wrote her a letter. Remember a letter is what got me in trouble with Laura. When I fall in love and there are questions rolling in my head, I can’t get them out till I write them down. So I did just that.

The week before she left we took a trip to KC to see Nightwish. The trip seemed to be filled with failure. The bands lead singer got hospitalized, we had to sleep on the floor of my friend’s house, and she got dumped into meeting my brother without a lot of prep. Still I gave her the letter after a late night walk. She liked it. Really liked it. Then came the, “but.” She wasn't ready for me or anyone and was still hung up on the other guy. She also told me I had lied to her. Siting her Ex-husband was a storyteller as well, and it left a bitter taste in her mouth. I was stunned. I don’t lie! I don’t lie to anyone. Let alone the ones I love. She contended that it was because I exaggerate when I tell stories. That is true I thought, instilling doubt in myself. So from that day forth I decided to extract my exaggeration with girls I wanted to get to know. When it comes to talking to someone that you want to know you, why tell-tale tells. They may fall in love with the stories of you, only to find the man less than fantastic. Now my stories are generally amazing without the over the top aspects. I am and forever will be a storyteller though. Exaggeration is part of that. So I decided to cut it from the courting process alone. So when we got back and she prepared to leave, I told myself I was just going to let her go and not focus on her. The 2 weeks of her absence would do my heart good I thought. I could get away from the screaming of my mind and let myself cool down. I wasn't going to text or call without her initiating contact.

She called me almost every day she was there. We spoke at length and long into the night about all of her past and the friends she had there. She had given me every part of her back story I could fathom, swapping stories back and forth. In the course of this I really started to question everything. My mind spun like a top. Why is she calling me, asking me to just get up and move there with her, telling me more than anyone else she missed me? Especially, after telling me, “no” because I felt too much like her Ex Husband. She was still missing me. Those two weeks I wrote her I believe 5 letters, each with my own answers to questions she had about my character. Each a semblance of the love I had for her. In one, to prove to her that my stories weren't all bad: I even took a dream she had for herself and brought it to life. I wrote her dream as a reality.  She loved that one a lot. When the time came for her to leave, she wasn't ready to. However, she knew she only wanted to see one person. She only wanted one person to greet her at the airport and that was me.

There you have it my friends Part 1 of yet another tail spin romantic endeavor. Keep your eyes peeled for part 2 as the whole thing seems to unravel in front of me. One day i may find a girl that isn't emotionally unavailable. I guess today is not yet that day.

#nerdsunite

click here to follow Jordan on the twittah!

#NerdsUnite: Midwest Music (Jessica Furney)

<editorsnote> Nerds, meet my buddy Jordan. He was one of the first writers here on TNTML and he's a really rad mofo. I forget how we first started talking - but he lives allllllll the way over in Kansas and wants to talk to you about life from his side of the monitor in the keyword of nerd. I only have one more thing left to say ... HIT IT JORDAN!! </editorsnote>

#TalkNerdyToMeLover's @SaintPepsi

Just recently, the bar I haunt Auntie Maes, had something called Free Music Fridays... because paying three bucks to see a musician is outrageous. Sigh... people can be so cheap. It’s put on by the local paper I work for called, “The Hype.” So I was there supporting the local musicians. Mostly, for my little sister’s boyfriend’s metal band, “White.” So imagine my surprise when directly following the dark metal they performed, came the voice of an angel accompanied by guitar. A stark contrast to the metal for sure. I checked the flyer for the show and found the new singer to be Jessica Furney. I was struck by the raw power her vocals sent out. Her voice drawing a crowd of drunken bar flies to an almost silence. Listening intently to her sing her original songs and covering some well-known ones in her own way. Song after song as she held our attention fast. I dared not even chance a conversation for fear of missing a single note.

I thought surely, this voice has had more of a following than this tiny bar. Finding out later in conversation, that she had actually made top 46 on American Idol. From hearing her that night, I can honestly say they cut her off short. She should have made the finals. Her takes on songs both contemporary and from days of old breathed new life into each incarnation. She summoned a force that rushed through the crowded bar like a hurricane gale.  Each selection followed with thunderous applause. “This should not have been a free show,” I kept thinking to myself. 

Luckily, I caught her singing, “House of the Rising Sun.” It may just be the opinion of one humble writer, but her voice moves something inside of you. While this is just a cover and you can well say, “Sure, anyone can sing someone elses music.” She later linked me to her personal Youtube channel where she had several original works posted. All of which I heard that night too. Still you may not have had a chance to sample her soulful voice brought to light with lyrics that play across your heart. Tempting the forlorn to act, brings couples closer, and ending every night with a kiss of her sweetest music. Let me enlighten you to her own works crafted with the heart of a girl,  that has so much more to offer to the world than the few songs for an American Idol. She breathes life into the heart land with verses to sway the soul.

So in closing if you have heard Jessica Furney... if unlike me you chanced upon her in American Idol and always wished you could have heard more. Please give her some love on her Youtube Channel and spread the word of this sweet songstress. She has the drive to prove herself for far more than this town has to offer her. That being said I feel so blessed to have witnessed her in my own favorite bar. Maybe someday I will PAY to hear her singing for audiences of thousands. God willing fate will choose her to move your heart too.

#nerdsunite

click here to follow Jordan on the twittah!

#NerdsUnite: The Trouble with Muses

<editorsnote> Nerds, meet my buddy Jordan. He was one of the first writers here on TNTML and he's a really rad mofo. I forget how we first started talking - but he lives allllllll the way over in Kansas and wants to talk to you about life from his side of the monitor in the keyword of nerd. I only have one more thing left to say ... HIT IT JORDAN!! </editorsnote>

#TalkNerdyToMeLover's @SaintPepsi

I have been drawing and writing for a while now. The rate at which I produce is how I feel I sustain my life. If I am not creating or pushing myself to create, I feel like I’m dying. I know that sounds extreme, but it’s true. I don’t ever want to stop or let up in my pursuit to better myself as an artist or a writer. In fact when I hit an artist block I feel like I’m aging. So as long as I am creating I feel like I am immortal. So every day I draw or write. When I am at work I am thinking of ideas to create, stories to pen, poems to put to paper, and some would think that is draining. I find it exhilarating. I look for inspiration everywhere and therein lay the Muses. I am fascinated with the ability people play in granting you vision into the beauty you can offer through your own art. I have had many muses and some of them may have never even known it. Most who do, are of course excited and thankful to be the cause for creation. So naturally the girls I like or date garner that privilege more than the rest. As I grow to know who they are more and more who they are issues forth from my works of art with more and more detail. Beauty filtered through a pen and they see themselves and smile. Until there comes a new muse.

See I can’t always be responsible for where inspiration comes from. Sometimes it’s as simple as a girl or even a guy sitting across from me at a coffee shop. Other times a musician or model who just seems to spark my interest. I can’t say when or where these times will happen, however I can say it has been troublesome in past relationships. It comes with questions and explanations that are rarely accepted. If you love me why can’t I be the focus of all your artwork? Why do you need to go looking for inspiration outside of the relationship? Artists the world over have no doubt dealt with this. In fact it is a safe assumption that’s why so many artists are hopeless romantics, chasers of the impossible, or single. Finding a significant other that understands the ways of inspiration without the accompaniment of jealousy is a tough treasure hunt. I had one X that actually told me she wanted me to draw her more times than the previous girlfriend. Whom I had been with for over two years. Keep in mind inspiration from the ones you love will be prevalent in your art, but over time that just grows. It doesn’t come in an instant.

Follow that with the fear of creation. What if the way you interpret your loved ones is not to their liking. Many of my artistic friends are very cautious about drawing their friends and more so their significant others. Trust me, I have drawn pictures of people trying to capture who they are when I wasn’t inspired. They asked me to draw them and I failed horribly. It’s a weird world for creators. If you do comedy and you tell someone that’s your line of work the first words out of their mouth are, “Say something funny!” Much the same with an artist or a poet. Draw me or write a poem about me are quick responses you get from anyone that finds out what you do. I cannot tell you the amount of times I was drawing at a bar and had a girl sit down next to me and utter this exact phrase, “Oh you’re an artist, you should draw me!” Why? Have you inspired me? Maybe if you do I will draw you, but your existence at this point isn’t reason to create without merit. Of course you can’t tell someone that. So I usually do a quick sketch to placate their curiosity and that may be good or bad. In this way I relate in some small fraction to the beautiful girls that have to placate and deny suitors for simply being pretty or a girl.

Relationships are complicated enough without adding reasons for jealousy. Previous muses are generally close friends of mine. I don’t mean to brag, but I have a serious number of very beautiful female friends. That certainly doesn’t help. I am not willing to give up these friendships for a new love either. I know it may be stupid... but I hate it when people get into a relationship with a stranger and estrange all their friends because their significant other can’t trust them. What is a relationship, if not trust that someone will be faithful to you.  I digress... the point is that this is just the reality of artists. We may have many muses, many points of inspiration, many reasons to draw. You the new relationship, may not always be the center of our creativity. I can tell you for my part however, if you are the one I love. I will not give you cause to doubt my loyalty. I will never cheat, nor falter in my capacity to be a suitable suitor for you. So long as you understand the trouble that comes with muses.

#nerdsunite

click here to follow Jordan on the twittah!

#NerdsUnite: The Circle of Strife

<editorsnote> Nerds, meet my buddy Jordan. He was one of the first writers here on TNTML and he's a really rad mofo. I forget how we first started talking - but he lives allllllll the way over in Kansas and wants to talk to you about life from his side of the monitor in the keyword of nerd. I only have one more thing left to say ... HIT IT JORDAN!! </editorsnote>

#TalkNerdyToMeLover's @SaintPepsi

Authors Note - I kept this gender neutral because this happens on both sides of the fence. Still I find it to hold true for the friendzoned whom complain about their inability to get the people they want. Myself included sometimes.

You see it told time and time again. The girl or guy you like is in a relationship with a complete douchebag that treats them like shit. They have told you how much they would like a guy or girl like you. You always say this of course in jest, that they should just leave their significant other and date you. You both laugh as if that reality of it, is far-fetched. You saunter home and wonder how this person can love that person and yet not even entertain thoughts of being with you. You claim it’s the nice people finish last thing, that people only love assholes, or that you were friendzoned. Well, all that may be true, but I have a speculation to make.

We’ve all have had our fair share of love interests that have fallen hard for pricks. You can’t figure out why they would continue to love this person that has lied, cheated, and abused them. To be honest, they can’t tell you why they are with them either. So let me enlighten this dark and confusing arena of the human heart. People tend to be drawn toward Alpha characteristics. People who have the right amount of confidence to step up and ask for what they want. Sadly, the nice guys and girls take a very sideways approach to sending their affection vibes. So that initial spark comes from the confidence enlisted by the aggressor. So step one is becoming confident enough to at least instagate. Once entangled with the Alpha be they women or men, those people will take the others on a whirlwind of romance and sexual fulfillment that they hadn’t expected and now, “love.” I feel people often interpret lust as love. They love the not knowing, the crazy passion of the moment, and the fierce affection. Then it all comes crashing down for them. Their whirlwind romance has to be described and titles put in place. Herein lies the fall out.

That push for titles, and roles takes the Alpha out of its dominant role and starts to form equality. The partnership is starting to develop and so the Alpha starts to pull away. They don’t want to end things, because the easy to acquire sexual partner fuels them. Yet, they don’t want to be tied to someone either. So they engage in abuse whether it’s mental or physical. The reaction is a fight to keep that spark alive from the subordinate partner. This fight is why people stay with douchebags and assholes. They become invested in trying to please the original Alpha and doing whatever they can to re-secure their affections. To the point that they find all of who they were just a month before changing. They lose their core moral values as they further debase themselves at the bequest of the partner. Whom is at the same time attempting to push them away by demanding they act in accordance with their new now outlandish requests. Outlandish for the very purpose of the Alpha assuming their partners would never let themselves go that far. As they allow themselves to break rule after rule they had set up in their hearts to maintain the affection they had for the Alphas at one time.  The Alphas then stop trying to push them and just assume they will act in accordance to their whim. The Alphas know they have them and so they start allowing themselves to take chances. They breach the relationship by exploring alternatives. They engage in flirtations in front of their partner, while insisting they were only being friendly. Suddenly, they are gone for gaps of time without explanation. Nor will they give one, demanding that they deserve their own personal time and shouldn’t be held to some strict code of relationship rules.

During this time the partner becomes frantic and jealous. They lock onto any discrepancy in story and start to search for infidelity. They turn into a full blown freaked out detectives, tailing the other person, driving by their house at night wondering if they are home, lying in wait to happen upon them in social situations. This gives the Alpha more power to say they are being crazy. Of course they are being crazy; their significant other is driving them insane. If they happen to find the Alpha cheating on them, then they rationalize their own infidelity. Something they never would have done, cheating is the heroine of relationships. they swear they would never do it, but having it done to them seems to be a reason to get back. Never thinking they could just break up with the Alpha and be done with this madness. They calculate who they could use to secure the desired reaction. If but to only hurt the Alpha or turn their eye back to them. Hoping beyond hope to swing the power balance in their favor. Here’s where that nice, friendzoned person comes in. They having always been there, will still be there for this person and without a doubt that person will come to them with all these problems. Their significant other never liking the nice person, nor trusting them starts to get jealous. They know the jealousy of their partner and so uses the nice friend to play off the Alpha’s insecurities even if the Alpha no longer wants to be with his partner. Leading the unsuspecting person in the friendzone into the path of destruction. Allowing this nice person to finally make good on their desires they take this and fling it in the face of the Alpha.

A huge fight occurs, back on even ground as each of them has wronged the other now they simply agree to never do it again and apologize. Starting the cycle all over again. The amount of work they put into keeping the other person is why they fall so hard for them. When they aren’t confronted with so many disastrous fall outs and reconciliations the tie to that person is not as strong. They don’t feel like they have been through battle to win their heart. Only that it was given to them and when love is easy, it’s assumed its a friendship.  The nice friend being left alone once again. Confused and worn out from constantly being the fall back. They walk away, no longer enamored with the love they had before. This creates a gap in the rant ability of the lack luster love affair. They no longer have a place to vent and therefore it all gets dumped on the Alpha. The Alpha realizes that the other will never leave and breaks up with them or the other leaves them when they have no one outside of their relationship to stabilize them. From there they move back to that quick affair they had with their friend.

That friend feeling used and skeptical of the renewed fancy of their former love, gives them little merit for fear of being used again. So upon finally realizing that the love they should have pursued was there all the time, they fight harder for it.  Complaining to a new friend they had to get in the absence of the last one about how this person used to like them. The nice friend had friendzoned their love to protect their own heart. Now this enrages the desired and they can’t figure out why the nice person wouldn’t want them anymore. The nice person isn’t as nice as they used to be, because being used changes you. They become a bit of an asshole now. The previous love falls for them, because they are elusive and seem like damaged goods and could use fixing. Pushing harder and harder for them to find it in their hearts to forgive them and give them a chance. Only to have a new person falling for them while they are going after the previous nice person, who has become an asshole and the cycle starts all over again. When the new, now no longer nice Alpha forgives them. The circle of strife.

#nerdsunite

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