Surprise, You're Adopted!

#TalkNerdyToMeLover's @maniacalmorgan 

Social media really has changed my life. It’s a huge part of who I am today. I found my current living situation through Twitter. I’ve reconnected with friends I hadn’t talked to in over 10 years through Facebook. My current job, which I love to death, is because of social media. Shit, I’m the Director of Social Media Marketing. Boom! “That’s great, Morgan. What the eff are you getting at?” It’s story time.

A little bit about me. I’m 24 years old. I was born September 24th in Cape Girardeau, Missouri, but raised in Los Angeles. I grew up in as an only child in an amazing family and love my mom and dad to death. I spent some time in public school in my early years, but was privileged to spend the majority of my schooling in private schools. I did spend the last 2 years of high school at an all boys military boarding school called The Marine Military Academy. I wasn’t a problem child, my parents just wanted me to get into a good college seeing as I was slacking in the academic department my first two years of high school. I was far more interested in sports and girls. After dropping out of Texas A&M: Galveston, things with my parents got rather rough. I fought all the time with my mom, as she had high expectations of me. Both of my parents are smart and successful, so seeing me drop out of school was a disappointment. I get it now, but that time period was rough. Although I could write a book about all of my life experiences, I’m here to tell you the story of one specific event.

So, I touched on the fact I was born in Missouri. My parents both lived in Los Angeles at the time, so when I found this out, I figured I just popped out early- while they were on vacation or something. I’m a guy, we’re not known for asking those kinds of questions. Or maybe, it’s just me. Either way, that’s what I thought. So, let’s rewind to the late 2007, early 2008. Myspace still hadn’t been completely dominated by Facebook. I had Cape Girardeau listed as my hometown because I found it cool that I’m not entirely an LA native. Anyway, I got a friend request from this older lady (37 years old if I remember correctly) who was from the same hometown. My thought process was that she was probably new to Myspace and was just adding people who had things in common with her. Alright, I accepted her. We were friends for a few months and she would send me the occasional nice message. I would reply back and just be friendly. Cool. One day (February 22nd, 2008 to be exact) I was chilling with two of my friends. Oddly enough, these are the two friends I’ve known the longest in life. My friend Matt who I’ve known for nearly 15 years and my friend Andrew who I’ve known for 10. Matt had informed me that this girl we went to grade school with had become a porn star. Immediately, we ran to the computer to find her on Myspace to see if it was true. I got to the computer first, so I logged into my Myspace. I had a message waiting for me in my inbox. It was from the nice older lady. Interested, I opened it with my friends hovering over my shoulder and this is what it said:

Im really not sure how to say this or even if I should. Ive tried so many times to tell you and every time I would get scared because Im not out to try to change ur life. I hope that I dont overstep any bounderies that I shouldnt overstep because thats not why Im here.
Did you ever wonder why I found you on myspace and that I was from the same hometown as you? well, the reason is because I'm ur biological mother. All your life (21 yrs)I have waited for you to be old enough to contact me or to contact you and without sussess on my end, it took me this long to find you. I want you to know that Ive never stopped loving, caring or wondering about you. Ive always wondered what u looked like, what ur personality was like, was you happy..ect..when I found u online, I couldnt believe it, after all this time, I finally found you. I sat and cried my eyes out and then wasnt for sure what to do from there. So, here I am.
Please know that it is TOTALLY your choice if you would like to persue this any further and the decision that you make, I will respect. I love you son, always have and always will no matter what! I just want you to be happy in life and for you to know that you are very specially loved.
I have pics up on my profile of my side of the family if you are interested, please feel free to take a look at them. I want you to know that you also have a little brother (full blood) thats 9 yrs old. Atleast you will know what some of your background is. You are amazingly beautiful, which I always knew you would be.

At this point in the message, I started laughing. There’s no way I was adopted. I would have known something. I mean, I have blonde hair and blue eyes just like my mom. No way! I closed the message and proceeded to look up my old classmate. Sure enough, she had become a porn star. Hilarious! I had this feeling in the pit of my stomach in regards to the message. I couldn’t shake it. I went back to the message and finished reading it with my friends still sitting beside me.

Your parents, **** and ***, have been wonderful over the years, writting to me here and there, letting me know a little about your life. They are wounderful people and I love them with my heart and sole. Im not sure how much your parents have told you and I dont want to upset them and Im not here to start a fued between you and your family, please believe me when I say that.
Im not here to make you feel obligated to talk to me, I just want you to know that the option is there. (with open arms and an open heart)Im sure your curious, I know I am and I would be honored in answering any questions that you have. If you ever want to contact me, you can reach me by email, here, phone, or write to my home..heres all the info..
1) email.: *******************
2) address: *****************
3) Cell phone: ***************
I hope that our lives will one day unite but until then, please take care of yourself and be happy Morgan, and know that my heart is always open for you. Feel free to contact me anytime...
Ive always loved you
love,
*********

I hate to do this to you amazing people, but I will have to continue this story later. This is a very emotional story and a pivotal part of my life. I’ve never actually shared the message with anyone and reading it brings tears to my eyes. I am surrounded by love in my life, and I’m very lucky to have discovered even more people that love me. Stay tuned for the next portion of this tale.

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#ShitGotReal - I got caught stealing

#TalkNerdyToMeLover's @JenSquard

When I was a kid I would steal everything.  EVERYTHING.  For no reason, either.  Not because I needed it.  Not because I really even wanted it.  Just because I could.  Maybe I wanted to get caught on some level.  I never stole from anywhere I worked, just retail.  And never anything huge, just small stuff.  Cheap jewelry, candy, pens, body spray, lip gloss...anything and everything that would fit in my pockets or bag.

I will never forget the rush of it.  Being sneaky is one of my favorite things (isn’t illicit sex the best?), and I would plan things out in advance sometimes.  At one point I was even keeping a little journal of the things I had taken.  It made me feel powerful when my life was a bowl full of shit. 

Sooooo, one day I bought a couple of nice hiking backpacks for my boyfriend and I, and was heading out of the mall through JC Pennys.  I stopped and looked at some jewelry, and found some that I thought my sister might like for her birthday.  Looking back, there is no way she would have liked it, but I always wanted to have a reason for taking things.  I saw an employee eyeing me, so I wandered around for a while, talked to my mom on the phone, looked at some other stuff, and grabbed some clothes to try on.  While I was in the changing room I took all the tags off of them, and shoved them in my new backpacks.  I left the tags on the seat and took off.  I got to the parking lot before the “loss prevention” guy caught me.  OH MY GOD, talk about fucking embarrassing.  He walked me back through the entire store into his office.   There were people from school in the store, and they totally could see what was going on!  

He started talking to his co-worker about how he knew from the minute I walked in that I was going to steal something.  At the time it totally pissed me off, but now I guess I understand.  He wrote up a report, called the cops, and took my picture to hang on his wall of idiots.  I was 18.  

I was late to work and had to explain to my boyfriend, who worked with me, what happened.  Totally lied my ass off, too.  I was soo embarrassed I thought that anything was better than the truth.  I told him that I didn’t steal, but I was going to just plead no contest in court just so I didn’t have to deal with it, since I didn’t have money to hire a lawyer.  Riiiiiiiiiiiggghhtt....that makes perfect sense.  And he totally bought it.  So did my mom (sorry mom!).  

Court was a nightmare.  The judge totally called me out on what an asswipe I was.  He sentenced me to community service and a huge fine, and I was on my way.  The whole situation just made me want to die.  In a pretty serious way.  But it worked.  I haven’t stolen anything since then.  It’s not that I don’t think about it...it’s just that getting caught now would kill me.  What a dumb dumb dumb thing to do, but I really think it is all about power.  When I started stealing I had a pretty rough life.  My dad was abusive and controlling, and I had no power over anything.  I was also a pathological liar.  I’m glad I was caught.  It sucked nards, but it broke a cycle that very well could have continued into adulthood.  

This is my big secret.  The thing in my life that is so embarrassing that I didn’t tell my husband about it until a few days ago.  I grew up poor, and the fact that I would steal makes me feel so super poor.  And so white trash - not something I'm okay with.  And while I have enough confidence for three women, I used to be so scared of being judged.  But I’m not now.  And damn, it feels good.

Like what you read? Why not follow me on Twitter: @JenSquard