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<editorsnote> Hi, I'm Jen Friel, and we here at TNTML examine the lives of nerds outside of the basements and into the social media, and dating world.  We have over 75 peeps that write about their life in real time. (Real nerds, real time, real deal.) Sit back, relax, and enjoy some of the stories!! </editorsnote>

 

 

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Entries in love addict (2)

Friday
Jun082012

#Status: It's complicated (the black baggage)

<editorsnote> Nerds, meet my buddy Tiffany. She's a recovering love addict making her way through this new digital age with a complicated Facebook status and an even more complicated view of life and men. She's here to discuss today her latest and greatest, and I only have one more thing left to say ... HIT IT TIFFANY!!</editorsnote>

#TalkNerdyToMeLover's Tiffany Davis

The black bag has officially been laid to rest. What does that mean you might be wondering? 

The black bag is a hobo style bag that I purchased from Old Navy on clearance in 2006 for $5.00. It was a steal, such a steal that I bought one in brown too, but the brown bag hasn’t gotten much play. I guess it goes to show how often I wear things that match with brown. That is probably something else I should think about after this. I digress.  I bought the black bag during my 5 year stint as a sales rep selling beauty products to salons and spas. I was so in love with this particular bag because it was a fashionable way to carry around all of the crap that is needed when doing business to business product sales. I used the black bag day and night. I toted it along in and out of every salon I entered, it went with me from home to work, and coast to coast. It was my main bag. It is such a large bag that I put a smaller, more practical purse inside of it.  The black bag eventually transitioned into the main mode of transportation for everything this girl could need on a day to day basis. At any given time you could find perfume, deodorant, a small wristlet purse holding all of my credit cards and cash, hair ties, you name it, I had it in the black bag. This was the best $5.00 I had ever spent. I have even been made fun of for carrying around such a large bag, to which I simply replied “hey, I come with a lot of baggage”. Yes, sometimes I do crack myself up.
It is now 6 years later and up until today I still used the black bag every single day. The bag has become tattered and torn, the faux leather had started to peel off leaving behind remnants of the bag wherever I went. Don’t think I didn’t notice the bag was falling apart, I did. I even started the search for a bag that would replace my beloved black bag, but nothing compared. While there are black bags out there that were just as nice, if not nicer than this particular black bag, none compared in price. I can’t imagine spending $50 or more on a comparable bag, so I haven’t.

Last night I was spending time with “Someone” and I asked him to hand me my black bag. When he handed it to me, I noticed it’s tattered, sad state and said “I need a new bag, this one is falling apart”. He replied “I know, it’s disgusting, it leaves little black pieces everywhere”. “I can always tell you were here when I find little pieces of the black bag laying wherever it was”. I busted up in laughter. It was just so funny, because he stated what I already knew, but didn’t want to face. I wondered how many remnants of my black bag had been left behind in other places I had been. As I started to picture other people finding random little black pieces of some unexplainable material reality set in. It is time to put the black bag to rest.

The black bag represents a lot to me and got me thinking about the obvious, baggage. What other kind of baggage am I carrying around, leaving remnants everywhere I land? It represents holding onto something that is old, and beat up, that once served a purpose, but no longer does. Whether it be an old story or belief that I have, a pattern on repeat, or things left undone that do not go unnoticed, yet are ignored. It is so ironic how this old bag truly represents my old baggage.

In yoga we are often reminded to let go of things that no longer serve us. That is easier said than done. Often times it is so much easier to stay in the same old patterns. It becomes less difficult to face things that are right before our eyes, to ignore what we don’t want to deal with. Sometimes it takes having someone point something out before we really decide to toss out the old baggage we have been lugging around for years.

As I emptied the black bag and threw it in the trash, I felt a sense of freedom. I finally did what I knew I needed to do. Yes, this means I will be temporarily using a bag that won’t match with everything. But- I would rather be mis-matched then leave behind black remnants of my baggage everywhere I go. Besides, it is high time I lightened my load anyway.

What is your black baggage, and how long are you willing to carry it with you?

#thatisall

click here to follow Tiffany on twitter!

 

Monday
Feb202012

#Status: Single. A 6 Month No Man Mission

<editorsnote> Nerds, meet my buddy Tiffany. She's a love addict who is now purging herself of men in the hopes of finding a cure. Think she can do it?? She has given herself six months, and I only have one more thing left to say ... HIT IT TIFFANY!!</editorsnote>

#TalkNerdyToMeLover's @nomanmission

Since the age of 14 I have been in one long term relationship or another. During my most recent break up after 3 1/2 years I decided it is time to take myself off the market for the next 6 months. This will not be an easy task for a boy crazy girl like myself. I am absolutely in love with being in love. I am a HUGE flirt. I love the feelings of butterflies in my stomach, the euphoric feelings when navigating a new love, the excitement, the newness of falling in love. These are the reasons I always end up in a relationship. I have never been the kind of girl that likes to date multiple guys, I won't jump in bed with just anybody. I love LOVE. I crave it, I live for it.

Because I am such a hopeless romantic I jump in head first when I get those feelings and think that they will last forever. They never do from my past experiences and scientifically it has been proven that after a couple years those feelings fade. All sparks fade out. When those initial feelings go away I am left bored, lonely, unfulfilled and looking for that next euphoric feeling. It's like a drug for me, it is my addiction. Yep, I am like the song Addicted to Love. My name is Tiffany and I am addicted to love.

So, this is my outlet to chronicle my "6 month NO MAN mission". What is this mission exactly? Well as much as I would like to have a gray area, there isn't one. It means for 6 months starting on December 15, 2011 I will not date. Does it mean no making out, no sex, nothing, I lament? The answer is yes, much to my dismay because I can't imagine no intimate contact with another human for 6 months, but this is my mission, my growing time. Even as I type this I get a tightness in my chest because to be quite honest, I don't know how I will do it for 6 long months. No dating, no making out, no sex...only friends..EEEEEK..

I realize that in order to be good for a relationship one must be content with being alone. One must know what it is like to endure long lonely nights, to be okay with ALONE. So far I have not had any experience in that department. Even if I wasn't in a long term relationship and "single" I had a guy in tow. 2011 was an incredibly transforming year for me so why not take that transformation a step further and overcome my addiction to being in love? Shit this sucks. There should be a support group like AA for this sort of disease!

In this blog I intend to share my experiences, the good bad and the ugly moments. Will I be honest if I fall off the wagon? Yes, as much as it will suck to admit my defeats, I will. I have several people holding me accountable to this "6 month NO MAN mission" because just like any other addict, I am weak when it comes to my addiction. I am not completely closing myself off to possibilities because if Mr. Right comes along I won't shun him, but he will have to hang around and be my friend for the next 6 months. The bigger challenge will be for me to resist if Mr. Right comes along. 6 months Tiff, be strong!

Men, I will be available to date on June 15, 2012. Too bad Mars will be leaving my sign a few weeks later. Of course I would choose the one time that Mars stays in my sign for 8 months rather than the usual 7 weeks making me irresistible to do a "6 month no man mission". Why can't I ever just take the easy road in life? Not my style, never has been.

I special thanks to JK for giving me the idea to do this. Right now I curse you for it, but I'm sure someday I will thank you!

#thatisall

click here to follow Tiffany on twitter!