#Randombling: That Nerdy Chick

Randombling: A 5 minute long unedited random stream of consciousness produced by a nerd for nerds.

#nowplaying: So much things to say- Bob Marley

It is CRAZY retarded how much I love what I do. Honestly, the love for building this community was the ONLY thing that has gotten me through being homeless for almost an entire year. Yep, not knowing where you are gonna sleep really messes with you psychologically ... but knowing that you have a "home" online, just makes it all better. Dude, this is LA! We're always on the go anyway ...

It's the best of times and the worst of times. I know without a SHADOOWWW of a doubt that what I did will change the rest of my everything for a very, very, very long time. I did that. I had a goal, and stopped at nothing to accomplish it ... but fuck man, why is it you can meet THOUUSSAANNDDSS of people, and still feel lonely. I am around people ALL DAY irl, and online ... yet, it's not very often that I find people that inspire me, and excite me. They're just all so predictable!!! I don't get it! Do you not understand it is the GREATEST time to be ALIVE!!! Social media changed EVVERRYTHIINNGGGGG!! For reals, marketing is at GROUND ZERO! Entertainment?? HAHA!! Totally going social ... gone are the days on one way TV. Interaction, ftw! I'm LITERALLY watching it with a front row seat all day, everyday ... and holy CRAP it excites me!! Like a lot ... a lot ... a lot ... a lot.

I won't say that there's something missing, because honestly there isn't ... I'm just a perpetual share-er. I don't know how not to explain what I am experiencing to people around me. I make a living doing that ... but intimate relationships have definitely been sacrificed. Even with my parents. I would KILL for a hug from my dad right now, but I'm on the other side of the country ... and the best they can say is, you're doing a great job, daughter! They're kind of at this weird loss for words that, holy crap! you did it - and wow ... these people know who you are? I can't imagine having been in their shoes, but am grateful for the love.

I'm 10 steps ahead because my brain just processes this shit THAT much faster ... and it SUCKS because I want to talk to people about it, and they're so few and far between and spread out all across the world. I have 3 friends that I can actually discuss things in a very candid, fiercely passionate and intellectual nature. My brain just moves too fast man, and I have no interest in sitting around explaining things. I'd rather just put on headphones, dance to the beat, and move on. I don't even have a manual to refer to to see if this is "normal" since, oh yeah! everyone in this space is WRITING the manual upon execution.

bah. bah. bah.

Is this the curse of getting to do what you love everyday? It's terribly isolating. Dude, I'm SOO over people not liking what they do. It's like quit your job, and get out of my face. I did it ... you can do it ... suck it up whiny mc-whinester and put on your big boy pants. Life is yours for the taking. So go get it! ... annndd time is up!

Had a pretty rad date the other night, btw! Not posting on it ... cause, I learned my lesson the last go around. But super awesome dude. Works like 18 hours a day on set of this show on CBS ... so he's also absurdly busy. Mama likes that ... I'm so gonna end up being a cougar. I've always done things ahead of my peers ... can cougars be 26? *sigh*

#Randombling: That Nerdy Chick

Randombling: A 5 minute long unedited random stream of consciousness produced by a nerd for nerds.

#nowplaying: Trust- Eric James & The New Century

*waves* Hello again from the Corner Bakery!! Goodness gracious I get SOO much more work done when I am at coffee shops. I just lose too much track of time when I am at any sort of home base. Super grateful too that again, @maniacalmorgan works for Coffee Bean - so before each work session I get free coffee. HAHA!! I will die milking the system as much as I can, man. Loves it. Dude, I have sooooo much SEO work to do today. I'm gonna fly being this caffeinated. BAHHH!!

Crazy time ... I got the breakdown last night for the lead in the "Talk Nerdy To Me, Lover" pilot. My life rights are tied into it - so I was asked some pretty personal questions before things began and it just got me thinking that it never occurred to me that none of this was normal.

I've never fit in ... anywhere. I was too cute to be a nerd, and too nerdy to be cute. I say that of course as humbly as possible, but incredibly incredibly matter of fact - that as a model, I couldn't have a brain. Kicked ass in sales, but never felt fully satisfied with anything I was doing because I was too young to succeed at something like that so quickly. I know right, *worlds tiniest violin* but it's so true that you can only be so attractive and so smart to succeed in a "normal" environment. Having this super trippy story was prolly the only way I was every going to find personal satisfaction. Which is just such a trip ... Hindsight is always 20/20. It just cut out so much of the bullshit and got things done SOOOO quickly. In LA everyone talks up a big game about, ohhh I can help you with this acting gig, or you know, you need to meet this agent he can do this. I don't have an agency, or a manager - I just have lawyers. That just doesn't happen ... but maybe with social media this is the NEW story ... this is the NEW way to get things done ... just do it yourself! I wasn't waiting for someone to call someone, or for someone to discover me ... I tweeted!!! So nuts ... so so nuts. Seeing it on paper as a character breakdown is even nuttier!!!

Oh la la ... and I'm wearing my sexy boots today. Back when I donated everything, these shoes were stuck under my seat ... so I inadvertently kept them. Super grateful now, cause today I feel sexxyyyyyyy!! RAWRRRR!!

HA! So much of the last year was removing the vanity. I had to figure out who I was aside from the looks department. Dude, I have been a scrubby motherfucker for an entire year. For reals ... for a chick that received so much validation on looks - that was a shift in consciousness. However, super super super grateful for it. I was just always so in my head wondering what other people were thinking about me and yada yada. It was horrible. Dude, being of a certain attractiveness is an INCRREEDDIIBBLLYYYY lonely existence. For reals ... guys I've dated over the years have always said the same thing, "I thought you were out of my league." No wonder why I dated douchey guys, they were the only ones that ever approached me!! Spending the last year wearing the weirdest clothing, almost no makeup taught me so much. Oddly enough the more that I recognized that my awesome was organic, and the less I even cared about my looks at all - the MORE dates I got. I swear to you, I have never been asked out more in my entire life. Every day I get asked out. It's incredible. I'm APPROACHABLE!!! THANKKKK GOOODDDDD!!!!

Speaking of dating, I totally asked a boy out on Facebook the other day and am taking him to this event tonight. Super exciteddddd!! It's actually a big deal. Variety is throwing this shindig downtown with all these comedians ... I'm really excited. This is a boy I met IRL, not on OKC ... thought was cute, and asked out. Period end of sentence. I am sensing some serious growth with my intimacy issues. #SCORE!!!

#Randombling: Cake or Cock

#TalkNerdyToMeLover's @saintpepsi

Randombling: A 5 minute long unedited stream of conciousness produced by a nerd for nerds

#nowplaying: Justice - Genisis

So it's rare when you get your picture randomly drawn. Weirder still to have it then drawn on a cake.  Even more weird to have that picture of you be naked and for a guys birthday cake.

Back story a year or so ago I drew myself naked and just out of the shower pulling hair out of my ass. When you have really long hair sometimes it gets stuck in weird places. Currently my hair gets stuck in my armpits. I know it's really annoying. Anyway that's where this picture came from.

So now a year or so later I get a tweet from my friend @glitchritual saying he ate my dick and that I'm officially famous. I click the link and see this.

So yeah that previous comment made sense. Now why he or a friend of his made me into a cake I really have no idea. I do think that's pretty dog damn awesome that I'm naked in icing. I mean I'd eat me ;).

If you want to see some of @glitchritual  amazing art work click the --> link

Tell Jordan how much you LOOVEED his article on twitter here.