Weird Al Says: #WTF?!

Having blue eyes is actually a mutation. Before the mutation occurred, all humans had brown eyes.

This has been a moment of ... WTF?! 

#NerdsUnite: Tips for calming your nerves before a big date

Hi friends. 

So, last night I had a date. Now mind you, with my level of socialization and serial dating-ness, one would assume so what!!? It's just another one?!!

The problem with this date was the fact that I had actually met this guy before and accidentally had messaged him on OKC not connecting the dots. I was totally blown away by the fact that it was him. 

Either way, I immediately liked this dude when I met him so finding out that he was not only single but also into me sent me on a one way ticket to nervous town. 

<tangent> I get ridiculously clumsy and spacey when I'm nervous btw. I'll keep dropping things, or say something that makes ABSOLUTELY no sense. The awkwardness of youth clearly still lingers. </tangent> 

Here were some tips on how I survived the day ... 

1) Purchase a new outfit for the date. 

There is NOTHING like rocking a new dress or a new outfit for a big date. When you feel like a million bucks IT SHOWS!!! People are naturally more drawn to you and that in and of itself is obviously very appealing on a first date. 

New dress: Check. 

2) Reach out to your social network. 

After I got the dress I then tried it on with at least 10 different sweater combinations. (It's sleeveless on one side and WAY too cold to rock on a night like last night.) Once I had paired the perfect outfit I then sat down on the couch and turned on Kourtney and Khloe Take Miami. 

Yep, not kidding. 

Mindless television, I thought. I just need something to zone out to. 

The only problem though with the ADD brain and nerves is that you CAN'T just "zone out." My eyes were racing to the clock every 5 minutes as I kept finding reasons to get up from the couch. 

I then stared over at my Macbook Pro Retina and wondered if I could post on it. 

I figured this guy would at least check to see if he had been written about either on this site or in my social feeds since I do document dating. Do I run the risk of letting him know that I'm nervous, I wondered. Wouldn't that give him the upper hand in the power dynamic?

Fuck it, I thought. I preach transparency and I preach extreme honesty so I am just going to go with it. 

I then updated my Facebook status to this ... 

What did I get in return? 

Within a matter of seconds comments started POOOUURRRIINNNNGGG in with people offering their advice ... 

Almost immediately my nerves started to calm down having people offer not only their advice but wonderful well wishes for my evening. 

Reaching out to social network: Check 

3) Go to the gym. 

After over an hour of sitting on the couch responding to everything, I then decided it was time to get up and out of the house. I need the gym right now, I thought. I need to lift some weights and get in a SERIOUS cardio kick. There's nothing like getting out of your head and into your body in moments of anxiety. 

I then went to my spin class an hour early and lifted some weights at the gym. 

(also hit a new personal record by leg pressing 179 lbs. jigga jigga jigga!!) 

My gym is famous for their spin classes so for that entire hour my brain was COMPLETELY shut off and I was in a zen state of pain and pleasure. 

My nerves at that point were the LAST thing on my mind so having that time to "breathe" was refreshing. 

Gym: Check. 

Bonus points: I saw Jeff Probst at my gym yesterday. Super short duderino. 

4) Occupy your time with work. 

I'm working on this SUPER cool new startup right now (that I can't talk about but will GUARANTEE the most INSANE adventures for the next foreseeable future. Dudes, I'm staying in a MASSIVE luxury condo in Vegas for CES WITH A FRIGGEN STRIPPER POLE!!!! We are going to throw some epic, epic, parties. More on that in a few though ...), and I had to meet with some people to get their 1099s and copies of IDs. I emailed the group and asked if we could meet up right by the location of my date so that I could be with them working literally right up until I had to go.

Everyone was totally cool with it, and after I got back from the gym, showered, and got ready I was rocking and rolling with some new ideas for the group. 

I then looked down at my watch and I only had 5 minutes to spare before my big date. 

I high fived the team as I collected all the 1099s. 

Thanks for this, I said to the group. 

For the ENTIRE hour I barely thought once about my date. Obviously everyone teased me about being nervous. 

You? One guy said. How are YOU nervous? Shouldn't HE be the nervous one? 

I laughed. 

Occupy time with work: Check. 

I then walked across the street and met my date over by the bar. After my entire afternoon and all those steps I carried myself in a calm, cool, and collected manner. I never once tripped, or said anything stupid (obvi that's subject to interpretation, but to the best of my knowledge). 

And how did the date go? 

That's for me to know, and not write about.

Remember how I said I was working on intimacy? I'm practicing what I'm preaching. =)

See, I learned a lot from my last go round at the rodeo.

Thanks for all the support yesterday nerderinos!! xoxoxo

#thatisall

#NerdsUnite: My name is Alicia and I'm doing 50 dates in 50 states (Minnesota)

<editorsnote> Nerds, meet my buddy Alicia. She's about to embark on a 50 dates in 50 states dating documentary. She's here today to talk about her views on life, love, and all things through her nerdy little eyes. I only have one more thing left to say ... HIT IT ALICIA!! </editorsnote>

#TalkNerdyToMeLover's Alicia Ostarello

To date, no state has done fall like Minnesota. Driving a back-country two-lane highway, Megan and I were in a constant state of crimson, golden and magenta with touches of foresty green. So thick were the trees, we never saw gaps from one to the next unless they were interrupted by a sparkling aquamarine lake. Which, in the not-misnomered “Land of a Thousand Lakes,” was certifiably often. Right before Paul Bunyan’s hometown, Megan and I leapt out of the car to snuggle up with all that autumn.

Also to date, no date has been quite like the Minnesotan I met up with, Carl. Truly midwestern-polite, Carl held doors open, kept conversation neutral and even ran inside to nab napkins when he realized I had spilled coffee over my hand. Once Megan and I determined he was probably not a psychopath, we agreed to let him into Huckleberry Fit (my car) so we could carpool to a hiking spot known for waterfalls: Gooseberry State Park.

Immediately upon entering Huckleberry, Carl’s demeanor changed. He said he often felt super-comfortable with people right away, and went on to incite boisterous conversation about his ex-wife and past girls he’s dated in Duluth, and then became the Grand Inquisitor of My Dating History. From my longest relationship to minute casually date, Carl wanted to know it all. Then with nothing resembling a segue, Carl clapped his hands together and said, “Let’s talk politics!” A loud conversation about the state of the union ensued.

Forty minutes later, I was a bit exhausted and we hadn’t even begun hiking. (Man, I just woke up after a great eight hours of rest and I’m tired after just remembering this date.) Gooseberry was lovely, and Carl never lacked for conversation starters,  topics to ramble about and non-sequitors that tended to lead to TMI. To be fair, he did ask a lot of questions and was more than happy to listen and respond. Just the sheer amount of words being pelted at me was overwhelming for a first date.

My favorite moment of the date was when we were walking across a bridge and noticed a little girl merrily throwing rocks into a barely moving creek. Entranced at just how happy that rock throwing made her, we eventually made our way to the water’s edge and began skipping stones (Carl) and plunking rocks (me) ourselves. The little girl’s grandfather, who had been watching her without much emotion, even got in on the fun, and started throwing the biggest rocks he could find in order to make bigger and bigger splashes.

My second favorite moment of the date was when Carl said he’d always wanted to host or attend a bear party, not realizing that for the most part, those parties are meant for hairy men and the men and women who are interested in hooking up/having sex with them. I warned him that perhaps that would be what he was inviting himself to should he make it to San Francisco.

Before we left Gooseberry, Carl went to the bathroom and Megan asked how I was doing. I realized that somewhere along the hike I had spaced out in my head and started thinking about my ex, with whom I’d gone hiking a few times. And all I really wanted was to be hiking with him and talking about what we’d chat about — things we’d heard on NPR or how the light reflects off different foliage — instead of being present in the moment. But I’m smart enough to know those are just dust bunnies of thoughts stuck in my brain, so I shook them out and continued on with my date — admittedly, with less enthusiasm. Carl talked the whole way home, played us songs from his band and proceeded to ask if we wanted to get dinner. (He had told me he thought Megan might like his roommate and wanted to hook them up). After a polite decline, Megan and I drove back to our hotel in complete, delicious silence.

#nerdsunite

Alicia Ostarello has combined her talents in talking to strangers with degrees in English and Sociology and is currently taking a road trip across the country with one goal in mind: to go on a first date in every single state. Follow her trip and the documentary film being produced about it, 50/50: A Dating Documentary on Facebook at facebook.com/5050ADatingDocumentary.

#NerdsUnite: Hashing it out "Define Creepy" (saintpepsi vs. Ables)

<editorsnote> Nerds, meet my buddy Jordan. He was one of the first writers here on TNTML and he's a really rad mofo. I forget how we first started talking - but he lives allllllll the way over in Kansas and wants to talk to you about life from his side of the monitor in the keyword of nerd. I only have one more thing left to say ... HIT IT JORDAN!! </editorsnote>

#TalkNerdyToMeLover's @SaintPepsi

Welcome to a new collaboration.

Meet Andrew Ables.

We are in many senses very different and yet he has been a part of my life and basically my family since he became friends with my brother Stephen. We hold no animosity for each other yet we can find ourselves in disagreements here and there.

He’s a Player by trade with a smile and body used to percolate a girls senses, he is both abrasive and forth right. Still beyond his well chiseled exterior, is a mind that he has given equal attention to, making him a powerful tool for mischief. Now myself not being um... chiseled from stone; have on occasion pushed him into my general category of dumb jocks. Which I know he isn’t, a man whore kinda. Dumb jock not at all. 

With that being said recently he and I exchanged a talk on Facebook chat after he introduced himself to a friend of mine via third person, which I contend is just bad form. While it was a line from HIMYM it is the job of the wingman to speak this line not the intended. So I called him creepy. This lead to a few lines about the definition of creepy. Something I have written about in the past on this site. Don’t be that dude, “The Creeper.” See he thinks it’s creepier to be a creep in the background with someone never knowing you are doing it, as opposed to being creepy in the open. I am of the other view. Be it in real life on the net I think it’s far more creepy to make it known.  So we have decided to hash it out OPEN BLOG STYLE!!!! So Ables, make your assessment on creepers in the shadows.

Ables:

Here goes, whores get paid, I have not ever been paid for sexual activity, therefore, am not a whore. With that being straightened out, we can now move forward to discuss the art of being creepy, and what makes a “creeper” a creepy dude (or lady). Now, if you get on Facebook, and don’t plan on there being some creepy elements, you’re gonna have a bad time (name that meme). Facebook is completely designed around being creepy, if Facebook were not creepy, there is a good chance no one would be using it right now. Hence the new verb usage “I’m going to go creep on their profile”. This is all a bit misdirected, but it has purpose for my argument, which is simply: Creepy = Unknowning. After all there is nothing to fear but fear itself right? (name that guy). Jordan thinks I am creepy because his friend sang this song (which I watched all the way through mind you), and I commented “Hey, have you met Jordan’s friend Andrew?” Haha funny right? I know, I wrote it. Jordan tells me to stop being creepy...HOW is that creepy? To me, watching you sing your song, and reading your conversation with our mutual friend without you knowing is more creepy than making you aware of my appearance. Well, perhaps my opening (which admittedly sounds like I am hitting on her...but for me, it’s kind of like saying hello..so..yeah) Could I have practiced more couth and been like “oh Jordan, your friend’s song is super cool”, yeah I could have, but you know who says stuff like that? Everyone else in the freaking world. Guess what? I am memorable, people rarely forget who I am. And I am getting off topic again. So, Creepy is directly correlated with how much of the situation you are aware of. Complete understanding of any situation = not creepy. The less you know, the more you fear (which is a dramatic form of creeped), and therefore everyone should get educated and rise up against politicians. Damn, I suck at this staying on task thing.

Jordan:

I will attest to Andrew being very memorable. Still to me the not knowing is far less creepy. He asked me in chat, “Let’s put it into a real life scenario; watching you in the bathroom with you not knowing or watching you in the bathroom after I knocked and came through the door?” I personally would say the person that walked through the door. You won’t ever be creeped out by the unknown. So while the small statement Andrew made as an opening line wasn’t that creepy at all really. I mean he could have said something way worse. Knowing him personally, I know that was a very real probability. Still, he isn’t fully unashamed and so I may have been overzealous in my approach to his sentence. See, I have only ever been creeped out by people I know are fully creeping on me. When someone goes through your whole feed liking everything you have said or done. Going back years sometimes. That will full on freak me out. If they just go through it all and not like or comment on things, especially things going years back. I don’t have to feel freaked out. It’s the knowing that makes you freak out. Finding out that someone has pictures of you lining a room in their basement, will make you second guess your relationship with them. Still if I don’t know I don’t have to be bothered to care about it. In general obviously, girls deal with this way more. I know though of several girls that will haunt the pages of their Ex’s or find a boy they obsess over and follow everything he does. Don’t tell me you don’t start to wonder about the person that somehow always likes everything you do and comments about things you post the second after you post them every time. At first it’s flattering and then you just start to over analyze it. So yes I think the creeper you know, is far creepier than the one you don’t.

Ables:

But everyone does it, you should EXPECT people to creep on you. Also, you are more than likely just as guilty yourself of doing it. How can you scrutinize someone else for doing something you’re just as guilty of? (Minus the “liking” everything..that’s just weird”. Also, in reference to the bathroom thing, if I were in the bathroom with you, any amount of money says your behavior changes. When you feel as though no one is watching you, you’re incredibly vulnerable, anyone who has ever been snuck up on, or caught red handed doing something they don’t do around people, knows this feeling. One time in the dorms, I was looking out the window (like 7 floors up), and I was watching people (because face it, we’re all people watchers..it’s natural), then I got to thinking, how often am I being watched when I can’t tell if someone is watching me? To me, that is creepy. Being on stage = not creepy. Stalker, that stalks you, without you knowing? Creepy. Stalker that you met at a bar one night and won’t leave you alone? Annoying as hell. With all that being said, “creepy” is also directly correlated with how attractive the “creeper” is...creepy and romantic are really not so different.

Jordan:

So true there the line between creepy and romantic is so thin it’s almost microscopic. That’s probably why Facebook is the worst thing ever for getting over a relationship you were fully invested in. So while my actions may change if you are in the bathroom watching me pee. I guess I’ve never really felt vulnerable thinking people could be watching me or catch me unaware. I think recently especially. The amount of cameras and devices constantly monitoring us is crazy. Our cell phones have the ability to track where we are going all the time, people can hack our computers and remote access our webcams and watch us while we sleep. Face it! Anymore the world is watching. I have just grown accustomed to it. I guess that is why the known creep is more distracting than the shadow creep.

So in closing we have all been creepy at some time. Be it from the shadows or openly. The reality is we need to find that happy medium and once we have established a good report with someone then they can see the rest of our creepy aspects and we can see theirs. Let’s face it we all have our obsessions. Our friends and loved ones are just the ones that accept ours and deal with our weirdness.

#nerdsunite

click here to follow Jordan on the twittah!

#NerdsUnite: Ask That Nerdy Chick (I kissed a co-worker on NYE. Now what?)

It is my goal to take a lot of my weird and wonky experiences as a lifecaster and help nerdy peeps out by providing a frank (not shirley) and honest answer to some weird and potentially random questions you may have about life. 

Here is a question I got via email the other day ... 

aaahhhhh!!! The awkward drunken co-work hook up. 

First of all, thanks for reading and thanks for reaching out. Super brave to put yourself out there. 

I worked 9-5s for years and I pretty much made it a rule to never date a co-worker. It's too incestuous and you spend too much time in an intimate setting. Obvi sexual tension and chemistry can't be denied - but it HAS TO HAS TO HAS TO stop at just a friendly flirtation. 

Now that you've gone over the line though, what are your options? 

1) I would be super frank with her. Ask her to coffee (something neutral and no alcohol involved) and say hey, I had so much fun on New Years, thanks again for the hospitality but just wanted to clear the air on something ... 

2) Then, blame it on "where you are in your life." No chick ever wants to hear that she's not your type. Since you work with this person brutal honesty isn't going to fly, so you're going to have to sugar coat it to preserve the relationship. I would say something like, "you're really wonderful and I hope this doesn't affect our friendship. It means a lot to me so thats why I wanted to take this time to clear all this up." As long as you say it with a genuine heart, she's going to believe it and it's not going to be cheesy. (And you SHOULD be genuine and grateful. Dude, you stuck your penis inside of her vagina!!) 

Be super kind, loving, and gentle to her. 

Also, download the app Taxi Magic or put the number for a local taxi cab company in your phone. This will keep you out of trouble next time. 

Got a question? Drop me an email! JenFriel at TalkNerdyToMeLover dot com

ORRRRR you can message me on Facebook and if it's within 140 characters on the twitter!

Best of luck out there nerds!!

xoxo <3 @JenFriel