#ProTip: How to get a ride home in a limo tonight for the price of a cab

Hi nerds, 

Hope everyone is having a very wonderful (and so far) safe New Years Eve. I wanted to share a city tip with ya'll on something that saves my LIFE when I go out. 

Instead of waiting for cabs on notoriously difficult nights like tonight, I instead hail a limo. Here's how I do it. 

1) Walk to a major club or restaurant. (or any place that limos will typically be parked. Use your best judgement.)

2) Approach a waiting limo driver. 

3) Tell him/her where you are going and how many are in your party. 

4) Ask for a ride, and tell him/her you will tip him. 

5) If s/he says yes, get in the vehicle. Do not touch anything, and make sure you have a puke bag if any of your friends are "above and beyond" wasted. 

6) Ask the driver to route to your destination. 

7) When s/he drops you off pay the amount you would pay for a cab. (Add $5 or so extra and ask for a business card if you want to repeat the service. Then make sure you put the number in your cell.) 

Bing bang boom. 

I'm super impatient so things like this save my LIFE! Just make sure you're not a douche, and again be respectful because someone else paid for that service for the evening and you don't want to be an ass. 

Rock on nerderinos!!! Have a very safe and happy New Years!!! 

#thatisall

Click the screenshot to comment on Facebook

#NerdsUnite: The Ramblings of a Raconteuse (A Final Update)

<editorsnote> Nerds, meet my buddy Helenna. We met on twitter not too long ao, and she's totes mcgotes one rad chiquita banana with a flare for all things flair! That's right, Helenna here is what we call an artsy fartsy nerd. She's a poet, into all things dramatic arts, and she's going to come on board to write each week about her love of said drama. Well not like actual drama drama, like some cat fight shit - but you get the idea. I only have one thing left to say ... HIT IT HELENNA!!! </editorsnote>

#TalkNerdyToMeLover's @Helslevy

Happy Holidays everyone! It’s been a long time since I did a blog update, so I thought what better than to do a final “Project Helenna” update as 2012 comes to a close.

It’s now been 244 days since I started “Project Helenna” and I’ve had a lot of triumphs and a number of challenges as well, but I can honestly say that it’s been a success. (As usual, for reference on what this project is: Part One, Part Two, recap one “Feelin’ Sexy”, recap two “I Am Stoked!”), and my last update “Surviving The Cut.” 

As I stated in my last update:

“When I started this project it was all about turning my focus from producing my own work, back to the craft of acting, and to create a “holistically healthy Helenna: mentally, physically, and spiritually, to create the best actor I can be and my best self.” 

So going point by point again….how did I do?

1) Optimum Health and Fitness

Well, thanks to the “My Fitness Pal” app, I lost 8 pounds.  While losing weight wasn’t necessarily my number one focus, it was a great added bonus to eating within my proper caloric daily amount and working out.  My clothes fit better, and I had to give a lot away to GoodWill because they don’t fit at all anymore. I look better on camera and I also feel fantastic.

While my workouts have definitely suffered this past month with the holiday season, I have a good basis for what I’ll be working on in 2013 to get more toned and fit and in that “sexy super heroine” condition that I want to be in.

Another big thing for me is that I cut out caffeine and alcohol.  It is pretty cray-cray that I haven’t had caffeine in over 5 months now and the most alcohol I’ve drank is equivalent to a single glass of wine in all that time, but I have to say that it feels amazing.  I like not having to be dependent on a substance in order to wake up in the morning, and booze was making me feel well…not present. So overall, a big 2 thumbs up on this lifestyle change.

2) Sharpen My Craft

Well, I didn’t take class this past year, and I didn’t do so well with the whole “observing people out in the world – character study thing,”  but I did do a great job of honing in to my “type” even more.  Even saying that is kind of nauseating to me because actors hear that and talk about it all of the time, but it’s so important as a “business owner,” which is what every actor is.

I was recently waiting in the lobby before a Casting Director workshop and was watching all of the people walk into the building.  I felt an instant connection with the people whose “type” I could pinpoint, and felt sort of confused by those that I couldn’t.  Yes, we are all multifaceted people who are not just “one thing” or two or three, but there is something powerful that happens when you feel a familiarity with someone just by looking at them or seeing their mannerisms.

I was thinking a lot about how it helps casting directors, producers, directors etc… when you are easily “box-able” and even just since I cut bangs, the box, or boxes, that I can be put in have become much more clear.  Funny how hair can do that

3) Balance the Mind

I definitely didn’t do my affirmations on as regular enough basis.  I was really diligent for a few weeks and would forget and then restart.  I also didn’t meditate at all really.  Affirmations and meditation are something that I need to focus on in a very real way in 2013.

I did however go to my career coach Barbara Deutsch’s year end workshop called “Complete and Create” and this helped immensely to close off 2012 and jump into 2013 with a fresh start.

4. For Now, Working Only As An Actor

For the most part I stayed true to this and had the privilege of working on a lot of great projects.  By freeing myself of other responsibilities it also helped me prioritize what I really want for my career and my life.  It’s helped some great doors open for me in 2013, and has shown me that my skills as a producer and a “connector” need to be used only on things that I have a strong connection to so that the work feeds me instead of draining me.  Realizing this has been incredibly important for me, and I’ve already lined up some awesome stuff for the coming year.

5. Know What Works For Me

Yup, this has been fantastic.  I was able to clear my head of all of the fog that can often come from the noise of the entertainment industry in LA and get super clear with what I want to achieve in 2013.  This is going to be the best year yet!

#xoxo hels

tweet me at: @helslevy

browse me at: helennasantoslevy.com

email me at: contacthelenna@gmail.com

#NerdsUnite: Ask That Nerdy Chick (What to do when you're at the peak of dating frustration?)

It is my goal for 2012 to take a lot of my weird and wonky experiences as a lifecaster and help nerdy peeps out by providing a frank (not shirley) and honest answer to some weird and potentially random questions you may have about life.

Here is a DM I just got on twitter ... 

Frustrated with your dating life? 

It's cool I've been there before too. 

What do you do to break it? 

Feed your dating pipeline!!!

When I worked in sales I didn't just "wait" for my phone to ring on Monday morning to set my weekly appointments and hope and pray that one of them closed. I worked my ASS off cold calling, researching any leads, and networked. networked. networked. 

How did I do in sales? 

I.KICKED.FUCKING.ASS. 

I didn't wait for my manager to come around and tell me what to do, or who to call. I didn't wait for a client to maybe want to look for me - I PUT MYSELF OUT THERE!!! 

I now take that same mentality to dating. 

I get asked out every.single.day. This doesn't make me special, only awesome, and is a testament to the field work that I do. I make a conscious effort to go out a few nights a week with VERY open energy and sit down and just meet people. Whether it's at a party, bar, if I'm in a group or solo I.am.out.there. I'm not sitting by the phone "hoping" and "waiting" for a guy to call. FTR, this whole notion of a prince charming coming to find you is full of shit. Yes, the universe does work in wonderful ways and will present someone to you when you're ready, but FIRST YOU HAVE TO BE READY!!! Like energy is ALWAYS attracting!! That's a universal CONSTANT!!! What are you doing to switch up your energy?!?! This frustration certainly isn't going to help any. 

And as far as tonight goes? It's NEW YEARS!!!! The BIGGEST party night of the year!!! Put down that carton of Ben and Jerrys and GET YOUR ASS OUT THERE. Grab a friend and GO!! If no one is available - WHO CARES!!!! Show up at a bar and go and MEET PEOPLE!!!! How do you think I wound up getting to know so many people in Los Angeles? I go to parties solo ALL.THE.TIME!!! 

Your life is waiting, and no one is going to ever hand it to you - YOU have to show up and get it.

This is your mission should you choose to accept. 

Got a question? Drop me an email! JenFriel at TalkNerdyToMeLover dot com

ORRRRR you can message me on Facebook and if it's within 140 characters on the twitter!

Best of luck out there nerds!!

xoxo <3 @JenFriel

#NerdsUnite: When is it appropriate to invite a date back to your place?

So, it's Saturday night.

What am I doing?

Watching Celebrity Ghost Stories on Bio and avoiding a guy that I've been texting. 

(It's the Top 25 scariest moments btw and I'm getting my freak freaked!!!) 

Backstory: This guy and I have exchanged a few emails on an online dating site, and finally began texting each other last night. 

His correspondences were quirky and cute. I could tell right off the bat this dude was an insanely free spirit. 

FTR: Like energy doesn't always attract in that type of scenario. I'm a COMPLETELY free spirit and I have never wanted to date someone like me. You need balance when it comes to dating, IMHO. If I'm the free spirit I have to date the dude that is extremely logical and grounded so I have something to come back to. We can't both be flitting about in the air or we'll both just fly apart from each other. I'm not saying it's a complete no to dating artistic types, I'm just saying there has to be an extreme balance. 

Not sure where this dude fit into the spectrum, I figured why not give him a shot! 

Are you free tonight? he texted. 

No, I said. I'm just going to write and get a good night's sleep. I'm still recovering from the holidays. Let's talk tomorrow afternoon, I texted back. 

Then this afternoon, he texted again indicating that he wasn't free but could be free later in the evening if I wanted.

Great, I said. 8 pm. Let's do drinks in Santa Monica. 

His reply was this ... 

I didn't respond back. 

Why? 

BECAUSE IT IS A FIRST DATE!!!

Never ... Never ... Never ... and I truly mean NEVVVEEERRRRRR invite a girl back to your place for a first date. 

In today's societal norms, the "let's grab dinner at a movie at my place" is a very clear indication of sex. Yes, there are certain instances that you might not have enough cash between now and payday and are in a jam, but RESCHEDULE!!!

This dude is very obviously just looking to hook up. 

I'm not mad at it, I've been there too. ::cough cough love me some fuck buddies:: But now? Not so much. 

I'd be slightly less offended even if he just admitted that he wasn't looking for anything other than sex. 

I would have kindly said thanks but no thanks, but to that? I just didn't respond. 

I can hear you all asking now ... but when is it okay to bring a girl back to my place? 

Third date. 

First date should be a drink (coffee if you don't drink). 

Second date should be dinner. Spend some time getting to know the person, ask all the important questions. 

Then on the third date AT THE EARLIEST can you offer to cook at your place and "put on a movie." Obvi, every chick ever will know that "put on a movie" really means "put your hands on me" but as long as she is agreeing to the date, she will know what to expect. 

This is SO not okay!!!! 

This dude is now filed away into the creeper category and will be inserted in my phone with the dreaded contact label: Do Not Answer 

Sad panda.

#thatisall

#WTF: About the last 48 hours ... Can I get a rundown? (macbook pro retina, Aston Martin, monogamy, slave)

Alrite, so I guess I didn't take my own advice and "take it easy" because the last 24-36 hours have been anything but. 

So, I landed on Wednesday and was COMPLETELY exhausted from my trip back east. The holidays in general are so draining with all the activity, the bullshit lines at the airport, and the hassle of trying to figure out how to get from point A to B in a new city. As much as I love DC and LOVE getting to visit my brother and do cool things like have lunch at the Pentagon, my family and I all agreed that that was our last Christmas up there for the next few years. 

<tangent> Two things though about the trip that were kinda funny: 

1) My diamond tears from Monster headphones totally got me in trouble at the Pentagon. 

- The pentagon is a SUPER confusing place, and the heightened tension from wondering if I was "in the right place" causes me to get extremely, extremely edgy. I made it into the Pentagon alrite. I had a lovely lunch with my brother followed by a super fancy pants tour. He was then walking me out and told me to just go back the way that I came and I'd be able to find my way. Not a problem, I said giving him a big hug. I then took off the "visitor escort required" badge they give you and walked out of the pentagon. 

I then put on my diamond tears headphones and put on "Don't Stop The Party" by my future baby daddy Pitbull. I made a left to go out past security followed by two rights which was the EXACT manner in which I entered. 

I then see this guy dressed in civilian clothing motion to me to turn around.

I comply and am IMMEDIATELY grabbed by a security guard. 

MA'AM he shouts, I've been screaming at you. You can't walk this direction. You HAVE to leave down that sidewalk. 

Can I still get to the little tunnel, I ask him? 

He stares at me like I'm an idiot. 

Yes. He says sternly, but you can't go that way unless you have a pass. Do you have a pass? 

No, I say. I'm just leaving. 

He continues to point motioning for me to leave. 

I laugh as I look down at my watch and notice it only took me an hour and a half to get yelled at by someone at the Pentagon. New personal record I think as I crank back up my tunes. 

2) A dude on a TV show that my brother is obsessed with asked me to have his children. True Story. 

My brother and I were sitting around watching some movie over the holidays, and throughout the entire flick my phone kept going off. I finally answered one of the texts and almost spit out my drink. 

What is it, asked my brother? 

Do you watch the show, exwhyzee? 

Yeah, he said, I love it. 

Well, you know the character eniemeanieminiemo? 

Yeah, he said. 

He just asked me to have his children. 

WHAT?! asked my brother grabbing my cell. 

He then read some of his text as he got up to refill his drink. 

Do you think you could ask him for an autograph, he asked? (My brother has NEVER asked me for anyone's autograph before. He's Mr. Washington DC. He could not care LESS!) 

Dude, screw the autograph. Take my phone and just keep texting him! 

I then texted him and warned him that it was my brother and not me. 

The two went back and forth for a bit. The actor even being kind enough to share a photo of him on set filming some movie. 

I then take the phone back and keep texting. 

Thanks for that, I say. He's a big fan of the show. 

Not a problem, he wrote back as we continued to text. 

(This dude and I have been dating for a few months but he kinda annoys me. I'm VERY much a do-er and this guy is all talk. It's EXTREMELY frustrating. I don't get people like that.) 

Either way, cool moment, and definitely gave me LOADS of brownie points with my brother. </tangent> 

After I landed on Wednesday I grabbed a Super Shuttle and headed back home collapsing on the couch as I arrived. 

I'm.

So. 

Tired. 

I then got a Facebook email from my buddy Tim who was in town visiting family. 

We still on for later? he asked. 

See, anytime I'm ever traveling, or anytime you guys are - you can ALWAYS hit me up in social media if you wanna grab a drink. I'm INCREDIBLY grateful for all of you reading, so I make it an UNBELIEVABLE priority in my life to make sure I give you all some of that time back. 

In this moment, however, I was extremely tired. 

Yes, I said. But can we meet for soda and not drinks? I might fall asleep in my beer. 

Not a problem, he said messaging me back. 

We then met up at one of my favorite West Hollywood spots. 

We kicked it for about a half hour before I admitted my exhaustion. 

Dude, I gotta get some sleep, I said. 

We then high fived and hugged as we went on our merry ways. 

Thursday was more of the same. I had a few meetings then had to run a ton of errands. Then at about 7:30 I got hit up by my manager who was having dinner down the street from me. 

Want to come by? he asked. 

Sure, I said. 

<tangent> My manager is a nutso. He's EXTREMELY blunt and radically honest about EVERYTHING. 

This is why we get along so well. </tangent>

Hello, I say greeting him and his friend at the bar. 

I then went into a bit of my back story as my manager had teed me up. 

We then all started talking about relationships and the topic of monogamy came up. 

I don't know if I believe in monogamy, I admitted. 

What do you mean? Asked the guys. 

I meet person after person at bars, parties, really anywhere ... and when I find out they are married I ask the same two questions, "is it what you thought it would be, and are you happy?" 

Most of the people I have talked to have admitted that they're not happy and it's not at all what they expected. 

How can one little ring on a finger suppress our animalistic tendencies? I could totally see myself being in an open marriage. I want my husband to be happy with whatever that means. As long as we are open and communicative during the process I have seen it TREMENDOUSLY heighten the relationships of couples. 

I'm not saying it's the only way to go, and the only way I am going to know is by a first hand experience, but I can say I am very open to it and I have seen FIRST HAND my friends be so much happier because of it. 

Men and women need to feel wanted by the opposite sex so what's wrong with exploring that? It'll keep you on your toes while in the marriage and remind you to never take your partner for granted. 

The men could see my side, but the conversation quickly changed as our super attractive waitress approached. 

Case in point, I thought. 

Then, Friday morning I woke up early and headed to Hollywood for an appointment at ReaniMac.

<tangent> I'm working with this new start up and in my contract I put in that I wanted a new macbook pro retina. See, their new site is HEAVY on graphics and video so it made sense to go for the best in regards to dealing with the visuals. My buddy and the developer that I brought on to the project also got one. 

We were very very very happy campers and Truman is the MAN!!!!!!!!! The dude is a super genius and will answer ALL of your questions while giving you hands down the best deal ever on your devices. He will have my business forever and ever. TRUTH!!! </tangent> 

I spent about an hour at ReaniMac and on our way out the dude funding the site helped me with the computers. 

Where are you parked, he asked? 

I smile. 

I take the city bus, I admitted but I was just going to cab it back so no one tried to rob me. 

He starts laughing. Get in the car. 

He then unlocks his vehicle and it's an Aston Martin. 

Of course this is what you drive, I thought to myself. 

I then struggled to figure out the door handle. 

Where is it?!?! I thought. 

I then bent over and noticed that the handle was actually molded into the vehicle and you had to push one of the corners of it in to get the handle to open. 

So cool, I thought. 

I then get in the car as I am handed the 15" Macbook pro retinas. 

He starts to drive as I laugh at myself and this lifestyle. 

It's Friday morning at 11 am and I am now riding in an Aston Martin with not one, but TWO Macbook Pro retinas on my lap. HOW is this real life?!?!?!? 

I laugh as I compliment him on his ride and thank him for the computers. 

Not a problem, he said. Play around with them and let's talk next week. 

Great, I said getting out of the car and walking into my apartment. 

I then hopped in the shower and got a text from my buddy (the developer that is getting the other macbook pro). 

Are you home, it asked. 

Yes, I texted back from the shower. Come by. 

GREAT!! He texted back. 

I quickly popped out of the shower and got dressed before he arrived. 

He came in more excited than a kid on Christmas.

This is GREAT!!!! It's so pretty!!! 

I know, I said. This project is going to be AWESOME to work on. 

We then talked a bit about next steps for moving forward and then I informed him that unfortunately I had to get going. 

I have a slave coming by at 1:30 and I have to finish getting ready. 
You have a slave coming by? asked my friend. Of COURSE you do, Jen. 

I smiled as I continued to do my hair and put on some make up. 

I then prepped my feet with a freshly painted pedicure and some lotion as I placed on my super sch-exy new shoes. 

My slave then arrived a few minutes later with his hood on. 

<tangent> This is the first slave I had and one of my favorites. He gives the BEST massages and is responsible for getting me into this world in the first place. He's into objectification, humiliation and like me, he is slightly sadistic. </tangent> 

He had emailed me prior reminding him what he was into, but said at the end of the day it was obviously all my call. 

I'm going to ignore you today, I emailed back referencing my new macbook pro retina that was FAR more interesting than dealing with a stupid slave. 

For about the next hour he proceeded to massage my very tired feet. 

I posted about it on Facebook ... 

click the screenshot to read the comments on Facebook

After I was done with the slave I then shooed him away telling him we would speak soon. 

I really want to explore being a better domme, I thought. There have to be classes or something I can take to learn better domination techniques. 

<tangent> Again, NONE of what I do with my slaves is sexual - it's ALLLLLLL psychological. These dudes are all SUPER fancy pants and almost all of them have super important jobs that they want an escape from. It's SO fascinating. </tangent> 

Then, as if the universe heard me, I got an email from a very old dear friend I worked with on a start up back in 2007. 

Don't judge me, said the title of the email. 

This is going to be GREAT, I thought!!! 

I opened up the email and he informed me of this new company he was doing web work for. I've attached the press release, it read. 

I scroll down and in BIIIGGGG bold letters see ... 

SHERI’S RANCH LAUNCHES SEXUAL FANTASY ROLE PLAYING EXPERIENCE WITH “SHERI’S PLAYLAND”

Legal Nevada brothel lets clients live out their fantasies in detail

OMG, I thought reading the email. This is SO spectacular. 

I then notice that one of the fantasies available includes domination. 

YES YES YES!!! I thought!! I can learn from a true domme here!!! This is going to be GREAT!!!! 

I then emailed my buddy back and asked if I could spend a few days there exploring their world in exchange for writing about it. 

Who better to learn from than a domme working at a brothel in FREAKING VEGAS?!?!?! 

Let me see what I can do, replied back my buddy. 

ANNNNDDD NOOOWWW, we wait. 

Actually, I take that back. I really need to go and do laundry. I should get a house slave for this crap. Anyone want to apply? 

#thatisall