#NowPlaying: Pitbull - Don't stop the party

Well HELLOOOO loverbugs, 

I am back from DC, and unexpectedly exhausted. There's something about the holidays, man. You go in with such high expectations and are usually left confused, tired, and emotionally drained. It was incredibly amazing getting to spend so much time with my family but all the going, going, going, surprisingly took its tool. 

On the adventure side of things, I can say that it only took me an hour at the pentagon before I got yelled at for walking into a restricted area, AND I've been dating this actor for a few months and my brother happens to be a big fan so I got to connect them on Christmas eve. Mind you, it was after this actor literally asked if he could impregnate me. 

So weird. 

Lots to talk about. First though, gotta go hit the gym! I am DEEPLY committed to meeting me a good Jewish guy over the next few months. So let's see if it works!!! 

On that note, here is a tune I'm jamming to this morning. 

Dude, I have SUCH an obsession with Pitbull. It's his bald head. I don't know why I am SO attracted to men with bald heads. It's so so sexy. He also has this swagger about him. It's the way he carries himself, and dresses. He oozes sex appeal and it's SO fucking hot. ARRGHHH!!! Calm down hormones. 

#thatisall

Weird Al Says: #WTF?!

If you Google "zerg rush", Google will eat the search page.

This has been a moment of ... WTF?! 

#NerdsUnite: Redefining Myself and Starting a New Path

editorsnote> Nerds, meet my buddy Eric. He is a MAASSTTEERRR social dynamics expert that will be talking about his experiences in the field from both an expert, and experience perspective. He's not just saying "this is how to get the girl" he's here to share his actual life stories and lessons learned from them. I only have one more thing left to say ... HIT IT ERIC !!</editorsnote>

#TalkNerdyToMeLover's @Redolpho

Shit gets real when you're an entrepreneur. I know being an entrepreneur is the hip new thing but there are a lot of times where it sucks a big bag of d%#&s. It is the most challenging endeavor that I have ever done but the reward of owning your life is worth it. This week my social media consultancy is going through some changes. Although my partner and I enjoy working with each other, and plan to work with each other in the future, we are putting the business on hiatus. The decision came shortly after our main client temporarily suspended our contract and after doing our finances, we knew that things were going to change. So after almost a year of 16-24 hour days, one or maybe two days off a month, a couple serious breakdowns, overcoming suicidal depression and investing everything I had, (breath) it's back to the drawing board.

In many ways it feels like leaving a long term relationship. Everyday stayed centric to this thing, it was the first thing that I thought about when I woke up and the last thing that I thought about when I went to bed. I'm cerebral to a fault so my mind has been running non-stop since then. Whose fault this was, what was I going to do and what people would think. I really wanted this business to be a success but it failed. More importantly the question arose, "Did I fail?"

   So I was thinking on this and I realized that I had actually exceeded my goals and real progress had taken place. It was my perspective that was completely wrong, I had not failed but had lost perspective on my original goals. I needed an education and wanted an apprenticeship with the most brilliant business people I could find. My business partner has sold three of her five businesses and one of those sales was in the millions. She is certifiably brilliant. Her husband is also a seasoned entrepreneur and mind blowing to collaborate with. Thinking that my first business was going to be some gigantic success was a little unrealistic, statistically that outcome was very unlikely. I suppose this is the entrepreneur’s naivety. You can't give it your all if you don't believe in it, but sometimes it's just not time yet. I think this where I'm supposed to quote some entrepreneur who failed multiple times before succeeding, like the KFC dude.

What I see myself do so often is set realistic goals at the beginning of something, and lose sight of those during the process, forgetting why I'm doing what I'm doing in the first place. I wanted the business to succeed, but first and foremost I was there to get an education. Now the question is what I'm going to do with that education. My life would be amiss, and all my work for personal growth for nothing, if I didn't make it to the next chapter.

The next chapter for me, right now, is true independence. Ending my search for validation was a big step in this process. I realize now that our lifetimes are a series of two decisions, fear or growth and rest or work. Philosophy professor Louis Mackey of the University of Texas, explains what I mean better than myself in one of my favorite all time movies, Waking Life.

fear or laziness from Aira Vijay on Vimeo.

Moments of great change always come with uncertainty and fear. I'm face to face with that fear right now. I'm charting out into this unknown place of uncertainty and I'm definitely scared. Being an entrepreneur is scary, like insanely scary. The scariest part is that I don't really know what I'm doing. Do we ever truly know what we're doing though? I don't think so, to me, life is a series of educated guesses. We hope for the best but the factual certitude of common knowledge is illusory, no one can predict the future.

Also similar to a relationship, this is a big point of redefinition for me. I'm reaching inward to define what true independence means. As an entrepreneur at the conception of a new project I'm building this one exactly how I want it. I have my desired outcomes lined up and they're not traditional. 2013 is going to be my year of true independence. It's going to be my year of traveling. I'm very excited to get started and only have a couple more days until I wrap up things with my past until I can fully dive into my future.

L'chaim,

Eric

FYI I am pretty sure that Lennon never said this but I liked the meme nonetheless.

#thatisall

If you’d like to share your stories please feel free to tweet me at @redolpho or email me at eric dot rudolph dot carrillo at gmail dot com

#RealDeal: Dude, Your Attitude Sucks

<editorsnote> Jordan is a dating coach. But not like "a" dating coach ... lemme rephrase that, he is THE dating coach. He has a show on SiriusXM called "Game On" and he's a super smarty pants when it comes to examining social dynamics. No ... like for real. </editorsnote>

#TalkNerdyToMeLover's Jordan Harbinger

I see people get upset with themselves all the time. I've seen quitters in all aspects of life. Your attitude is going to have a major impact on your changes. If you have a great attitude about your progress, you’ll go far. If you don’t and you’re mad at the world and think that everyone is out to get you, it’s going to be hard to channel that the right way to see the proper results.

I personally think that with the right focus, anger can be used as a motivator. Anger and frustration can be used as fuel to move you in a certain direction and can challenge you to do better. The problem with that fuel is that it can easily devour you if you’re not careful. Focusing on the negative all the time can distract you from seeing the small victories. You will need to see these victories to have motivation to continue to grow. Don’t let negativity consume you and drag you down further into a hole that you will not be able climb out of.

Being pissed at the world, your family, ex-girlfriend or even yourself is not a way to enter a transformation. Drop the baggage. With the right outlook success can be yours for the taking. You pretty much have to love your family unconditionally so do it. That does not mean you have to adopt their beliefs or philosophies. You make your own. Forget your ex-girlfriend, thinking about her is only going to cause you to pine for her and ask questions you don’t have the answers to. More importantly let’s start with you. You are going to have to forgive yourself for any wrong doing so you can begin to move forward.

Beating yourself up is never the answer. We all make mistakes. It’s called being a human being. I have seen guys never forgive themselves for the smallest things. So what, you failed to realize some girl liked you or tried to impress a woman and ended up embarrassing yourself. It’s going to happen and again and again. It is called feedback. Learn from it. You need to make mistakes sometimes so that you can learn.

You want to have people around you who will support you in your journey. Being angry and negative is not going to bring anyone close other than people who are in the same place you are in. What you put out there is going to come right back at you.

Try focusing on yourself and the people closest to you. Is there anything you can do to help their world? Think about how you can have an exciting fun day. Set up a reward system to help yourself focus on goals. Make sure to keep the goals small and obtainable.

Remember to smile and focus on the positive. If you need to reflect on the negative, remember to take away a learning experience.

#nerdsunite

Jordan Harbinger is a Wall Street lawyer turned Social Dynamics expert and coach.  He is the owner and co-founder of The Art of Charm, a dating and relationships coaching company.  If you dig this and want to learn more from Jordan and The Art of Charm team, then visit http://www.theartofcharm.com.  You can also interact with Jordan on Facebook.

#NerdsUnite: My name is Alicia and I'm doing 50 dates in 50 states (South Dakota)

<editorsnote> Nerds, meet my buddy Alicia. She's about to embark on a 50 dates in 50 states dating documentary. She's here today to talk about her views on life, love, and all things through her nerdy little eyes. I only have one more thing left to say ... HIT IT ALICIA!! </editorsnote>

#TalkNerdyToMeLover's Alicia Ostarello

I’ve said it before and I’ll keep on saying it until y’all believe me: dinosaurs make great first date fodder! In South Dakota, I went on my second first date that had a dino-centric theme. Perhaps what I’m learning already is that dinosaurs are sexy anywhere in the country (or at least in the west).

A mild moment of anxiety whiplashed through my head as I drove toward the Dinosaur Walk, an 80 year old park made up of “life-size” dinos, in Rapid City. I wrenched open the visor mirror while driving across four lanes of traffic to double check that my makeup didn’t look like I’d been beaten by a bear recently. All the while, Megan was gripping her “Holy smokes” handle above her head for dear life and holding a camera up, asking me to describe how I felt and why. Instead of answering, I looked out the window at the swing set we were driving by, wondering why I was about to go on a date with a near-stranger instead of swishing my legs back and forth for a few moments of airborne freedom.

Mouth: dry. Palms: sweaty. Sweater: oh yeah, sweaty too. Hair: kind of frizzing out. Rest of myself: really in need of being under control. Great.

My best recipe for wiping out wildly out of control nerves is to start talking like I’ve just been handed a vocabulary about anything that comes to mind. After saying hello and shaking hands to my date, Ben, we took a flight of stairs to the first dinosaur, where I made out the tail of the creature to be a Jurassic hammock.

Jokes came out of my mouth about picking dinosaur noses and soon I was looking for “bats in the cave” on T. Rex, Brontosaurus, and some dino that looked like Boba Fett. Ben, also likely rather nervous, made a “look at the size of his wenis” joke and managed to scare two children regarding how tasty they looked to the fearfully great beast. We eventually moseyed downtown to pick the noses of the presidents (all are represented in statue form on the street corners), compare shoe sizes and grab a beer.

Ben, already very sweet, endeared me to him twice over: first when he responded to a text from his mom, who had checked in to make sure he hadn’t been smuggled away by pirates. Second, by pretending not to notice that our waitress was hot beyond all reason in a Britney Spears “Baby, One More Time” inspired outfit, complete with ripped abs and a jangly navel piercing.

By this point, my nervousness had worn off and I was instead simply enjoying myself. Flirting a little, but letting the conversation tangent forward and backward, diagonal and cockeyed. Existential chit-chat, nerdy jokes about numbers and literature, discussing mortality, waxing poetic about life, comparing the brain to the most complex of electrical systems, shamefully telling stories of mean things we’ve said to others and how it made us feel.

We walked to his car — evidence of his anxiousness about our date was evident in the fact that he’d left his windows down and doors unlocked. South Dakota’s adorableness was noted in the fact that no one had broken into his automobile. Hugs were exchanged, doors were shut, He lit a cigarette; , Megan and I put NPR on.

Oddly, this was the first date that has felt like a real date. A bit unsteady to begin, followed by finding conversational footing, then off and running with rapport, and an uncertain goodbye. Everyone else, I have either known too much or too little about, so our dates have felt blind or a bit more second date-ish.

Reminder to self: nerves are a good thing. Right up there with dinosaurs.

#nerdsunite

Alicia Ostarello has combined her talents in talking to strangers with degrees in English and Sociology and is currently taking a road trip across the country with one goal in mind: to go on a first date in every single state. Follow her trip and the documentary film being produced about it, 50/50: A Dating Documentary on Facebook at facebook.com/5050ADatingDocumentary.