#RealDeal: So, My Date Got Drugged ...

<editorsnote> Nerds, meet my buddy Eric. He is a MAASSTTEERRR social dynamics expert that will be talking about his experiences in the field from both an expert, and experience perspective. He's not just saying "this is how to get the girl" he's here to share his actual life stories and lessons learned from them. I only have one more thing left to say ... HIT IT ERIC !!</editorsnote>

#TalkNerdyToMeLover's @Redolpho

I've heard plenty of stories about girls getting drugged but I've never had a first-hand encounter until Sunday. I had just met the girl during Jen and I's first Workshop #2, which was phenomenal. The guys did so well; one got the bartenders phone number and another, who's the quintessential nerd and not the modern hipper version, had a girl buy an unsolicited drink for him. Since he was brave enough to share with us that he had literally zero friends I knew how much that drink meant to him. The smile on his face really said it all.

<tangent>The guy who got the bartenders phone number is a first generation immigrant from India and computer science major. Prior to taking our workshop he had a total of four dates for the whole year, and since taking our workshop he's had over twenty. Just goes to show that common knowledge and stereotypes are illusory, anyone can do this.</tangent>

I met the girl for drinks in West LA on Sunday. The date was starting out awesome. I found out she's bisexual-I love women who love women-and she's soooo fun. We left our drinks and stepped outside for a cigarette. Turns out this was a bad idea, cause I'm about positive that this is when her drink was drugged. While outside she challenged me to a game of penis, you know the one where each person says penis louder than the next until someone gets uncomfortable. At the climax of us both shouting penis at the top of our lungs a couple guys at the coffee bean across the street joined in. They then shouted back, "Does she want your penis?" I looked back at her for an answer and she smiled and nodded yes, #sweetness. After we finished our drinks, and now in an adventurous mood, we felt it was time for a change of scenery. We hopped a cab to Santa Monica where my friends host a regular karaoke night. We took a few shots at the bar and stepped out to the patio. At the time, I thought she was just getting drunk quickly as we started to make out. She kept pulling me back, giving me the sexy eyes and then grinding her forehead into my face. She was wearing extensions that night and the clips were starting to fall out leaving chunks of hair dangling sloppily off her head. It was pretty funny before I found out it was the drugs. After seeing that she was pretty inebriated, and since it was getting late, I grabbed her a cab and sent her home.

Turns out that when she got back she couldn't make it to her front door and was paralyzed on the front lawn. I received a few straight forward texts in response to me requesting a confirmation that she got home ok. It turns out that those texts were from the cops that had been called in response to her yelling for her mom from the front lawn. She was piss tested and t confirmed that she had indeed been drugged.

I woke up the next morning to texts from her telling me about her experience after leaving me and had mixed feelings. I felt violated and slightly ashamed for my responsibility in not taking basic precautions for her safety. I felt bad for thinking her drunkenness, as I thought it was at the time, was pretty funny. Mostly though I was relieved that she got home safely because the night could have ended much much worse. Protect yourself ladies, we were at a relatively posh bar and both of us were surprised that it happened there.

That's all for now friends. 

In other news, I'M LOOKING FOR AN INTERN...

You'll be working directly with me to develop our social dynamics workshops. It's a non-paid internship but the perks will make this perfect for the right person. You'll have the option to work at my office near Abbott Kinney and Venice beach or from home (some days will require you to be in Venice), access to all the workshop materials, free admittance to all three workshops, and personal coaching from me. The hours are flexible as I work almost all the time. The work will consist of helping me develop the workshop course materials mostly but there will be more work after. I'm looking for someone with the ability to write with good grammar and access to a laptop is required; it would be preferred that you had some basic photoshop skills and understanding of Wordpress. You do not need any knowledge of social dynamics, just a great attitude and desire to learn.

#thatisall

If you’d like to share your stories please feel free to tweet me at @redolpho or email me at eric dot rudolph dot carrillo at gmail dot com

#NerdsUnite: The Gospel According to John (to trim or not to trim? that is the question)

<editorsnote> Nerds, you may already know my buddy John as "Confessions of a Video Game Journalist" but what you DON'T know el senor John is that not only does he also help out as TNTML's intern, he is hands down one of the wisest people I have ever met. For reals, you need to grab a beer with this guy at some point in your life. The things that come out of his mouth ... wowzah! I decided he needs a special column devoted to his wisdom - and now here it is. The gospel according to John. I only have one more thing left to say ... HIT IT JOHN !!</editorsnote>

Question this week: Does pubic hair really matter to men and if so what is the preferred grooming method?

This…is a dicey question for every male to answer because it’s such a two-way street when it comes to this kind of thing. A guy can’t really ask for a specific thing or style here without offering to do the same for his partner, or vice versa so this relies heavily on communication.

I know a lot of guys who want the completely shaven look, partially because of the porn industry and it’s fascination with the fad. They may have their own reasons but that’s their business. I find several problems arise when this is the preferred method for the man in the relationship.

I know many girls who feel like having the completely shaven look makes them feel like they’re a little girl and not a woman, and it unnerves them to think that a grown man could want that. I can understand that feeling. I’m also sure that, if they don’t feel that particular way about it, it’s a lot of work and also probably painful for some.

Then we get into the wonderful world of style in this area and quite frankly I can’t take this question serious enough to describe each and every style of grooming down there. Suffice it to say that if you’re really interested in learning about this, there’s the wide world of the internet to inform you on all of the lovely styles.

I’ve heard dozens of guys complain about doing it themselves for their own personal preference. The most colloquial term is “trimming the banzai tree” which I find hilarious and probably apt for anybody doing this sort of thing. So, I get it, doing this sort of thing is a long process, it’s hard to do and often times painful.

I’m going to be honest with you; this is an entirely subjective subject to personal preference between both parties. What I am going to say is you should really talk about this thing if it is a huge deal for you. If what is going on down there is so distracting to you that you can’t do your business, maybe you’re focusing on the wrong thing?

Regardless, it really shouldn’t matter what’s going on down there. Think about it. We probably only started doing something like this because someone somewhere got self-conscious about how they looked and decided to change it up. Just like Adam and Eve putting on clothes.

If you feel weird or feel like your business is not the best looking thing, that’s on you and you can do whatever you want to it. It’s your body. If you’re doing something because your partner told you to do it, then that might not be the best reason.

However, if you don’t have a problem shaving down there or grooming down there, then by all means, do something that your partner likes or that you feel comfortable with. It’s just like doing your hair or putting on make-up if you think about it. Just remember that it is your body and you can choose to do with it what you will.

There is no preferred method, there is no right way to g0 about it and there is no law or rule for this. There’s a flavor of ice cream for each person and there’s the kind of ice cream that people feel good about scooping out. You just got to find the right person who will scoop your flavor, if that makes sense to you.

#nerdsunite

Want more from John? Click here to follow him on the twitter!

Check out his gaming site too!

#NerdsUnite: My name is Alicia and I'm doing 50 dates in 50 states (Washington Date 1)

<editorsnote> Nerds, meet my buddy Alicia. She's about to embark on a 50 dates in 50 states dating documentary. She's here today to talk about her views on life, love, and all things through her nerdy little eyes. I only have one more thing left to say ... HIT IT ALICIA!! </editorsnote>

#TalkNerdyToMeLover's Alicia Ostarello

Fine, I admit it. I have a hard time making decisions between two exceptional choices. So with only one day in Seattle and two really nice potential dates from How About We, I couldn’t play “eenie-meenie-miney-moe” like I did when I was a child — I went out with both!

Up first, Nitin. Props to a guy who will wake up early for a first date — he agreed to go stand-up paddleboarding with me on Lake Washington at 10 AM.  Since you don’t really need a lesson to start SUP — you can simply rent the board and away you go — I figured the sport couldn’t be as challenging as say, riding a broomstick. I assumed a little wrong. Luckily, our rental purveyors gave a three-minute lesson on the grass, which meant at least we were able to learn the basics.

The basics: you will fall in. Oh, and start on your knees.

A few paddle suggestions later and we were off, wondering exactly how anyone managed to stand up. The man paddling ahead of me attempted a jump-to-stand maneuver. Bad. Decision. In he went. Concerned I would hit the lake after having known Nitin for a mere 10 minutes, I practiced paddling on my knees a bit more before getting the guts to stand — one foot at a time, at Nitin’s prodding.

Twenty minutes later we’d both hit the water. Twenty minutes after that we’d both hit the water again. Yeah, you will fall in for sure.

When we weren’t dog paddling about and trying to hoist ourselves up onto our boards again, Nitin shared with me that he underwent a change in his life this year: he started eating healthy and running. In addition to his body and endurance being made over, his priorities have, too. His efforts were recognized by his company — he’d just received a surprise award two days earlier at work. He was still reeling from the joyous aftermath: a slew of congratulatory emails, nice comments, and handshakes from coworkers.

It was interesting to be on a first date amidst this sort of experience. Nitin was, for maybe the first time ever, getting used to the idea of being someone worth looking up to. This made me wonder: What it’s like to date when you’re a different physical person in a new mental space and you’re still coming to terms with you?

Nitin was a catch, even if he wasn’t quite used to what that feels like yet.

#nerdsunite

Alicia Ostarello has combined her talents in talking to strangers with degrees in English and Sociology and is currently taking a road trip across the country with one goal in mind: to go on a first date in every single state. Follow her trip and the documentary film being produced about it, 50/50: A Dating Documentary on Facebook at facebook.com/5050ADatingDocumentary.

#StatusUpdate: Just setting the record straight ...

SOOOO ... I just got this text this evening from my very dear friend @checkoutamanda ... 

I'm just absolutely absolutely absolutely setting the record straight that yes, I fell in love over the summer, but the dude made it ABUNDANTLY clear that that dynamic would never occur. I'm very genuinely not mad at it (I'm actually grateful he taught me how to "feel" again) but just to clarify for anyone else that may or may not be interested in setting me up with someone - my answer is YES!!! I am for the first time in at least 6 years without a friends with benefits, an ex that I still hook up with, nada. I'm single. single. single. could not BE more single, sans any attachment and looking for a dude (hopefully) in Los Angeles. 

I'm so fucking sick of dating to be honest, man. Everything in my soul is telling me to just throw myself into work - THAT I am good at. It's disenchanting dealing with scene after scene and guy after guy. I stare at them for 15 seconds and know within the first TEN MINUTES if there can be a second date. I sound like a bitch, but i will just own my honesty. I'm crazy good at reading people, and I know what I want and don't believe in wasting people's time, nor settling. 

Focus Friel ... work work work. Keep your head down, work hard and let the rest fall into place. 

This is the mantra I am telling myself. 

I hope it works. 

Excuse me, but I have a song that I need to host a solo dance party to right about ... now ... 

#thatisall

#NowPlaying: Levels - Avicii

What’s up homeslices? Pretty quiet weekend over here on my end. Had an awesome Shabbat dinner with a buddy of mine on Friday. (I’m not Jewish but I always end up with Jewish friends after having grown up in an all Jewish town.) I’m finally tearing myself away from this apartment and from www.partycasino.com. Dudes, I’m not a gambler at all but damn you mega fortune wheel!! ::smf::

Either way, I’m finishing getting ready to head out right now to live out my alter ego lifestyle from Stunner of the Month.

<tangent> Stunner of the month is a subscription based sunglasses service delivering not only the super outrageous glasses to you once a month but a pretty gnarly story to go with. </tangent>

This month I got “The Boca” glasses. Here is my alter ego:

“Upon graduation, you decide the fastest way to retirement is to declare it immediately. You more to Florida and live a life of leisure. Others soon follow your “pre-tirement” example. Your lifestyle is famous among the community, distinguished by the stunners you wear everyday: The Bocas!!

How fabulous and RIDICULOUSLY perfect is that?!

My buddy Sean hit me up last night on twitter letting me know he was in town, so now we are both headed over to the Beverly Hills Hotel to portray this alter ego and see what random adventures occur from it, and how many people we can make COMPLETELY uncomfortable. I’m pretty excited … then again, when aren’t I excited? Quiet Friel.

Also, my latest and greatest is up on Suicide Girls. In it I talk about how being a domme with 6 slaves is helping me as an entrepreneur. Click here to read the post.

On that note, I gotta finish getting ready. Time to be fucking fabulous and VIVA LA BOCA!!!!!!! Hope you all had a loverly weekend, and here is a song to keep your Sunday Funday alive and well. 

#love