<editorsnote>Hi, I'm Jen Friel, and we here at TNTML examine the lives of nerds outside of the basements and into the social media, and dating world. We have over 75 peeps that write about their life in real time. (Real nerds, real time, real deal.) Sit back, relax, and enjoy some of the stories!!</editorsnote>
Whomp whomp! So, tomorrow (or today for some of you), I am going to be doing a wholllleeee extra level of lifecasting in the form of Live Tweet Tuesday.
What is Live Tweet Tuesday you ask?? Well looky looky what I have here from their twitter bio!
Live Tweet Tuesday is an event where one person live tweets their Tuesday. The more mundane the better. LTT is a creation of @geoffisfamous and @eblarden.
So, basically I tweet out my day. Which I kinda do anyway, but maybe a smidgen more frequently. High-LARRRIOUUSSS because tomorrow I have the. most. epic. day. ever. with us moving into our new office space in LITERALLY a SUPPEERRR FAMOUS and LEGENDARY place. Like, for reals - yallz are gonna pee yo' damn pants when you hear where we are moving into. ::Evil laugh:: mwaahahahaahaha
Then, in the afternoon I have an interview on a podcast topped off with a date. I never honestly realized it, but I have a pretty busy schedule. That sounds like a lot, and it is - but it's funny when for the first time you become aware of something. So yeah! More tweets coming at you in a bit, it starts at midnight and goes til I fall asleep. Am up at 8am - so you get the idea.
Going to be fun! Super stoked and honored to be a part of this! Thanks so so much dudes!!!
K ... first off, this is a response post. First, view the original here. It's kosher ... I'll wait right here. Doop dee doo. Blah blee blah.
Awesome, back? Cool! I feel for Jen. I really do. I popped on FB chat when I read what she wrote to make sure she was alrite.
I'm weird. I'm different. But I make no mistake about what I want, and going after getting it. I CAN'T talk to Jen a lot. It's lifecasting ... this is my life, that is hers. It's rad! You all were complaining over and over that I was bitching so much about being single and going against the family grain, that I found a chica that chose that life - and offered her a platform to speak out on about it. I can't hold hands, and I can't say "good job!" That's not lifecasting. It's only first hand reporting on what you are experiencing in real time. Don't like my bitching? Awesome! Check out the shoe being on the other foot, and see if the grass is any greener.
I never felt accepted or part of anything in my entire life. True story, growing up - I was a TOTAL black sheep. In high school, I never had a clique - I was friendly with everyone, which is kind of weird because you never really feel "accepted," you're just sort of there. I went through a lot of best friends growing up, and wound up being a complete loner. I had to learn how to amuse myself, and survived by going on a series of little adventures. Get it? I got older, I never grew up. I'm still that same person. However, the only difference is, is that I created an entirely new mold.
Since I didn't fit in anywhere, I took literally all of the weird shit that I enjoyed, broke it all down, and created a website. By putting myself out there, it built a community of weird ass like minded people. (Remember there being only 9 different types of people in this world? I'm not special, only awesome.) I knew how to manipulate things though online to attract the people exactly like me.
That is what lifecasting is about Jen. Creating your own mold, and OWNING IT! Who are you? I shouldn't have to tell you that. Nor should you ever turn to me and ask! I understand that because this is my brand, things might look different for you ... but its not! Respect that I will manage the brand accordingly and tell you when things aren't working.
I had asked Jen a little while back to create her own tumblr account to just vent thoughts on, that way she wasn't blocked creatively from being afraid to say certain things ... even about me ... dude, you can't offend me! Go at it! Let it out! RAWWRRRR!!!!
I can't tell you if you're ever on the right track, I can only say that if you have to ask me, you're on the wrong train. Does this sound nuts? Prolly! But I know it works. I don't know much in this world, but that I DO know ... and people are attracted to it.
I've asked Jen to just take a breather for a bit, and said this was by no means a "punishment" or anything weird for reaching out. It was more a matter of catching your breath, or checking your prescription glasses. I won't settle for crap on this site, and I recognize in her state, she's going to keep swimming in a circle not knowing how to get out, and frankly, I have no idea what to tell her. But I do know that the mind is phenomenally powerful, and when Jen finds her creative inspiration and lets out a few of those blocks - it's gonna be itchin to be bitchin.
We all love you Jen! We'd never think of you as being "ill fitting" or "different." We're a community BASED on being different.
You just have to own it, babe! There is no good or bad, up or down, left or right ... only is and is not.
Here ... I have a song for you:
K .... now back to being balls deep in SEO ... ARRGHHHH!!!
I sincerely question every day if this community is completely psychotic or the most FANTASTICALLY FUCKING AWESOME THING ON THE PLLAANNNNEETTTTTT!!!
Omg, I'm having such a good morning. First off, can I just say that it is like 75 and GORRRGEEOUUUSSSS in southern California. For reals ... look at this face ....
Sunshine. Sunshine. Sunshine. Jen = happy happy happy camper.
Alrite, so here's whats up ... I'm not only lifecasting myself, but I have to manage this community AND try to write some sort of manual for the shit that I do.
Lifecasting is a skill. Someone just said to me the other day that I can turn a peanut butter and jelly sandwich into a 5 star meal with my imagination. I have lots of adventures, and I tell good stories. That only happens because I THROOOOWWWWWWWWWWW myself at the world all day everyday. I have no fear. No like literally, I cannot have fear - or you guys would call me out on it. At the same time, it took a solid YEARRRR for me to get to that place, and furthermore its a constant evolution. In a year I'll look back and say wow, can't believe I didn't see this ... blah blah blah.
I knew @JenSquard was stuck in a rut. I didn't know how to tell her, because again, I am learning how to manage lifecasters ... but I am a producer at heart, and I could FEEL that I was only getting 1/10th of the situation going on in her head. Mama no likey that. Here at TNTML it's go big or go home ... radical honesty or bust. The reason isn't for exploitation or any sort of sensationalism ... its because in these places of uncomfort come TREMENDOUS growth. Dude, I am very literally a NEW person. 1 year. It took me ONE year. I lifecasted for a while prior, when I worked for livevideo ... and didn't get HALF of what I've experienced doing it this way. I live in a constant state of uncomfort. Most times in the very physical sense as I am still couch surfing ... hahaha! But for reals, I grew because of the discomfort, and I now need to be able to translate to others how they can do that as well.
I know THROUGH AND THROUGH Jen is awesome ... but she has to see that herself. I was shocked to read that she feels like shes an outsider and what not. Literally shocked! Had no idea! Didn't feel that way at all about her.
My maternal instincts wanted to hug her, while the producer in me wants to sit and watch her exposed. Is that sick and twisted? Or where true art can be found?
I specifically limit a lot of my interactions with Jen. I don't want her leaning on me because I want her to explore in her own space and not just be a "Jen Friel clone." Dude, that would be so effin boring, I'd shoot myself. I don't want to watch that. I push people because I recognize the growth that is available on the other side of the fence. It's not easy ... its hard, its so hard - but keep walking the path. It's SO worth it.
Jen your next mission is to tell us all your fears. Literally ... write them out in a post. You can do one fear a day, whatever ... I don't know how long these things take to address. But I'm pretty sure you have more than a few off the top of your head. That's what I want! So give it up, beyyoootttchhh!!!
Look at this face ... I black out when I am exposed to heights. In this video I scooted out of a plane. Not even jumped ... SCOOTED!!! ... I HAD MY LEGS DANGLING OUTSIDE OF A MOTHER FUCKING PLANE. Get it?
I get a lot of emails, tweets, and general messages on unidentified platforms anytime I seem "off." It makes me smile, realizing that I am doing my job. My job as a lifecaster is to be able to tell a story across social media in real time, while putting all of the pieces together on this blessed little website enabling you to live vicariously through my eyes. That's it.
I don't ever judge things as being good or bad. Some days I have higher energy days than others ... usually pretty dependent upon the amount of Diet Dr. Pepper I've been chugging ... but other than that, it has nothing to do with you. I appreciate your support, but I say as humbly as possible that it defeats the purpose of the experiment. It's real life, in real time peppered with nothing but real and raw emotions. For me, it keeps me sane and creates accountability for the thoughts in my head ... but again, it has nothing to do with you. I appreciate you all reading, and if you can take something away from it - AWESOME! But I'd still be doing it anyway. There really is no "good" or "bad" day in my world; I am just grateful that there is a day to even associate with. Yay the sun for rising today! Good job, beyotch!
For as extroverted as I am, I am definitely equally introverted. I just do my own thing. I have no idea the psychological ramifications of that decision, but I dig it - so I'm just going to go with it. I like processing these thoughts in my brain free of others. I spent my entire life doing everything I was told, and appeasing others. I'm done. I'm done. I'm done. I'm over it. Again, its either the craziest thing I've ever done - or the sanest. I'm still conducting the social experiment, so I dunno. I can say though, its looking pretty good.
I just don't find people that often that I can relate to on an emotional level. It sucks actually, a lot. Dude, I'm just a weirdo Deniro that I can meet anyone, anywhere, and find like ground ... but when it comes to a solid connection, those are few and far between. People are attracted to your energy when you're doing your own thing - but it sucks because you have to weed through hundreds to find 1 that you click with.
I can be in a room filled with 100 people wanting to talk to you, but sometimes I just don't have anything to say back. It's an energy thing. You can feel when it resonates, and when it doesn't - I'm done. I just walk away. It's that whole no attachment thing, can rub a LOT of people the wrong way.
It's just part of the job that I signed up for. I make no excuses for it, but just try to explain how I am processing it all. Thanks again for the messages though - I do read them.
Omg what a weird weird weird night. So first, I went to go kick it at Dillons with my buddy Brandon ... whoooooo is amazeballs. For reals, I love this dude. Had it not been him who found this blessed little website and invited me to host a screening of Hot Tub Time Machine - my life would be very very very different right now. Rad dude, thanks again for the beer.
Went back to the house, and read through the latest draft of the pilot script. We had a conference call with the Hollywood god yesterday afternoon, and now have a face to face iRL get together with the whole team this week. SO FUCKING RADD BAHHH!!!
Got done with the script around 10, totally got hit up on Facebook by my buddy Blair, who said he wanted to go to Happy Endings - I was all OMG that's my pllllaacceeeeeeeeeeee. Let's kick it.
Walked in by my lonesome, since he was coming from somewhere in the inland empire .... translation: the middle of butt fuck.
Sat down by the bar, and literally within 20 seconds this dude came up to me. He goes, there is no WAY you are here by yourself. I explained to him that my friends were en route, but yeah! For now ... he decided to keep me company. His name is Joe, and he liked my Spirithood ...
Him: Sooooo what do you do Jen?
Me: Well, I run a website.
Him: What's the website about?
Me: Sex, tech, and other nerdy things.
Him: So do you review things? What do you mean?
Me: No - I'm a lifecaster. I only review something if I have a first hand experience with it ... but other than that I just broadcast my life, and travel around hanging out with friends of the site.
Him: That sounds so awesome.
Me: It is - unapologetically.
BWAHAHA!! This kid was suchhhhh a trip. He's like these are the best answers EVER! Then he asked me out to dinner, which I gave him my number and told him to call. He goes, girls in this town are just so flakey and blah blah blah. I was like dude, life is reflective. I don't meet flakes, because I'm not one. He thought about it for a sec and let it register ... then proceeded to smile and nod.
Then my buddy Blair came up and was wearing the COOLEST shirt on the planet ...
We started talking about projects that we were working on ... what apps were rocking our world, and why ... you know, standard Friday night nerd shit. Then upon hearing for the 100th time that it is the GREATEST TIME TO BE ALIVE ... he goes lemme guess your fav viral video - Jessica's daily affirmations?
I laughed and said that I loved it, but in fact The New Dork was my favorite. He said he had never heard of it, so I proceeded to take out my Droid, and noise cancelling headphones ....
Um yeah. AMAZING!
THENNNNNN!! Out of the TOTAL blue, the dude that I had a date with earlier this week totally tapped me on my shoulder. I was like oh you have GOT to be kidding!!! He had rolled in with his crew just by chance, and saw my spirithood. I was just ... wow. Couldn't believe it, super smooth.
We hung out for a bit, and I got my groove on ...
THENNNN!!! I look up, and TOTALLY saw this dude from my birthday party a little while back. LA is a CRAZY small world ...
Totally didn't know what to say. It's like yeah ... became homeless, survived off of $10 for a year, crashed the grammies, jumped from a plane, traveled the country, met some amazing cool people, and oh yeah! they're turning it into a pilot.
I just told him to check it out. He's funny though, he goes, I was just asking your friend about you on Thursday. You had given me your number in the past, and you never answer your phone. I grabbed his iPhone and friended him on Facebook. I said, there! You can find me there.
Then my date from earlier in the week offered to hang out for a hot minute back at his place. Knowing that that was code for some some some to the fun fun - I was all SURE!! I wasn't going to sleep with him, but holy hell mama could have sure used some heavy petting. I am in a sexual funk like you would not believe. Ugh.
His roomie who wasn't drinking, drove us back to their place, where we hung out. Literally. The three of us at 2:00am were talking about childhood asthma, and tuberculosis. I shit you not. 30 buzzkilled minutes later, I arrived back at the apartment. Yep, I came home at 2:30am and still didn't get laid.
I just don't get it ... I'm too picky. I'm not an idiot, I could have gone home with a bunch of dudes last night ... but I don't just want to have sex, I want a challenge. It's just absolutely hilarious that the only dude who remotely stood a chance in even second base is literally the shyest thing on the planet. We didn't even kiss when he dropped me off. Poor dear, I asked him out to begin with, so there is no chance in HELLLLLLL that I am going to make the first move. Grow a pair, man.
Yep, so there we go ... that was my night. Going out again tonight with the girls. Hoping to god I end up naked in a hot tub in the hills ... *fingers crossed*
Monday, November 14, 2011 at 9:15PM
Whomp whomp! So, tomorrow (or today for some of you), I am going to be doing a wholllleeee extra level of lifecasting in the form of Live Tweet Tuesday.
