Do not follow where the path may lead.
Go instead where there is no path and leave a trail.
Oh yeah and when Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes, ever.
It is not enough to take steps which may some day lead to a goal; each step must be itself a goal and a step likewise.
Oh yeah and Chuck Norris’ version of a ‘chocolate milkshake’ is a raw porterhouse wrapped around ten Hershey bars, and doused in diesel fuel.
Nature gave men two ends–one to sit on, and one to think with. Ever since then man’s success or failure has been dependent on the one he used most.
Oh yeah and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is based on a true story: Chuck Norris once swallowed a turtle whole, and when he crapped it out, the turtle was six feet tall and had learned karate.
For all sad words of tongue and pen, The saddest are these, "It might have been."
Oh yeah and before each filming of Walker: Texas Ranger, Chuck Norris is injected with five times the lethal dose of elephant tranquilzer. This is, of course, to limit his strength and mobility, in an attempt to lower the fatality rate of the actors he fights.
Americans who make more of marrying for love than any other people also break up more of their marriages, but the figure reflects not so much the failure of love as the determination of people not to live without it.
Oh yeah and Chuck Norris’ testicles do not produce sperm. They produce tiny white ninjas that recognize only one mission: seek and destroy.
Thursday, September 23, 2010 at 6:26PM