Unkie Chuck Norris Says ...

A kiss is a lovely trick designed by nature to stop speech when words become superfluous.

Oh yeah and the Drummer for Def Leppard’s only got one arm. Chuck Norris needed a back scratcher.

Unkie Chuck Norris Says ...

Every ceiling, when reached, becomes a floor, upon which one walks as a matter of course and prescriptive right.

Oh yeah and Chuck Norris was once in a knife fight, and the knife lost.

Unkie Chuck Norris Says ...

But there isn't any second half of myself waiting to plug in and make me whole. It's there. I'm already whole.

Oh yeah and there are no races, only countries of people Chuck Norris has beaten to different shades of black and blue.

Unkie Chuck Norris Says ...

The difference between school and life? In school, you're taught a lesson and then given a test. In life, you're given a test that teaches you a lesson.

Oh yeah and Chuck Norris kills anyone that asks, ‘You want fries with that’ because by now everyone should know that Chuck doesn’t ever want fries with anything. Ever.

Unkie Chuck Norris Says ...

So often times it happens that we live our lives in chains and we never even know we have the key.

Oh yeah and Chuck Norris doesn’t say ‘who’s your daddy’, because he knows the answer.