#NerdsUnite: Confessions of an Unwed Bride (My life turns into an episode of Cheaters)
Monday, December 12, 2011 at 10:30AM<editorsnote> Nerds, meet by buddy Julie! She's my roomie, we met on Craiglist, and she is 1,000 flavors of everything awesome sauce. The reason why she had a room in her apartment however is a mighty long story. See, Julie was dating a duderino for 8 years. Yep, they were engaged to be wed and all that snazzy jazzy stuff. Now the engagement is off and Julie is attempting to heal from her loss; these series of posts are her best attempt. HIT IT JULIE! </editorsnote>
#TalkNerdyToMeLover's @ItsMeJoolie
Read my reservations about writing out this story and here's Part I, Part II and Part III of our ending.
My ex and I always thought that the show Cheaters was disgusting. It came on after something that we used to watch and we would talk about how awful and sad it was. I don't think either of us ever thought that we would experience a real life version of the show.
November 19, 2010
I got home from work on Friday and was ready for some me time. I was jamming out to music and going through my CD collection from high school. I came across a mixed CD a friend made for me. I couldn't remember what was on it so I put it into the player to find out. Literally as my finger was on the play button there was a loud knock on the door. I was surprised and couldn't imagine who it could be. I opened the door and my friend and neighbor Ellen walked in.
"When you were out of town last week (my ex) spent the night at that whore's house and fucked her."
I swear the whole world stopped right then. I started shaking.
"And right now they are both at a bar together. John (a coworker of my ex and Ellen's boyfriend and the roommate of She devil) has agreed to drive us there (neither of us had a car) so that you can confront them. But first, we should change the out the locks."
I start balling. I panic and my whole body is alive with adrenaline from anxiety and shock. I call my mom and tell her what's going on.
I tell her to call John and move forward with the plan because I'm being duped and I'm in denial about all of it. I'm just sooo very much in love with my ex at this point. I feel as though if I see this in person It will wake me up. If I see them together in person I will have no choice to accept reality.
While waiting for the locksmith I remembered something I had seen earlier in the day. See when all of this was going on, I started to seriously lose my marbles. Having the person I trust more than anyone in the world do this to me literally made me crazy. I was going through his phone and doing some serious stalking on facebook. In my attempt to find clues, I had found my way to John's facebook page and saw this:
I had a very sinking feeling that this pertained to me. Unfortunately, I was correct.
After I get off of the phone with her we call a locksmith and then wait for him to arrive. I quickly pack a bag for my ex to leave outside of the door. The locksmith arrives after what seems like forever, changes out the lock and charges me $200 to do so since it's around 8:00pm.
We got everything set up at my place and went down to Ellen's apartment. John and Danny (her boyfriend) came home from work to pick us up and take us up to Sherman Oaks where their office was located and where the bar they all frequented was located. Danny looked really sad. He told me he couldn't just not say anything anymore. He told me that when he saw me a few days earlier with a guitar on my back that I had gone out of my way to borrow from my boss for my ex's dad to use the following week when he would be in town, he couldn't take it. So, he broke Bro Code rule #1 to help me out.
Before I move forward, I should say that John's word is not bible to me. He was suuuuper in love with her. Which made him suuuper jealous and angry at my ex. This is why he was so willing to drive us to the bar. He wanted to get back at my ex. A lot of people at their job were really into her (the place was mostly dudes) and hated my ex for the fact that he got with her.
I go to my downstairs neighbor and tell her what's going on because I know when he finds himself locked out, he's going to be really, really pissed off. I remember her hugging me as I cried. Then I packed a bag so that I could sleep at Danny and Ellen's. I put the bag I had packed for him outside and we left.
The four of us got into John's car to head up to The Valley. John filled me in on what actually happened while I left our Halloween party to join the West Hollywood Carnival. I guess she got the point when I gave her a look in the kitchen. She wanted to leave the party not too long after I left. This really upset my (extremely drunk) ex. He walked down to our carport with her and John (who drove). John claims that at this point she was about to get into the passenger side and that my ex tried to make out with her right in our driveway. When I brought this up to my ex he looked genuinely confused. But who knows, he got pretty good at lying and/or he was really just that drunk that he doesn't remember. John goes on to explain that my ex yelled at him for "taking her away". I shuddered. I had seen that exact comment in a text message that night when I went through his phone. Then John offered to let me hear the angry voice message that my ex left him that night where he screams at him. My friend Danny stopped him from playing it, which I was grateful for. Didn't need to hear that.
We get near the bar and John says that he can't continue on with us because she is his roommate and no one can know he is involved in this. He tries to get me to promise to not hurt her (remember, he is in love with her). I don't recall what I told him but I sure as hell didn't promise to not hit her.
The three of us walk over to the bar which is in a strip mall. I have to sit down on a bus stop bench. My heart is racing; I don't know what we're going to find when we approach the bar. Who's going to be hanging outside of the bar? Will they just call/text my ex and let him know we're there? What do I do when I see the two of them together? After 10 minutes we finally start to continue to the bar. As we near the bar I freak out again and hide behind a pole. I ask Danny if he recognizes anyone standing outside and he says he doesn't so we continue on.
We walk in. The scene of the crimes. We sneak through the place. The couple we went to the beach with a few weeks prior are there. The girl looks up and sees me. We realize they are not there and shrink back and head outside. Danny finds out that they were there but the two of them left together to go and pick up another coworker.
We walked out into the parking lot and sat down on the sidewalk. And we waited for them to return. As we sat there it started to lightly rain. It was fitting. Danny got up and went to talk to the dude of the couple from the beach day. He asks him to please not inform my ex that we are here. He returns from this interaction and we wait some more. . I ask Danny about how far away their work is from this bar. I wonder why it's taking so long.
Finally I can hear his car. We stand up. As the car gets closer I can see her sitting in the passenger seat. My seat!! The other coworker is in the backseat. He drives past us, parks, the three of them go inside and then he comes right back out and gets into his car.
What the fuck?! I didn't go through all of this shit to not confront him! Did someone tell him we were here? I call him and tell him he should turn around. "Are you here?" he asks and the way he asked throws me off. He sounded a bit like he was happy about it. He turns around and parks the car. I run over to him as he gets out of the car, catching him completely off guard. I start yelling at him for continuing to hang out with her, while crying and hitting him. Complete TV moment. I remember him giving Danny and Ellen a look of disgust for their part in all of this.
I'm so embarrassed to even write this. I hate fighting in public more than anything. I hate drama. I try to avoid it as much as possible in my life. I don't even like dating because I feel as though you are signing yourself for drama (does he like me? OMG stop texting me dude! Oh man, I don't like him and he's asking me out for a second date, etc.).
I can't remember how we parted ways but Danny, Ellen and I started the long trek to the Metro station to get back home. He called me at least two dozen times as we walked. At first he was sad. When he realized that I changed the locks, he was livid. After we walked for what felt like forever, we get to the Metro only to find that we just missed the last run of the night. We call a taxi.
When we get home we have the taxi drop us off down the street from our apartment building. We knew he was still there. This is where I really started to get annoyed at the whole night. Danny and Ellen decide that it's best to call the cops to let them know that there could possibly be a situation. I tell them this is completely unnecessary and ridiculous. I think that's when everything that had went down that night really started to sink in. Before it had all been this weird surreal blur. I can't recall how Danny and my ex ended up on the phone together (wow, I have blocked so many of the details of this night) but then my ex left the apartment building. I stayed the night on Danny and Ellen's couch because I didn't want to be alone.
November 20, 2010
After we both calm down he comes home so that we can talk. He claims that the night prior he was on his way home to talk to me about everything that was going on and to make amends. I don't know about all of that....I guess I'll never really know, but he even if that's the case, he was still hanging out with her that very night.
When I think about this whole thing now I feel extremely manipulated. This isn't me. I don’t do things like this. I don’t yell at people in parking lots. John hated my ex with a passion and this scheme wasn't to help me but to help him fuck over my ex. I do believe that Danny and Ellen had my best interest at heart but I felt like I was in a daze and they were guided me in the wrong direction and I was too heartbroken to say anything.
November 21, 2010
His father comes into town to stay with us for a week long Thanksgiving visit. We had to act as though everything was normal when we were so far from normal.
#nerdsunite
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