#EpicFind: Deep ... Deep ... Inside Craigslist

OOOOHHHH Craigslist. After finding me an apartment, a bed, and potentially even a mate *waves* hello missed connection 711. I was in fact the brunette batting my eyes ... I knew you were playing coy. RAWWRRRRR!!!

Looky looky what I just found ...

It says ... AND I QUOTE:

every girl that dreams of dating a bearded uptown hipster with a bike

let me just remind you that when you take away the fixed-gear bike, the messenger bag, the scarf that's worn year-round, the ironic t-shirt, the dumb shoes, the pbr, the tattoos, plugs, and the stupid beard, we all look the same.

so, are you really in love with a guy or his accessories? or is it that you're in love with the whimsical idea of an urban lumberjack type who will go on "adventures" with you, meanwhile being perfectly content with doing what every other human being our age does: drinking and fucking?

also, tell me about the last black guy you dated. what's that? you can't? cause every fucking uptown hipster is a white boy from the suburbs.

the uptown wannabes from the suburbs grow up idolizing the current inhabitants. when they're old enough, they move there, grow beards and do the stupid shit that kids do (eg. drink). what's ironic is that this new generation then grows up and becomes the new kids to be idolized by the new uptown wannabes from the suburbs. it's an endless cycle of superficiality, facades, and stupid kids seeking affirmation from their peers.

the truth is, NONE OF YOU ARE COOL!

i wish i could be there, 20 years from now, when you look back at pictures of yourselves from today. it's like explaining zubas in the 90s to someone today.

irony is not timeless.

marry a guy with a yacht.

#epic

#EpicFind: Deep ... Deep ... Inside Craigslist

Ohhhhhhh sweet ... sweet ... sweet Craigslist. Do you ever stop giving? Like ever? Does awesomeness just organically pour out from your core? *sigh*

Looky looky what I just found on Craigslist...

It says ... AND I QUOTE:

Looking for Rabbi Versed in DARK TALMUDIC ARTS to create GOLEM.

WANTED:

One Rabbi versed in the Dark Talmudic Arts to create one Golem for household of three. Golem will perform rudimentary household chores such as dishes & sweeping, basic Math Tutoring for our daughter in 3rd grade and basic household security. Golem must be obedient and fairly unobtrusive on our every-day lives.

We will supply all materials needed (clay, twigs, calfskin parchment, etc) needed to create the Golem. All you need to do is use your magical ancient Rabbinic skills to animate said Golem!

Please note! We are looking for a Rabbi to create a Golem: an anthropomorphic being created from inanimate matter from Jewish folk-lore, NOT Gollum: a former Hobbit turned into monster and looking for "precious". This is important! We have no interest in living with Gollum. We want a Golem. Please respond, serious inquiry only.

#epic

LCD Soundsystem's last show at Madison Square Garden

#TalkNerdyToMeLover's @maniacalmorgan

 

I don't know how many of you are familiar with LCD Soundsystem's music. They are one of the most epic of epic bands. So freaking good! Alas, tonight is their last show ever. My roommate @tgumb bought tickets, flew out to NYC from LA, and is enjoying the show. Lucky son-of-a-gun. Anyway, LCD's last show is livestreaming! Here's the feed so you can enjoy the epicness!

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#Epic Night of Epicness

#TalkNerdyToMeLover's @maniacalmorgan

So, my Thursday night started just like any other Thursday night. Work work work. I was finishing up at work when I got a text from @TGumb: "Big plans for tonight and your coming" I'm always down for an adventure, so we met up at Backstage Bar and Grill..

So, I get there a tid bit early, but that's okay. I had my awesome adorable Spirithood on. Yeah, I made friends really quickly. I also discovered that they had $3 beers. It would have been fiscally irresponsible for me to not take advantage of said $3 beers, so I had a few. Tucker (@TGumb) showed up with his friends Lance and Mia and we proceeded to do some more drinking. We had a few extra spirithoods with us, so we were letting people try them on and just having a genuinely good time. Awesome. As the bar was wrapping up, the night was just getting started.

Tucker (the responsible DD) drove us downtown for the next part of the night. We had no idea what was in store for us. We end up at this Korean place called the Wi Spa. 

We walk in to the lobby and they give us all uniforms to put on. What? To put it lightly, I was not sober. At all. Poor Mia had to go to the ladies locker room while us guys went to ours. We changed and somehow in the process I got split up from everyone. I wandered up some stairs to the next floor. What did I find? A big open room with 50 people sleeping on mats everywhere. Like, what? Creepy. I go up another flight of stairs to the roof. Just some tables and a smoking area. I end up downstairs in the big open room and find Lance and Tucker. Now, on the outside of this big open room are all these doors to small saunas. The first one we go in is the ice sauna. ICE SAUNA. Yes, it was 40 degrees in there. We sat around cold as shit until I say enough. We found a couple of mats in the main room and lay down to wait for Mia. Might I add, that the tiles in the main room are all heated. Yep, hot floor. I had no idea what was going on. Oh, also. It was dead quiet. No one was talking or making any sounds. Being drunk makes quiet nearly impossible. Mia finally found us and told us horror stories that was the women's spa. She apparently didn't know where to go, so went and sat in the women's spa where they make you take your clothes off. Yeah, so you can imagine how awkward she felt. Some time during the night, we decided that we were hungry. By sometime, I definitely mean 3am. We called some random 24 hour food joint and had them deliver us sandwiches. Oh. My. God. We ended up staying there and exploring all the other sauna rooms until 8am. Can I just tell you that one of the sauna rooms was 240 degrees? Yeah, too hot if you ask me. This won't be a night that I'll be forgetting anytime soon.

#EPIC

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@JenSquard's Life + November = #EPIC

#TalkNerdyToMeLover's @JenSquard

Holy poopsicles.  This month has been...stunning.  Literally, I don't even know how to react to how awesome November was for me.  You have to understand, this has been a rough year.  Last year was hard, too.  We have had zero dollars for a way long time, like a year and a half, so we haven't been able to do much of anything.  No vacations, no day trips, new clothes for anyone, upgrades to my business, dates, presents....nothing but the basics.  Which is fine, we live pretty simply and don't need a lot, but you need a little bit of excitement in your life or you tend to go nuts.  Meh. 

Anywhoozle, November has been amazing.  Brian (the hubbard) got a new job, which not only means steady hours and predictable income, but he will be doing something he loves.  He was starting to feel pretty lame not using his degree and not making any cashola.  So he is soooo happy in his new position.  We also came into some unexpected money a few times this month.  Which means we get to pay off all of our bills, and buy some things that make life easier, and improve my business.  I'm a pro photographer, (click here and see for yourself!) so a new camera and a nice lens = necessary.  And a computer that works all the time = no brainer.  So here is a rundown of all of the rad crap that came into my life this month:

So thank you Brian, thank you Mom, thank you @JenFriel, and thank you universe.  My little heart is happy and I am making changes in my life.  Like big time.  Starting now.  No wait....okay, now.

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