#HowTo: Trigger attraction in women

<editorsnote> Nerds, meet my buddy Jordan; he's a former Wall Street attorney, and is now the owner and co-founder of The Art of Charm, a dating and relationships coaching company, as well as the co-host of 'Go Legendary', a men's lifestyle & social dynamics talk show. How friggen rad is that shiznat? Whoop whoop! </editorsnote>

#TalkNerdyToMeLover's Jordan Harbinger

Seduction is bringing out the natural character of women. It’s not in your relationship to her social mask which you believe is sexuality. That’s what the game wants to continue propagating the economic cycle of fashion, sex, porn, and beauty industries.

Triggering attraction (instead of purporting the economic fantasy) is done by having a polar relationship to her female alpha energy (not just her independent personality or social status). It’s up to you as a man to know this and DO connect with her energy and nature in your communication instead of just her social value or personal development. It comes down to the levels on which you’re communicating with women. If you’re trying to ‘get somewhere’ with her independent or social alpha behavior, you’re communicating with women on the 6% of causal socio-cultural development which is non-sexual and leaves you both high and dry. It’s in having that relationship with all female alpha nature which will allow you to trigger attraction, flirting, and responses that you just couldn’t before.

THAT RELATIONSHIP DOES NOT EXIST IN OUR MAINSTREAM SOCIETY which is why it’s such a challenge. Amongst other things, I teach guys how to build that relationship which will give you the ability to attract women like nothing else.

As a man, you are the one to bring out that suppressed alpha nature within women. Their sexuality has been suppressed for years and instead of developing, it’s been corrupted and jaded by social pressure and relational influence on their behavior. You have to be stronger than the game itself in order to consistently succeed in relation to women. You have to be stronger than THEIR social programming and instantly communicate nonverbal relational equality and natural value.

You are the man to bring it out; that is where your power lies in seduction. If you’re gaining too much interpersonal rapport with an independent women, there’s not going to be much attraction and you’ll be stuck in the friend zone very fast. A mouse could fart in the wind and women today will lose interest within 1 minute but don’t let that depress you. The behavior of women is more at fault than you could ever fathom right now.

I have been around the world, been the EXACT same man and same behavior and the range fan of female behavior is the most volatile and variable thing. I take care of myself but I’ve stopped taking the blame for unnatural behavior or suppression of others. I can help you free your mind by changing the types of behavioral relationship you have. You have to be the rock and have conditioned relationships of power if you want to consistently succeed with women. Things are difficult today BECAUSE the behavior of women changed. Not just because you changed; more so because the behavior of women changed. Taking the weight of the corrupted First World on your shoulder is psychologically damaging.

Everything is causality.

Female behaviorism is THE invisible missing link yet is the most important because nothing gets anywhere without a woman’s inherent approval. Women will get what they want; they just have to want it. And today they are more confused than ever in our popular culture but they know inherently how to respond when they are touched on that natural level (actually Prada’s often don’t do anything when they do feel a connection which is why you have to often just keep doing the right things to push it forward).

It’s not your inner game; it’s your physiological relationship with female nature. Their behavior is more important than your inner game in making relationships happen. Things have become so jaded in certain environments that in many cases strippers actually come closest to the mating process with showing interest but it’s all about money. America has lost touch but as a man you can bring out their nature within women instead of the game and that is seduction.

So the key to seduction lies in nature and energy, not within the interpersonal or social dynamics of logical/verbal communication. I can ‘show you’ on my one on one coaching trips or lead you to the resources (just not here). Learn to grow in your relationship to alpha nature and all of your questions will be answered about women. To do so, you have to go beyond the behavior of First World women because unless you are somehow ALREADY a natural, though our women are great models of personal development and social adaptation, our adult generally women are PISS POOR models of natural behavior.

The main secret is understanding that female sexuality is nothing like a prick-teasing porn star. What we are missing in all of the 1st World Western culture are natural alpha models of female behavior. They’re just not financially viable for the architects to sexploit but it’s up to you to HAVE a behavioral relationship with female alpha nature and then you will consistently trigger attraction and flirting within the women you connect with. It is THE missing answer that men are struggling for.

Triggering that physiological response a woman has in response opens the path of attraction and starts the mating process. It’s when you can condition yourself into that upfront behavior of women (rare in the 1st World) that you’ll then be able to bring it out of literally all women whether it’s behaviorally evident or not and without having to spend years ‘in the trenches’. That means dating more natural women from outside your country and doing natural grounding relational meditation as I teach. It comes down to what kind of relationships do you have; relational mastery and controlling what influences your emotional state. It’s about accepting your power.

What are you getting emotional about?  A female pornstar so you buy more and perpetuate the economic cycle believing skin is sexuality? Anyways, the answer to triggering attraction is clearly represented the strongest in nature and your energy; your natural relationship with her at alpha levels.

It’s not your pick-up lines, methodology or personality; it’s your relationship with all female energy at alpha levels that will bring that physiological response of flirting out of women. Study and harness nature and energy.

#nerdsunite

If you dig this and want to learn more from Jordan and The Art of Charm Team, then visit http://www.theartofcharm.com

#NerdsUnite: The Ramblings of a Raconteuse (Why I freaking love the #NoH8 campaign))

<editorsnote> Nerds, meet my buddy Helenna. We met on twitter not too long ago, and she's totes mcgotes one rad chiquita banana with a flare for all things flair! That's right, Helenna here is what we call an artsy fartsy nerd. She's a poet, into all things dramatic arts, and she's going to come on board to write each week about her love of said drama. Well not like actual drama drama, like some cat fight shit - but you get the idea.

I only have one thing left to say ... HIT IT HELENNA!!! </editorsnote>

#TalkNerdyToMeLover's @Helslevy

As you all know from my first post, I am a “fan girl.”  What I haven’t told you yet, is there is nothing I love more than “artivists.”  

An “artivist” is someone who combines activism and art, and the boys of NOH8 do the best job of anyone I’ve ever seen.  Ever.  Period.  Seriously.  I first learned about the NOH8 Campaign back in 2009 and knew it was something that I wanted to support 100%. 

I realize that this is a very politically charged blog post, but I’m sharing this because I see the NOH8 Campaign as a true testament to the power of art to evoke society’s emotions and propel change in a major way.   No matter what one’s politics, I don’t think there is any denying that these images are powerful. 

As their website states, the NOH8 Campaign is “a photographic silent protest created by celebrity photographer Adam Bouska and partner Jeff Parshley in direct response to the passage of Proposition 8. Photos feature subjects with duct tape over their mouths, symbolizing their voices being silenced by Prop 8 and similar legislation around the world, with “NOH8” painted on one cheek in protest.

Three years since its inception, the NOH8 Campaign has grown to over 18,000 faces and continues to grow at an exponential rate. The campaign began with portraits of everyday Californians from all walks of life and soon rose to include politicians, military personnel, newlyweds, law enforcement, artists, celebrities, and many more.”

Jeff Parshly and Adam Bouska 

The photos themselves are stunning.  Adam is an extremely talented photographer.  They would be incredible even if there was no particular cause to rally behind, or statement they are trying to make.  But the fact that the right for gays and lesbians to marry, is at its core a human rights issue, makes these photos even more powerful.  

I am so incredibly proud to be one of those 18,000 faces and did this vlog about my experience when I did the shoot for the first time.

And I loved the experience so much, I did another open shoot session with a group of fabulous ladies since then.

from left to right: with Miranda Allgood, Tanya Perez, Cristina Cimellaro, Bonnie Gillespie, Holly Elissa Lamaro, Kristen Nedopak, and Molly Holmer

What Adam and Jeff have created is amazing.  They have kept an incredible fire burning for a cause that is extremely important and they have a team working with them including the amazing studio manager Christopher Hayden, who deserve serious props for doing an EXCEPTIONAL job.

Recently I attended the 3 year anniversary party for the campaign at the House of Blues on Sunset in LA and it was INCREDIBLE.  The venue was transformed into a gallery to display many of the campaign photos, people could sign the NOH8 board on the wall and get temporary NOH8 tattoos on their cheeks, the DJ Brynn Taylor was phenomenal, Adam took photos live of celebrities onstage, they had brochures, there was an open bar for part of the night, a red carpet… It was GENIUS.  Everything was incredibly well thought out and pitch perfect.  BRAV-freaking-O!!!

from left to right: with True Blood’s Kevin Alejandro, Leah Cevoli, Kristen Nedopak, Barry Levy and Adam Bouska 

All in all, I love this campaign.  

I love everything it stands for.  And while I’m sad that there has to be a 3 year anniversary for a silent protest against something that I believe is a basic human right,  I am glad that this campaign is stronger than ever.  Hopefully 20 years from now we’ll all be looking back at Prop 8 and saying “what’s the hell??? Why couldn’t everyone marry the person they love?”

But for now I am  happy to be able to be a voice in the crowd saying “fuck Prop 8.  I choose NOH8. “

xoxo

hels aka) Helenna Santos Levy

#nerdsunite

Fun with #OkCupid: A dude in the OKC corral (Working Hard or Beginner's Pottery)

<editorsnote> Nerds, meet my buddy Kenny. We e-met through OKC and although we've never gone out on a date, he was inspired by my documentation of my online search for love, that he wanted to come on board and provide male insight into OKC. So here you go ... and now we're here ... HIT IT KENNY!! </editorsnote>

#TalkNerdyToMeLover's @casetines

I’ve known for a pretty long time that I wanted to be a writer.  I’m not sure that it was ever a deliberate choice, or a conscious one, but it was just naturally what I wanted to do.

People have been telling me recently that I’m good at it, which gives me hope that I can become a full-time professional writer, but getting good at it was not natural.  I may have only gotten back into blog writing on a regular basis back in March, but it’s something I’ve been doing off and on for ten years.  It was something I sucked at for the majority of that time and it wasn’t until I started writing 20-30 hours a week that I actually became readable.

It’s funny that people sort of assume that artistic talents are natural.  That Walt Whitman was shat out of his mother’s womb and immediately penned his first great poem.  That Jimi Hendrix was a master at the guitar at age two.  That Picasso’s finger paintings as a 6-month-old were better than what 99% of adult painters could do.  But it doesn’t work like that.

It’s true that some of the world’s greatest minds, artists, and athletes displayed incredible ability at a young age, but that doesn’t mean hard work wasn’t involved.  Bobby Fischer, the greatest chess champion of all-time, was remarkably the best in the world at age 16.  A natural?  He’d already been in intensive training for nine years.  No natural gifts are molded without intense practice and hard work.

The only natural talent these greats share is a penchant for being obsessed with being the best.  This isn’t even something that I understood until recently.  I wanted to be a great screenwriter because I felt I had natural ability… so I didn’t put any work into it.  My slightly younger self would look at me now and say “You smarty, me dumb” and he’d be absolutely right.

I was an idiot.

My foolishness really began in college when I took a screenwriting class.  It was my first time really writing a screenplay, but I just knew I wanted to make movies.  That was the business for me.  We would turn in assignments, share them with the class, and discuss them.  

I was the star pupil.  That’s nice.

For the first time in my life I was good at something.  Not only that, I was the “best” at something.  It didn’t matter if I was the best in a group of 20 beginners; I was never the best before.  I was the kid who got picked second to last in P.E., and only picked second to last because even though I was a terrible athlete, I was the tallest and had good friends.  I once played an entire little league season and got just one hit.  One day, I was playing the outfield and a fly ball came towards me, I freaked out, and it hit me square in the eye.

That was probably a good sign that I should write about sports, not play them.  Truthfully, it wasn’t that I lacked the natural gifts to be good at sports, I just lacked an obsessive desire to get better.  I wanted to get better, but I would quit after 30 minutes of frustration.  That’s why I wasn’t a “natural” at baseball or other sports.  Naturally, I wanted to do something else.
So when I realized that people in my screenwriting class would see my work with envy, it was like an epiphany that I had found my gift.  This is my ticket to respect, a word that I had heard of before, but never felt!  

Then I went on to not write a screenplay for years, waiting for a Hollywood agent to call me and tell me to write a sequel to Beautician and the Beast (because that should be easy enough) and I’d have my in.  No call came.

But I was naturally good at screenwriting!  Or was I?  Would it be no different than knowing everything about psychology just because you took Psych 101?

The truth is, I did have a knack for writing screenplays and stories.  Ideas come very easy to me, I can weave a story together in minutes, jokes are like second-nature, and writing dialogue between two characters is easier for me to do than to have an actual conversation.  Isn’t that natural, if I’ve never written a screenplay before?  No, not really.  Why?

Because I’m the kind of guy that worked at a Hollywood Video for six months and watched 300 movies during that time.  I’m the kind of guy who can remember seeing his first movie, Die Hard, when I was three years old.  (Yeah, Die Hard is the first movie I remember watching.  Yippee Ki-yay.)  Much like Abed in Community, I was “naturally” surrounded by film and television because that’s what I was obsessed with.  I was studying, and not knowing it.  Cool.  Cool-cool-cool.

Which brings me to Beginner Pottery.  In a season one episode of Community, part of the study group starts to take pottery as a “blow-off class” and Jeff gets upset when there appears to be a student that’s naturally amazing at pottery and much better than Jeff.  If you watch the show, then you already know this.  If you don’t watch the show, then you’re part of the problem.  WATCH IT!

Jeff’s counter-part is amazing at pottery but claims to have never done it before, which Jeff refuses to accept.  In the end we find out that (Spoiler Alert!  Do you really need a spoiler alert for this?  You should have watched it already, and it’s still going to be funny anyway.) he was indeed doing pottery for his entire life and that he had a very dark history involving his obsession with pottery.

There is no natural talent that makes you amazing at something on day one.

Studies have found certain numbers like the 10-year-rule and 10,000 hours.  Numbers that define how much work you must put into practicing and getting better at something before you can really become great at it.  Even then, the numbers aren’t an average; they are more like a minimum.  It’s not that some people put in 5 years and some put in 15, it’s more like if you’re lucky its 10 years but for some people its 20 or 30.  

Tiger Woods became the youngest ever winner of the U.S. Amateur Championship at age 18.  He had been playing and practicing for 16 of those years.  Michael Jordan, Kobe Bryant, Peyton Manning, Ken Griffey, Jr., you can’t find a single Hall of Fame talent that didn’t work hard at it every single day.  I remember hearing about Jerry Rice out-working and out-practicing rookies up until the day he retired at the age of 42.  Think about that.  Maybe the greatest football player of all-time, a guy who had nothing to prove in his 40’s, was still working harder than a 22-year-old rookie who was getting his first shot at the pros.

As a writer, one who loves to make people laugh whenever possible, my hero is Louis C.K.  He’s the absolute best working today.  He’s the newest era in comedy.  Every so often, someone comes along in comedy that changes the entire game.  Louis isn’t the first person to do it, he’s just the latest.  (Buy his latest special on his website for $5!  The way he’s distributing his work is just one of the ways he’s changing comedy, right now, as I write this!)    

So if he’s the best, if he’s a genius, then he probably just walked onto a stage and killed it and immediately got on the Tonight Show, right?  I mean, doing comedy should just be “if you’re funny, you’re funny, right?”  

Well, for one, Louis quit trying comedy for two years after his first performance because it went so poorly.  When he returned, it took him over ten years of hard work, performing multiple shows a night every night, getting paid scraps, to get on HBO for the first time.

That’s the other thing about hard work that people don’t understand. You might be stuck at the bottom for ten years or more.  It doesn’t matter how talented you are, it doesn’t even matter how hard you work, it only matters about how long you’ve been working hard.  It’s amazing how often people still complain about not getting what they want after “1 or 2 years of really busting my ass!”

“1 or 2 years?” Are you kidding me?  Look, you might want to be a talent agent…  So you get your first job at an agency and you’re working 80 hours a week, doing shit work, for no pay, seeing your bosses do less work for six figures or more, and that seems unfair.  As if your bosses walked into the agency, shook the company president’s hand, and immediately got that job.

Not even Louis C.K. really achieved national fame until his show Louie became a critical hit on FX in 2009, more than TWENTY years after he started doing stand-up.  By that time, he had already gained a reputation as the comedian with failed pilots, and sitcoms that couldn’t get past season one like St. Louie and Lucky Louie.   Was the magic ingredient just dropping a word before his name for the title?  

No, it just takes a really long, shitty, time to get where you want to be and you have to work at it every day.  People aren’t just magically great artists, comedians, or plumbers.  If today happens to be the day that you’ve decided you want to be a famous musician, then say to yourself right now, “Am I prepared for this to not happen until 2021 at the earliest, with at least 40 hours of practice per week?”  Remember that year.  Does 2021 sound too far away?  Then you should probably pick something else.  You’re only going to get it if being a musician is what you HAVE to be anyway, not what you WANT to be.  

I HAVE to be a writer, because I’d write for no audience anyway, and I did that for over 10 years.  Nobody read my blogs until I started putting 30 hours a week into it and actually figured out how to write.  Am I prepared to look at 2021 as the earliest that I’ll start to achieve many of my goals as a writer?  Yes.  And it actually makes it easier in the present, because I know that this is how it’s supposed to be in the beginning.  Or I could develop an Adderall addiction and cut that time in half.

Nine months ago I was writing completely for free.  Today, I’m getting paid pennies for my work.  That’s actually pretty cool.  In less than a year, I became a “paid writer” for a sports website and I don’t even turn 29 until next week.  I beat 30!

The same can be said for social situations and relationships.

I’m sure any episode of Teen Mom will enlighten you to how ridiculous we acted in our first relationships or how terrible our dates were.  How many mistakes we make and how those mistakes make us better.  I’ve never been married, but I take it seriously when people say “A good marriage is hard work.”  Don’t take relationships lightly, as if two people just fall gently into the pillows of each other’s souls and live happily ever after.

I’m assuming that watching a young couple on a first date is one of the best people watching experiences possible, akin to watching Showgirls.  A complete, wonderful disaster.

Ever go out with somebody that you had everything in common with, but the date was so bad that you decided not to see them again?  Ever go out with someone that was not a good match, but took you on the most incredible ride that you did want to see them again?  There’s practice in dating and practice in life, just like practice in art.  No practice could equal no luck.  Lots of practice, and one day you find yourself having sex with Eartha Kitt in an airplane bathroom.

Additionally, your mind is not much different than a car.  If you keep it in the garage, never work on it, never maintain it, then it’s going to eventually stop working.  Since I’ve been continually working and writing, my mind has been sharper.  I’m doing things that I never thought I would do before.  I thought I was a Toys ‘R Us kid, but I’ve been growing up.  

Getting smarter is as much a part of growing up as forcing yourself to watch soccer since 2004 because you’re a stylish American.  

Growing up isn’t just about getting older.  Learning isn’t something you will only do naturally.  Getting better won’t come from God-given abilities.  Relationships don’t live in harmony just because you both like Foster the People.  

It takes time, practice, hard work, dedication, obsessiveness, and desire.  Don’t complain because you weren’t given any genetic gifts, be happy that you’re still young enough to find out what your gifts are and keep working on whatever that is until the day you die.

(Easter Eggs – There’s a reference to every Community study group member in this article.  Enjoy! AND WATCH!)

#thatisall

Want some more from Kenny? Follow him on twitter over yonder!

#NerdsUnite: Top 5 dating do's and don'ts that drive guys away

<editorsnote> Nerds, meet my buddy Barry. He's a dating coach here in LA, and starting in January he is going to help me out with dating and totes offer up some advice for the community! How friggen RAD is that!!! Here is his latest and greatest. HIT IT BARRY!!! </editorsnote>

#TalkNerdyToMeLover's Barry Price

Here are my top five dating do's and don'ts that can drive guys away:

1) Acting Too Independent

Most female techies, trekkies and nerdettes are also strong and independent. It's good that modern women can be self-sufficient, when a guy is  starting a relationship with you, refusing to receive his offers of help, gifts, or support sends the message there's no space for him in your life. "You're Not Needed Here" vibes make him feel as unnecessary and unfulfilled as Jabba the Hutt's personal trainer. Some men move on as soon as this happens, others simply offer less-and-less of themselves until they become needy and dependent on the strong woman (you!) both emotionally and financially. Many potential princes turn into frogs this way. 

2) Making A Good Impression

We should all try to put our best foot forward with the opposite sex, no one disagrees with that. Being well groomed is a must. But too many girls put on an 'act' when first meeting or dating a new guy. Maybe you hide your true quirkiness, geekdom, or idiosyncrasies, afraid the person will be turned off. (Some ladies outright lie about their job, finances or relationship status to supposedly make a good impression.) This sets up a ticking time bomb, delaying the inevitable parting of ways. It's true that your first date may be too soon to tell a new guy about your multiple CosPlay stalkers. On the other hand, if you normally belt out "She Blinded Me With Science" at the top of your lungs as you drive (who doesn't?), but stay quiet this time because he's with you, then you're missing the whole point of dating: getting to know each other! Hiding who you are is antithetical to dating. So, the next time you meet someone new, wear that Cookie-Monster backpack you bought today and laugh at all your favorite "New Girl" jokes. As my (single) Mom once said, "If he doesn't like me, I'd rather find out right now and move on!"

3) Having Too Long, and Too Specific A Checklist

It's good to know what you want in a man. Some things are deal-breakers (91% of his wardrobe is Ed Hardy, 9%  Von Dutch). But too many perfectly sane, dateable nerd girls have such rigid, detailed checklist items for a potential mate that they filter out everyone. Here's a good exercise to make sure your checklist is working for you, not against you. Write your list of traits of your ideal man. include his looks, personality, job, religion (Sith Lord?)  types of clothes, fave Manga character, hang-outs, hobbies, etc. Now make a list describing the type of girl he is probably dating. Describe her in detail. Compare her traits, activities, attitudes, etc. to yourself. If you match her description, you are well on your way to getting Mr. Right. If not, it may be time to think about how to improve your own list, rather than focusing on his. TOUGH LOVE! KaPow!

4) Sleeping With Him Too Soon

When a guy has sex with a girl the night he meets her, or on the first date, yeah it's fun, but it short-circuits the courtship process. That process, a prolonged earning of the female's affection, has evolved over history as a way to weed out horny dweebs who were not 'in it for the long haul'. What's too soon? That depends on the guy, but if you allow a man to jump this process, you lose a valuable filter for testing his level of interest and commitment. That's not to say the occasional night of impulsive passion isn't okay, so pour some Patron and party down. But you better know that body-shots aren't typically the  foundation for a long, stable relationship. 

 

5) Waiting Too Long To Sleep With Him

You may hold back on becoming intimate with a new lovable hunk for a variety of reasons. No matter what the reason, if you wait too long and he doesn't understand why then he could misinterpret it as lack of interest, or lack of sex drive on your part.  If you're just getting out of (or over) a long-term relationship and it's a big emotional step for you to be with someone new, then tactfully share that with your new dude. If you're stalling because you're scared he'll lose interest once he's slept with you, then your instinct may be right and he may be more interested in the chase and the conquest than a long-term relationship . It's up to you to decide who's serious enough to deserve one-on-one time with kitty. Either way, keeping a man waiting and wondering will have him jumping to conclusions based on his own fears, and ultimately doom your dating.

#nerdsunite

Want more from Barry? Call or email him for your free one-on-one Dating Quiz and Assessment today. BarryPaulPrice@gmail.com & 323.301.6038

#NerdPr0nz: Behind the Scenes with @MeowMistiDawn

<editorsnote> Misti Dawn is the nerdiest girl working in porn. In this column she invites you inside of her world outside of the sets, and inside her heart. awwwwwwwwww </editorsnote>

#TalkNerdyToMeLover's @MeowMistiDawn

I am back Nerdites!

This past week has been amazing. As you know, I’m taking my exit from porn and focusing on gaming and already I see this is without a doubt the best choice I could have made. Things are going to be great. I did a segment for Spike TV/ GTV for my top 5 games of the year. I went to the IGAs and VGAs and made lots of awesome connections, but what is the best is that everyone is relatable and freaking normal. Not to sound like a bitch, but you've read my posts... its dumbfounding what work ethics and manners were at my last job without reason. So yes. VIDEO GAMES!

I did some interviews on the red carpet for the VGAs for RipTen thanks to Dave Oshry.

Also, I’ve since moved to Hollywood, which I’m loving. Groceries, walking. Bars, walking. ANYTHING, walking. Unlike the stupid tan dumpster that is the valley which is just 7-11's and jack in the boxes.

Although there was that shooting on Hollywood and Vine last week which is a bit odd for me but I guess what can ya do. Walking to my groceries is worth getting shot? eh? haha

Nerdily Yours,
Misti Dawn

MistiDawn@MeowMistiDawn.com

MeowMistiDawn.com
TheNaughtyNerd.com
MistiAndMichaelLoveSex.com

Twitter.com/MeowMistiDawn
Facebook.com/MistiMeowDawn

#nerdsunite