Apocalypse Sex : Randombling from a Saint

#TalkNerdyToMeLover's  @saintpepsi 

Randombling: A 5 minute long unedited random stream of consciousness produced by a nerd for nerds.

listening to - Oingo Boingo - No One Lives Forever

So for many of you out there being the nerds that you are you may not be super sexy. Hell you most likely, like me don't consider yourself really that good looking. It's not a bad thing just we never had a whole lot of faith in our looks so we developed life skills like art or writing. So when a person comes along and says they find us sexy and especially if that person is a beautiful goddess one is inclined to give all of themselves to that person. This is where I have developed my theory around Apocalypse Sex or Last Day Alive Sex. See for pretty people the notion that they may never have sex again isn't even a thought they get to have. It doesn't even enter into their heads. It's up there with Paris Hilton thinking Wal-mart sells Walls. They know that being pretty people they can always get laid. I put out there my friend and writer for TNTML James “Fucking” Coggins. I'll admit this man is a good looking man with boat loads of confidence. I doubt the thought of a sexless existence has ever crossed his mind. If it has it would only be at his choosing to avoid the natural drama surrounding sex.

So why is the thought of a sexless life so important? I put forth that when a person thinks that this will be the last time they ever get laid; they have Apocalypse Sex. They Screw like they will never screw again because in there minds they believe they will never have sex again. Simple right! This goes for anyone who has a low self esteem and maybe that's why douche guys or bitchy girls work so hard at breaking people down to believing they aren't worth anything. Could that also explain why make up sex is so passionate. Because if you don't make up you might not have sex for a while or ever. So might as well make it super sex that either saves a relationship or like a camel allows you to go however long you must on the memories of that last sexual encounter. So this is why I think nerds have recently become so much more desirable. Someone finally realized that we have sex like crazed animals in the bedroom. We're basically willing to try anything and are totally open to any fantasies, especially role playing. I mean lets face it dressing up like Captain Kirk and Major Kira, Zelda and Link, or even finally seeing what happens in that plumber fantasy when Mario gets the Princess. Hell! We will always give sex our all and make sure our partner is as satisfied as we are. Because, HEY! It might be the last time we ever have sex. So why not go out and have some Apocalypse Sex tonight with that nerdy friend that has always been there for you when your dick boyfriends and or girlfriends have kept putting you down. It may just be the best thing ever.

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Save the #Internet

#TalkNerdyToMeLover's  @saintpepsi 

http://www.savetheinternet.com/

I shit you not people, right now we have the power to take back the freedom of the internet before it is cruelly stolen away from us and given to big business. It's happening right now and it's happening behind closed doors and they don't want us to know.  However, it's the internet and we are not China or North Korea! When something happens that involves the internet we will know about it.  Right now big business wants to own the internet and offer faster speeds to people that can fork over the cash for faster speeds. Making any big sites like NBC, Fox or any of those massive sites easier to use and random blogger sites, people who can't shell out the money to allow for higher bandwidth they won't get it.  I could rant all day but hey why not let a senator explain it 

Click the link at the top and add your vote to the millions of people who don't want the government stealing our right to be our own pioneers or prosperity away from us. 

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Saintpepsi's roommate fails

#TalkNerdyToMeLover's @saintpepsi

So we tried the cinnamon challenge at my house and it was awesome!!!

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#Randombling: Saintpepsi

#TalkNerdyToMeLover's  @saintpepsi 

Randombling: A 5 minute long unedited random stream of consciousness produced by a nerd for nerds.

#nowplaying: Set me free - Wicked Wisdom

Twas not but a few months ago that my brother hit me up with a query that i found most intriguing.  He asked me this.  When you wipe your ass do you wipe it sitting down or standing up?  Well I said to him of course I wipe it standing up.  How would you wipe it sitting down.  He went on to explain that apparently after someone caught him wiping his ass standing up they mocked him for his inability to wipe sitting down.  Apparently this is how most people wipe there asses.  You lean forward and stick your hand behind you and into the toilet.  O.o Oh hell no!  I'm sorry, but i just shit in that toilet.  No way will I ever stick my hand into a basin of water with turds floating in it. Course I'm a pretty curious guy and usually open to trying new things. Even though I still just don't feel I could get my butt super clean by wiping like that.  Either way I wan't to know how all this went down and tried it later. To my surprise your hand actually gets no where near the water.  Just in case though, I made extra super sure I didn't hit a bobbing turd and  went ahead and flushed to toilet. Tried it later the other way and nothing could obstruct my hand from the aforementioned wiping.  So I guess you can wipe your ass however you want to.  It's not like somewhere back in the history of shit people pass on someone said, "Hey! wipe your ass while your sitting down." No way did that happen.  We never used to wipe our asses sitting down it was standing up.  It wasn't until toliets came around.  So this is a relatively new thing as far as sense the dawn of human kind.  So that means some random person started making fun of someone else for standing up to wipe and it spread like wild fire that was unspoken because lets face it. Boy code dictates we not speak in the bathroom. I digress.  You should wipe your ass however you like. the important thing is that it's clean and you don't get shit on your hand. 

 To all you out there that read this randombling I ask you this.  How do you wipe your ass?  Also do you fold or scrunch up toilet paper to wipe. 

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Race to X success

#TalkNerdyToMeLover's  @saintpepsi

It's an unspoken game that people never really know they are playing until they lose. Worst part is, you only know you are playing when you lose. You get that feeling like you had one point between you and the opposing team and its all riding on you and you fuck it up. That's the feeling except even worse because in this game its all about who can move on first. I don't mean hook up either. Rebound sex isn't moving on. For the most part, it's just finding something to fill that void. So, I will explain in sports terminology, though I shouldn't be cause I know jack shit about sports. We can call rebound sex an assist. It's a step you take after a relationship to moving on but not really moving on. Or if you're a virgin, you're holding on to that V card like it's a golden ticket to heaven. Let's just say you and your computer have a scheduled date every night. See this hits the nerd community way hard because we never know we're playing games. Unless you're online then we pwn the noobs. So the race begins after about a week after you break up. If you get into a relationship the day after you break up, that's a technical foul. You will then be frowned upon by all associated with you. It also probably means you were cheating on your partner. That's fucked up and shame on you, dick. If you were playing by the legit rules, it would start eight weeks after you break up. That's the proper amount of time one should spend mourning. Who has time to mourn for loves lost now-a-days though? You gotta jump back into that game and play like you want to win the gold. So once you have the rebound out of the way, (cause you don't want to pursue the girl you really want right out of the gates. She'll feel like a rebound and then you'll lose her), the first thing you have to do is stop actively looking for someone to replace your X. The important part of that last sentence is “replace your X”. No one wants to be a replacement. Substituting someone for your X won't end well. Plus it's like paying off the ref so you can win this game. You're looking for a proper end game first to truly move on. In my last relationship, I lost this game after we broke up. I felt she found the relationship before I did and I was left losing that game. She may argue as I have recently found someone amazing. However, in the moment, she moving on was how I saw it so I did what any guy would do and got myself into a stupid short-term-nothing that got me nowhere. I should have just waited until now so I could have met the girl I'm with presently and skipped that embarrassing speed bump. Oh well. Ya live and learn. So, even though it's an impossibility to know just where we will find ourselves after a relationship, you can know for sure that at some point you or your X will find themselves having lost the race to X success.  

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