#Randombling: That Nerdy Chick

Randombling: A 5 minute long unedited random stream of consciousness produced by a nerd for nerds.

#nowplaying: So much things to say- Bob Marley

It is CRAZY retarded how much I love what I do. Honestly, the love for building this community was the ONLY thing that has gotten me through being homeless for almost an entire year. Yep, not knowing where you are gonna sleep really messes with you psychologically ... but knowing that you have a "home" online, just makes it all better. Dude, this is LA! We're always on the go anyway ...

It's the best of times and the worst of times. I know without a SHADOOWWW of a doubt that what I did will change the rest of my everything for a very, very, very long time. I did that. I had a goal, and stopped at nothing to accomplish it ... but fuck man, why is it you can meet THOUUSSAANNDDSS of people, and still feel lonely. I am around people ALL DAY irl, and online ... yet, it's not very often that I find people that inspire me, and excite me. They're just all so predictable!!! I don't get it! Do you not understand it is the GREATEST time to be ALIVE!!! Social media changed EVVERRYTHIINNGGGGG!! For reals, marketing is at GROUND ZERO! Entertainment?? HAHA!! Totally going social ... gone are the days on one way TV. Interaction, ftw! I'm LITERALLY watching it with a front row seat all day, everyday ... and holy CRAP it excites me!! Like a lot ... a lot ... a lot ... a lot.

I won't say that there's something missing, because honestly there isn't ... I'm just a perpetual share-er. I don't know how not to explain what I am experiencing to people around me. I make a living doing that ... but intimate relationships have definitely been sacrificed. Even with my parents. I would KILL for a hug from my dad right now, but I'm on the other side of the country ... and the best they can say is, you're doing a great job, daughter! They're kind of at this weird loss for words that, holy crap! you did it - and wow ... these people know who you are? I can't imagine having been in their shoes, but am grateful for the love.

I'm 10 steps ahead because my brain just processes this shit THAT much faster ... and it SUCKS because I want to talk to people about it, and they're so few and far between and spread out all across the world. I have 3 friends that I can actually discuss things in a very candid, fiercely passionate and intellectual nature. My brain just moves too fast man, and I have no interest in sitting around explaining things. I'd rather just put on headphones, dance to the beat, and move on. I don't even have a manual to refer to to see if this is "normal" since, oh yeah! everyone in this space is WRITING the manual upon execution.

bah. bah. bah.

Is this the curse of getting to do what you love everyday? It's terribly isolating. Dude, I'm SOO over people not liking what they do. It's like quit your job, and get out of my face. I did it ... you can do it ... suck it up whiny mc-whinester and put on your big boy pants. Life is yours for the taking. So go get it! ... annndd time is up!

Had a pretty rad date the other night, btw! Not posting on it ... cause, I learned my lesson the last go around. But super awesome dude. Works like 18 hours a day on set of this show on CBS ... so he's also absurdly busy. Mama likes that ... I'm so gonna end up being a cougar. I've always done things ahead of my peers ... can cougars be 26? *sigh*

#Randombling: @JenSquard

#TalkNerdyToMeLover's @JenSquard

Randombling: A 5 minute long unedited random stream of consciousness produced by a nerd for nerds.

#nowplaying: DHT - Listen To Your Heart

I have been super MIA lately - and I want to use this platform to apologize to everyone.  It sucks and I'm sorry, but I've just been so effing busy getting ready for this wedding expo.  It's on this coming Sunday, so I will be surfacing and back to reality soon.  I have soooo so much riding on this expo that I haven't been willing to put any effort into anything else.  Well, except the whole being a mom and working from home thing.  That apparently doesn't stop just because I've got some stuff going on.

So yeah, things are going to start looking up.  Last year was such a tough one for us as a family, but it finally seems like we are getting out from under it and getting on the right track.  The hubbard's new job is super awesome and he loves it, so that's really all that matters.  I'm getting more professional and confident in my photography....and oh man oh man, I had someone send me their resume to see if I was interested in hiring them as a second shooter!  What!?  Um, yah, that makes me feel A-Okay.  Because I live in 1950.

Anywhoozle, I'm in the crunch time for the expo, getting my booth built and set up and designed and awesomefied, so I'll rejoin the normal world in a regular capacity soon.  Maybe. 

Follow my craziness on Twitter: @JenSquard

#Randombling: That Nerdy Chick

Randombling: A 5 minute long unedited random stream of consciousness produced by a nerd for nerds.

#nowplaying: Cage the Elephant - Ain't no rest for the wicked

I am SOOOOOOO anxious for tomorrow. I feel like a kid on the night before a big trip to Disney World. We're having a big big big meeting with the Hollywood god, and our director to hash out the pilot script. I've never been more proud of anything in my entire life ... this team that has been assembled absolutely BLOWS MY MIND!!! The work that has gone into this from day one, and the completely organic way this all unfolded is truly something for the books. I am so so so so so FUCKING EXCITED!!! BAHHHHHH!!!

Seeing the name "Jen Friel" in a credit list with all of these people was literally the greatest thing ever. I screamed when I saw this one email that came in today when I was hanging out in the coffee shop. I've been working so much of the hustle in just getting all of this done with the pilot, that it never really occured to me to take any of it in - today it hit me like a ton of bricks. Incredible. Incredible. Incredible.

I'm pretty freaky at being able to get things done. I am SOOOOOOOOOO deep in this space, that all I have to do is think okay, we need this for this so I can Facebook this person, or send a tweet to this person, blah blah blah blah blah. It's amazing the nerdy network we've got round these parts. All people want to do is help, and be a part of the story. Its unbelievably humbling.

Holy shit, I'm creator and executive producer of a pilot based on my life and this website. Holy shit! Holy shit! Holy fucking shit!

I can't stress this enough either that I am so unbelievably honored to work with these people. No joke, and across the entire board. I had told the Hollywood god last year that I wanted to work with him one day - who knew it would come true so soon. HAHAHHAHAHA!! And OMG! Our director in this, he's so nerdy ... its brilliant. Super super super proud of it. Everyone is an expert in their own lil thang and collectively we make the most KICK ASS team on this PLAANNNEETTTTTTT!!! So much talent.

Really excited for where all of this is going. Again, there is going to be a LOT I can't say, but trust that I'll still be writing down what I'm experiencing as we go ... so it'll prolly have to be like some "tell all" thing at a later date; I can't shoot my own self in the foot in regards to this project. So yeah! Yay life!

Get 'er done nerds! Go and get 'er done! Let's build a frenzy.

xoxo #nerdsunite

more info on the TNTML pilot can be found over yonder

#Randombling: That Nerdy Chick

Randombling: A 5 minute long unedited random stream of consciousness produced by a nerd for nerds.

#nowplaying: 1979 - Smashing Pumpkins

OMMMMMGGGG I am losing my mind … holy shit balls. I totally met WAYYYYY too many people that I very legitimately respect tonight …. that not only heard of @spirithoods, but of Talk Nerdy To Me Lover. Like for reals … I am like FUCKING BESIDE MYSELF!!!

Dude … I know this sounds weird now, but understand that life is more abundant than you could POSSIBLY IMAGINE!! I went out on a date tonight and wound up kicking it with people that … I just couldn't believe. It's just totally rad when you CHECK IN on Miso, and they're like yahhhh you totally look familiar. God bless search engine optimization and social media marketing. Who knew being such a friggen nerd would EVER be so cool. Like seriously? You're in the peeps that read us? Cause like, I totes mcgotes adore you. I love LA. Only here is that possible. I love love LOVE IT!!

From the bottom of my everything ... as semi buzzed as I am right now, know that you ALL mean the WORLD to me. That right now, period end of sentence is enough. It all feels so so good. My date tonight even asked me … you mean you don't care about death? ... Because clearly, things like that come up on a first date with me ... I looked him straight in the face and said - NO! I found my purpose. I can go to my grave today, tomorrow, or the day after happy knowing that I did something cool as fuck, and the rest …. who cares. If it will be, or if it won't be … it just is ... and it doesn't matter. Celebrate the moment. Celebrate the minute. Celebrate the SECOND. I love you all more than you could ever ever ever ever imagine. Nothing matters. I get it. I get it. I get it.

Holy fuck ... this is even bigger than I thought. Thank you ... thank you .... thank you. No other words. Everything else is bullshit. This is real, this is happening ... and I just can't thank you all enough. This shit was crazy enough to work. AHH-MAZINNGG!!!

For reals ... if there is anything I can do for anyone, hit me up. You all kept me alive, and kept this story happening for the last YEAR ... so please, don't ever hesitate to hit me up:

Facebook: Facebook.com/JenFriel

Twitter: Twitter.com/JenFriel

'er get all old school and email me: JenFriel@talknerdytomelover.com

I just can't get over that this is happening. Just ... thank you. Thank you. Thank you!

xoxo #nerdsunite

P.S. The guy I went out on a date with tonight wants nothing to do with this website .... uh yeah, let's see how that lasts. MWAHAHAHA!!! =) =) =)

P.P.S. I have another date tomorrow night. Suck it beyotch! I can't date someone that doesn't "get" what I do. Period. End of sentence.

#Randombling: That Nerdy Chick

Randombling: A 5 minute long unedited random stream of consciousness produced by a nerd for nerds.

#nowplaying: Modern English - I melt with you

AHH! Wow ... good stuff coming up. I'm going to be doing a show on Sirius and XM on Friday. SUPPPPERRRR stoked! The peeps are calling today to talk about stuff that we're gonna be talking about and yada yada yada.

It's a weird stage for the site, a lot has evolved - I find myself having to hustle less but manage a lot more. Organizing things, following up ... etc ... I'm no longer having to shout from a rooftop that THIS IS A BIIIGGGGG DDEAALLLLLLLLLLL ... which is amazing, because it just is ... and enough people are now getting it that I can just take a deep breath. *BBBRREEAATHHHEEEEEEEE*

Also, I haveeeee to find a psychology expert. Like for reals. I want more lifecasters to come on board and do what I do, as I see tremendous value in it. @JenSquard is amazing, and I am learning from her that if I open a door in someone's mind, there has to be someone there to greet them. See, when I went on my little journey to find the meaning of life, I had Buddhism to fall back on and act as my guide. I don't want to get religious-ie with people and say if you come on board these are the tools you have to use .. gag me with a spoon. Not my style. That just worked for me! Go find what works for you! But I can't open these doors and windows if I don't have a place for people to go. It's not right. At the same time though, I won't tolerate less. For real ... social media made me accountable for all of my thoughts and actions, and that changed my life. Anyone involved in shit we're doing round these parts has to be willing to step up to the plate to do the same. I'm not going to dilute the brand ... it really is GO BIG OR GO HOME!

I feel for Jen, I know she's in a really difficult place ... but I also know, I walked that SAME step ... and lived to tell about it. Everything passes, and in times of uncomfort come growth. I want people involved in the lifecasting that we do to grow as people, and whatever that means to them. There is no time table for this type of thing, its life - told in real time. I just think the vulnerability one can show in that way is something so so so so so soooo many people are attracted to, while at the same time having amazing benefits for the actual lifecaster. Trips me out ... I don't really know how to articulate it, as it is a feeling for me at this point ... but I know Jen is there, and I know a lot of other moms out there can relate to her plight if she is just willing enough and open enough to share. Having the fear of failure while attempting to shed light on vulnerabilities is a difficult task, but I'm confident in Jen.

OMG OMG OMG my first boxing session is tonight. These people are sooo fuckin CHILL!! I love love love the Hollywood Boxing Gym. Went over some general social media education this morning, and they are sooooooo on board its not even funny. They just didn't know what all this nerdy stuff was all about - they're getting it ... and quickly. That just makes my lil heart SIIINNNGGG AHHH LINNNGGGGG!!!! Super super super excited for life, and super super super excited to be in the most amount of pain imaginable tonight. hahaha oh goodness, I am going to be SO SORE tomorrow ... but no pain no gain. Thanks, AH-NOLLDD! =)

Stay tuned guys, we've got so much stuff goin on its making my head spin ... but I am incredibly incredibly incredibly grateful on all fronts. RAWWRRRRR life, I love you! I love you! I love you! MWAAAHHHH!!

All my love and all my heart

xoxo #nerdsunite