#Randombling: That Nerdy Chick

Randombling: A 5 minute long unedited random stream of consciousness produced by a nerd for nerds.

#nowplaying: Martin Solveig - Hello

Good day, not great - not indifferent ... just sort of was. Came back from my longer than anticipated vacation in the San Dizzle. DUDDDEEE!!! Polly had a bed that I slept on for two nights longer than expected- hahaha! you KNOW my butt was going to sleep in that thing for as long as possible. King. Sized. Bed!!!! I've been urban camping since April of 2010 but specifically couch surfing since January 3rd of this year, and mannnnnnn I will never in my life forget how AH-MAZING it feels to sleep in a bed. Spent the last FIVE nights sleeping in one!!!! AHHHH!!!!

I was a dancer for 15 years, I was born dancing and on my toes ... this whole notion of sleeping without proper back support really messes with me in a very intense manner. Again, world's smallest violin- I am ETERNALLY grateful for a shower, and a roof over my head; this little life adventure I choose to take did not come with a clause of comfort - I'll deal, people are way more worse off in the world than I am. I get that- really do! 

Speaking of which, happy to report - that I finally found a place to volunteer!!! Took a bit of time, but again, that is Hollywood - people with court appointed ANYTHING take president over this lil' nerdy chick. Crazy, weird, set of scenarios too - I got so frustrated trying to find anything on foot, I reached out to my social network, contacted this dude that COMPLETELY has my heart, utterly adore, and would do ANYTHING for this dude - and he goes yahhhh! I totally know these peeps that would not only appreciate you chopping lettuce, but would totally love you to help them do this thing in social media. Unbelievable, just what I was looking for - by talking to my social network? Are you kidding me? I would LITERALLY scrub a floor if it meant it would elevate me psychologically to a place that I could understand something more. Humility is not a factor in anything. I cannot WAIT to just be of service. Emailed the chickadee back to see if I could come by tomorrow. All this stuff going around me right now is SUCH NOISE!!!!! Literally. I am a lifecaster, so what I do in an of itself is completely ensconced in self absorption - that's not what I want. You add in the fact that the ENTIRE back story to what is happening in my life right now is that they are also basing a pilot on my life and these adventures, and it just adds an element of BLAHHHH I am not willing to accept. Honestly too, that's how people fuck shit up; you get too caught up in your own kool aid. I don't want that - like AT ALL. I will give to this organization as much as I can, and I'm sure I'll give them ad space etc - but outside of that, people that post over and over their charitable work seems lame. I don't want to say I did x amount of this today, yay me! That further feeds the self absorption. I want to do something because I fucking want to do something.

The more you give, the more you get.

If anyone tells you differently, they are just trying to sell you something. I very literally cannot stress that enough. Let the rest just be. The people that get it, will get it. The people that won't, never will.

Kinda sad over this whole OkCupidness as of late. I can't go ANYWHERE in this town, or online that someone doesn't get what I do. Dude, kid you not, last Thursday at Dillons, this chick was PASSED OUT on the floor of the bathroom, BEGGING her friend not to take a pic and post it on Facebook - her friend BLURTS OUT, that's Jen! Worry about her more, she'll post on you. I helped her friend up, and said Happy birthday (as I heard Feliz Compleanos thrown in the mix). Her friend was clearly also a couple sheets to the wind, as in LA people don't normally do things like that. Just caught me off guard. Like HARDCORE! I wasn't even going to post on that, as I understand how douchey it can come across, but the fact that right now my shoulders are so tense, and my face is so scrunched even in just typing this - means that this is just something I am going to have to deal with, as uncomfortable as it makes me - I chose it. Deal.

Also breaks my heart that I am a walking talking cliche on OKCupid. Dude, I reached out to ONE DUDE today, and he knew this site and said "FYL indeed" - fuck your life. I love my life, but the public component of my dating failure weighs on my heart. I would love one day to say that there is a happily ever after to all of this, but I dunno. It's being documented in real time - I'd be untrue to my own art.

How can I be such a romantic and a realist rolled into one? Is it too much to ask to meet a real dude, that I feel a real connection with, and really wanna bone?

I talk about it enough, how has that part of my life not manifested itself yet! GRRRR!!

I'm so scared. Not about this site, or the pilot - that just is ... and I'm super stoked for the brand in general, but it means shit to me. I'm just more scared of what it is doing to the people around me. I think it's going to make me more of a hermit emotionally. Dude, even one of my own parental units tonight was like, why aren't you starring in your own pilot? 1. Um parental unit, they're going to want a big name. 2. I don't even know if I ever want to return to acting. I just like knowing what I know now about human nature. I went to one of the best acting schools in the world - those skills compounded with my knowledge of social media are VERY LITERALLY invaluable.

If social media had been around for forever and a day, no DOUBT I would have jumped all up on that from day one. It just feeds my SOULLLLLL in ways nothing ever has before. Why do other people place such an end point on you? Well, parents are supposed to - I think ... I love you dearly, but get off of IMDB. If I don't care about my star meter, you shoudn't either. It's SUCH noise! Noise! Noise! If I say that to them though, it comes across wrong. They paid for my school tuition, and I'm certain they expected some sort of return other than their daughter wanting to run this weird website. FTR, how is my brother still not a "liker" of my own website on Facebook? Breaks my heart. OMG I must be PMSing today. The word vomit will not stop. My heart feels so sad today. Like, so so so so sad. I'm becoming a cliche.

#OyAndI'mNotEvenJewish

#Randombling: That Nerdy Chick

People think it is very weird to take pictures of yourself when you're just sitting in a coffee shop. It's cool - I'll own it.

Randombling: A 5 minute long unedited random stream of consciousness produced by a nerd for nerds.

#nowplaying: Runaway - Janet Jackson

Oh my oh my oh my. I am currently experiencing the worst mind fuck. Dude, trademarking something is like the most nauseating thing on the planet. I am not hardwired for filling out 16 pages of paperwork, my brain very literally cannot handle it. I'm so ADD its not even funny. What's that? Something shiny???

Goodness!

Dudes, I am so mother effin proud of the social media marketing bible for the pilot. I obviously can't share it with you all right now, but I have put my blood. sweat. and tears into the marketing for this show - like for reals, my last ounce of EVERYTHING has gone into this baby ... just a little bit longer! BAHHH!!! It's such an interesting time to be alive. You not only have to sit there and educate all of these suits on social media, but actually come up with creative forms of execution, and that just gets me off. Literally. (oh baby!) I'm learning so much right now, this space is so ALLIIIVVEEEEEEEEEE!!! It's incredible. Greatest time to be alive. HANDS DOWN!!! Anyone can do anything. Social media is a platform; go say something. As a caveat though, you have to be honest, transparent (the honesty helps that bit), and genuinely passionate. BAM! Fucking trips me out, man. We're entering in a great space of collective niche experiences. And dude, the boutique target marketing that we can do on Facebook. Who saw that one coming? It's not the dot com boom! We're ALREADY making money off of it by reaching these people in such a direct way. UGH! Amazing! Don't even get me started on Twitter by adding the in real time component. Fucking trip man. Social media is the greatest thing evvveerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

My brain hurts. Can you tell? I'm not really sure why I'm still talking, er typing. Epic people watching btw at the Starbucks Santa Monica and La Brea. These people are making my life, I've been so thoroughly amused all day - you have no idea. 

In my next life I want to come back as a may fly. They live for 24 hours, which is pretty much the most epic thing on the planet. For reals, get in - take a look around - get on with it.

Big stuff this week. We sit down now with all the suits - kinda rad. Still hasn't clicked in at all that this is happening, for that I am thankful. Life with no expectations jiiiiigggaaaaaaaaa!!

Super grateful for you all btw. For reals, your emails make my life. You guys have no idea, I appreciate it.

Went to bed at 7am - slept for 4 hours. Four Loko man ... cheapest buzz and the energy ZOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!!! Okeyyyyy back I go. Fucking paperwork.

#shootme

#Randombling: That Nerdy Chick

Randombling: A 5 minute long unedited random stream of consciousness produced by a nerd for nerds.

#nowplaying: Smashing Pumpkins - 1979

Dudes, this Oscar shit is soooooo fucking exhausting. Like crazy exhausting. BUTTTT the best part is, I am learning. For some god awful reason, you just cannot livestream at Hollywood and Highland. It is absolutely not a possibility. I tried it with LiveVideo and we ran off of sprint - got nada. I use Verizon to livestream from my phone - and nada. It comes in super choppy and overall blah. Super stoked though that we got on the main page of Ustream.

Ah yes, I am now among the thousands that have been under Paris Hilton. #SCORE!

Today was more of a test, tomorrow will be the super fancy pants stuff. Learning. Learning. Learning. My brain is processing it - livestreaming is my passion FEERRRR SUUURREEEE!!! I love going live in weird and random situations. I would do it more,  but again, it takes a lot out of you. I need to stabilize things with the site more. Need to delegate a lot of shit out and get a full time team going ... but definitely need money. I can't pay anyone as is, and I SUPPERRLLLYYY appreciate all the help, but come on man, its about time we made what we're doing an actual business. This is RUBBISH! RUBBISH I TELL YOU!!!

Dudes, have you guys seen whats going on with Foursquare? They added a friend and follower feature. The default on a checkin is to not tell your followers. Is this an effort to make Foursquare more private to encourage more people to use it? One can only assume. Haven't read anywhere anyone talking about it either - but go to your Foursquare page. Here's mine:

WTF? Where did all that shit come from? I'm gonna do some snooping around to find out some more info, but I GUARANTEEEEE you it is being done as an effort to make it more private. I loves me some Foursquare, I'm just curious to know what those boys are up to. HMMMMMMMM!!

OH AND DUDE! We've been getting SOOOOOOOOOO many more robots crawling TNTML since the google algorithm changed. For reals, DOUBLE!!!! I am FUCKING STOKED, MAN! Go google for serving the end user better. Wahooooooo!!

Going to the Playboy Mansion later tonight. Needing to blow off some steam, no better place to do it. Definitely going to be an off grid night. HAHA! Lo siento mucho! It's a masquerade party, and since I didn't have a mask - I am just going to black out my eyes, draw on a face, and go as a panda bear. Hey, the eyes make it a mask! I'm stoked. I've never gone to a party topless before, but thank GOD for one, I won't be alone (not that that usually stops me from doing anything anyway), and two, I HAVE A CAR!! Ford hooked me up with a Fiesta for the Oscars. THANNKKKK YOUUU again Scott Monty!

Totally stoked that I'm not going to get arrested for being topless on a city bus going to the playboy mansion.

OMMMMMGGG I missed driving. OMG OMG OMG!!!

What a fucking weird time it is to be alive, that I have no money to my name, not even a credit card to be able to rent a car ... but you can ask a big wig at Ford directly for wheels, and somehow manage to get 'em. FUCKING BLOWS MY MIND!!!! You don't G-E-T if you don't A-S-K!!! Go, build your personal brand ... ANYONNNNEEEE CAN DO IT!!!!

Oh my lordy mickmordy, not gonna get on a tangent, promise. 

Alrite, off to the gym. 9 lbs down since I started training. It really all came from my ass. I am such a butt girl - baby got some SERIOUS back. But for reals, if anyone knows whats kickin with Foursquare lemme know. SUPPERRR curious.

#schmexy

#Randombling: That Nerdy Chick

Randombling: A 5 minute long unedited random stream of consciousness produced by a nerd for nerds.

#nowplaying: Time after Time - Cyndi Lauper

Scared. Stressed. Excited. Scared. Stressed. Excited. Scared Stressed Excited.

We're still waiting back for the news from the suits. This is utterly amazing that the negotiations have gone on for this long ... but scary as fuck, being on this end of it and not really sure what's happening. The deal is really none of my business ... I'm kinda happy about that ... but amazing since these hollywood gods are all sitting in a room discussing something that will change the rest of my life. For reals, the pilot is called, Talk Nerdy To Me, Lover. Based on the life and times of Jen Friel. Even if we get ONE episode that airs just ONCE on a major network ... based on what we did with the tech side, I will be kept very busy doing shit that I LOVE to do for like ever.

It's fucking nuts. I can't believe these people are sitting there basically deciding on the rest of my life ... right now. Like right right now.

Amazing. Humbling. Scary.

We did at one point on Thursday get something from someone, and I know its going to "work out," whatever that means ... but this big of a deal with these big of suits behind it require a lot of dotting the t-s and crossing the i-s (hehehehe ize made a funnize). Next week I'm going to be up to my eyeballs in learning all about intellectual properties and yada yada yada. YAYY!! Lawyers! Dude, this stuff makes my head hurt - you have no idea. I'm an artist, I just want to create, do cool shit, and collab with talented people. That's life, and that's what makes it all worth living.

Do what you love, and be you. It blows my mind that all of this was really that easy. It just creates this COMPLETE shift in consciousness too and the creativity that results from it ... amazing. Wow. Your senses are just SO heightened! I sound like a total wackadoodle noodle, but MAN! I've spent the last year feeling ALIVE for the first time. I just ... wow. Crazy. Overwhelming. Crazy. Overwhelming. Completely absorbed in gratitude.

Thanks nerds. Back to watching Pulp Fiction.

xoxo #nerdsunite

#Randombling: That Nerdy Chick

Randombling: A 5 minute long unedited random stream of consciousness produced by a nerd for nerds.

#nowplaying: El Guincho- Bombay

Oh my gatos. So much going on ... my head is spinning. Literally, I just went all Linda fucking Blair. EEEEEPPPPPPPPP!!!!

haha no for reals, we've got a lot of really cool stuff coming up that I can't wait to announce. Good stuff el nerderinos, good stuff.

Dude, totally saw Unknown tonight - AHMAZING! Great flick, the suspense killed me. Not quite as bad as The Walking Dead, cause good LOOOORRRDDDDDDD my heart pounds watching that show. Freaks me out ... a lot.

Going out on an OKC date tomorrow. Kinda glad, kinda sad. I'm just really angry at the timing of all of this. Timing is my thing, like my THINNNNNGGGGGGGGGG; why would you contact someone if you were in that kind of state. That's just the chick in me that feels a bit hurt, the logical part of me recognizes that chemistry is intangible, and he had no idea what he was getting himself into. It just pisses me off man, a lot. I don't find what I have with that dude very often. He's just not in a clear space right now. The friend in me wants to respect, the chick in me just feels really sad. I haven't seen him since it all went down either. We chat a lot, but its not the same. I'm a visual person. Ugh, it makes me sad ... soooooooo saddddddddddddddddddddddd ... I don't think I can properly articulate just how sad it makes me feel. Bah. This too shall pass. I dunno, I'm going to remind myself to not get on iChat to talk to him for a bit, and just give it all some time. We were texting that to each other last night, but well, I was under the influence of a solid sip of moonshine. HOLY FUCKING SHIT that stuff is CRAZY!!! Was hanging out with some good ol' country boys last night in downtown LA for a singles party. DUDE! And these guys there TOTALLY busted out with an OWLE bubo. I shit you not. I LOST MY MOTHER EFFIN MIND!!

I immediately popped on my phone and texted the pic to Graham and Harold. I was like STFFUUUUUU!!! This is AWESOME!! And dude, they loveeeeeeeeeeeee their OWLE. I felt so proud! I was like oh, but dude, you have no idea the work that went into that thing, and how rad the guys are behind it - blah blah blah. AHMAZING! I have serious nerd love for my OWLE buddies.

For reals, check 'em out in action over yonder!

They're such wackos. I love 'em ... RAAWWRRRRRRR!!!

Dude, it was a crazy weird thing to say to my mom today that "I'm going to the Oscars." You dream of saying something like that, but when it's actually there, it just doesn't click. So weird, all of this is still so weird to me and so completely illogical. It's just effortless. I'm doing what I'm doing anyway, and the action of it inspires people to either want to help, or just be a part of the story. It's so rad, and blows me away. Super super super grateful, and honored for this opportunity. Bat shit, fucking bat shit.

Wow, I'm going to the oscars ... still have to figure out the dress. HMMMMMMMMMMMM ... put out a bunch of feelers, but gotta see what bites. Super fucking stoked to livestream it too, dude, I'm going to be allowed to do interviews and what not as well. Epic epic epic-ness.

Great day, great night - feel partially like I'm spinning, but I'm just gonna go with it.

One love one life #namaste