#Randombling: That Nerdy Chick

Randombling: A 5 minute long unedited random stream of consciousness produced by a nerd for nerds.

#nowplaying: What I got - Sublime

*waves* HELLOOOOOOO from Vegas!!! No like straight up, my life is being MADE this week thanks to Mike from @wantowle. Straight up, I have a bed ... to myself ... this ENTIRE week!! BAHHHHH!! LOOK!!! 

Happiest. Camper. EVERRRRRR!!!!

Ugh. Can't stand it. 

And oh yeah, during the day I get to do things I genuinely enjoy anyway?!?! Whatttt is going on!?!? HOOWWW is this my life right now!!!!!! Dude, grateful from the friggen depths of my SOUL!

So, I'm in Vegas for NAB (National Association of Broadcasters) and basically I am going to be using this new app that allows you to not only shoot from your iPhone but actually edit and upload as well. It's kind of amazing, I'm not going to lie; it's called Vericorder. I haven't tested it out yet, but in the training today my mind was pretty blown. Literally, like people around me had to grab like ponchos and shit because it splattered. It's cool though, I have special super powers that rejuvenate cell growth wicked fast ... so uh, it's covered. 

But look! 

That's an OWLE, which has the Vericorder app downloaded ... on a monopod with a mic set up. The quality is so legit, it's blowing my mind ... straight up. Look at the editing ... 

 

It's kinda hard to see - but its straight up like having Final Cut Pro on your iPhone. And the fact that it automatically uploads, tweets out - these guys have it all so on lock it's not even funny. I didn't get to play around with it today as much as I wanted because I was on this massive wifi hunt after I couldn't get the card working ... and yada yada yada - one of "those" ... but tomorrow its on like Donkey Kong!!!

Oh but PS. watch out for your stuff while you're at NAB (and I feel like in Vegas in general - but whatevs). A chick from my training session today totally had her purse stolen. And DUDE! My bag was right next to it!!! Albeit, mine is a big Swiss Army backpack sponsored by Samsung, it still spooked me. Bottom line, just watch your things man. 

SUPPERRR STOKED TO BE HERE!!! If anyone from the site wants to meet up or whatevs, hit me up on twitter: @JenFriel, and lemme know what you're up to. I think I'm going to a mixer tomorrow ... but other than that, I'm not planning meetings that far ahead - just wanna kick it. 

Thanks again so so much to Mike from @wantowle for the hotel and the experience. Seriously dude, you're making my life right now. This guy is such a hustler too - his stories are out of this wooorrlllllddddddd!!! HAHA! I'm learning so much .. BAHHH!!! Loves me some life. 

Oh, one last thing ... my last OKC date totally went to the pooper. We had an AWESOME date on Friday, then he sends me this text saying "dude, I totally made out with an internet celebrity." I was like um, seriously? I wasn't even mad at him - cause, I get it ... I was more curious about the fact that I profiled this dude - and very honestly didn't think he was like that. It means, I have a lot of work to do. Clearly. HAHAH!! ... and now I know ... and even in jest, but either way I'm over it. Onto the next! This experiment is getting more and more difficult, but I REFUSSEEE to give up! If I can literally manifest an entire new life for myself, and a series of the most INSANE experiences - I can attract the right person. Life is reflective, so maybe some more internal work ... I dunno. 

Either way, super grateful to be here, and super grateful to get to play with new toys and software all week!! WAHOOOO!!!!! But for reals, don't be shy - if you see me, or wanna hang it TOTALLY tweet me and let's get it done. If you read this site, I wanna thank you - and maybe hug it out. Dude, I give GREAT hugs. Am I still talking? Shut up, Jen. 

#YAYLIFE

#Randombling: That Nerdy Chick

Randombling: A 5 minute long unedited random stream of consciousness produced by a nerd for nerds.

#nowplaying: Love the way you lie - Eminem

Oh wow. I am still going through all of the emails you guys have sent me with your stories. These are awesome ... but looonnnnnngggggg!!! Holy moly!

I very literally did not mean to start this whole saga. Wow, it was amazing though. Totally cathartic - and a total trip to see it all posted on this site, and no longer just inside of me.

I don't think anyone knew the full story of what happened. A lot of people knew a lot of bits and pieces, but now it's there. No longer belonging to me.

BAT SHIT!!!

It's weird that my dad (a corporate lawyer), and my brother (works at the Pentagon) prepared me for learning what to do if a guy ever laid a hand on me ... but this story was so hard to tell because it was such a mind fuck. I didn't know what was going on because I placed my identity in this person so strongly. I assure you, they would have warned me if they even knew what was going on ... no one knew. There really was no preventative measure in this scenario - I am a FIERCELY strong willed individual, just super grateful that people were able to relate to it, and take from it what they would.

This video btw, always reminded me of our relationship. Again, why the fuck didn't he ever hit me?!?! Would have been SOOOO much easier!?!?! BAHHHH!!

I questioned for months after if he ever really loved me. It was all such a mind fuck, I feel like I never really knew. I can say this though, there were two times in us hanging out that I know he was entirely serious.

One time, I was putting make up on in his bathroom, he turned to me and said, you know you're really beautiful. No, I mean like really beautiful.

He said that in the kinda way a mathematician might analyze beauty. It was very much because your nose is this, and your eyes are this far apart, and shaped like this - with your lips the way that they were ... it wasn't romantic at all, but I know he was being honest.

Second time, we were smoking pot with some peeps ... and I took a huuggeee hit - like huge ... and this is California weed man, I'm not a pot head by any stretch of the imagination (childhood asthma) - but FUUUCCKKKK I took this hit and literally could not breathe. Like wasn't even choking, just barely got air out type of choke ... he was sitting on the bar stool in the kitchen and had this fear of, oh fuck, she's not okay - someone help, in his eyes.

I knew if I died in that moment he would have been sad.

Is it weird that I think of these things?

I also feel a bit vacant tonight after telling this story. Like I literally feel in a very literal sense, that this weight has been lifted off of my shoulders and my body is readjusting to wtf is going on here. It's going to take some time, I'm sure the wound isn't completely healed ... but its certainly on the path to be, and that is something that I can only say now for the first time.

Remember, he may have done all of those things to me, but it takes two to tango. Something in me resonated in him and desired all of those scenarios. Insane. Insane. Insane. I am very literally SUCHHHHHHH a different person now. Wow.

On another note, things are moving along with the pilot. I'm pretty stoked. I'm trying to figure out my schedule for Vegas this week, going to NAB to meet with some of the engineers and developers. SUPPPERRRRRR stoked to see what livestreaming awesomeness they have for me to play with. UGH! EPIC!!!!! Talk about getting to be on the pulse and the cutting edge. FUCKING AMAZING.

So yeah! If any of you are in Vegas, totally hit me up - @JenFriel. I'll be in your neck of the woods maybe as early as Saturday to maybe as late as next Saturday. Again, have to see what's going on with the pilot, but stoked for the lil' mini get away.

YAYYYY LIFE!!! Keep on keepin on! And thanks again everyone, so so much for the support and love in getting that story out. I couldn't have done it without you.

All my love and all my heart.

xoxo #nerdsunite

ps. if you guys have a story you want to share on heartbreak, or anything love related - I'm totally all ears, and if you give me permission might even post it. No worries I take names and all that out ... but trrrrruuussssstttt that shit feels GREAT!!!!!!!! I'm all ears, so start speaking! =) =) =)

JenFriel at talknerdytomelover dot com

#Randombling: That Nerdy Chick

Photo by: @CatieLaffoon taken outside Drais in Hollyhood jiggaa!

Randombling: A 5 minute long unedited random stream of consciousness produced by a nerd for nerds.

#nowplaying: Akon- Beautiful

AHHHHH!!! I can't wait to stop being an urban camper. I want a home so, so, so bad I CAN TASTE IT!!!! I appreciate couch surfing for so long - incredibly beneficial to the hustler's state of mind ... but it literally starts to wear on your psyche not sleeping in a bed, and not having your own space. (OMG and hot water!!!! I take 2 cold showers a week. Fucking literally.)

I am very literally going through the most bat shit experience of my life right now - I'm going to be this character on a TV show based on my life and brand. Fucking nuts! I'm processing ... this is my therapy, and my outlet ... but its just different when you don't have your own space. Again though, incredibly. incredibly. incredibly appreciative of my surroundings. Like seriously? How am I not on a street corner somewhere? And dude, not even in the hot and hooking standpoint ... goodness gracious.

Everything is literally right here. Like any day, I can feel it. This crowd in NY hit me up for some stuff ... if that goes through I can get my own place somewhere. Obviously, I have to sublet. Until things pop with the pilot, we're kinda in a holding period. There's still a lot of work that has to get done since this project is 75% tech. Dude, totally get it. The agency suits could barely wrap their head around 5% of things that I was saying. It was weird.

Is it weird too that I very honestly feel like I've just begun? I did this shit in my sleep. Everything I did with this site came incredibly naturally to my personality, and just genuine shit I enjoyed talking about. I'm sincerely wondering what the next level of consciousness is. Ugh! I can't wait. This is the GREATEST TIME TO BE ALIIVVEEEEEE!! EVER. EVER. EVERRRRRRRR!!!

Oh and the emails I have been getting regarding the posts on the mentalist have been INSAANNNEEEEE!!!!! Newest post will be delivered in the morning. The next bit of it gets INCREDIBLY intense ... can't post that before bed, I'll be up til 7 am again.

Dude, read what one of the chickadees involved wrote me on Facebook today:

Yeah my b. I knew that wasn't going to sit pretty - but it was honest. Those girls have the BIGGEST hearts on this planet, but very literally when we first started talking and when I first met them - I heard no less than 10 times, I do not understand what you just said. It's just different when you grow up such a different part of the country. Dumb isn't the right word - that's a very rude thing to say ... I will say simpler, in the most genuine and honest manners possible. I know these girls can hustle, I've seen it first hand - but when it comes to a broader range of things, it just didn't occur to me that other people in the world weren't exposed to the education I received.

HALL HIGH IN THE HOUUSSSEE!!! WeHa! WHAD UP?!?! Yeah, no? Dude, a few peeps from my high school read this. Well, one - and I pay her in raisinettes. DUDEEE!! MMMMMMMMMMMMMM I need some raisinettes.

#drool

ps. epic evening. @CatieLaffoon might be one of my newest favorite people on the planet. This chick is fucking RADDDD!!! OH and I totally met one of the editor's tonight from Hot Tub Time Machine. He's totes besties with @meowmistidawn - they met on OKC back in the day. Fucking small ass world. He worked with Mary and Luke who are producers on our pilot. Bat shit!! BAT SHIT I TELL YOUUUUU!!! k ... bye.

#Randombling: That Nerdy Chick

Insert super serious looking photo booth

Randombling: A 5 minute long unedited random stream of consciousness produced by a nerd for nerds.

#nowplaying: Hands Held High - Linkin Park

AHHHH what a week. So much excitement. Don't know if you all read the announcement that I could officially announce in an unofficial manner to the rest of the world, but an official manner to you all ... the suits that are behind the pilot. Pretty rad, just very genuinely good people too. It was palpable - you just knew they knew their shit, you knew your shit and together good shit was gonna come out. good lord that came out wrong - but I went there, im owning it. HAHAHA EWEE worst mental picture ever. hahahahaa MOOOVIIINNNGGGGGG onnnnnnnn ...

Had a great day volunteering this morning. Felt AH-MAZING to be of service. I'm gonna post on the experience later, needing to get some more info on the organization from the chickee so I can explain to you all exactly what they do. So fucking rad! Felt great to sweep the floor, and serve. Was so hard looking at those faces, and just watching them eat - it was very humbling. Very very humbling. But yah! More on my volunteering later.

I keep saying how overwhelmed I feel, and how grateful I am - but I feel like those words don't even come close enough to what I'm actually experiencing. It's not like the overwhelmed you might have felt as a kid when you just ran under the covers - it's this mind body soul feeling of letting go. It's just this constant state of being at the mercy of the universe, and feeling so grateful. I don't know how to articulate what I am experiencing, except that I have never felt this way before. ever. I've been just a step back from people all this week, just kinda processing - and its still not enough. It's crazy. I am just feeling so many things ... bat shit, man. totally fucking bat shit.

There's something really special that happens when you so genuinely love what you do, and in touching things that are only fueled by passion. Not only do things just magically fall into place, but there's this calm and peace associated with it as well. You don't have to think, you just are. Everything just IS! So weird to go from being so super A type all the time, to whatever this is ... and realizing how many more things I am actually getting done with half the effort. I don't have to try because I'm already doing. Amazing. Amazing. Amazing.

#AndSoItIs

#Randombling: That Nerdy Chick

Randombling: A 5 minute long unedited random stream of consciousness produced by a nerd for nerds.

#nowplaying: Memories - Kid Cudi, David Guetta

HAHA!!! Omg I am still trippin over the fact that I went to an orgy this weekend. The house of Dr. Suzy was absolutely bat shit. I'm such a voyeur. Experiences like that open my mind, but I forget sometimes that this isn't social media - I'm not sitting behind the computer people watching ... they can talk back to me!

My OKC profile switch up hasn't brought me much luck. Well, I take that back, you create luck - but I haven't been getting that many more emails. I very literally think OKC has placed me in the lesser attractive bin. That came out weird, but OKC actually has a process in filtering higher rated people among other higher rated people - dude, the peeps I have been getting as matches lately have not been higher rated. The dating gods do not like me, man!!! What's the dilly yo?! This duderino did email me on the site and say that maybe if I talked less about work, and I'm like ummmm this is my life! I can't stop talking about technology, social media, and how it's changing our social settings and standards. It's AH-MAZING! Plus, if I don't at least put a disclaimer up about what I do, people will get reaallllyyyyyyyy pissed. I have to mention what I do - I screen shot emails. It's the right thing to do IMHO.

AHHHH!!! Super excited for Wednesday! We have a really big meeting with the suits about the pilot. Basically it got passed around the agency that's going to represent it, and apparently it was incredibly well received. I dunno, I met with the agency actually on an unrelated app development thingie back in December, but the suits manage all of that on their end. This whole process has been so strange, and honestly very emotionally draining. I didn't anticipate that part - caught me off guard. I'm naturally a VERY excited to be alive human being, but to be honest - I'm pretty grounded. I just do what I want to do cause I want to do it; the rest disinterests me. If I sit there and start to process what all of this, and that means - and that could then be this ... I literally get dizzy. Too much for me. Too too much.

We shall see - I'll have more to report after Wednesday. Actually, I should be able to say who all of these people are on Wednesday too. That'll be cool! I'm totally going to try to keep my composure and be like ummmmmmm the movies you produced are fucking classics, like literally, now you're a part of this?!?!?!!?! So humbling ... and dude, how all of this happened is like THE BEST STORY EVERRRR!!!! It's social media, baby! Was about time I got social and did some networking. omg omg omg so grateful. BAHH!!

Have a date with a professional hockey player tomorrow night. He's taking me to a hockey game, naturally. That'll be fun. He seems like a bit of a whackadoodle noodle though - haha, we seem a lot a like. I don't know if that is a good thing. We shall see - no matter what, I think I'm gonna get a post out of it.

#WINNING

ps. I'm totally DMing on Twitter with one of the former Bachelors!!! HAHA! (Crazy since I JUST LAST WEEK posted about watching it for the first time. Literally, I've never seen a single episode of that show - like ever.) Totally not kidding, he was on it a few years back and I dunno, he just randomly pulled a "how you doin?" hahahaa!! But for reals, this guy is actually a very accomplished human being and a big humanitarian. What's that? Oh ... nothing ... just the sound of panties dropping. *sigh*